Chapter EIGHTEEN

And that was when everything really changed for me, for us. It was easier to go hang out at Trenton's, get high, watch the guys play video games, than it was to deal with Kaylee and fixing what had happened between us. I had some moments of guilt thinking about Georgia, and leaving her behind, but I knew she wouldn't understand.

   As fall turned to early winter, I was barely talking to Kaylee at all. Georgia continued to try so hard to act like everything was fine - like it all hadn't changed- but she still sat beside Kaylee in class, and followed her to her locker at lunch - when I headed to Kane, Trenton and Jessie.

   I hung out at Trenton's often enough that my parents didn't question much - I wasn't out late, I wasn't going to parties and getting drunk, and I still stayed home with Andy when they needed me. They didn't know about Trenton's basement, or the pot, or that I wasn't hanging out with Kaylee and Georgia at all.

   Being at Trenton's was so, well, easy. I could walk there, walk right in and feel completely comfortable. Tracy, as she'd told me to please call her, was usually around, and sometimes Trenton's sister, Abby, was there, too, often with her friends. But the basement was becoming like a second home for me, like it already was for Kane. Sometimes there were other people there, usually guys Trenton hung out with at school - but generally it was just the three of us. Jessie wasn't allowed at Trenton's during the week, I had found out. Apparently her parents weren't fond of Trenton at all.

   "I'm a bad influence," he laughed, when they told me the story, one Saturday evening in November.

   "My parents are... strict. Which is why my brother and I like to push their limits," Jessie smiled at me, pushing her glasses up her nose a bit.

   But still, she was never there during the week, so I figured she really didn't break too many rules her parents set out for her. Saturday evenings were always the four of us, listening to music, getting high, laughing, telling stories. It was my favourite part of the week.

   School was going fine, really. Exams were in a few weeks and I was down to one councilling session a week, with Mr. Cole, and they were shorter and shorter each week. He was in his mid fifties and had teenagers of his own - but he listened to me when I had something to talk about and was happy when I told him that I actually felt good. Besides the awkwardness with Kaylee, I was getting my school work done, passing tests, meeting my parents expectations.

   Sunday dinners were the best they'd been in years, and the adults were noticing.

   "You've graced us with your presence three Sundays in a row," my Dad laughed, as Kane came in and kicked off his shoes. Bruce and Carla had already arrived.

   Kane just smiled, then looked at me. I was in the kitchen, cutting up vegetables for our salad. We had an agreement that we wouldn't tell our parents we were spending so much time together, as we knew they would over react, one way or the other.

   "You two seem to be getting along good these days," Carla said, while we were all at the dining room table, eating.

   Kane and I were next to each other, though generally I made the effort to avoid sitting close to him, or really talking to him at Sunday dinner at all. But we had been estranged, per se, for so long, that now we were making up for lost time. Kane, still, just smiled, crunching on a carrot stick.  I looked at Carla, then to my Mom, then back to Kane. I guess this was all on me.

   "We are," I said, nodding.

   "Great, and staying out of trouble?" Bruce let out a laugh.

   "Of course," I agreed.

   My dad looked suspicious, but kept quiet. My mom couldn't stop smiling.

   That evening, as I did my homework in my bedroom, she knocked, asking to come in. I put down my calculus textbook as she entered. She was short, thin and had whispy dark hair - I had always been told that I looked exactly how she did when she was my age.

   "Dad is interested, but won't ask you himself. So, what's the deal with you and Kane?" She didn't waste any time.

   "Mom," I started. "We just... started hanging out again."

   "But, you two have been... awkward... for years. And especially recently, with -"

   "We worked out our differences, I guess," I told her.

   Suddenly she was beaming. "Honey, I'm so happy to hear that!"

   "Mom, it's Kane," I said, like this was so obvious.

   "I know," she finished.

   When exam week came, the school was filled with excitement. Just a few days of exams and then we'd all be off for two weeks, for Winter break. I'd heard lots of people discussing plans, parties, vacations. Georgia - who still talked to me when Kaylee wasn't around - was going south for Christmas with her family.

   "You better be around more on the break," Trenton said to Jessie, holding her close to him, out the back gym doors.

   Jessie grinned at him. "I have a plan," she said. "But I need Marley."

   I looked at her, confused. She and I were friends, for sure, but I only saw her at school, and on Saturdays at Trenton's house. We didn't have a lot in common - she had a nose ring and a tattoo, she smoked, cigarettes and pot, and she hated her parents.

   "A plan?" I questioned her.

   It was Monday before the exams began. I had two, back to back. I knew I was more than prepared, as I'd spent the night before studying alone.

   "Yes, I just need you to meet my parents, and make a good impression. Then I can tell them I'm at your house, and -"

   I swallowed hard. Trenton burst out laughing, and Kane looked amused, too.

   "Okay," I said quickly. "Let's do it."

   "Really?" Jessie looked shocked, obviously thinking she'd have to talk me into this.

   "Her parents are hardcore," Trenton added.

   "I can handle it," I told them.

   By Thursday, I was done my exams, and felt pretty good about them. I was getting stuff out of my locker to bring home from Winter break, not thinking about anything, besides leaving with Kane. I had over come the feeling of being afraid at school. I'd even seen Kyler in the hallway, from a distance, or out in the field, and I didn't have a meltdown. I'd spoken with Mandee and Gibson a couple of times in passing; they'd told me they had ditched Kyler completely, as well.

   But now, as someone said my name from behind my locker door, my heart jumped. It was a girl's voice, and I slowly closed the door to find out who it was.

   "Marley, right?" She was tall, blonde and had green eyes and freckles. She was pretty, but simple looking. I didn't think I'd ever seen her before.

   "Yeah?" I said.

   "I'm Marisa. I don't know if you heard about -"

   "Oh, uh, yeah," I fumbled on the words. I didn't even know that she - Kyler's ex - went to our school. That part was never relayed to me.

   "Okay. Well, I actually just wanted to thank you," she said.

   "For what?" I wanted to know. My heart was pounding hard.

   "Before... what he did he to you, I was still watching my back, hoping he wouldn't show up somewhere that I was. But I was too scared to go to the police about it. He tried to... he did the same thing to me, Marley. And then I ended it, and he got charged for beating up my new boyfriend a month later, but -"

   "I'm sorry, I can't -" I interrupted, stepping back. How did she know these things about me? Did everyone know?

   "Marley, you were brave for reporting it. I didn't report what he did to me..." she went on.

   I had to get out of there, I couldn't look at her for another second. It was crazy how fast I could get sucked back into this fear, this feeling of shame, guilt, denial.  And suddenly I remembered about Kyler saying Kane had slept with her, this girl standing right in front of me, and none of what I thought I knew made sense. And I was not okay, even though I had thought that I was.