Chapter Twenty

        Where We Burn

        After Belle, I vowed to never, ever babysit anyone but her because honestly, when she was younger, she was a monster. She was one of those children who looked so innocent when she smiles and bats her big eyes. But then when you turn around she’s writing on the walls and stealing chocolate sauce from the refrigerator.

            Since the chocolate sauce on white couch incident, I never wanted to look after a child under ten again. Ever. But now I suppose I have to revoke my promise to myself, because I never anticipated that I’d have to help look after my maybe-boyfriend’s love child.

            After an amount of cotton candy and various deep friend items that I didn’t know could be deep friend, I want to throw up. But more than that, I want to sit down. Running after a child is seriously wearing me out, and I technically still am a minor.

            “Thank you for being understanding,” Jacoby repeats for the fifth time. He slings his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him in a half-hug while his daughter isn’t looking. He’s afraid that she won’t understand what’s going on between us and frankly, I am too. “I think Ella really likes you.”

            I catch Lark smiling as she walks by with Carson, who’s making a point to stare right at me without smiling. Ignoring him, I smile at her before turning back to Jacoby.

            “It’s fine, really. I’m enjoying it.” I give him a genuine grin as Ella runs towards us and starts holding Jacoby’s hand. He immediately drops his arm and stands in front of me, making it look like we’re just friends. “I think the events are starting soon. What’s the plan?” My eyes flicker down the Ella. Though I’m enjoying spending time with her and Jacoby, I don’t think a car race or demolition derby are the right places for her.

            “My dad said he would find me to get her and-“ he stops himself and raises his hand to point past me. “There he is now.”

            Jacoby’s dad looks much different than I remember him, yet the same. He still has the same defined face and jaw as Jacoby and piercing eyes, but his hair is graying and lines of stress stay permanent on his forehead.

            “He’s been taking things much harder since my mom died,” Jacoby whispers before he reaches us. “Hey, Dad.” He smiles as if he didn’t just put a dark undertone on the whole scene.

            Mr. Grey nods at his son before turning to me and holding out his hand. “Stevie,” he mumbles, looking me over. I reach to shake his hand and the moment our palms brush, he pulls me into a tight hug. “It’s been so long.”

            When he lets go he keeps his hands on my shoulders. He continues to stare at me as if he’s trying to match the past Stevie with the present.

            “How have you been?”

            “Good,” I lie, giving him a smile.

            When we’re done our brief catching up Jacoby encourages Ella to go with her grandpa and the two head off towards a children’s ride. Jacoby and I move to the special parking lot for competitors where he shows me his demolition car.

            “It looks like a pile of junk,” I tell him honestly.

            The dented, scratched and peeling red car looks like it came straight from the junkyard after sitting there for ten years. A quick scan around the grass lot tells me that most of the other competitor’s cars did too.

            Jacoby grins and moves towards the driver’s door. “Then it’s perfect.”

            He starts the car and the engine falters before coming to life. He drives it ahead a few feet until it’s beside me and I can see the white twenty-six painted on the side.

            “Get in,” Jacoby calls through the open windows. I move to grab the door handle when Jacoby practically yells in my face. “No! You have to use the window. The doors don’t open.”

            Groaning, I try to plan my way into his car. First I lift my right leg, trying to get leverage when suddenly I’m stuck. I have no idea how to move without breaking my leg or falling on my back.

            “Here,” he laughs, grabbing my hand so I don’t have to grip the top of the car anymore. Jacoby guides me into a sitting position atop the door before helping me slide smoothly into the seat. “You can’t come into the ring,” he explains as we slowly cross the grass.

            I shoot him a confused look. “Then why did you want me to get into your car?”

            “I have a confession,” he says, half ignoring me.

            We pull to a stop behind a line of demolition cars and I turn in my seat to glare at Jacoby. “Go on.”

            “The door isn’t the one that doesn’t open. I just wanted to see you come in through the window.”

            “Jacoby!” I smack his arm before slumping into the seat, narrowing my eyes at him.

            A loudspeaker above us sounds before either of us can respond. When it says that the derby is starting I grab the door handle cautiously and step outside. Turning around, I smirk at Jacoby before slamming the door.

            “Don’t I get a good-luck kiss?” he asks as I walk around to his side of the car. When I reach him I fold my arms across my chest and pretend to think.

            “Hmm, I don’t know,” I tease.

            Jacoby pouts and I can’t resist any longer. I practically run the small distance to the window and stick my head in, letting my lips touch his. When I pull away Jacoby’s grinning.

            “Thank you.”

            “Good luck,” I laugh as he reaches into the back seat. He retrieves a black helmet and slides it onto his head. Giving me a thumbs up, he revs the engine and waves goodbye.

            Lark finds me on the stands a few minutes later. Because I got here so late I’m stuck on one of the bottom rows. Plopping down beside me, she gives me a smile.

            “So I saw your name on the contestant’s board.” She winks and turns her head towards the empty dirt patch in front of us. “Why was I not informed that my dear best friend Stevie Greenwood was competing?”

            I roll my eyes just as Carson takes a seat behind us, still refusing to look at me. I give Lark a confused look and she shrugs. I guess she’s as lost as I am when it comes to her brother’s moods.

            “Because I didn’t know until this morning,” I admit. “And I really, really don’t want to race.”

            Lark gives me a sympathetic expression just as the loudspeaker starts to announce the drivers. They all come in one by one when their names are called and when Jacoby comes into view Lark and I scream and yell like we’re crazy. Carson doesn’t make a sound.

            The derby starts and to be honest, after a few minutes of car smashing and engines revving I get bored. I start looking around the fence that guards the dirt area where the cars are fighting and let me eyes glance over the people.

            “Jacoby’s doing great!” Lark calls over the noise.

            I move my gaze to look at him when something else catches my eye. There’s someone standing away from the crowd at the fence, looking completely out of place from the cheering fans. His thin, brown hair and light beard look different than I remember them, and his plaid, red shirt is unfamiliar as well. But I know him. He’s familiar, even from this distance.

            “Uh oh,” Lark continues, her hands clenching into fists in front of her. “He’s getting cornered! Stevie, are you watching?”

            I can’t listen to my best friend. My body goes ridged as my head starts to go into survival move. There, standing away from the crowd, not that far away from me, is my father. I try to convince myself that it’s my imagination. After all, he doesn’t look exactly the same. But I know it’s him. It’s unmistakeable as his body is turned towards me and not the show, because he’s staring directly at me.

            “Oh my God,” I breathe just as Lark screams in my ear.

            She grabs my arm, oblivious to what’s going on with me. Shaking me, she starts to have a breakdown beside me. I’m too disconnected to what’s going on until Carson grabs my shoulder with one hand and points with the other.

            Jacoby’s red, beat up car is on fire. Flames are climbing up from the middle of the hood. My eyes move to Jacoby and every single alarm in my head starts to blare. A sound emits from the loudspeaker, telling everyone in the ring to stop what they’re doing.

            Inside the car Jacoby isn’t moving. There’s a large dent in his door, which is painted white to let the driver’s know not to hit there. Everyone knows that. No one ever tries to smash the driver. But they did. They tried to smash Jacoby and now he’s not moving.

            “Oh my God,” I repeat, briefly clutching onto Lark. Her eyes are glassy and filled with fear.

            Everything seems to slow down. I see my dad momentarily, meeting my eyes across the grass. Then he turns, laughing as he flicks a cigarette away from him and disappearing into the crowd.

            Jacoby is still in the car, unconscious. Everyone is getting out of their cars and moving away from the fire as a crew of paramedics move towards him. They grab the door and try to budge it open but they can’t. It’s not supposed to and there’s no chance of getting him out through the window or the other side as its pushed up against a line of huge, cement bricks.

            A small crackle of fire explodes besides the paramedics and they all jump away. Cautiously, they go back to the car.

            “What if they don’t get him,” Lark whispers, her voice thick. “What if the car explodes? Oh Stevie, what if they don’t get him!”

            I pry her off of my arm and climb to my feet. I’m halfway to the ground when Carson grabs both of my shoulders, trying to pull me back.

            “Stevie, just wait here,” he says, gripping me tighter.

            “Get off of me!” I snap, shaking him away. Before he can regain control I’m jumping off the remaining steps and sprinting across the grass. When I reach the fence I move through an opening and jump over the line of cement bricks guarding the arena. I hear people call for me to stay away and a man even brushes my shoulder, trying to grab me but I don’t listen.

            Jacoby has a child. He has a family. He has me. Whatever happens, if the car explodes or not, I’m going to be standing there with him.

            One of the other drivers grabs me by my arms and yanks me back into him so I can’t move. “You can’t be out here,” he says. “It’s dangerous.”

            “I don’t care,” I huff, trying to get him off me. “That,” I say, pointing to Jacoby, “is my boyfriend!” The driver looks shocked and his grip loosens. “Now get away from me!”

            A paramedic tries to stop me and again I explain my relation to Jacoby just as they smash the door open. They unbuckle him and try to wake him up. When he doesn’t, they drag his limp body out of the car and across the dirt, creating a trail from the car to us.

            “Jacoby,” I cry, trying to wake him up as I follow his body as it moves. “Jacoby, you need to wake up now. You need to wake up for Ella, Jacoby. You need to wake up for me.”

            “Where’s the stretcher?” one of the paramedics asks.

            “We can’t move it through the dirt,” another answers.

            “Then bring the ambulance! We need the ambulance, now!”

            “What’s going on?” I kneel beside Jacoby and brush his matted black hair away from his face. Blood is smeared across the right side but I can’t tell where it’s coming from. “Is he going to be okay?”

            “He hit his head off the dashboard. We’re worried that he has a concussion and possibly some internal bleeding.” The paramedic see’s my concern and pats my shoulder. “You’re doing a good job of trying to keep up,” he says. “Keep trying. If anything, a familiar voice will do the trick.”

            “Jacoby,” I repeat, letting my palm rest on his cheek. “If you’re not going to wake up you’re not going to see me race.” When I get no response I dig deeper. “I need you right now. Please, please wake up. My dad’s back, Jacoby. I need my boyfriend to help me.”

            When the ambulance reaches us Jacoby still is unconscious. The paramedics lift him inside the trunk and onto a stretcher. I stand there, frozen, not knowing what to do. All I seem to be able to is watch, helpless.

            I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. “You did well, Stevie.”

            I look up to see my grandpa, but he’s not staring at me. His eyes are on Jacoby and his expression looks as worried as mine. Tears start pouring uncontrollably out of my eyes and Grandpa puts his arm around me, pulling me into a hug.

            “Everything is going to be okay,” he murmurs, but I can’t tell he doesn’t believe his own words just yet.

            “Excuse me, miss!” someone calls. Grandpa and I pull apart and I turn to see a paramedic calling me. He’s sitting in the back of the ambulance. “Can you come here?”

            I look to Grandpa and he nods towards the vehicle, encouraging me. When I reach there the man grabs my hand and pulls me up. He seats me on a small chair beside Jacoby.

            “He wants you to come with him to the hospital,” the paramedic explains. I open my mouth, unsure of what to say. “I’ll go talk to your guardian.” He briefly leaves the ambulance and I still don’t know what to do.

            “Boyfriend, huh?”