Chapter SIXTEEN

"Marley, hey."

  I heard a voice, and someone was touching my arm. I opened my eyes slowly, realizing I was still in Kane's car and he was still sitting beside me.

   "You want to go to fourth period?" he asked.

   I thought really hard but I couldn't remember what fourth period was on Monday. My brain felt foggy, but I smiled at Kane.

  "No, not at all."

  "You gonna get in trouble?" he wanted to know.

   I shook my head. "Don't care."

   But suddenly he looked disappointed. "Fuck, I can't be responsible for you missing classes. This was a bad idea."

   "No, it was a good idea," I smiled. "I like hanging out with you."

   "You just slept for twenty minutes," he laughed, and it surprised me.

   "Oh. Well, still, I do."

   "I've always wanted to hang out with you more, Marley," Kane admitted, after a moment. "But you ended up hating me ever since I started... trying to look out for you."

   "Hating you?" I repeated, squinting at him.

   He was rubbing another joint between his fingers. His hair was in his eyes; he was just quiet. I wanted to know what he was thinking. My face felt funny and my stomach was growling, now.

   "Do you want to go to my place?" he finally asked, and I just nodded, not having to say anything else.

   Where are you? Kaylee texted me during fourth period.

   I tried typing back to her but I couldn't focus, so I put my phone down. I hadn't been to Kane's new house many times, and never in his bedroom. It was tidy, with a big bed, small dresser and a laptop open on a desk in the corner. The floor creaked by his bed when I crossed the room. It was quiet, but he clicked on something on the laptop and some music started playing. I sat on the bed, so he sat on the chair, at the desk.

   "You feel okay?" he asked, pushing his hair out of his face.

   I nodded. "Yeah. I feel pretty good, actually."

   "Good," he grinned, then added, "Here." He reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a bag of M&Ms, then tossed them towards me.

   "Oh, I love you," I said quickly, ripping the bag open. "I mean, thanks."

   He laughed, and then it was quiet again for a few minutes. "Marley... I've always cared about you. You know that, right?" I looked up, but said nothing. "But when your dad basically told me that it was my job to keep you safe... it was hard."

   "My dad's a dick," I said, shaking my head. "That wasn't fair to you."

   "Honestly, I wanted to keep you out of trouble. But the more I tried, the more you pushed me away."

   This really was true, and so terrible. I had been so focused on doing whatever I wanted, hanging out with the cool kids, that I didn't realize that Kane hadn't been trying to be a jerk. And while I hated that he was trying to boss me around then, now I knew my dad had put him up to it. And though it didn't matter now, I really should have listened to him.

   "I'm sorry I was so terrible to you," I told him, then tossed a few more M&Ms in my mouth.

   "No," he shook his head. "You don't have to apologize. It's still going to take me a long time to forgive myself for this happening to you. I should have protected you."

   "We can pretend everything is fine for today, right?" I asked, changing the subject.

   He smiled. "You still high?"

   I nodded, as my cell phone started to ring. I looked at it, like I'd never heard it ring before. Kane was watching me.

   "Hello?" I answered. I knew it was Kaylee.

   "Marley, where are you?" she yelled into my ear. "You seemed weird at lunch and then you disappeared. We've been worried."

   "Right, yeah, sorry," I said, not explaining anything.

   "So, where are you?"

   "Um, I'm at Kane's," I told her, the words even sounding weird to myself.

   "Kane's? Are you with him?" Kaylee was definitely surprised.

   "Yeah." I cleared my throat.

   "So, you just skipped the rest of the day?" She sounded upset with me.

   "I was just... loosing it," I admitted.

   "Well I'm glad you're okay. Call me later?" Kaylee finished.

   "I will," I said, then ended the call and dropped my phone onto the bed.

   "Shit, it's four o'clock," Kane said, looking at his laptop now. "Carla will be home soon."

   "Should I go?" I asked, unsure.

   "I can drive you. I'm going to head to Trenton's anyway," he replied.

   I guess my high was wearing off, because I was questioning everything as I sat next to Kane, in his car, ten minutes later. Why had I even started hanging out with the stoners? Why had I smoked weed? And why did I think being at Kane's house was a good idea at all?

   I didn't even say goodbye to Kane when we pulled up to my house, I just grabbed my bag and got out, speed-walking up the path to the front door.

   "The school called," my mom told me as I walked into the kitchen. I tried to pretend like I didn't hear her. "Marley."

   "Mom, please. I'm tired," I said. It was true, at least.

   "I know you're still adjusting, but... you can't just not go to class. Where were you?" she asked, looking at me like I was a lost puppy, finally home.

   "I needed a break. Kane and I left -"

   "You were with Kane all afternoon?" she interrupted. I couldn't read her expression.

   "Yeah. Can I go now?"

   "Okay. No more leaving school without signing out, please," she finished.

   I nodded at her and then headed to my room. My stomach growled again; I hadn't eaten since breakfast, besides the M&Ms at Kane's. But I wanted to avoid my parents until I felt normal again. I had an hour until dinner, so I sat on my bed with my laptop open, checking email and my socials, trying to ignore my stomach. Coming down from being high for the first time was so strange. I knew Kaylee and Georgia would disapprove, and my parents would totally lose their minds if they knew. My mom still thought Kane was perfect.

   Dinner was pasta with chicken, and salad, and I sat beside Andy, eating fast. He laughed, obviously noticing how I was scarfing it down. My dad looked happy that I was eating, since I hadn't felt hungry much lately.

   "So, mom says you were with Kane this afternoon?" my Dad said to me, before sipping his water.

   I was almost finished eating, so close to getting out of there without a confrontation.

   "I was," I nodded.

   "You two are friendly again?" he asked, then swirled some pasta around with his fork.

   "We've always been friends," I said, but knew this wasn't true.

   "Well, I'm glad. But don't make a habit of playing hooky."

   "What's hooky?" Andy asked, laughing.

   "Nothing. It's a high school thing," I answered.

   My dad smiled, which I hadn't seen him do in awhile. I knew he could not find out that Kane had introduced me to weed. I did not need any other reason for my parents to think Kane was anything but a good kid.

   I had never thought about smoking weed, like, ever. Drinking a beer or two at a party was one thing, but this? I hated that I had another secret to keep.