Gutless.

Yellow belly.

Coward.

Yep, that's me. After Zak had taken Avari to school, I had scarpered and left the house only to sit in some cafe four blocks from the strip with my head down mulling a cup of coffee that was cold.

I didn't say bye to him, face to face. No I left a note telling him I had to pop out and that I hoped he stayed safe.

Gutless. I know, I hate myself too.

I had also turned my phone off so that he could track where I was. I just needed to get away. I didn't want to watch him leave, I also didn't want to say goodbye because deep down I was afraid that the goodbye would be final, if he realised whilst he was away that he didn't want to be with me after all.

So I was hiding, and running too.

1pm..

He should have left now, probably be on the freeway heading to California.

In my mind I could work out roughly how far he could be, but my heart still hoped he would be at home.. Just for when I got home..

Leaving the café slowly, I hopped to a taxi and arranged for myself to be taken back home in time for Ava, who finished school at 2pm.

Looking through the house, I closed my hand over the keys feeling the cold metal against my palm.

Home. Alone.

I hate it.

There was no buzz of energy, no smiling face or poke in my side when I least expected it. There was nothing but silence.

He wasn't here, as expected and planned he had gone, but I still felt the hope crumble in my chest.

Taking my phone out, I turned it back on and tossed the keys into a bowl beside the front door .

Gracie rose from the bed and wagged her tail at my arrival.

"Hey Gray." I smiled gently taking a seat on the couch. Slumping down, I lifted my arm letting her upon the couch beside me. I petted her fur and rubbed her ears until she fell asleep beside me.

Now all I had to do was wait for my bumblebee to come home!

I sat on the edge of Avari's bed and brushed her hair back gently "I love you, forever and always."

"Love you mommy."

Gracie slumped against the bed in exhaustion after an afternoon of madness and curiosity with Avari again.

"Sleep tight Gracie." I cooed ruffling her fur as she huffed.

"Gracie likes sleeping with me, mommy. I think it's because I have a big princess bed."

"Oh I don't doubt it for a second sweetie. You get some rest, you have school tomorrow."

"Oka-"

My phone rung out making me pull it from my pocket, I swallowed seeing Zak's name flash across the screen.

Before I could contemplate my next move, Avari took my phone and answered it.

"Hello Zak!"

I winced slightly knowing his discomfort about Avari saying his name rather than dad or daddy. But I wouldn't push or make her call him daddy, we agreed on whatever made her feel comfortable.

"Mommy, Zak has rung to say goodnight." She beamed holding my phone.

"That's lovely." I replied patting her leg before getting up slowly.

"Mommy won't use both of her crutches..... I said she needed both.....I know."

I rolled my eyes at Avari's snitching and continued to find clothes for school tomorrow. After working an outfit out for her and setting it aside, Avari had finished telling Zak her latest adventures.

"When are you coming home?" She asked in a little voice making me look over at her. "How soon?....... Because I think mommy is sad again."

I mentally kicked myself then for not putting on a good enough show for her, 6 years old and worrying about me already. I didn't like her worrying over my own pigheadedness, she shouldn't have to worry about me. Just simply child things, like when it snows, does Olaf get an Afro.

"Okay. Night night. Get those baddies." She spoke ignoring my question.

"Bye bye." She lifted the phone up to me, I took hold of it gingerly ready to throw myself at his mercy..

I needed to apologise, I needed to grovel and needed to tell him that in spite of my stubbornness.. I missed him already.

"H-hello?"

I waited for a few seconds before pulling the phone away. It was then I saw my home screen and realised he had ended the call.

Ouch.

"Did you not say goodnight mommy?" Avari asked as I slipped my phone into my pocket.

"I'll ring Zak later sweet pea. Night night." I replied turning on her star projector.

"Night mommy."

Leaving her bedroom, I hopped around the house before slumping down on the couch looking at the blank TV screen.

If I didn't check my phone once, I checked it a dozen times before accepting the idea that he wasn't going to ring back and that my wall building, had blown both our opportunities at happiness.