Chapter NINE

The fall carnival was being set up that weekend, downtown. It had been tradition, since we were toddlers, that my dad and Bruce took Kane and I every year. We went on rides, played games and always went home filled up with cotton candy and corn dogs.

   The best year was when I was ten, Kane eleven. It was the first year that my mom came along, with Andy, who was not even two. It was also the first year that Kane and I were allowed to wander around together, on our own, for awhile. We rode the ferris wheel and bumper cars, and Kane played a balloon popping game, winning me a stuffed pink cat. The very next year, Kane wanted to go to the fair with his other friends and I ended up only riding baby rides with Andy.

   Now, I was torn between excitement for the carnival being in town, and anger about how everything had happened recently. The last few years, Kaylee and Georgia and I had gone together, and had had so much fun. But this year, I knew Kaylee was going on a date with Ryan, and I was happy that she was giving him a chance. Georgia was taking her little sister, who was eleven. I didn't want to tag along as a third wheel to either of those.

   Saturday morning came, and Andy scarfed back his breakfast in record time.

   "Ready!" he shouted, tossing his bowl into the sink.

   "It's 9A.M. The carnival opens at 11," my mom laughed.

   "Are you coming, Marley?" Andy asked me, now doing jumping jacks in front of me, his hair floppy around on his forehead. He was a seven year old with a lot of energy.

   I shook my head. "I don't think so."

   "C'mon, Mar. I know things aren't perfect right now -"

   "Things are terrible, actually. You don't really know," I said, standing up. I hadn't said much about any of the drama, to her. I mostly just wanted to keep it from my parents.

   "Dramatic, much?" she replied, looking at me with an annoyed look. "I'm just trying to help."

   "Mom, I really don't feel like going to the stupid carnival."

   Again, she looked hurt by my words, and she glanced at Andy, who thankfully wasn't paying much attention. "Well, maybe tomorrow," she added.

   I just shrugged at her, leaving it at that.

   Georgia called an hour later, trying to convince me to go to the carnival, as well.

  "Just come! Lainey and I are super fun!" she teased me, after I told her that I didn't want to go.

   "I just... it doesn't feel right," I told her.

   "Are you afraid of running into people from school? All the cool kids are probably going later, anyway," she laughed.

   This was true. The carnival ran from morning to midnight, for two days. I likely wouldn't see anyone school there in the afternoon. But still, I didn't feel like getting dressed, let alone going out to the carnival.

   "Sorry, I am just not in the mood," I finished, knowing I was probably disappointing her. At least she didn't push it any further.

   I wasted the whole day watching Netflix, still in my pajamas. My hair was a mess, and I had completely skipped lunch and dinner, besides some chips from an open bag on the counter. It was 7P.M. when the doorbell rang, but I still didn't move.

   "I'll get it!" Andy yelled, running through the room. He had had a blast at the fair, that afternoon. I'd heard all about the rides and the petting zoo and the caramel apple he ate. A moment later, he yelled for me. "Marley! Someone's here for you!"

   I sat up quickly, but had no idea who it could be. I hadn't even talked to anyone all day - basically I'd been a hermit. I stood up and crossed the living room cautiously. Andy ran off when I neared the doorway.

   "Marley! Hey, girl!" It was Mandee, wearing a short skirt and a tight top and too much makeup. She had never been to my house before, so I blinked, wondering if this was real.

   "Uh, hey," I said, when she was still there, standing on the front deck. Suddenly I was too aware of my wardrobe. I wasn't even wearing a bra.

   "We are here to bring you to the carnival," she said, like I should have been expecting her.

   I stepped back. "Uh, no thank you."

   "No thank you? I didn't ask, did I?" she said, letting out a loud laugh. "Come on!"

   "I'm not really ready," I said stupidly.

   "We can wait," she smiled.

   "Who's we?"

   She pointed to the car, on the road. "Gibson, Mel and Kyler."

   "Oh. Uh, I really don't think I-"

   "Come on. We are all going as friends. It's going to be great. And we've missed you at school. Things got so weird," Mandee went on. I didn't even know if she knew why things had gotten weird.

   "I just don't think I should go," I said again.

   "You should. Go get dressed."

   I thought about it for a minute. I played it all out in my head. Even if Kane was there, he wouldn't start another fight, in front of everyone at the carnival. He had a reputation and he knew better than that. If I was going to the carnival with them, as friends, what could really go wrong?

   "Okay," I finally said.

   "Oh, yes!" Mandee squealed, clapping her hands together.

   Upstairs, I tossed off my pajamas and pulled out jeans, a tank top and a sweater. I brushed my teeth and my hair, then put on mascara. Running back downstairs, I called out to my mom.

   "I'm going out to the carnival!"

   She appeared from the kitchen, her eyes looking me up and down. "You are?"

   "Yeah. Okay?" I said quickly.

   "With who?"

   "Uh, Mandee? She's a senior, but -"

   "Okay, have fun, sweetie. Home by midnight," she smiled, and blew me a kiss. I was sure she was just happy that I wasn't in a bad mood any longer.

   "Thanks," I said, waving quickly before grabbing my purse, then heading out the door.

   The drive downtown was quick, and consisted of me squeezed against the door, trying not to touch Kyler, in the backseat. It was uncomfortable and I just wanted to get out of the car. I just looked out the window until we pulled into the parking lot. Finally, Mandee parked and everyone started to get out.

   I was surprised - to say the least - when Kyler grabbed my hand. "Hey, I'm glad you came."

   "I... well..." I stuttered, feeling overwhelmed.

   "It's just me," he tried to reassure me, smiling that big smile.

   "You didn't text me all week," I accused him. It was true. I hadn't talked to him at all.

   "I know."

   "So?"

   "I didn't know what to do. I still don't. But I'm glad you're here," he finished.

   The five of us really had a good time together, for the first hour. It felt like we'd been friends for years, and I was glad to feel comfortable hanging out with them again. Maybe a carnival night was all I needed to relax. We waited in the lines for the roller coaster and the ferris wheel, and afterwards I ran into Kaylee and Ryan, in the line for cotton candy, with Mel. Kaylee looked surprised to see me, but hugged me right away. I hadn't told her - or Georgia - that I was going to the carnival at all.

   "Wow, I'm glad to see you," she said in my ear.

   "I'll tell you about it later. Having fun?" I asked her.

   She smiled at Ryan. "So much."

   "Text me later?" I asked, as I move forward in line.

   "You know it," she grinned at me, turning back towards Ryan again.