Sutton

FOR A BRIEF MOMENT, I FEEL COMPLETE and utter contentment. The feeling is all-consuming, and I sigh, indulging in this rare delicacy. The moment is fleeting, though, dashed the second I blink open my eyes and am greeted to the bright sun flooding into my bedroom. It all comes rushing back to me at once. Kelly. Jensen. The ER. The fight with Kelly at the festival. The declaration of love.

I groan into my pillow, lamenting the quick exit of the contentment from seconds ago.

"Morning, baby girl. How'd you sleep?" Kelly asks in his sexy sleepy voice. He's on his side of the bed facing me. Only mere inches separate us and yet it feels like a bigger chasm somehow.

"Like the dead," I answer, rolling onto my side and scooting a little closer to his side of the bed.

He mirrors my movements and inches his body closer to me. "How's your arm?"

"Hurts."

He lifts my arm and places a delicate kiss on my wrist, cradling it gently against his chest. "How's your head?"

"Hurts."

He presses the softest kiss near the cut on my forehead, his lips lingering there as he whispers his next question, "How's your heart?"

Like the coward I am, I avoid eye contact and hide in his chest, breathing in his familiar smell. Like the bully he is, he doesn't allow me the privacy to bury my emotions. He pulls me away and combs my hair out of the way. "Baby girl?"

I sigh. "That one's harder."

"Try."

"Kinda hurts, I guess."

He winces. "Baby girl..." he starts to say but I interrupt him.

"But also kind of healed."

He raises his eyebrows in question. I fall onto my back, severing the intense connection, desperately needing a bit of space to gather my thoughts.

"Should we talk about the elephant in the room?" he asks.

"What elephant?"

Kelly laughs softly. "You know, the one where I confessed to your brother that I'm in love with you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I throw the covers over my head and groan.

He laughs again. "So you're obviously not ready yet. It's ok. We have a lot to discuss, but it can wait. Come with me to let Lexi out. We can talk at my house."

As we're dressing, I sneak glances at him. I've seen him naked more times than I can count by now, but I'm seeing him differently today.

"Kelly," I whisper, and I wait until he looks at me. "We're no longer a secret."

He grins, his whole face lighting up. And then he does something that surprises me. He whoops. I laugh and then quickly shush him. "Vivi is probably sleeping," I explain, but I have to turn away to hide my identical smile.

-

KELLY IS RIGHT. WE DO HAVE A lot to discuss. But I feel this intense urge to just sweep it all under the rug and start fresh from this point forward. I know there's no chance that he'll let that happen, though.

Lexi sits at Kelly's feet, her bushy tail twitching under her as she patiently waits for her human. The minute he lobs the tennis ball, she darts across the backyard, jumps at just the right time and catches the neon yellow ball in her mouth. We watch as the dog trots back and deposits the ball at our feet. I pluck it out of the pile of crunchy leaves, brushing off the particles that cling to the soggy ball and hold it up in a command for Lexi to sit. It takes her twice as long to listen to me as it does for Kelly, but eventually she plants her butt on the ground. I chuck the ball and watch her race after it.

We've been entertaining ourselves like this since we first arrived, avoiding any topic that will steer the conversation into dangerous territory. As Lexi trots back to us, I sigh. I can feel him eyeing me in my periphery, but I ignore him.

"Was Lexi alone all day yesterday?"

Kelly collects the discarded ball and tosses it for his dog again. "Nah. I texted my neighbor while we were at the ER and she came over to feed and let Lexi out."

I swivel my head to level him with a look. "She?"

He doesn't even attempt to hide the smug smirk on his face. "Yes, my neighbor is a she." He pauses, and I swear it's for dramatic effect because his smirk turns into a full-fledged grin. I roll my eyes and pretend to be unbothered by throwing the ball for the dog again. When he chuckles in response, obviously not buying my feigned nonchalance, I direct my glare at him.

"Does this neighbor have a name? Why have I never heard you talk about her before? And which house is it? We've created stories for practically every house on this block and you never once hinted to having a female neighbor you're friendly with."

Lexi's wet nose nudges my hand when she's ignored, the ball sitting by my feet in the grass. Without thought, I bend over to grab it and toss it halfheartedly.

"Her name is Leona. She lives right next door." Kelly points to the house that borders his, a white ranch-style house with pretty landscaping I've been admiring for months. "She recently lost her husband of 37 years, but you wouldn't know it. I swear she's more active now than she was before Burt passed away. Let's see, what else would you like to know? Are we friendly? Sure, she likes to chat my ear off about her flowers when she catches me outside. I shovel her driveway in the winter. She lets my dog out every once and again. Does that cover it?"

"I think you left out the detail where she's elderly, you jackass. You purposely tried to make me jealous, and you know it." I cross my arms over my chest and narrow my eyes at him.

He has the nerve to throw his head back and laugh, and I can't resist the urge to smack him in the stomach. He blocks my hand, capturing it in his large one. His skin is warm, the callouses from hard manual labor scratchy against my smooth skin. "It's only fair that you occasionally feel an ounce of what I feel daily, baby girl."

"Yeah, well, you don't see me causing a scene and saying mean, nasty things to you." He winces at my words, and I try to minimize it by cracking a joke. "I should get you one of those shirts with a matching mug that says, 'Sorry for what I said when I was a jealous asshole.'"

When Lexi retrieves the ball again, Kelly kicks it out of the way. The dog sulks for a few moments at her human's feet before trotting off to find a warm spot in the sun to snooze.

Kelly fidgets with my hand, his nerves showing as he lightly brushes his fingertips up and down my fingers, swirling them around my palm and brushing softly over my wrist. I guess we've finally entered the discussion phase, and I suck in a fortifying breath to brace myself.

"I was completely out of line at the festival, Sutton." He pauses, glancing up to gauge my reaction. "I shouldn't have said any of those things to you, even if I wanted to kill the guy who was openly ogling you right in front of me. I was already all up in my feelings and that just tipped me right over, but it wasn't fair to take it out on you like that. I don't even believe the things I accused you of. I know you wouldn't ever manipulate a situation where you're forcing me to out us. You're so much better than me and no doubt deserve someone way better than me. If I were a better man, I'd let you go so you could find someone in your league, but I think I've proven that I'm a selfish asshole and I have zero plans of ever letting you go."

I quiet his fidgeting hand by sandwiching it between both of mine, and I wait until his eyes lock with mine. "I won't pretend that what you said wasn't hurtful. It really pissed me off, actually. You should have heard all the arguments I had with you in my head after I stormed off. I said some really rude things to you that felt good at the time, but now I kind of regret."

Kelly chuckles softly, reclaiming possession of my hand in order to bring it to his mouth for a soft kiss. "Baby girl," he says through a laugh. "You know I can't hear whatever thoughts you yelled inside the privacy of your own head, right? Plus, I'm pretty sure I deserved every single thing you said. Plus more. Way more. In fact, why don't you just let some fly now. Get them off your chest. Hit me with your worst."

"Shut up. There's no way I'm doing that." I cross my arms over my chest, careful of my injured wrist. My defensive stance only makes him laugh again. "I'm so very glad I can amuse you so easily."

This sobers him up and he rakes his fingers through his hair in the nervous way he does. "Shit, Sutton. I'm such an asshole. If I could rewind everything back to that night when I stormed over to your house with a baseball bat—the start of our big secret—I'd do so many things differently. I feel like I've made a series of bad decisions since then."

"Nope." I shake my head definitively. "Not going to let you do that, Kelly. You can't take the blame for everything. It was my idea to keep us a secret. I am a grown ass woman. I make my own decisions. You didn't force me into anything. If there were mistakes made, we are both equally responsible. You don't get to turn this into a Shit on Kelly Fest. Were you an asshole sometimes? Yes, without a doubt. Do I wish we could have avoided certain things? Yeah, duh, obviously. But you don't get to belittle yourself. It really pisses me off when say shit like that. You're the best man I know, and you deserve so much fucking more than you apparently believe you do. So go ahead and take ownership of your shitty behavior, but don't you dare continue to put yourself down." I fix him with a serious, no-nonsense expression. "Ok?"

He nods once, his cheeks a sheepish pink. "Ok."

We're silent for a bit as the words—both said and unsaid—linger between us. Finally, Kelly turns back to face me.

"Look, Sutton," he says, reclaiming my hand. "I'm pretty sure I've been actively, like heavily, pursuing you for a while now. I'm talking years. That's how long I've been under the Sutton Spell. But all the while in complete and utter denial of the fact that I was pursuing you. I'm in deep, baby girl. And I have been for a while now. It was always inevitable. We both know this. If we're truly honest, we knew it was always a matter of when, not if. I love you, baby girl. I love being with you. I love me with you. I want to be with you out loud now. I can only imagine just how good it'll be when we aren't hiding us. Jesus, Sutton, I can't imagine not being with you. I need to be with you. I told myself I'd give you space, but I don't think I'm patient enough to wait. I'm not above begging. Please let me be with you."

"Kelly." His name is a sigh.

He steps closer to me, gingerly kissing my injured wrist before tucking it against his chest with the utmost care. When he goes to say something, I lift our hands up and press them to my mouth, copying his move. As I place a lingering kiss on his knuckles, tears leak down my cheeks without my permission. I don't bother acknowledging them, but Kelly untangles our hands, and he swipes the tears away. Cupping my face, he places a closed mouth kiss against my mouth, lingering there for an extended moment that feels both soothing and tortured.

"Baby girl," he says on an exhale and rests his forehead on mine.

"Kelly," I begin, clutching his shirt at his stomach in a tight grip. "You're right. It was always inevitable. And if you're guilty of actively pursuing me, I'm guilty of relentless flirting, encouraging your pursuit. Wanting it. I'm in deep, too, baby. So deep. I just really like you. I mean, I'm stupidly in love with you. But I like you, too. You make me laugh. And challenge me. Sometimes I do things just to piss you off because I love seeing you riled up. You call me out on my shit, though. Ground me. So yeah, I fucking love you, but I really, really just like you too."

He tilts my head back with a hand in my hair. "I really, really just like you too." Then he leans down and captures my mouth in a deep, longing kiss that steals my breath.

When we break apart, he thumbs the flushed skin of my cheeks. The golden specks in his eyes dance as he stares down at me. "Can we spend a bit more time on the part where you love me though?"

I tip my head back and laugh; and it feels good to soak in the happy feelings for once after dwelling in the sadness for a while. Then, suddenly, I scream at the top of my lungs, "I love you, Kelly Ledger!" I laugh some more when he tries to shush me.

"Always such a fucking brat." He wears a sheepish grin, and I trace it with my fingertips before going on my tippy toes to give him a few short kisses. His hands wander to my ass, locking me in place.

"I want to be with you out loud, too, Kelly," I admit, falling back onto my feet, but staying inside the confines of his arms. "Like really loud. You all possessive asshole about my outfit or some random dude. Me riling you up. Just being able to hold your hand or sit by you at Roxy's or dance with you..."

"That's not happening," he interrupts. "I don't dance."

"You'll dance with me."

"Don't get your hopes up."

"Oh yeah?" I challenge with raised eyebrows. "So you'll be ok with me dancing alone with all those men near me? Looking at me. Maybe trying to dance with me."

He glares at me, and I chuckle softly. "I think we got this conversation off track. Go back to the part where you were listing all the things you love about me. I believe you were about to list my good looks and my bedroom skills."

I laugh loudly, not holding back this time. "I was talking about doing this thing for real. No more hiding."

He pulls me in tighter, our bodies flush together. "Oh, it was always real, baby girl. Please don't ever doubt that."

"I've never doubted it. I've just been waiting for you to decide."

"Decide?"

I nod. "I've understood your need to wait because I know how important your relationship with my brother is. And it's more than just his friendship. You were worrying that Jensen would break up your little bromance and that would include losing his family, too, which means a lot to you. They're—we're—like your chosen family. Which further complicates it since they're my family, too, and if there's a rift, it also affects me. So you weren't just weighing the consequences for you but also for me. You didn't want me to be in the position to have to choose, too. So I waited while you figured it out."

"But don't you see, baby girl?" he asks, tightening his grip on me. "It has never been a choice of one or the other. It would always be both. Because if I chose you, I'd lose your brother and your family. And if I chose your brother, I'd lose you, and I'd still lose your family because I would never make you uncomfortable by hanging around your family. There wasn't an option where I'd ever get all of you. So instead of choosing and losing, I just didn't choose at all. It kept us in this prolonged state of avoiding the inevitable. But at least in that in-between land, I got to be with you. And, honestly, baby girl, I'd take you any way I can get you if the other option was nothing at all. So I didn't not choose you. I was choosing you in the only way I could figure out how to do it. But let me be clear, I did choose you. I do choose you. I will always choose you. You are my number one. Anything and everything else is second."

I give him a sweet kiss, my lips softly sweeping over his. "Ok, the answer is yes then."

"What?" His brow scrunches up in confusion.

"The answer to your question. It's yes."

"What was the question? You're going to have to help me out here, baby girl. Because I just said a lot of words, but not one of them was a question."

"You did earlier," I correct him. "And I've been thinking it over as you talked. You've been very convincing. So, yes. My answer is yes."

He tips his head back and groans. "What the fuck was the question?"

Suppressing my amusement, I say, "You said, 'Please let me be with you.' Actually, it was more of a plea than a question. You begged me is more accurate. So, fine, I guess you proved yourself enough. I'll let you be with me." Then I unleash the smirk that was threatening to spill and enjoy his irritation.

"Jesus, Sutton. You know you're being a brat on purpose. Why can't you ever just be sweet to me? Behave for one entire day."

"If you're going to be rude and grumpy, I might change my answer. Or require more begging." I lift a single brow in a dare.

He lightly circles a hand around my neck, his other arm looped around my waist with zero wiggle room. I'm imprisoned in his grip. "Too late. It's out of your hands now. I'm claiming you. You're mine. All mine and only mine."

I laugh at his strong reaction. "Took you long enough," I say before I bite his bottom lip, tugging it between my teeth. "And just for the record, you're mine. All mine and only mine."

Kelly jerks my head back and takes my mouth for a passionate kiss, his tongue swiping against mine in hungry motions. "If I didn't know any better," he says after he pulls away, breathing hard. "I'd say you were claiming me, baby girl."

"Oh I definitely am. Gonna mark you too." I bite his neck, sucking the skin into my mouth. "Right here. So all the girls know to stay the hell away."

He moans and I can feel his cock lengthen between us. "It's only fair if I get to mark you, too, then." He sucks the spot by my ear and then he nibbles his way down my neck. Pushing my sweater down enough to reveal my cleavage, he sucks by my tits. "Everywhere."