Thirteen

        Where We Mend

        The wind blows the rain, causing it to come sideways directly at the window I’m sitting by. I flinch as it slams against the glass, making a loud thumping sound in front of me. No longer able to see past the water, I stand up and head back to the bed.

            “That was cold,” Jacoby mutters, coming out of the bathroom. He showered after me, despite the lack of hot water, electricity and tornado warning. I think he just kicked me out so he could shower. He left the door open the whole time however now he runs a towel over his hair as he stands in the room. He isn’t wearing a shirt.

            “You’re insane.” He pulls the towel off his head and his hair stands in spikes all over the place, looking adorable and hilarious at the same time. He sees me laughing and quickly flattens his strands. “No, do it again!” I object, and he rolls his eyes.

            He comes to the bed and sinks down beside me, his hair spikey again. “Everyone’s probably worried about us.”

            I shrug. I’m used to worrying people by not coming home, particularly my dad. “Grandpa is in the hospital so he has no idea. I’m sure Lark’s family and Belle heard about the bridge and assumes we’re staying here until it’s clear.”

            Jacoby looks down, avoiding my eyes. “I guess my family will be the same.”

            “Family meaning your parents, Dove, and your daughter,” I deadpan.

            There’s a brief moment when his whole body tenses, like someone was pouring boiling water on his back. But then he jumps to his feet and grabs his red shirt off the bed. I’m still wearing his jacket but he doesn’t ask for it as he storms towards the door.

            “Where are you going?” I rise to my feet and hurry after him. He throws open the door, the wind knocking it into the wall of the motel. Just before I reach it he manages to slam it closed against the wind, inches from my face.

            “And he’s the mad one,” I grumble, opening the door. The wind blows it closed behind me and I look around, trying to find Jacoby. My hair whips in my face and I pull the strands from my eyes, catching sight of him stomping across the parking lot. “Jacoby, wait!”

            Of course, he doesn’t stop nor slow. I have to run to catch up to him, struggling to see him in the rain and wind. A leaf smacks into my face and I grumble, pushing myself faster to him. When I reach him I grab his hand, yanking him to a stop as hard as I can.

            “What’s wrong?” I yell over the storm. His hand sits limply in mine as I spin him to face me. When he’s no longer trying to get away from me I still don’t drop his hand. “I didn’t mean to make you mad!”

            His black hair blows in front of his eyes, only letting me get small glimpses of the blue eyes that lie underneath. In the rain they look much brighter than they usually do, but also much darker. I can’t explain it; it looks like the colours are fighting each other in a swirl of blue.

            “You don’t get it.” His voice is cold and even though it’s hard to hear him, he doesn’t shout for me to hear him like I had been doing to him.

            “What don’t I get?” I ask. “Because I really don’t know what you’re talking about or what made you so mad.”

            He opens his mouth to respond, turning his gaze to the right. But no words come out. He looks like he’s frozen before he slowly closes his lips, sighing because he doesn’t know what to say.

            “Please, Jacoby.” I feel like I’m begging him to end this game he keeps me playing. “Just tell me what’s going on; tell me what I said so I don’t make you angry again.”

            His tense body finally relaxes and his eyes flicker to mine, holding my gaze. Despite the strands of black blocking his eyes every time the wind picks up, I still can’t move my eyes away.

            “You don’t understand how much things have changed since you left, Stevie.”

            I look at him like he’s insane. “You don’t think I know? I’m the one who left. I’m the one who came back to find out my old friend Dove and the boy I lov-“ I quickly correct myself. “Was friends with had a child, everyone hates me for leaving and my mom’s in the hospital. So don’t you dare tell me that I don’t know how much things have changed.”

            His expression changes to angry before he starts yelling over the storm. “You’re right!” He shouts, leaning forward towards me as he gets madder by the second. “You’re the one who left! But you seem to think that you’re the only one who’s hurt, Stevie! Well you’re not, okay?”

            I expect myself to automatically get angry too and start screaming back at him, but I’m too shocked that he’s screaming at me. “Jacoby, I didn’t mean to-“ I start quietly but he cuts me off before I can apologize.

            “Oh, stop it!” He throws his hands in the air, looking up at the rain in fury before turning his gaze back to me. “You didn’t even look outside yourself one fucking time! Do you care what it did to everyone else when you left?” He doesn’t pause for me to answer. “Well, just so you know, it fucking killed me, Stevie. It destroyed me inside when you left me without as much as a goodbye.” He shakes his head, looking at the ground. The wind catches his hair again and blows it out of his face. When he looks up again, he’s scowling. “I loved you and you left me like I was nothing.”

            I had heard some of this from Dove but hearing it from Jacoby makes the inside of my chest hurt. It hurts so bad that I wish it was real pain, something I could put a Band-Aid on or take medicine for to make it go away, but I can’t. I can’t repair the damage it’s done; the damage I’ve done.

            I can’t believe his words because it’s the way I’ve felt for all this time. It’s too hard to believe that I destroyed something I can’t ever go back to.

            “Jacoby.” I’m crying all over again, the tears streaming down my cheeks before I can wipe them away. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

            I’m shivering in the wind even though I’m wearing Jacoby’s jacket while he’s in a t-shirt. But I’m not shaking from the cold outside, I’m shaking because of how devastated I am on the inside. Everything he said is right.

            Jacoby’s face softens and he looks like he’s as hurt as I am. “Oh, Stevie,” he murmurs. Before I can see through the tears he’s a blurry figure coming towards me. He wraps me tightly in a hug, pressing my face into his damp t-shirt. His arms hold me against him as snugly as they can. I was shaking so bad but I slowly stop, only moving from the wind.

            “I’m so sorry,” I repeat. His head rests on top of mine perfectly, like we were molded together as clay before we were separated. “I wanted to, it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t know.” I can’t make a sentence that’s clear but I know it will all come out eventually. Dove was right; I do need to tell Jacoby the truth. And maybe now it’s time.

            Jacoby pulls away and holds my shoulders tightly. He looks in my eyes, like he’s seeing the old me rather than the person I am now. His hands slide down my arms to my hands and he twines our fingers together.

            “Let’s go inside. We shouldn’t be out here.”

            I nod, sniffling and he drops one of my hands. He holds the other firmly as he takes me back to the motel, keeping our sides as close together as humanly possible.

©

            “He just told Belle and I to pack our stuff one morning,” I cry, shaking my head in disbelief even though I know it happened. “And then we left. We couldn’t see anyone or tell anyone. We couldn’t even say goodbye or tell my Grandpa we were leaving. We just left and never came back until now.”

            Jacoby squeezes my hand tighter on the floor between us. We’re sitting on the musty carpet, leaning against the edge of the bed. The wind hits the window in front of us, occasionally causing me to flinch. Each time I do Jacoby moves a little bit closer.

            “Why didn’t you tell me?” He turns to look at me but I refuse to move my gaze from the floor. “I would have understood.”

            “I thought it wouldn’t change anything. It’s stupid.” I smile but there’s no joy in it. “I just thought that everyone was living their own, happy lives, and the reason why I left mine wouldn’t matter.”

            “It does matter. It means so much to me.” He gives my hand a squeeze and I glance his way to see he’s smiling. “You mean so much to me.”

            “More to you than your Master Chief Halo Helmet?” I raise my eyebrows at him, bringing up an inside joke I haven’t thought about in years. If I could, I would go back to those days where we had silly toys and get in fights over stupid things. Everything was so much simpler then.

            “I don’t know, Stevie,” he laughs, joking. “It could be valuable now.”

            I narrow my eyes at him. “Even with the Jacoby is stupid black sharpie written on the inside?”

            His eyes grow as wide as golf balls. “That was you?” He looks more shocked than I’ve ever seen him. I grin and he drops my hand to turn and sit in front of me. “All this time I blamed Lark!”

            I feel smug as he tries to figure out how it possibly could have been me. “I did it the day you started calling her Loser Lark.”

            “I forgot about that! I’ll have to start-“

            “You never answered my question.” I cut him off and glare. He looks confused but I let him backtrack so I don’t have to repeat myself. When he realizes what I’m talking about, he sighs and gives me a genuine smile.

            “Yes, Stevie Greenwood, you mean more to me than my Master Chief Halo helmet. Much more.”

            I grin. “Thank you.”

©

            I don’t know how, but things feel normal. It feels almost as if I never left and we’ve been hanging out all this time. We reminisce until the late hours of the night. Mostly we talk about things we used to do but sometimes the conversation strays to what happened when I was gone and vice versa. Every time my dad came up, I changed the subject as quickly as possible.

            I lie on my side on the uncomfortable mattress, listening to the rain patter against the roof of the motel. The power is still out and Jacoby is in the bathroom, brushing his teeth despite the lack of light.

            I feel like I’ve gained my best friend back. Things between us are good now, at least I hope so. I’m just worried that everything is going to change the second we cross the bridge to Greenbrier.

            “I can’t believe people actually stay here,” Jacoby says, coming back into the room. He stretches his arms over his head and yawns, causing me to yawn. He laughs before pausing beside the bed. “I can sleep on the floor if you want.”

            He doesn’t look like he wants to sit on the floor at all, but I take his words as a nice gesture. “We used to fall asleep watching movies at your house and your mom would let us sleep on the pull-out couch together. She would even tuck us in. I don’t think this is different.”

            He smiles sadly, probably wanting to go back to the past like I do. Shrugging, he walks towards the bed and before he can lie down, I take one of the pillows and create a barrier between us.

            “What, do you think I’m going to attack you in your sleep?” He jokes, climbing under the blankets.

            “No.” I smirk, leaning on my elbow to look at him. “I just remember you being notorious for kicking me out of bed while you hogged all the covers.”