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Chapter 14- I See All These People That Love Me But I Still Feel Alone

-(4 days later)-

Shinsou's POV

The next morning comes and I completely forget it's a school day once I wake up. Well... once I'm forced awake. I was in a not very peaceful sleep, but it was sleep nonetheless. My mind was hazey and blank instead of constant nightmares of... him for once. I woke up with someone banging on my door, despite being clearly startled, I woke up in a deep void of emptiness and depression, I had no motivation to even get up and everything felt so dreary and grey. The person continued banging and I just stared at my ceiling at the glowing, stick-on stars littering it beautifully and stretching all the way to my walls and the solar system also hanging from above, making me feel smaller and even more insignificant than ever, but also somehow calmed... it all just reminded me if I just flew up there... I could see him again...maybe.

(A/N: His room is basically this but much more purple)

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by the person walking into my room. Their footsteps are light and even, maybe one of the smaller classmates? I don't know.

"Shinsou, if you don't get up now, you'll be late for class." I hear an incredibly deep voice loom right next to me. I shift my head and look over to the person next to me and I see bird head wearing his school uniform.

"Will you be coming to class today?" He folded his arms, his stoic expression ever present on his face.

"....yes" I sighed out, sitting up painfully. I look back at Bird head and see he's staring surprised I something, then I notice, he's staring at my bandaged arms. My sweater must've rode up while I was sleeping. I quickly yank down the sleeves and grip my arm, the slight sting of pain still present.

"Don't..."

"I won't. I understand." He says and rolls down to show barely present scars on his arms. My eyes widen but only slightly.

"I too have experience with this." He says and slides his sleeve back down. He was surprisingly okay and open with his scars.

"They aren't recent in the slightest. They're from years and years ago if that's what you're wondering. Anyways, who else knows?" He says in a bored voice and turns on the light switch and the scenery of glowing stars leaves the room.

"Todoroki. That's it." I say and slide out of bed. He nods and lets out a little "hm."

"I'll wait for you outside your room. Everyone has already left aside from Mez- Shouji and I. He's waiting outside the building." He shakes his head a little at his mistake and moves to walk out.

"Uhm... thank you... bird head." I say, a little embarrassed at calling him 'bird head'. But what can I say? Because of my sleep deprivation, I have the memory of a fucking sweet pea. My ADD doesn't help much with that either.

"It's Tokoyami." He waves off and walks out.

I nod to myself and make a note to remember his name. I also move quickly around my room and get my new hero course uniform. I slip on my pants and get my shirt and jacket on quickly, also sliding on some plain purple socks and some pusheen shoes.

(A/N: We don't know if he wears the uniform shoes. @ me. I dare you.)

I finally walk out and see Tokyo...Toko TOKOYAMI! Yeah, Tokoyami. Yay I got it.

Anyways, he was leaning next to my door with his arms crossed, he looked over to me and passed me a slice of toast.

"I don't think you've eaten yet today so I made you breakfast. I added my special apple butter so you're welcome." He gives me a faint smile and I take it and bite into it. Damn... he wasn't kidding when he said it was special. It was really sweet and cinnamon-y. I smile slightly back to him and we begin to walk down to the front door.

"Thanks Toko..."

"Tokoyami."

"Yes. Tokoyami. Can I just call you Tokyo?" I say once we reach outside. He laughs quietly.

"That's a new one, but yes, you may." He gives me a thumbs up and I nod. Looking up and around, I see six-arms walking over to us.

"What's his name again?" I whisper quickly to Tokyo.

"Shouji." He whispers back.

"Hey Shouji. You hands are looking better." I wave slightly to him. He waves back to me.

"They're doing much better, thanks for asking." He says and moves to the side of Tokyo.

I nod to him and the three of us quickly make our way to the main building. While walking we discuss some basic things, homework, Aizawa and Iida. By the way, Iida still wasn't allowed in class since his engines were still melting. They're made of both iron alloys and human cells so they're thankfully able to regenerate themselves, but it takes a shit load of a time for them to fully recover, even with medication.

Losing track of time, we finally arrive to the door to 1-A, but, before Shouji's hand can even reach the knob, we're stopped by a certain Draco Malfoy.

"WHAT'S THIS??? SHINSOU, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE WITH THESE 1-A LOSERS!" Monoma says with his shit-eating grin and haughty scoff. I just sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Monoma, I told you I was transferred into the hero course."

"What?? No you didn't." He lowers his voice down to his natural speaking voice, looking directly at me.

"Oh yeah I forgot, I told everyone except you." I say boredly and put my hand on the back of my neck.

"What the hell Shinsou?" He raises his arms up dramatically.

"Sorry... I knew you wouldn't react well to this."

"Ah, you were right. Well, I'll head back to class now. Have a nice day." He waves me off and starts into head back into his class. Shouji opens the door but before we enter, Monoma sticks his head back out.

"EXCEPT FOR YOU TWO CLASS 1-A LOSERS!!"

"I'm a class 1-A loser too now."

"...SHUT." He yells and finally heads into his class, closing the door behind me. I laugh quietly and Shouji and Tokyo just look at me with confusion written all over their faces.

"Don't ask." Is all I say before we head into the room and sit in our respective seats.

The class sits, waits, and talks for a couple minutes while I just sit alone in my seat, looking down at my hands on the table with a tired and slightly sad expression. It stays this way before dad- Aizawa walks in.

"Good morning class." He says in a bored voice that rivals even mine. "Before we start the day, I want to introduce someone that's coming back into our class. When he comes in, try to stay in your seats please." He says and looks to the door.

Could it be?

"Come on in."

Really is it???

I see a flash of blonde hair in the doorway.

IS IT???? IT REALLY IS HIM????

...then I see him..

It's Kaminari.

As Kaminari waves in front of the room, literally everything is off about him. He's pale, he's thin, his hair is even messier than before somehow, the expression on his face didn't invite warmness, it was instead endowed with a blank sadness. He wasn't the same.

A wave of sadness overtakes me, then pity, then rage. The tension in the room is so high it's suffocating.

"Um...hi.." he looks down.

"Why the fuck is he here?" I grip my fists on the table and look at Aizawa. My voice was sharp and filled with nothing but hate.

"Because he just returned after escaping from the villain headquarters 4 days ago. He's been here and recovering ever since. He never wanted to be a villain. It was out of his control." Aizawa looks back at me, a slight scold in his eyes.

"Still, he's a murderer. I don't care if he didn't want to. He still helped in hurting every one of us and killing O-" I start in a strict tone of voice before it slowly becomes more sad and nearly breaks at the mention of him. I look directly at him with a glare so deadly, he could've dropped dead then and there. He looked guilty and sad, like he was going to cry, but also confused. I was so angry. I honestly just wanted to get up and strangle him.

"Shinsou.." I look back and see Todoroki looking right at me. His eyes were narrow and sharp as always, but his voice dripped with concern and worry for me.

"Shinsou... I had no choice..." my head snaps back to look at Kaminari. "I was forced to. My mom is dead. My father forced me into this life and made me a villain. I hated every second of it, and I love you guys. If I didn't follow every instruction they gave me, they would've.. they would've killed all of you." My glare doesn't falter at once. He's lying! He has to be!

"Shinsou." I look back to Todoroki again.

"Remember what the villain with the gun said? 'You know, that kid really didn't want us to hurt you. He really likes you guys, too bad his orders mean jack shit to us'?" He says and looks at me sternly. My mind goes back to that moment. Yeah.. I remember... and... that was true? Kaminari really didn't?

"But... what do you mean I killed someone? And everyone got hurt???? I specifically told them not to hurt anybody!" He said with tears gleaming and sincerity in his eyes. Holy shit... he really did mean that... and he doesn't know???

"...yes. Everyone was hurt, and one of us died." Todoroki spoke up.

"WHO?" He practically yelled, tears streaming down his face.

Todoroki looked at me, and then back to Kaminari.

"Ojirou."

Kaminari immediately broke down. Tears were flowing like a waterfall out of his eyes and he sniffles a lot.

"I...I never meant for this to happen! Ojirou was such a great friend!" He's handed a tissue and he wipes his eyes.

"Yeah! Well he's dead!" I pipe up again, a couple tears dropping onto my desk.

"That's enough!" Aizawa finally rose up and shouted, slamming his hands on the desk.

"Kaminari, go sit down, Shinsou, a word outside." Kaminari immediately sat down, getting some comforting pats on the back from Kirishima, who immediately forgave him.

I stood up and walked out into the hallway, Aizawa immediately following after me.

"You better behave yourself in my class. You may have gotten in, but you can just as easily be kicked out." He scolded me.

"But, dad-"

"Aizawa."

"-Aizawa! He- he killed!"

"I know, I'm aware, but you need to realize everything he's gone through. He's lived his entire life with villains, and he still had the heart of a hero. He still wanted to do good, and he was punished for it. He was disowned and left to rot on the streets, but he still came back to see everyone because he loves you all."

It took me a second to process everything he said. I was still blinded by my hatred... but not as much. I still despise Kaminari, so, so much, but I guess I could... try to find a way to forgive him. But I won't be talking to him any time soon.

"Fine. But don't expect me to just immediately become bffs with him." I say and storm past him back into class. I keep my head straight and ahead of me, not looking at anyone in the room as I sit back down.

Aizawa stands at the front of the class again.

"Now, to finally get on with today's lesson."
-----------------------------------------------------

We're dismissed for lunch and I immediately rush out. Not waiting for anyone, not looking back, nothing. I speed walk my way until I get to the lunch room. I'm the first one in line and I quickly order and pay for my food. While waiting patiently for it to be made, I think quietly to myself. Should I do it... should I do it... nothing's getting better, everything is worse and it just can't get better. He's gone and I have nothing left really.. everyone has someone else, I'm just... here. Should I do it?

I think for a while before I'm handed my food and I immediately rush my way out with my food and head to eat on the roof. While walking, I feel a pair of eyes on me, but I ignore it. Just ignore everything..

As soon as I get up to the roof, I sit at the ledge  and stare off into the sky. It's at it's highest point at this time, and it illuminated everything around it. Everything is so beautiful... so peaceful and amazing...

Unlike me.

People down below are chatting with their loved ones and eating happily, staring at the glowing cherry blossoms ahead of them. It made my blood run cold and my soul feel empty as I ate my yakiniku. I feel so lonely, so I've decided what to do.

I finished up my yakiniku as fast as I can and slurp down my miso soup as well as my tea and dessert. I set my tray aside immediately after finished and stand on the ledge. I'm looking up, straight at the sky. I step down and take off my shoes, setting them directly behind the ledge and then stepping back up and looking over the distance with my hands in my pockets.

"Wherever you are... I'll see you soon." I smile to myself as tears fall from my eyes.

I walk off the ledge.

...but I'm caught.

Whatever caught me, it was wrapped around my stomach and hoisted me up immediately, knocking the wind out of me. Looking down through lidded eyes, I see some of what caught me. It was lightly skin colored and, pardon my language, thick and pretty muscley. But it wasn't an arm... it was too thick and long. Looking slightly to the side, I see a tuft of what looks like sunshine. It's bright and.. yellow... it's serene, so serene, looking at it makes me happier and calmer than I've ever been. My temporary state of ecstasy is interrupted, however, when the back of my head hits the concrete ground of the roof. I yelp in pain immediately grasp it, it was throbbing. I felt whatever that was around my stomach uncoil and footsteps sounded next to me.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!" I hear a familiar voice and a shadow loom over me. My vision was blurry, and all I could make out was blonde and...water. Tears?

"It's ok..." I sit up and rub the back of my head, blinking a couple times to clear my vision as the familiar stranger kneels in front of me... whatever that caught me was extended to the back of them, and the yellow patch of... hair was still hanging off of it.

Wait.. is it really him this time?

My vision finally clears and I get a clear look of the strangers face... but it wasn't a stranger. Not at all.

His face was red and his eyes were puffy, tear tracks ran down his face and his hair was messy. He had a relieved and happy smile on his face that lit me up with joy. It really was him...

"Ojirou..?"

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