Sutton

WITH OUR HANDS TIGHTLY CLASPED TOGETHER, we enter the living room. Jensen and Teddy are camped out on one end of the couch, Teddy snuggled up into my brother's side; and Vivi sits on the opposite side, bent over the phone in her hand.

Time stands still for a moment as if Zach Morris issued a time-out and we're all byproducts paused in the scene.

It's in this suspended moment that I notice a few things. My brother's tired, almost defeated disposition as he fakes a relaxed position on the couch—legs sprawled out in front of him, arm draped around his girlfriend's shoulders, head rested against the back of the couch. It's the subtle tapping of his fingers against the arm of the couch that gives him away, his whole act a charade.

I also notice that Teddy's not buying her boyfriend's performance. Her own body language is forced as if she's playing along with Jensen's counterfeit calmness, but she's primed and ready to pivot the minute the mood shifts.

Vivi looks between both sets of couples as if watching a tennis match, but she doesn't bother masking her anxiety. She pulls her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees, eyes ping-ponging from right to left in anticipation of the next move on the court.

The inventory of the room takes nanoseconds, and it's like someone hits the play button: the scene suddenly explodes into action.

Jensen's body tenses the second he sees us, his eyes zeroing in on our joined hands; and in the space of a breath, he's off the couch and crossing the room with intention.

Kelly drops my hand, stepping in front of me while simultaneously moving me aside—out of harm's way, I realize. I rush to step between the two men, my arms held out in front of me in the universal sign for stop. I begin to speak but my words are replaced by a shriek as Kelly's strong arm hooks around my waist from behind and I'm lifted out of the way.

I jerk out of his grasp and whip around to face him, but before I get a chance to talk, he's in my space, his fingers gripping my chin. "You don't ever step in the middle of a fight, baby girl. You're going to get hurt."

"He was going to hit you, Kelly," I spit out, trying to wrangle myself free of his hold. Kelly drops his hands but doesn't move out of my space.

"I know. And I deserve it."

"No you don't! That's bullshit, Kelly." I step around my boyfriend and angrily point at my brother as I declare, "That's bullshit, Jensen!"

Teddy has joined Jensen, standing next to him with a hand on his bicep as if her light touch alone could prevent him from doing something stupid. He seems oblivious to it all, though, his laser focus directed at my boyfriend. "So it's true then?"

Kelly straightens, his body taut as he faces his best friend. He answers with a single nod. Then he follows it up with a single word: "Yes."

When Jensen curses and takes a step in our direction, Teddy shifts her body so that she blocks any further forward movements, her small frame a barricade. He wraps an arm around her from behind, settling his open palm against her stomach, allowing his girlfriend to play interference. His intense gaze never strays from Kelly, though.

"She was the secret girl you hid from me that day in your house?" Jensen asks. Kelly nods. "And when we saw you two in Maybury? That wasn't some random meetup?" Kelly shakes his head. "Fuck," Jensen growls, burying his face in his girlfriend's braid.

A few beats pass while Jensen struggles to compose himself. Then he lifts his head, looking between me and Kelly. I read the confusion and betrayal and anger on his face. "That day at the bar when you confessed there was a girl but it was complicated and I told you to uncomplicate it. That was Sutton? My fucking sister?"

He nods. "But we weren't together then."

This explanation only riles Jensen up more. He takes a few steps away from Teddy and begins pacing behind her, grumbling undecipherable nonsense to himself.

"Jensen," I finally say when the moment has gone on too long. I take a few steps toward my brother, but Kelly stops my movements with a light grip on my elbow, tugging me back toward him. I narrow my eyes at him in warning over my shoulder and weasel out of his hold as I continue to address my brother. "I understand you're upset. You have every right to be upset. But you're being ridiculous right now. We're grown ass adults. We get to be with whoever we want. Even if that pisses you off."

Jensen halts his pacing, his gaze zeroed in on me. Before he has a chance to rebut my claims, though, Teddy butts in. "That's true, Sutton. But I think we can all agree that Kelly owed Jensen a conversation. At the very least—the bare minimum—Jensen was owed a conversation." She directs a pointed look at my boyfriend, the two of them locked in a nonverbal conversation I can only assume means they've discussed this very topic already.

Kelly sighs, his body visibly heaving. "Teddy's right. Jensen was owed much more than a conversation. J," he addresses his best friend, waiting for him to acknowledge him. "Jensen," he tries again; and, finally, Jensen looks at him, not bothering to hide the emotions openly displayed on his face. Kelly sees this and winces. "Fuck."

Jensen continues to silently stare at him, not giving him an inch. Kelly scrubs a hand down his face before straightening his posture as if bracing himself. "I've always looked out for Sutton," he begins, his voice strained. My normally composed boyfriend is rattled, wearing his vulnerability so freely that I want to wrap him up and protect him from this confrontation. I squeeze his hand once, hooking our pinkies together before stepping aside and allowing the two men in my life their overdue moment.

"I've always looked out for her," he continues, "just like I promised you, J. Always protected her. As a big brother," he clarifies that important point. "I didn't mean for that to change. Didn't want it to. But Sutton is a girl and I'm human and surely you've seen how beautiful she is. I tried, J. You have to know I tried not to see her that way. But don't tell me you can't relate. How long did you fight your feelings for Teddy? Did it work when you tried to pretend she was just your friend? I tried, J. I really did. But, fuck, I couldn't help it. It's Sutton, you know? She's my Teddy."

He takes a shuddering breath and shakes his head as if he's not explaining himself correctly. He starts again. "Jensen, you're a brother to me. I know I crossed a line. And it's been tearing me up. I hate it. I wanted to tell you. I've been trying to figure out how without it ending up one of two ways—and either option isn't ok with me. One, you kick my ass and demand I stop seeing your sister. Or two, you kick my ass and walk away when I refuse to stop seeing your sister. I can't choose, J. But if you make me, it'll be her. I'll choose Sutton."

"I've never asked anything from you," Jensen finally says, his tone harsh and unforgiving, "but to stay away from my sister."

"You had no right, Jensen!" I interrupt my brother before he can gain momentum. I've been on the receiving end of his lectures countless times, and I'm not in the mood for it. "Yeah, I get bro code is a real thing. But how many times did you have to remind him, warn him to stay away from me? Why did you have to tell him so many times, J? Think about it. You saw there was more to it. More than just a puppy dog crush on my end. More than just a game Kelly and I played where we flirted that line. There was more there, and you knew it. You knew, and you still kept playing the bro code card."

Jensen softens his expression as if my words have sunk in. "He's my best friend, Sutton. What happens if you break up? Think about it, Sutton."

"You didn't see Kelly butting in when you started things with Teddy. If you break up, doesn't that make your friend trio weird? In fact, Kelly supported you and encouraged you to be with Teddy."

Jensen sighs. "That's not exactly the same thing, Sutton."

"Teddy has always been more J's anyway," Kelly pipes in, agreeing with my brother.

Jensen spares him a look before focusing his attention back on me. "Look, Sutton. Maybe it wasn't my place. And maybe it was selfish. But it wasn't like I was trying to be a dick about it. I was trying to protect everyone involved. I know what will happen if things go south. It'll be messy. So fucking messy."

Raking a hand through his hair, he resumes his pacing, and we wait, tracking his movements. We all know him well enough to know he's processing, and we give him the space to collect his thoughts.

"You're right," he finally says, halting his steps. "You're right, Sutton. I did see there was more between you two. That's why I kept issuing the warning to stay away from you. But I didn't realize it was serious. I thought it was just some sort of attraction, a curiosity."

I open my mouth to dispute this, but he puts his hand up to stop me. "I can see it's more, Sutton. You don't need to tell me. I've seen it. The way he stepped in and cared for you when you were hurt today. Jesus, anyone could see the genuine love there. And the way he protected you when you stupidly jumped in between us just now. Any stranger on the street could tell how he feels about you. You don't need to defend your relationship to me. It's really fucking clear. I mean, he showed up at my house late one night just to tell me you were struggling about that stuff with mom. I should have seen it then. Hell, I should have seen it from the beginning. I'm pretty sure I've been actively not seeing it on purpose. And fuck," he stops himself as he risks a glance at his best friend.

Kelly's jaw is set as if he's bracing himself, and his eyes are glistening like he's working to staunch the emotions from overflowing into visible tears. This isn't their relationship. They don't share their feelings like this. They've wandered into unchartered territory and both men are floundering.

"Listen, Kelly," Jensen says, finally addressing his friend. "It was never about you not being good enough for my sister. You're the best man I know. You've been my best friend all these years for a reason. If I had to custom pick someone for my baby sister, it would be you. But I know how you feel about my family. We're like a surrogate family to you. You're part of our family. If something goes wrong with you and Sutton, I worry about you. Sutton will still have a family. But will you?"

"I mean," Kelly says on an exhale. "You pretty much just summed up all my reservations. Why I've been such a pussy about coming clean. I worry about that, too. It's my biggest concern. But not so much for myself. More for your sister. I don't want to ever put her in a position where she's in the middle or uncomfortable in a situation if, God forbid, we did break up and I'm the jerk still loitering around the periphery of your family. I'm well aware of the risks, J. And I fucking hate it."

He nods, considering my words. "But you did it anyway, so I assume it's safe to say you love my sister."

"Well, shit," Kelly says on a nervous laugh. "That's not exactly something we've discussed yet."

"But you do." Jensen says this as a statement of fact, not a question.

"Of course I fucking do! Why else would I risk everything?"

His words shoot through me like a rogue bullet, and I barely have time to register them before his heated gaze is on me. I'm grateful my brother continues the conversation, forcing Kelly's attention elsewhere, because I need a moment to compose myself, school my expression. I tuck the confession away for later to dissect when I'm alone.

"I'm still pissed at you," he says, his body sagging as if releasing the tension somehow drained him.

Kelly nods. "Noted."

"And I expect you to treat her right."

"Of course."

"Because next time the women won't be able to save you."

"I fully expected a black eye, J. A bloody nose." He laughs, ducking his head. "But I shouldn't be surprised our tiny bodyguards stepped in. They're both stubborn as shit. These teeny tiny brats with big personalities."

"Tell me about it."

They share an amused look, fighting the smiles threatening to break free.

"Awww," Teddy sings, clapping her hands together at her chest. "Isn't this moment sweet? They had their first fight. And now they're pretending not to be affected by it."

"Maybe they should hug it out," I suggest.

"Fuck off," Jensen grumbles, but his whole demeanor is relaxed—a complete 360-degree change from earlier.

The atmosphere in the room has shifted, the tension lifted and faded away, replaced by this palpable awkwardness, none of us knowing how to move forward. It's then that I notice that Vivi is no longer on the couch, and I have no idea when she slipped away.

It's Teddy who suggests we sleep on it, reconvene another day when we all have some much-needed space; and when I step into my brother's arms for a goodbye hug, I feel him squeeze me just a little bit tighter than usual. I go up on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "I love you, Jensen. Please forgive him."

When he pulls out of the hug, he playfully yanks on my hair, the move reminiscent of our childhood years. "It's already done."

Then they're gone, and it's just me and Kelly alone in the living room.

We turn to each other at the same time and nervous giggles erupt out of me before I have a chance to stop them. I slap a hand over my mouth. Kelly grins at me and I roll my eyes.

"I'm tired, Kell. I need to crash. How about we call it a night and we can meet up tomorrow to..."

"There's no fucking way I'm leaving you tonight," he interrupts, his voice gruff, angry.

"It's been a long day, and I have a headache, and my wrist hurts and I'm just bone fucking tired," I try to explain, but he isn't accepting my no.

"Sutton." My name on his lips gives me shivers and I cross my arms over my chest to control my reaction. He takes a few steps until he's standing in front of me. "This has been the longest, shittiest day. The last thing I want to do is extend it by arguing with you. But if you think there is any fucking way I'm leaving you tonight, you're out of your damn mind. I'm not going home to worry about you. I'm not leaving you alone to cry yourself to sleep. We're getting in your bed, pulling the covers up around us and I'm holding you in my fucking arms. We don't have to talk. We don't have to solve anything tonight. We don't have to hash out the shitty day. You can be mad at me and be confused and be whatever else you're feeling. But you'll be doing it tucked in bed with me. Ok? Should we go do that now? In your bed? Yeah?"

I try to suppress the smile I can feel perking up my lips. "You're kind of an overbearing asshole sometimes. You know that, right?"

He spins me around to point me in the direction of the hallway and then presses his body into mine from behind, wrapping an arm around my waist, rubbing his nose along my neck. I can't hide how my body reacts this time. "Let's just go to bed already, baby girl. You really scared me today and I swear I'm still not breathing right, and I just need to hold you and know you're ok."

"I'm sorry about that, Kelly. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I don't need your sorries, Sutton. I just need you to take care of yourself. Otherwise, I'm going to hover and worry. I've been told I'm an overbearing asshole." He pats my butt. "Now get moving. It's bedtime, baby girl."