Chapter Seventeen

        Where We Hide

        I feel like Jacoby and I are playing a game. One moment we’re fine, laughing and being friends like things are back to normal. Then, the next, I’m back in my shed, hiding from him in fear of what Dove will do to me if she finds out he’s been trying to see me.

            The talk with Dove was one-sided, biased, and partly true. It ended with me wanting to keep my head attached nicely to my body, so I decided to keep my mouth shut until she got up and left, not wanting a response to quite the rant I got.

            Even Lark, who’s not very scared of anything really, kept her eyes on the table the whole time and never spoke.

            “Stevie,” Belle complains, trudging into the shed.

            I’m no longer fixing the Mustang anymore, but lying on the hood instead with my feet hanging off the bumper. Jacoby helped me completely fix it and now all that’s left to do is take it for a test drive.

            “Belle,” I mock, not lifting my head.

            “Are you going to be doing this all weekend?” She doesn’t hide her whining as she takes a few steps closer to me. When I don’t respond right away, she pokes the end of my shoe.

            “It’s Friday.”

            “Exactly my point.”

            A quick glance up reveals Belle with her arms folded across her chest and her eyes glaring at me. With a sigh, I sit up and lean back on my hands to look at her.

            “What did you want to do?”

            I expect her to smile and be happy that I’m even considering her request that I have yet to hear, however instead she stomps towards the stool and climbs up, her eyes still narrowed.

            “The fair is coming this weekend.”

            Confusion and homesickness wash across my face before I can stop them. I remember going to the fair every year with our mom and dad. The last time we went was before the accident, and I fear that going this time is going to make me feel worse all over again.

            Sliding off the hood to my feet, I clench my hands into my fists and brush past Belle, not daring meeting her gaze. “I’m not going,” I accidently snap.

            I’m just reaching the entrance to the shed when I stop in my tracks.

            “Well, I kind of think you are.” Jacoby stands just outside the doorway with his hands in his jean pockets. He’s smiling but it’s something closer to sad than happy.

            Despite the pounding in my chest, I remember Dove’s words in my head and start to walk around him.

            “Leave me alone,” I mutter, turning my eyes to the ground. I’m about to be home free when his fingers wrap around my arm and gently spin me around. I practically bump into his chest when he turns me, not letting go of his grip.

            “What’s up with you?” I can see hurt and confusion mixed in his eyes. “You’ve been avoiding me and now you’re just being plain mean. What’s going on?”

            Shaking my head, I try to pull away but he doesn’t let me. Our chests are almost touching from how close we are and I can’t tell whether I want to be closer to him or farther away.

            “Stevie,” he murmurs, lifting his other hand. He brushes my hair away from my face and lets his fingers linger for a moment before dropping them limply to his side. “Tell me, please.”

            For a moment I feel sad. Sad, that I can’t go to the fair like everything is normal again. Sad, that no one understands what I’m going through. Sad, that the right thing to do is give up my best friend because he has someone who needs him more. But then, all the hurt, anger and confusion comes up and just like that, the sad is gone.

            “Maybe you should ask your girlfriend,” I tell him bitterly. Finally I pull away from his grasp and put some space between us. I ignore the missing feeling of having him touching me and meet his gaze.

            Jacoby still looks hurt and confused, but now it’s intensified. “What are you talking about?”

            For a second I’m puzzled too. “She didn’t tell you?” Jacoby’s expression is blank. I roll my eyes and throw my hands in the air, frustrated. “Of course she didn’t tell you.”

            Jacoby opens his mouth to respond but I cut him off. There’s no point to this back and forth. I need to end it so he can go back to his family, even if I’m being completely selfish by wishing he didn’t have to.

            “I better go.” I turn on my heel and start to walk away, not daring a backward glance. I don’t realize where I’m going until I wind up in the field behind the plantation house. The tall, yellow grass flicks up around me, brushing my skin.

            “Stevie, stop.” Jacoby’s voice is cold and makes me freeze. I haven’t heard him talk like this since he took me to the pond. “Please, explain to me what’s going on.”

            I don’t turn around at first. In fact, I don’t think I can move. If I tell him I’m just going to make things worse. But if I don’t, that might make things worse too.

            “Dove talked to me.” I let my words hang in the air for a few moments before I face Jacoby and meet his gaze. “She made it pretty clear that I’m ruining everything; that I’m a home wrecker.”

            Jacoby looks appalled and shocked at the same time. “What?”

            I think I made things worse.

            “Stevie, you are not a home wrecker,” he objects, taking a step towards me. I hold my hands up to tell him to stay where he is. When he’s close to me, touching me even, I have a tendency to get distracted.

            “Think about it, Jacoby.” The hostility in my words is harsher than I anticipated. “You, Dove and your daughter were fine before I came back. Now I’m back and I’m ruining your family.”

            “You’re not ruining anything-“

            I cut Jacoby off again.

            “Please, just leave me alone. I don’t want to make things worse and have Dove-“

            Jacoby cuts me off this time.

            “Leave Dove out of this!” He shouts, his arms raised above his head. “Can this not just be about you and me?”

            I don’t know how to respond to his words or his yelling so I stay dead silent and hope my face is as blank as it feels. Without warning, Jacoby is walking towards me and I’m too frozen to move away. He wraps his arms around me, his eyes meeting mine but doesn’t pull me in for a hug.

            “I never stopped loving you,” Jacoby murmurs.

            I don’t know how we got here, to being inches from each other’s faces. A minute ago we were fighting, I was hurt and angry, and now I don’t know what I am other than confused. Jacoby just dropped a bomb on me. Well, not a real bomb, but more of something though amazing, is going to make this only so much harder.

            Jacoby moves his head closer to mine and I feel like I want to run around in circles with my hands in the air, screaming with joy. But also, I want to pull away, because my head is telling me that this is wrong. However my heart is telling me that this is right.

            He cups my jaw with his palm brushing against my neck. He pulls me into him and our lips graze against each other. His grip around me tightens and I’m fully pressed against his chest with no room to move.

            The kiss starts out slow. It’s completely new to the both of us and even though I’m kissing Jacoby back, I’m scared that I’m not moving at all because of how surprised I am. I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe I’m kissing my best friend. I can’t believe he’s in love with me.

            Jacoby gently nips my bottom lip between his teeth before letting it go and kissing me again. Nothing about the kiss is forced or even awkward, like I’ve always worried about. It’s simple, yet the best thing I’ve ever experienced.  

            I still feel like I want to run around screaming with my arms in the air though.

            When we pull apart I don’t think I can move; I don’t want to. Jacoby pulls his head back and rests his forehead against mine. I keep my eyes closed, not daring to open them and let this moment fade.

            “That was…” Jacoby starts.

            “Insane,” I mumble, using the word that I constantly use to describe him.

            “Well, I was going for something along the lines of amazing but I guess that works too.” I hear him laugh and I bet he’s grinning, but I still refuse to look. “Are you going to open your eyes?”

            I shake my head, squeezing them shut even tighter.

            “I guess I have no choice…” He trails off and before I know it his forehead is no longer touching mine. I scream as Jacoby picks me up and swings me into his arms. My eyes instantly fly open and I immediately see him smirking, looking smug, as usual. “Oh, Stevie! There you are! I was looking for you!”

            I shoot him a look. “You’re not funny,” I tell him even though I’m smiling.

            “I wasn’t trying to be. I seriously thought I lost you.”

            I glare and he pretends to drop me, making me scream again.

            “Put me down,” I object, banging my fists on his chest. I get the opposite effect I planned on because Jacoby’s laughing at my sad attempt of escaping.

            Jacoby steals a quick kiss on my lips before chucking again. “I forgot how cute you are when I annoy you.”

            My glare deepens. “I forgot how much you enjoy annoying me.”

            Jacoby starts walking around the field showing no sign of setting me on my feet. He continues to pretend to drop me and throw me up in the air, catching me every time even though I keep screaming like I’m going to die.

            We’re halfway through the first field when Jacoby pretends to drop me. It takes me a second to realize that he’s no longer pretending but instead falling backwards into the tall grass, creating the perfect, human-sized patch of flattened grass for me to fall in.

            I land on his chest with a thump and Jacoby quickly rolls me over until I’m lying on my back.

            “Are you okay?”

            “Peachy,” I reply sarcastically. “But yes, I’m okay.”

            He smiles before gently kissing me again. “Good.”

            He lies back onto the grass with his arms behind his head. I rest the back of my own on his right arm and stare up at the sky. With the tall grass around us I feel like we’re in our own, secret hideaway, free from everything else in the world. I can’t even see a tree unless I sit up.

            “Can we stay here forever?” I wonder aloud.

            “Of course,” Jacoby replies, smiling. “As long as you spend forever with me.”