"Oh my god! I am so sorry! No, no! I'm leaving right now." I answered hanging up the phone as quick as I could.

"What? What's happened? Is she okay?!" Zak asked following after me as I rushed through the house.

"I forgot! I completely forgot! I'm so stupid!" I snapped grabbing my bag.

I turned to find my keys when Zak grabbed my shoulders. "Just stop, explain to me what's happened?"

"Avari, she has a half day! The school is shut this afternoon and she's still there! Where are my keys?! Move!" I cried panicking at the idea of Avari been left outside alone.

"Okay stop, I'll go get her." Zak answered pulling his top back on.

"No you can't!"

"Listen Lettie! Just because I haven't been around for the past 5 years doesn't mean I can't help now!" He barked.

I rubbed my forehead in stress "You're not on the authorisation list Zak!  You can't collect her."

He paused before looking apologetic. "Sorry. I jumped to conclusions there.."

"Yeah you did. Can you take me? I can't find my stupid keys."

He nodded "Sure thing. Let's go."

---

My mind reeled at the idea of Avari being left outside the school alone waiting for me, the idea of her rushing out and not finding me waiting was breaking my heart.

Zak's finger brushed my cheek making me come back to my senses and look over at him as he drove.

"Hey, come on. Avari won't want any tears." He whispered looking at me quickly before turning his attention back to the road.

"I swear it's never happened before! I'm never this stupid but since her exorcisms and you finding out I've been so stressed!"

"Why stressed? What is so bad about me knowing?" He asked.

"I'm stressed because I don't want her finding out when you're not going to stick around! I'm stressed because I don't want her to blame me for taking her away from you when in theory you don't want to be a part of her life. I don't want you to use it against me." I admitted wiping my tears.

"Use it? Like use it in an argument?" He asked.

I nodded gently "I need to protect her, she's my baby. Yes she's your flesh and blood too but she's my baby."

"Scarlett, I would never tell Avari without your consent to do so. I can understand how confusing it would be for her, I wouldn't stoop to that level." He frowned.

We stayed quiet until we arrived at Avari's school, I wasted no time in clambering out and running in to get her.

"Oh I am so sorry!" I cried rushing over to where she was sat with Mrs Lowe on the laptop.

Mrs Lowe smiled "It's not a problem, me and Avari have been working on our maths whilst we waited. Haven't we?" She asked Avari who nodded smiling at me.

"That's brilliant! Let's get you home." I smiled gently and looked to Mrs Lowe. "Sorry for keeping you. Say bye Avari."

"Bye bye!"

"See you next week Avari."

"Thank you." I whispered to Mrs Lowe who smiled.

"Don't worry, no harm done."

Holding Avari's hand, we walked through the office and out the front reception doors when she paused.

"Did you forget me mommy?" She asked looking up at me.

I shook my head "Never, in fact I was at home thinking about you, I forgot the school was half day today. Sorry sweetheart."

She nodded "Everyone's mommy picked them up. But you weren't here.."

I sighed stopping to crouch down to her height "I know darling and I promise it won't happen again."

After a hug I was forgiven, we shared a cuddle before continuing on, as we rounded the brick wall, Avari stopped Zak leant up against his car.

Her face turned into a frown as she looked at me. "Why is he here?"

"Zak was helping me, I couldn't find my keys to come and get you."

"I don't want to go in his car. He shouted at me."

Zak heard and tried to hide the hurt look on his face. "Hey pumpkin." He spoke gently.

Avari looked up at me before looking at Zak "Hello Zak." She mumbled.

"Avari can I have a word?" He asked.

She nodded holding my hand tightly. He smiled and crouched down to her height.

"I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I shouted and scared you. It was naughty of me and I promise I won't do it again..."

Her little forehead held a wrinkle as she frowned at him "I don't want to live at your house when Holly is there. You're meaner."

He lowered his head accepting that harsh truth. "I'm sorry."

"Where's Gracie?" She asked looking at him hopeful.

"She's at home today, it was too hot for her. She's just had a haircut too from the dog groomers. So she looks a little funny." He chuckled.

"Why?"

"Well I have her cut fur cut short to keep her cool, but her tail is all fluffy, look." He pulled his phone out to show her a photo in which she giggled instantly.

And just like that, they were friends again.

***

I laughed gently as I sat on the step watching Zak and Avari run around the garden. The sweat was pouring off his skin in the heat, he had throw his top over the tent in an attempt to cool down. For the last few hours Zak had certainly put in effort, and I could see there was a chance between those two growing a firm bond.

It mainly came from Zak's compliance to do anything Avari said, so if she asked him to act like a horse and get in all fours.. He'd do it and she would sit on his back waving her hand as if she was a princess.

We had lunch together before Zak laid under the tent with Avari reading her a story, and whilst I melted over the sight of them too, it only lasted 10 minutes before Avari began the game of tag.

"Okay! Avari let's calm down a little bit, Zak's all hot and sweaty." I smiled as she stopped to give him a sympathetic pat as he bent over panting.

"Go get a drink." She advised before skipping off and back into her tent.

Zak looked over at me pulling an exhausted face "Come on." I urged standing up and heading in.

By the time he wandered to the kitchen, I had a large iced water ready for him. Pulling out a seat, he sat down at the table, I tossed him a towel to wipe himself down.

"A towel? Really?"

"You're covered in sweat."

"You used to love me like that." He laughed wiping his face before he rubbed his chest.

"That was a long time ago." I replied quietly taking a seat opposite him.

I watched as he gulped back the water before setting the glass down. His eyes met mine and through awkwardness, I looked away.

"I guess you're wondering why huh?" He asked making me look at him.

"Sorry?"

"Holly, why I stay with her? After everything?"

I shook my head and crossed my feet over "It's none of my business."

"It's because I needed someone.. You see I had someone I cared about, a certain person I would call at all hours just to hear their voice.. I took them for granted. Presumed they would always been there, and then they weren't." He answered.

"We all do things we're not proud of. But we all make mistakes, it makes us human." I replied standing up to get him another glass. Turning my back to him, I tried to focus on anything but the possibility, his someone was me.

I froze as his hands took my hips and his breath tickled my ear "It was you, and you left me with nothing.. I had to go for someone who wasn't you because you hurt me beyond repair."

Swallowing, I pushed his hands down "I did not hurt you beyond repair. You do that on your own accord." I moved away only to be followed.

"Stop running away Scarlett."

"I'm not." I scoffed.

"You are." He answered pulling me back in front of him. "What do you do? What makes you have so much control? I hate it. I hate not being able to control my impulses."

"I don't understand." I whispered shaking my head at him.

"Why can't I stop thinking about us? All those years ago? Why can't I get you out of my head?"

I shrugged "A-Avari maybe?" I guessed.

"No it's only you." He answered scanning my face with his eyes. "Your hands, your fingers, your nails digging in my skin, our skin together, the endless nights, your lips..." He trailed off as he looked at them.

"But you still chose Holly, every time." I answered him quietly.

"Because I was and I am an idiot. I want to go back, change-"

"Well you can't change anything. Can you? It's happened. We have both moved on. You still have Holly and I have Avari. Things are better this way." I confirmed.

"You don't mean that..." He answered breathlessly.

"I do. I uh- maybe you should go now?"

"What?"

"Yeah.. I mean, it's nearly dinner time and I'm sure Holly will be waiting for you. So.."

"But I want to be here, with you."

"Well you can't! You made your choice Zak! You picked her!" I snapped clamping my mouth in shock over the sudden outburst.

"Well I chose wrong. And I hate myself for it." He confirmed before walking out the kitchen leaving me alone.

I stepped back and held the side for support as I took a breath. My mind reeled with questions and the wounds in my heart throbbed. Clenching my eyes shut, I pushed down the emotions and vowed not to delve into them. Because they took me to a dark place...