Chapter 3: Ghostfucker and Other Realities

The mansion felt too quiet now. Or maybe it was just that the silence had grown heavier with each passing minute. TSOTI couldn't tell anymore. The whole house had an oppressive, suffocating air, and every step he took seemed to echo in a way that made it feel even worse. The old wood creaked underfoot, and the flickering lights above cast long shadows across the faded wallpaper.

Violet, walking beside him, broke the silence with a laugh. "You know, if we make it out of here alive, I'll never look at a haunted mansion the same way again," she said, her voice a bit too cheerful for the situation. "But hey, at least you're in good company, right? I mean, I'm here. The perfect ghost-hunting sidekick."

TSOTI gave her a sidelong glance, not bothering to hide the deadpan expression on his face. "Yeah, if the 'team' includes a girl who's about to fall in love with a ghost, then sure." He glanced over at the hallway, where Emmy was still happily chatting with Tango, the ghost who had somehow gotten a grip on her heart.

Violet snorted. "You know, you could just admit that you're jealous. It's fine, TSOTI. We're all friends here."

TSOTI rolled his eyes. "I'm not jealous. Just... concerned. Who in their right mind falls for a ghost?" He shook his head. "I just want to get out of here in one piece. Alive. Without any... ghost lovers."

Violet grinned, clearly enjoying pushing his buttons. "Oh, come on. You're totally jealous of the fact that Emmy's found someone to hang out with. Even if he's dead. It's cute. C'mon, Emmy may be a ghostfucker, but at least it's something."

Before TSOTI could argue back, a voice rang out from down the hall.

"Did you just call me a ghostfucker?"

TSOTI turned, and sure enough, there was Emmy, standing at the edge of the hallway with her hands on her hips, trying not to laugh. She looked at Violet, her lips twitching into a grin. The moment her eyes landed on TSOTI, the grin widened even more.

"Did you just call me a ghostfucker, Violet?" Emmy asked, leaning dramatically into the doorframe as she approached. "You know, you're just jealous because I found my ghost soulmate." She raised a hand as if to emphasize the joke.

Violet raised her hands in mock surrender. "I didn't call you a ghostfucker. I just said... you're kind of one. It's a term of endearment, really." She flashed a grin at TSOTI. "I mean, if the ghost fits..."

Emmy threw Violet a playful glare, then turned to TSOTI with a smirk. "So, what do you think, TSOTI? Should I get a T-shirt that says 'I Love a Ghost'?"

"Eh, one that says 'I'm a ghostfricker', maybe. Only if you plan to wear it as a badge of honor," TSOTI replied with his usual dry wit. "Maybe we can all get matching ones—'Ghostfricker Club: Established 2025.'"

Violet and Emmy both burst out laughing, but their amusement was cut short by a quieter voice that came from the far side of the room.

"Oh, it's on," Shade said, her arms crossed. She had been silently observing the conversation from a distance. Shade was usually quiet, but when she did speak, it was always with that underlying sarcasm that made everyone laugh. "I swear, if you two start a club, I want royalties."

Emmy grinned over at Shade, the nickname coming out easily. "Oh, don't worry, Butter. You're already an honorary member. We'll put you on the T-shirt. Founder and Investor."

"Yeah, sure, Creamie," Shade shot back with a grin, using the nickname she'd given Emmy long ago. "As long as I get a cut of the merchandise sales."

Emmy laughed, slinging an arm around Shade's shoulders. "You get 5%. Deal?"

"Deal," Shade replied with a grin. "But back to the real issue here, Creamie. I think you and Tango are getting way too cozy. You've been hanging out with that ghost like he's your new boyfriend."

"Maybe he is," Emmy said dramatically, her voice a little too smug. She shot a playful look at TSOTI. "You're just mad that I found a ghost who actually listens to me."

TSOTI scoffed. "I'm not mad. Concerned, maybe. But not mad." He glanced at Violet, who was smirking. "And definitely not jealous. I don't even know why you're so into Tango. He's a ghost, Emmy. A dead guy who—"

Before TSOTI could finish his sentence, Violet interrupted, holding up her hands. "Whoa, hold up. Did you just call her a 'ghostfucker,' and now you're trying to act like you're the voice of reason? That's rich, TSOTI." She laughed, her voice light, teasing. "So, I guess you're not jealous of the ghost situation, huh?"

"HEY- I said ghostfricker! PG, guys. Also- not even a little," TSOTI said dryly. "Just... perplexed. That's all."

"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were secretly jealous of Tango," Violet teased, giving him a wink.

Emmy caught on immediately, eyes lighting up with mischief. "Yeah, TSOTI! You want in on the ghost action too, don't you?"

Shade threw her hands up in mock defeat. "Okay, I think we've officially crossed the line from funny to unsettling. Let's not forget we're trapped in a haunted mansion, people. So maybe less on the Ghostfucker jokes and more on figuring out how to not die?"

The group fell silent for a moment, the reality of their situation setting in. Emmy seemed unfazed by Shade's comment, though. She crossed her arms and grinned at TSOTI.

"Oh, come on, Butter. Admit it. You're just mad because you're not getting your ghost fix," Emmy teased, leaning in close to Shade. "Maybe we should start a 'Hauntings Anonymous' group for TSOTI and his... ghost obsession problem."

Shade chuckled. "I'd actually pay to see that."

TSOTI threw his hands up in the air in mock exasperation. "I'm fine. Really. I'm just here to get through this night alive. So if you two are done being ridiculous," he said, rolling his eyes, "maybe we could start looking for a way out of here?"

Violet grinned at him, then shot a playful look at Emmy. "Oh, don't worry. We'll get out of here. But first, let's figure out if anyone is going to be getting a ghostly boyfriend."

Emmy winked at them both, her grin wide. "Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it."

TSOTI, shaking his head, muttered to himself as he walked off toward the next room. "I'm going to need a drink after this."

And as they followed, the distant sound of Tango's eerie chuckle echoed through the mansion, as if in agreement with TSOTI's sentiment.