Chapter 4

I made my way along the school corridor, passing through a crowd of noisy students. Opening my locker, I dropped my Biology textbook onto the first shelf where a pile of books rose in a toppling mound, scowling when I remembered I was supposed to return the textbook to the library the day before yesterday.

January had marched on so fast, days and weeks gone by like a trail of smoke vanishing up the sky. February had come in wrapped in a package of chilly wind and swirly mist. Despite the cold, there was beauty in autumn—in the dry trees painted red and brown, in the splotches of orange dotting the cobbled sidewalks and in the fresh rain that cleansed the earth.

Last autumn, Naomi and I had gone to the park across Hawkings Street, warm coffee cups in our curled hands, shoes scrunching under fallen leaves. We’d sat on the wooden bench, gossiping about boys and school rumors, fashion and movies. I’d watched the grey clouds part aside, allowing the elusive sun to shed its rays on the leaves. Everything had turned golden like the trees had trapped sunlight in their tangled branches, and I had been overwhelmed by this sudden urge to grab a sheet of paper, enclose my fingers around a pencil and sketch the scenery.

“What’s that?” Naomi peeked over my shoulder.

I had thrown a crumpled ball into my locker. She caught it in mid-air. Naomi had dyed her curly hair blue and she looked great. She had an eclectic taste in fashion, often dressing up in clashing colors and making it look good.

I groaned. “It’s nothing.” 

She unfolded it, one eyebrow shooting up towards her fringe as she spotted the big C- slapped on the top right corner in bright red ink.

“I told you to sit with Thomas Rhineston.” She tipped her head to the side, her pink earrings jingling.

We’d been given a class assignment and my lazy lab partner had failed to show up on the presentation day. I know I was part to blame. Biology wasn’t my strong forte. Thomas would have been a better partner. He was the best in class. He was also a pervert.

I tore the paper from Naomi’s grip. “And have him grope me?”   

“Want me to beat him up?” Aiden stood between us, left fist thumping into the inside of his right palm.

“No, caveman.” I waved my hand dismissively.  “It’s fine.”

Aiden grunted, face drawn into a scowl. Naomi passed her gaze between him and me and then bent down to retrieve a pouch from her own locker.

Someone slapped Aiden on the back, hard enough that he lurched forward.

“’Sup Rowe.”

“Jackass.” Aiden straightened up.

Carlos joined our little group, smirking at him. He was one of Aiden’s close friends and the lead singer of Blue Ravens, a local rock band. He flashed me a grin then blew a kiss at Naomi. She gave him a nasty glare and flicked her blue curls over her shoulder before turning back to her locker.

I snickered.

“I heard you screwed up in The Pit,” Carlos said to Aiden.

Aiden sighed. “Yeah, Coach wanted to wring my neck.”

The Pit was the pool gym, a nickname given by the swimming team because of their harsh—and merciless—coach. Whenever he was in a bad mood, his skin would turn red, bushy moustache bristling, beady eyes narrowed. I’d often pictured him as one angry radish but I could see why the team named him The Devil.

Aiden and Carlos wandered off, muttering about the upcoming swimming competition scheduled for March. Aiden was one of the best swimmers in the team so their coach was harder on him.

Straightening my scarf, I swung my bag over my shoulder. Naomi squeezed a tube of lip gloss and traced the sticky liquid over her lips.

“So what’s going on, Megs?” She put the tube into her purse.

 “What do you mean?” I asked, coiling my cashmere scarf around my neck.

 “You think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been giving Aiden the dopey-eyed look?”

I looked away from her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She slammed her locker shut. “Hello? I’m your best friend!”

I winced. How long had she known? I thought I had everything under control. If she knew, did that mean Aiden had noticed too? My stomach twisted into knots. No, he couldn’t have known. He would have avoided me.

She didn’t say anything as we exited the building. We strolled into the parking lot. A blast of cold wind nipped at my face. Rubbing my hands together, I let out a breath, wishing I had brought my gloves.

“Maybe you should tell him how you feel.” Naomi clutched her maroon coat tighter around herself.

“I can’t.” I shook my head. “You know what he’ll do.”

She grimaced. “But you’re his best friend.”

I chewed on my bottom lip. “All the more reason to forget about my feelings.”

“Is it working?”

I stopped walking. “What?”

Naomi made air quotes with her fingers. “Your “Let’s Forget Aiden” therapy.”

I stared straight at the main gates, grinding my teeth together. “I’m getting there.”

“Megan, sometimes you have to take risks,” Naomi said.

“Some risks aren’t worth it!” I snapped.

She gave me that sympathetic look, the one I always hated. They say love consumes you, fills you up in delusional happiness and then leaves you in pieces. Alone. Broken. Wounded. Maybe they are right.  

I just needed a way to fix this. A bleach that would remove the stain in my heart. My fingers gripped the sleeves of my jacket. I didn’t want to lose Aiden. It was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.

Naomi looped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. She didn’t say anything. Her gesture told enough. It helped me feel so much better.

When she stepped back, she said, “Tell you what? Let’s go shopping!”

I laughed.

We were close to the gates when we saw a group of students gathered in the left side of the parking lot, partly hidden by a row of cars.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Naomi frowned.

The rumble of voices grew louder as we approached the crowd. In the center, Aiden was rubbing his jaw, his expression hard and cold. James Taylor, his opponent, had one fist raised to chest-level and the other, pressing his ribs.

“Oh no,” Naomi said.

Pushing through the crowd, I yelled, “Stop! Stop it!”

They didn’t pay any attention to me. James threw an uppercut at Aiden but he sidestepped and thrust a fist at James’ eye. Stunned, James stumbled back, putting a distance between them. I couldn't believe it. After all this time, after all they’ve been through, they still couldn’t get along.

“Stop fighting, you idiots!”

My voice was lost to the jeers from the crowd. Frustrated, I was forced to watch as the two circled each other. I wasn’t stupid to stand between them in the hopes of ending the scuffle. It was something I had learnt the first time they had fought. Never step in between two pissed off boys. You’d end up getting hit.

James leapt at Aiden, growling in fury. Aiden held him off, his feet sliding back but he didn’t fall. The crowd stilled and then in one sudden movement, students began shuffling out of the circle, dispersing in different directions.

“Run!” Naomi grabbed my wrist.

A teacher was coming. Aiden and James broke apart. We pulled him away and fled from the scene, heading for his car. A minute later, we were out into the streets. A heavy silence hung in the confines of the car, one that was snuffed out when Aiden asked where we were going and Naomi told him to take us to the mall.

When Aiden killed the engine, we walked out. Naomi started towards the mall but I stayed behind. Aiden leaned on the car, hands in his pockets. There was a small swelling on his jaw and his hair was disheveled.

"You promised you wouldn’t fight him,” I said.

“He started it.”

“I know you’re hurt but he’s hurt too.”

His gaze met my own and for a moment, I saw something in his eyes. Disappointment. Pain. Regret.  

It builds and then it breaks…

A part of Aiden had been lost ever since he’d told me those six words, a broken piece of his soul that maybe, still lingered on my porch swing.

"Aiden..."

“You have no idea what’s it like, Megan," he said.

Slipping into the car, Aiden shut the door with a bang and drove off without another glance at me. Soft footsteps tapped behind me. I smelled the cherry perfume Naomi had worn since January. She squeezed my shoulder. I flicked my gaze to her.

“Come on, let’s go,” she said.