Sutton

KELLY GRABS MY HAND THE MINUTE HE rounds his truck and joins me on the sidewalk. I shudder when the warmth of his skin envelops me, the temperature difference obvious in the cool fall night. The closer the calendar edges to October, the chillier the evenings are.

He absently swipes his thumb on the underside of my wrist as he leads me down the sidewalk, the crunching of leaves underfoot loud on the quiet city street. I purposefully slow my steps, falling slightly behind him, my eyes taking In his tall, lean form, appreciating the way the jeans and navy Henley sculpt the body I've memorized over the past few weeks.

With a quick glance over his shoulder, he smirks at me, but he doesn't call me out. "Come on, baby girl." He tugs me up next to him by our joined hands."Let's go see about a tattoo."

It's our date night. Our first official date. As promised, we're in Maybury away from the prying eyes of our small community. He's fulfilling his promise to take me with him for his next tattoo, allowing me to observe in order to determine whether it's something I'd be interested in. Honestly, I've always wavered back and forth on the idea, leaning slightly toward the "chicken shit"side of the scale.

But I love tattoos. Especially on Kelly. He wears tattoos well. I'm kind of hoping I can wear them well, too.

When we come upon the small shop located on the corner of the block, I pull him to a stop before he can reach for the door. He turns to face me, his brow crinkled in question.

"What's our story? For Sully?"

He shakes his head. "No story. He's too smart. He'll see right through us."

"So..."

"Just be us." He smiles down at me, the expression lighting up his face and speaking volumes on how he feels about that statement. To be out in public without hiding — to just be us. I return his smile, squeezing his hand for emphasis.

He must read the hesitancy, though, because he adds, "It's Sully. He doesn't give a shit."

"How can you tell? He could give a shit. He could give lots of shits. He's just been hiding it under that tough facade." After thinking over my statement, I shake my head. "Nah. It's Sully. He definitely gives zero shits."

I press my body into Kelly's, snagging my free hand behind his neck to yank his head down to me. "In that case," I whisper right before I take his lips with mine.

In response, Kelly circles his arms around me, hauling me up until I'm teetering on my tip toes to reach him. He doesn't hold back, throwing everything into the kiss that feels like lasts an eternity but somehow only mere minutes pass.

"Ok," I exhale against his lips. "That's not awful."

"What?" His tone is incredulous as he pulls back and I slowly slide down his body until I'm standing flat-footed again. "The kiss wasn't awful?"

"Shut up. The kiss was fire and you know it. I'm talking about the PDA. I don't hate it."

"The PDA?" He dips his head to steal another kiss, his hand wandering to cup my ass this time.

I swat his hand away and he chuckles. "Behave."

"No. I don't want to. I finally get to show off my girl to the world. You're not going to ruin that for me." He runs his hands down my body, palming my butt, before traveling back up to frame my face. Although his actions are possessive and defiant, the way he looks at me is the exact opposite. It's sweet, oozing with tenderness. His thumbs caress my cheeks once, twice, and then he lets go to reclaim my hand.

"Let's go." He nods toward the door. And I follow him inside.

The tattoo parlor is dimly lit, and I blink to adjust to the new surroundings, swiveling my head to take in the various drawings framed on the wall. The stories they could tell. I wonder whose bodies the artwork adorns, my mindworking overtime to invent people and scenarios to match the tattoos.

Before I can sink too far into my imagination, Kelly's voice is a whispered grumble in my ear. "This way, baby girl."

I follow him across the shop, his hand a strong tether, until we come to an open doorway and step just inside the small room.

Sully looks up from his perch on a stool before a messy desk, his eyes snagging on our conjoined hands. "That's a thing?" His raised eyebrows are neither judgy nor amused. Simply quizzical.

"We're not making a big deal of it." Kelly's voice is firm, a deep baritone."Sutton here wants to observe. See if maybe it's something she's interested in."

Sully stands to his full height, and I adjust my neck to look up at him. "Is that right?"

He studies me, and I suddenly wish I was versed in the language of my foster brother. It's something I've never managed to master. He's aloof. Distant. Hard to read.

I simply nod. Leave it at that.

Sully pulls on a pair of black gloves and then busies himself preparing his station. Kelly perches on the chair in the middle of the room, pushing up the sleeve of his left arm.

"So..." I hesitate, feeling slightly anxious as I lean against the wall. "What are you getting today?"

Sully peeks over his shoulder at the question, looking between me and Kelly before returning his attention to his task. Kelly smirks at me from his perch on the chair. "Don't worry about it, baby girl."

"What are you up to, Kelly?"

Before he can answer, Sully scoots over to him and I watch as the two men inspect Kelly's inner wrist and discuss location and size. Sully pulls out a disposal razor and shaves a small portion of Kelly's wrist. Then he sterilizes the skin with rubbing alcohol. Finally, he retrieves what I assume is the tattoo gun but it resembles a girthy pen more than a gun; and he pours a small portion of blank ink into a tiny plastic cup.

Kelly glances over at me as Sully poises the tattoo machine over his arm, wearing that signature sexy smirk. "Ready, baby girl?"

"Wait. Don't you need a stencil or are you just free balling today?" I take a few steps closer to the men, wanting a closer vantage point.

"Nah. Not today. This one's simple. And quick. It'll only take a few minutes." Sully looks to Kelly, and when he nods, Sully begins.

I thought it would be louder, but the low buzzing sound is a lot less intimidating than I imagined. I ping pong from watching the tattoo in process and Kelly's face. I want to see how it's done, but I'm equally interested in my boyfriend's reaction.

Kelly isn't watching Sully. He isn't looking anywhere near his wrist. His eyes are locked on me. He shows no signs of distress, as if a needle prodding into his arm is no big thing.

"Doesn't it hurt?" I whisper hoarsely, a smidge embarrassed of Sully hearing the question.

"No, baby girl. I barely feel it. But for bigger ones, Sully will use a numbing cream. It really takes the sting away."

"But today is not a big one?" I slide up right beside him to get a better look. I can't figure out what Sully is inking onto Kelly's wrist.

"You could call this one ongoing."

"Ongoing?"

The line of questioning is interrupted when Sully discards the tattoo gun and wipes down the newly tatted skin, blotting it dry.

Tilting my head to the side, I peer at the black ink, trying to puzzle out what I'm looking at. It's two rows of small circles, or more like dots—3  dots total. The first row has a single dot; the second row has two dots, one stacked on top of the other.

I meet Kelly's gaze. "I'm lost. What am I missing?"

"It's not finished. It's ongoing."

Sully reappears with this clear adhesive-looking sticker and smooths it over the new tattoo. Looking between the two of us, he grunts, "There's no reason for it to be ongoing. I could finish it up in less than 15 minutes. Your man here is being a dipshit."

"Kelly," I whine. "Why are you being weird about this? Why the secrecy?"

"Don't worry about it," he repeats his dismissal from earlier.

I turn to Sully, who's actively ignoring us while he cleans up his work area."He's being weird, right?" I ask his back.

He replies by shrugging his shoulders.

I pick up Kelly's arm, lowering my head to get a closer inspection of the tattoo. When it still makes no sense, I sigh, resigned to be left in the dark while the tattoo is "ongoing."

"About how long will it be ongoing before it's complete?"

Reclaiming his arm, he wraps it around my waist to pull me in between his legs. Then he smirks.

I roll my eyes. "Let me guess. Don't worry about it."

He kisses my nose. "Exactly. Now are you ready to eat?"

As I'm pulling him to his feet, Sully turns to face us. "I'm assuming this thing," he gestures to our intertwined hands, "isn't a thing?"

"It's a fucking thing," Kelly grunts, his tone defensive.

"A public thing, though?"

"Fuck off, Sully. Pretty sure you pushed me to do exactly this." He wraps an arm around my shoulders, tucking me tight against him. It feels protective. And nice. It feels nice to be protected by him. Even if it's against my harmless foster brother that probably doesn't give a shit either way.

"Pretty sure I said Jensen would get over it. But for him to get over it, he'd first need to know about it. Pretty sure that's how that works." Sully leans against the counter, folding his arms over his chest. He wears a smug grin on his face, the only sign he's not fully invested in this confrontation.

"And I'm pretty fucking sure it's none of your business. But, for what it's worth, it's real. This is real." He moves his hand down my body, resting his big palm against my hip. "And it's temporary. The hiding part. We won't hide forever."

Kelly sounds defensive but also something else? Maybe frustration? Or shame? Is he embarrassed about our situation? I can't get a good read on him.

"I know what it is," Sully says in that bored, dry tone of his. "And I know you're not stupid, Ledger."

Now it's my turn to look between the two men. "Ok," I say, urging Kelly toward the door. "Cool. We all know what this is. So let's go. Yeah?"

Kelly pulls away from me and leans toward Sully, where they do this choreographed hand clap, grab thing that ends with a brief chest bump. It's over so fast that I barely register the boys have made up, if they were ever mad to begin with? It's unclear. But Kelly gently pushes me out the door with his hands on my back, and we're leaving before I get chance to say goodbye.

It's dark when we step outside. Day turned to night in the brief period we were inside the tattoo parlor. Kelly tucks me under his arm again as we walk down the sidewalk. It feels so good that I momentarily forget I have questions.

"So," I say when we stop beside the passenger side of his truck. "What was all that? Is Sully cool? Pissed? I'm pretty sure you guys had a whole secret conversation in there that I'm still trying to decode."

"It's simple, Sutton. You know exactly what that was." He pushes me against the side of the truck, crowding me with his hands on either side of my hips. "Think about it."

As I gaze into his eyes, the gold twinkling in the street lamps, I do as he says: I think about it.

"Sully called us out. You got defensive. Maybe even embarrassed? Sully made it known what he thinks you need to do. Which is talk to Jensen. Obviously. Then you bro hugged it out. Which I'm pretty sure is code for, 'Although I think you're an idiot, I'll keep my trap shut and not sell you out.' Yeah?"

Kelly chuckles. "Yeah. Pretty much."

I duck my head, unsure how to approach the subject niggling me. Was he really embarrassed?

"Sutton." His voice is a low baritone. Calm. Warm. "If you sensed embarrassment on my part, it's not how you probably think. If there's any level of embarrassment, it's directed at me. I don't like hiding this. Us. I hate not being honest. And I don't want you to think I'm 100% ok with this. I'm not ok with it. I hate it. I think about telling Jensen at least 10 times a day. I've had whole conversations with him in my head. None of them end well. Honestly, I'm nervous as shit about his reaction. He's always been clear about this, Sutton. He's told me so many times to stay away from you."

I circle my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest. "I know," I say, the words coming out as breathy sighs.

He combs his fingers through my hair a few times before laying his cheek atop my head, his arms hugging me tight to his body. "What do we do, baby girl?"

"I don't know, Kelly." I rise onto my tippy toes to capture his mouth in a soft kiss, keeping my balance with an arm around his neck. I wish I knew. Actually,I wish we could fast forward to the future where we figured it out, rode the waves until we found ourselves on the other side.

Except I don't want to wish away any time with Kelly either. We'll just have to sludge through it until we figure out our way through to the other side.