Chapter 26

Everything got a lot more awkward, in general, after that. I no longer had to worry about Kyler, but I had enough drama in my house that I wished I could just disappear. My parents were whisper-fighting all the time, and I couldn't stand to be in the same room as my dad. He just looked at me like he was just waiting to yell 'I told you so!' at any moment. I just started being at  home less and less, which did not make my parents very happy. But I just wanted them to leave me alone.

   I stopped going to Sunday dinners, after a couple of weeks of Kane staying home. It was in February - the very first dinner that I missed. I felt strange, like it was the end something, but the start of something else.  Plus, I felt like I was abandoning my brother. But after I spent a couple of Sunday evenings in Trenton's basement, it started to feel just fine. It was easy to forget the drama at my house. I was with Kane, which was exactly where I wanted to be.

   By Spring, my relationship with my parents was really suffering. Instead of talking, I avoided them. They mostly let me, besides small talk at breakfast. But my mom still texted me throughout the day, asking to let her know I was okay.  And I always did. My dad, now, avoided eye contact and speaking me with completely. He was obviously disappointed in how I was disregarding his opinion. But I just didn't care. Or maybe I cared, but not enough to do anything about it.

   We rarely spent time at Kane's house, since we didn't exactly want to answer to Bruce and Carla, either. But some days after school, we would go there, to make out in his bedroom while they were still at work.

   This specific Thursday was no different. The final bell rang and I went straight to my locker to grab my sweater and my bag, then walked to the back doors of the school to find Kane.

   "Marley!" I heard Georgia calling me from behind.

   I turned back, smiling at her. She, Kaylee and I had become somewhat close again, but things were definitely different. Kaylee had Ryan, I had Kane and Georgia was missing us, bad. I tried to spend as much time with her as I could, at school.

   "Hey," I said to her, waiting for her to catch up.

  We had classes together and saw each other regularly, but I hadn't really hung out with her in months. She looked like she always did, her hair braided, her glasses down on her nose a bit. She was wearing her favourite green hoodie.

   "I want to plan a party for Kaylee's birthday, this weekend," she said. My heart skipped.

   I had forgotten my best friend's birthday. She was the oldest of the three of us, her birthday was March, mine July, and Georgia's September. She'd be the first to turn seventeen.

   "Oh yeah," I said now, smiling again. "We should do that."

   Her face lit up. "You'll help me?"

   "Of course. I'll even host it," I said quickly, regretting it almost instantly.

   "Oh, yay! I'll text you later, we can plan it?" she asked, then gave me a hug.

   "Okay," I nodded. "Great."

   Kane was waiting for me, leaning against that tree. Everyone else was gone, which was strange.

   "Hey," I said to him.

   He looked up. "Hey."

   "Where's everyone?" I asked him, leaning in for a kiss.

   He kissed me, holding me close for a moment. "Trenton had some family thing, and Jessie just left."

   "Oh, so -"

   "My place?" he interrupted, grinning at me.

   Kane's bedroom was like this secret place that I felt more comfortable than I ever had, anywhere else. His bed felt so comfortable, so familiar as I laid down, him lowering himself on top of me. We had only gone as far as making out - Kane knew I'd never had sex and I knew that he wanted to. But he always stopped, even when he didn't want to. We'd been dating four months now, and yet it felt like he'd always been there, holding my hand and keeping my heart safe.

   Now, he was kissing me, gently and slowly, his hands at my face.

   "I love you," he whispered. "You know?"

   "I know," I said, my eyes closed.

   We made out for awhile, his hands wandering a bit but always going back to my face. He was breathing heavy, and I knew more than ever that he wanted to do more. It was Kane, of course he would be my first. And now was as good a time as any. I reached down and pulled at his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. He was surprised, but started kissing me again, smiling at the same time. A few minutes later, I didn't stop him as he pulled off my shirt. He kissed my neck, chest, stomach - I was aching for him in a way I'd never felt before, and he knew it.

   "Are you sure?" he asked, breathing in and out fast.

   I nodded, then undid my pants and slid them off. His pants were off in a second and we continued to make out, in our underwear for a couple of minutes. I did not know what to expect, but I knew it was Kane and that was all that mattered. 

   "Kane?"

   We both froze, at the sound of Carla's voice outside his bedroom door.

   We hadn't heard her come in, we'd been too distracted. My heart was pounding as I hurried to cover myself with Kane's blanket.

   "What?" Kane called out, not moving. He did not want this moment to be ruined, but it was.

   "I saw your car. Um, I just brought in the mail. Your collage letters are here," Carla went on. She was so close to me, naked in Kane's bed, just on the other side of the door.

   I could see Kane's brain over thinking this. He avoiding looking at me as he got off his bed, grabbed his pants from the floor and pulled them back on. Slowly, he opened the door just a crack.

   "Thanks," he said, grabbing the letters.

   "How are you and Marley?" she wanted to know, the door still only open a tiny bit. She didn't know I was there.

   "We're good," he nodded, then closed the door.

   I was already putting my clothes back on when he came back over to the bed. He glanced at me, smiling, but I hated how awkward this was.

   "Sorry, that was..." he said, not even finishing.

   "No, it's fine," I told him.

   "Did you really want to?" he asked. "I know we haven't talked about it, and we were in the moment -"

   "Kane, yes. I want to," I said, smiling.

   "Okay, good." He grinned, then kissed me.

   "So, your college letters? You didn't tell me where you applied," I told him, changing the subject.

   His smile faded. "I don't want to talk about that. I only applied to get my dad off my back."

   "You're going to college, Kane. You're too smart not to."

   He shook his head. "I'm not leaving you."

   "We will figure that out," I said, squeezing his hand.

   "I said no. I'm not leaving you behind."

   "My Dad was being a jerk when he said that," I said, letting out a laugh. I wanted this conversation to be over, as much as he did.

   "Yeah, but he's right. I'm a year older, and -"

   "Kane."

   "No!" he yelled, then took a deep breath. Finally, he let it out. "Sorry -"

   I was surprised, but how quickly he'd gotten upset about it. "I'm going to go. I'll text you later," I told him, standing up.

   I wanted him to beg me to the stay, or grab my hand and pull me into a kiss. But he didn't. He didn't even look at me as I turned away again. Then he let me walk out of his room, down the stairs and out the front door.