When I was young, I always believed that the world is against me, shrouding me in massive darkness.

Hiding in my own shell, i was afraid to see the light, thinking that when I strike even a single move, everything would be annihilated.

Loneliness has been my constant companion. I tried to voice out everything that I kept bottled inside but no one can hear me, as if my pleading had fallen into deaf ears.... too deaf.

Im hopeless like a survivor trying to live through every inch of my miserable life. It was to go on living knowing that everything around you is making you isolated in this cruel world.

It's as if I am a nightmare, a contagious virus that causes death to people.

It hurts so much to the point that I wanted to meet the endless and magical beauty beyond the universe in between the excruciating, painful and hideous world which you can't even imagine. Death.

Defeated in my own actions, I still trusted my own withered decision. And to my unawares..

Life is really full of surprises. Up to this hour, i believe that everything is just a wind passing through the deepest pits of my soul. Everything is empty, hollow, and void.

But then reality slapped me like an angry storm. I remember what my teacher said years ago that your body reacts according to what your brain perceives. 

Perhaps, I didn't mind the people who cared for me, those who loved me and who accepted my flawed perfection and chaotic beauty. I'm selfish, right? Bottled toxic feelings of mine are exposed leading to vulnerability which brought my own downfall.
But as you learned your mistakes, something from deep inside you will lift you up....

Happiness, contentment, joy, satisfaction, these feelings made me as light as a feather as they came rushing down my veins.

Before, i was a broken and shattered like a glass but then realization hit like a bomb. It made a great impact in my deserted life. Suddenly, magic surrounded me... The one who values me most materialized to my own sight, ha! I wasted my life for nothing, busy about the people who judged me directly, face to face. Guilt overrans through me and a single sorry isn't enough to my unexplainable deed... But still they accept me, as a whole, as me again. I regret wallowing over the idea that i was all alone, not minding the people around me. It hurts the most.

But right now, I'm happy for this challenges because I learned a valuable lesson in life. I should learn to appreciate more the people that have always been there for me. I should value what i have instead.

To my upcoming pages that are not yet to be told, if ever i will encounter a person who has enveloped in depression and self-pity, I will help them as much as I could. I will make them realize that life is enchanted.

It is a mistake to waste time to isolate your self, like how I wasted mine. I will try to engrave a word that will truly imprint in their heart. Do not put a period in your life yet, do not cross the line yet... Because you might miss the luminous enigma of existence.

You, We are special with unique identities. You might feel shattered but you are not broken. Shattered, you conceptualized yourself but to the eyes of those who value you for the rest of their life and in reality, you're not.

So learn from your mistakes just as I do mine.

🐰Blu
Skyblue Shadow