Sutton

I TUCK MY HANDS UNDER THE SLEEVES of my chunky knit sweater to ward off the chill in the air as I wander along the displays of colorful mums, but my mind is far away from the flowers or my job. It's time for my scheduled freakout, and I've chosen the mums display as the destination of said spiraling thoughts.

When I notice a woman lurking in my periphery, I subconsciously tug on the collar of my sweater checking for the millionth time that it covers the purplish discoloring on my neck that I couldn't completely conceal with makeup.

Damn him, I cuss under my breath, reminding myself yet again that I need to tell him off for marking me in such a visible spot.

The woman's head pops up from her perusal of a pot of yellow mums and it feels like her eyes zero straight in on my neck. I turtle my head into the collar of the sweater, allowing my hair to cascade around me like a cloak.

After notifying my employees of The Flower Shop that I'm taking my morning break, I scurry away to a private nook of the farm I like to hide in. The old red oak tree shelters me from prying eyes, and I take a moment to admire the changing leaves. A handful of dull green leaves still hang on while an invasion of red overtakes the majority.

Leaning against the tree trunk, I stare at the ground, my white shoes a stark contrast to the blanket of dewy red leaves, as I try to process the bombardment of thoughts and emotions running rampant through me.

It's hard to think around Kelly. Especially when he's looking at me with those intense eyes that feel like they're a laser beam straight to my innermost thoughts, my brain working overtime to throw up a mental shield as if he could actually read my mind. And when he touches me? I have no hope of forming a coherent thought when those big, rough hands are on me.

But, shit, I need to get these thoughts under control so I can get a grip. I'm kind of freaking out right now and I know I won't be able to hide my state of mind from anyone, especially my nosey family.

I yank on the collar of my sweater again, my annoyance over the hickey taking center stage in my emotional breakdown. It's bad enough I have to try to conceal my thoughts from being broadcast all over my traitorous face without also having to hide my secret boyfriend's mark on my body.

Pulling my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans, I quickly compose a text to the person responsible for my anguish.

ME: Just to be perfectly clear, I am not happy with you right now. Actually, I'm kinda pissed. Nope. I'm really pissed. You are on my shit list. You owe me an apology. Like a really big, huge one.

I feel a bit better after releasing those emotions, so I decide to keep going.

ME: I mean, the nerve! For someone who wants to keep this a secret, you sure have no problem marking me like a prized possession. Now I'm here all up in my head freaking the fuck out. And you're there probably all proud and smug with no worries at all. I mean, seriously, what the hell?

ME: So, yeah, you owe me a really big, huge apology. Like the biggest. I won't accept anything less than the biggest apology ever.

As the minutes stretch on, I relax against the tree, allowing my tense nerves to ease. My breathing returns to normal, my heart finally returning to a rate that doesn't feel like it'll beat right out of my chest. Apparently, I just needed to tell off my boyfriend.

Just as I'm about to push off the tree and return to work, my phone pings in my hand. Kelly has returned my texts. It's just two words. Two infuriating words. As I read and reread the words, I can feel my heart rate increasing again.

KELLY: Baby girl.

ME: Don't baby girl me. That's hardly an apology.

KELLY: I wish I was there. A pissed off Sutton is hot.

ME: You're on my shit list.

KELLY: I'm sure I can find my way off it. I know some things you like.

ME: Hard to do those things when you'll never be allowed close enough to me to do them ever again.

KELLY: Meet me for lunch and I'll apologize the right way.

ME: Can't. Working through lunch. We had a last minute order come in.

KELLY: Come to my house for supper tonight then.

ME: Can't. I promised Vivi I'd come home tonight so we can talk.

KELLY: You're killing me, baby girl. How do you expect me to go all day without seeing you?

ME: Serves you right. Feels like the perfect punishment for you branding me like cattle.

KELLY: Baby girl.

ME: *GIF of Kelly from The Office signing the letters W and L before slashing finger across her throat*

KELLY: *GIF of kitty giving sad eyes*

ME: Cute kitties won't work on me. You'll need to do better than that.

KELLY: I need to see you. Come by the flip after work. Just for a few minutes. Please. I'll make it up to you.

ME: No promises.

KELLY: You'll come, baby girl.

ME: I already told you that you're not the boss of me.

KELLY: And I told you that I most definitely am the boss of you. The mayor, in fact.

ME: *peace out emoji*

-

I SPOT KELLY THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD of my car as he walks out of the front door of the house he's currently flipping. He leans against a post on the porch, his lean body on display as I step out of my car and walk toward him. His eyes drink me in, and I resist the urge to duck under his perusal, my body alight in goosebumps.

Since I'm still upset with him, I stop at the bottom of the stairs, gazing up at him with narrowed eyes. Before I get the chance to demand an apology yet again, he swiftly descends the few steps and grabs my wrist, tugging me into motion behind him as he leads me into the house.

As soon as the door is closed, he pushes me against it and without a single word said between us, he takes my mouth in a bruising kiss. It's futile to resist him, even to prove a point, so I don't even try, but the moment I remove his worn baseball hat from his head for better access, he pulls away.

With a breathy voice, he finally speaks. "Thanks for stopping by, baby girl. I just needed to do that quick. I've been thinking about it all damn day."

"Oh yeah? Because I've been thinking about you all damn day, too, but for much different reasons."

He takes the hat from me and slides it on his head backwards, a bunch of dark hairs sticking out from underneath it. It's hard to be mad at him when he looks so yummy, and he seems to read my thoughts if the smirk he wears is any indication.

"Still salty, I see."

"I'm still waiting for my apology."

He huffs a laugh, but instead of indulging me, he brushes my hair over my shoulders and pushes my sweater down to expose my skin. His long fingers trace the mark on my neck just long enough to ignite goosebumps before he lowers his head and replaces his fingers with his tongue. I gasp with a shudder, and he laughs against my neck before placing feather-light kisses on my skin. As soon as I feel him suck the skin between his teeth, I shove him away, taking a few steps out of his reach.

"Kelly!" I scream.

He doesn't allow me to get far, though, tugging me so my back is pressed into his front. "I know you want me to be sorry, baby girl, but I don't want to lie to you. I really fucking love my marks on you." His words are spoken near my ear and the heat of his breath slithers down my neck, and I shiver in his arms.

"Then do it where no one can see, you caveman." My voice isn't nearly as stern as I'd like it, the warning falling flat.

"Next time. I promise. No more visible marks." He trails kisses down my neck, his strong arms locking me in place against him. "Can you please forgive me so we can makeup before you abandon me for the night?"

His comment makes me laugh. "Who knew you were such a clingy baby?"

"I blame you. It's your fault for being so addictive. I've never been clingy before."

With this admission, I turn in his arms, standing on my tip toes and using his shoulders for support as I take his lips, sweeping my tongue into his mouth with shallow thrusts. I trail kisses along his jaw before falling back onto my heels. "I guess I can forgive you. This time."

Kelly smiles at me while dusting his thumb across my lower lip, then presses his lips to mine one final time before pulling away and walking me back out of the house and to my car.

"Be good, baby girl," he says before closing my car door. He stands there watching me as I drive away.

-

HOLDING THE HAIRBRUSH UP TO MY MOUTH in front of the bathroom mirror, I sing along to the music blaring through my Bluetooth speaker. "What's going on, on the floor? I love this record, baby, but I can't see straight anymore. Keep it cool, what's the name of this club? I can't remember, but it's all right, all right."

"Lady Gaga, huh? You're hyping yourself up for tonight, I see."

The voice scares me, and I screech as I spin around and toss the brush at my sister. Vivi ducks before the brush smacks her in the face.

"Jesus, Viv! You can't scare a girl like that!"

We stare at each other for a few beats and then burst into laughter. Vivi picks up the brush and hands it to me. "Your microphone."

I take the brush and smack her lightly with it. "Shut it."

She tilts her head as she inspects me, and I follow her eyes down my body. My outfit is a bit tame for our usual Friday night at Roxy's, and I know she's noticing the difference. Before she has a chance to say anything, I wave her off and return my attention to the mirror. "Don't start, Viv. I already know what you're going to say."

"I didn't say anything," she says with her hands thrown up defensively. "But if I were going to say something, it would definitely be something about how your secret boyfriend's influence is already infiltrating your wardrobe."

I glare at her reflection in the mirror. "If I were going to respond to your non-comment, it would definitely be something about how you can mind your biz."

She chuckles as she slowly backs away. "I guess someone doesn't feel like getting covered up in a shirt tonight. I can only imagine how possessive Kelly is now that he actually has some sort of claim on you."

I throw her the bird over my shoulder. Glancing at my outfit again—a tight pair of jeans and a strapless cropped top—I sigh. I'm embarrassed to admit how long it took me to get dressed tonight, how many outfits I tried on only to immediately veto them, Kelly's voice whispering in my ear while I stared at the outfits in the mirror. I conducted several mental arguments with him about my clothes before finally settling on something in the middle of what I'd typically show up in and what he'd deem acceptable.

"Whatever," I mumble to myself as I unplug my straightener and curling iron before leaving the bathroom. I don't have any more energy to give this topic. In fact, I'm sick of the endless cycle of my thoughts this week. I go from ridiculously smitten to obnoxiously anxious and back again, over and over. My brain is exhausted from the constant exercise of trying to make sense of this new turn of events in my life.

I am with Kelly. He is my boyfriend. The boy I've had a crush on my whole life is no longer just a fantasy. I get to kiss him. And be with him. He's a bit obsessed with me, which makes the whole scenario that much more exciting and scary, which is so confusing. Plus, oh yeah, it's a secret. On top of trying to figure out these conflicting emotions, I also have to pretend they don't exist. We've all seen my face. It tells all my secrets.

Because of this, I've been semi-avoiding Kelly, dodging his invitations to stay overnight at his house with flimsy excuses. We've met up briefly every day this week, with one long lunch break on Wednesday, which was more frenzied removal of clothes than actual eating. Otherwise, it's been mostly text marathons and quick video chats before bed.

I'm on emotional overload and I need a break from my own brain.

"You ready?" Vivi yells from the living room.

I follow her out of the house and crawl into the passenger side of her car. As soon as she starts it, Justin Timberlake's voice blasts out of the speakers. She turns down the volume before backing out of the driveway.

"So," she says as she comes to a stop at the intersection, the blinker loud in the quiet vehicle. "Should I plan on you coming home with me tonight or..."

I flip the visor down to look at myself in the mirror a final time, nerves fluttering in my belly. "Probably the other option."

"So you're done avoiding your secret lover?" She giggles at her own joke.

I sigh, not in the mood for this conversation. "I'm taking a much-needed brain-break tonight, Viv. How about we revisit this on Sunday. Or never, actually."

"Been overthinking things, huh?"

"That's an understatement."

Vivi pulls into the parking lot of the bar and circles around until she finds a spot. Judging by the full parking lot, Roxy's is already busy. We typically show up later than our family and friends, toddling in once the noise level breaches the volume where it's nearly impossible to conduct a conversation without shouting.

Once Vivi kills the engine and pockets her keys, she turns to me. "Just have fun, Sutton. You're doing what you always do when things are big and scary—trying to make sense of things. Instead, try something new. Just go with it."

"This coming from you is pretty rich. You make pros and cons lists to decide just about everything in your life. Is it really so bad that I'm taking things slow while I wrap my head around everything? It's barely been a week."

"No, it's not bad, Sutton. But you want this. You've always wanted this. What is there to think about? Unless you mean the part where you're keeping it a secret? Then, yeah, you should definitely reconsider that. I've already told you this is like a ticking time bomb. Tick, tick, boom." She gestures a big bang with her hands as she mimics a bomb exploding.

"Remind me never to come to you for a heart-to-heart," I tell my sister as I open the door to climb out of the car. I glare at her above the car as she steps out right behind me. "You suck at this."

She laughs, walking around the car to join me. Looping her arm through mine, we walk through the parking lot. "Just because you don't appreciate my honesty, doesn't mean I suck at it. Would you rather I lie and be blindly supportive without at least issuing a warning? Because if so, you've come to the wrong sister."

The door to the bar opens, the loud music filtering out into the quiet parking lot. When the man spots us approaching, he holds the door open for us. Once inside, the volume surrounds us, and I pause just inside the door to get my bearings.

Holding Vivi's arm to pin her in place, I speak loudly into her ear, "I appreciate your honesty, Viv. I'll always want that over fake BS, ok? I'm just nervous."

My sister studies me for a few beats and then squeezes my hand. "Think less."

"That's your advice?" I laugh, tugging her into motion as we cross the busy bar to our informally claimed spot in the corner.

"Yes!" she yells over the music. "Rest your brain and just have fun tonight!"

I grin at her over my shoulder, and I mouth, "Ok." She grins back at me, and I laugh, catching the infectious vibe of the party music pumping into the crowded bar.

The laugh falters and the grin slowly fades as soon as we finally make our way to the high top tables where our family and friends sit, the nerves returning in full force the moment my eyes lock with the piercing hazel ones of my boyfriend. I gulp when he blatantly inspects me from head to toe while perched on a stool, his hand cupping a glass half full of beer. When his eyes find mine again, they're narrowed into slits, his displeasure obvious on his face.

Ignoring him, I crawl onto a stool on the opposite end of the table from Kelly, immediately engaging Rylie in a conversation about her outfit. A few minutes later, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I glance up to find Kelly glaring expectantly at me. When I don't retrieve my phone to check my message, I feel another one come through. This time, I don't bother looking at him. Instead, I finger the delicate lace on Rylie's dress, asking for more details. When I feel yet another text come through, I stifle a laugh.

I finally dig out my phone and casually read the messages.

KELLY: Baby girl.

KELLY: Why are you sitting all the way over there? Are you avoiding me?

KELLY: And I thought we agreed no showing off what's mine.

Smirking, I quickly text him back.

ME: I seem to remember saying that was out of your jurisdiction.

KELLY: Pretty sure I corrected that line of thinking.

ME: Did you, though?

KELLY: I'm the fucking mayor, baby girl!

I look up at him and roll my eyes. Next to me, Rylie laughs; and when I look at her, she shakes her head at me wearing an evil smile.

Ignoring her, I yell, "Who wants tequila shots?"

Teddy groans and waves me off. "Not today, Satan."

Everyone laughs, knowing perfectly well how Teddy and tequila don't mix.

"I'm up for some shots," Rylie says, standing from her stool and tugging me with her. She raises her voice to be heard over the music when she says, "Then we can go shopping for some dick, too."

I direct wide eyes at her, sending murderous vibes her way, but I laugh it off to save face. "Good luck finding fresh meat here."

Before Rylie can say anything else, I lead her through the crowds to the bar. While we wait for the bartender to notice us, she smirks deviously at me. "Maybe I need to shop on home turf then. Kelly is looking extra yummy tonight."

I glare at her, and she laughs. "Calm down, Sutton Button. I'm not as blind as your family. I see everything. And by everything, I mean the broody boy up there who is seconds away from blowing your cover and claiming you in front of everyone, even his best friend, who'd surely have a few things to say about this...dalliance."

I swat her in the arm. "Just keep it down, Rylie! Jesus!"

"So you're not denying it?"

"What good would it do? But you have to promise to keep your filthy mouth shut!"

Rylie zips her lips.

"That means no whispering it to Teddy. You know she'll go right to my brother."

Rylie sinks onto a stool at the bar on a sigh, her demeanor momentarily shifting into something more serious. "Sutton, I won't say anything. It's not my place. But I will issue you a warning because I love you and all joking aside, I am shipping you and Kelly. But you're playing with fire. Just make sure you're willing to get burned."

I'm saved by Randy, the bartender, when he clunks two shot glasses down on the bar in front of us and pours two shots of tequila. It pays to be regular customers, apparently. After downing the shots, Rylie screeches about her favorite song playing and drags me to the dance floor with her, where we end up staying for a handful of songs.

When I'm dewy with sweat, I weave my way through the gyrating bodies and return to our group of tables in the corner, immediately noticing a missing person. After a quick perusal of the building, I find Kelly perched at the bar, his body turned toward a woman I don't recognize. She caresses his forearm and throws her head back in laughter. I'm instantly on edge, irritation bubbling through me. I've never considered myself a jealous person, but gauging by the irrational urges I'm fielding at a rapid rate, I think it's safe to assume I have developed a new emotion when it comes to my boyfriend.

Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I quickly send off a text.

ME: I didn't realize the rules were a one way thing. They only apply to me, huh?

I watch as Kelly reads his text and looks over his shoulder. When he spots me, his lips curve up into a smirk. I'm sure my feelings are written all over my face, and I don't bother disguising them. He ducks his head, his fingers flying over the keys on his phone. I'm embarrassingly pleased with the annoyed expression on the girl's face while Kelly blatantly ignores her.

KELLY: Follow me.

He looks directly at me as he pushes away from the bar and stalks off in the direction of the bathroom, completely disregarding the girl, who watches the whole scene with apparent confusion. She calls after him, but he just waves her off.

I follow him, as requested, making my way through the groups of bodies and tables. When I step into the short hallway where the bathrooms are located, I'm immediately pulled into a small room, a dim fluorescent light highlighting the shelves of cleaning supplies.

"Is this the same closet that Jensen and Teddy got busy in?"

Instead of answering me, Kelly flips me around and wraps his arms around me from behind. Brushing my hair off my neck, his lips find the spot he marked me, only a faint discoloring now; and his hands roam all over my body.

"I missed you, baby girl." His voice is a husky whisper in my ear.

"Yeah? Because from the looks of it, you were entertaining yourself just fine."

"A jealous Sutton is cute as fuck." I can hear the amusement in his tone and my temper flares.

"Pretty sure that was rule number one or two. No flirting. I deleted the dating apps. Look at my clothes. Even Vivi commented on how I'm dressed conservatively tonight. And you definitely don't see me flirting, but I can undo all of that if the rules only apply to me."

His hand feathers over the bare skin of my abdomen. "You call this conservatively dressed? I can see your stomach, Sutton." His fingers trail up the material of my sleeveless crop top, dipping down into my cleavage. "Not to mention this right here."

"I tried on a million outfits tonight, Kelly. My room looks like a department store threw up in it. I've never thought so hard about what clothes to wear before. You were up in my head. I'm at least trying."

His hands settle on my hips. "You look gorgeous, baby girl. I was just giving you a hard time. I know you're trying. I'm sorry if I was an ass. The rules definitely apply to me, too. That girl was nothing. She approached me. I barely noticed her."

"Well, she noticed you."

"I only notice you," he says against my neck as he pebbles kisses on my skin. "It's been only you for a long time, Sutton."

When I shudder in his arms, he turns me to face him. His face is shadowed in the dimly lit closet, but it's easy to see the serious expression he wears. I sense the change in his demeaner, and I brace for it.

"You've been hiding from me." It's a statement, not a question, and when I try to deny it, he shushes me. "We don't lie to each other, Sutton."

"Fine. Yeah. I guess I have sort of been hiding from you." I pause, deciding how to put my feelings into words. I fidget with the hem of his worn t-shirt, dipping my hands underneath to feel his warm skin. Kelly is patient, waiting for me to continue, his hands a supportive presence on my hips.

"Things just happened so fast, you know?" I begin, my hands snaking up the back of his shirt, settling on his lower back. "Things are so intense and I'm freaking a little bit. I needed some space to think a minute."

"We can slow down if you need it. There's no rush. I'm not going anywhere, but just talk to me about it so I'm not an asshole pressuring you into something you're not ready for."

I press my hand over his mouth and say, "No, it's not that, Kelly. I am ready. I just needed a minute. I feel things on a stupid high level—you know this about me—and this is pretty big. Like super big. And I was just having a lot of feelings. I like you, Kelly. The big feelings kind of like, and that's really kind of scary."

He cups my face in his big hands and brushes his lips over mine. "I big feelings kind of like you, too, Sutton. And it is scary as fuck." He takes my lips again, pressing them softly for a few beats before pulling away.

Stroking my cheeks with his thumbs, he continues, "Sutton, we can slow down. It feels like it happened fast, but it's been slowly building for a while. It almost feels like we're further along than we are because of that. But it's only been a week. I know that's not a big chunk of time for how intense things are. So let's slow them down a bit, yeah?"

"No." I shake my head to reinforce my message. "Kelly, no. That's not what I want. I took my minute. And now I'm good. Sometimes I'll need a minute. It's how I am. I'm a slow processor, but once I'm done overthinking things, I'm good."

He smiles at me, brushing his hands down my hair. "Stay with me this weekend then."

With my hands tangled in his hair, I jerk his face close to mine, matching his wide smile. "Ok," I say against his mouth before drawing his bottom lip between my teeth, biting gently. I back away before he can capture my lips for a proper kiss, and I burst out laughing at his apparent displeasure, but he yanks me by my neck to his mouth and steals a kiss, his lips rough and greedy, sufficiently silencing me. 

He breaks away only long enough to warn, "Don't be a brat." Then he reclaims my lips, his tongue making claiming sweeps against mine, his hands wandering down to squeeze my ass, bringing me flush against his body.

"Should we go home now, or go back out there and ignore each other some more?"

"Leave. Definitely leave."