Chapter ELEVEN

The missed call was from Mandee, and now I wished I had answered it at the time. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. I was speed-walking through the still crowded carnival, pressing CALL BACK. Then I put my phone to my ear.

   "Hey, where are you?" Mandee answered, oblivious to what had just happened to me.

   I was breathing heavy, my heart still pounding. "I'm... uh..." I looked around. "Near the merry-go-round."

   "Why'd you take off? And have you seen Kyler? Oh..." she said, then laughed. "Are you with Kyler?"

   "I'm not," I snapped, still walking fast, away from wherever he was.

   "Oh. Okay, well, Gibson and I were thinking of leaving. We have Mel with us -"

   "I'm fine, actually," I said. "I'll call my mom."

   "Are you sure? We can give you a ride home."

   "Yes, I'm sure."

   "Okay..."

   Awkward.

   I hung up, shoving my phone back into my pocket. I looked around quickly, but didn't see him anywhere. He wasn't stupid enough to chase me, I guess. I wished so badly to run into Kaylee now, but I didn't see her anywhere, either. So after another minute, I decided to text her instead.

   Kay, I need you.

   Buzz. What's wrong?

   Are you still here?

   We are on the ferris wheel. Again.

   Will you hate me if I crash your date?

   Of course not.

   Waiting for her to get off the ferris wheel felt like an eternity. I kept looking around to make sure Kyler wasn't near me. I was holding it together, but when Kaylee was in front of me, I broke down. She grabbed my hand and we were out of there so fast, to the parking lot. It was a lot less crowded by now and much quieter than it was inside the gates of the carnival. Ryan followed, but gave us space.

   I was crying, tears just pouring down my face, and Kaylee was hugging me, shhhing me and rubbing my head. She had no idea what had happened, but it didn't matter.

   "What is it?" she whispered. "What happened?"

   I shook my head. I couldn't say the words. I was embarrassed, and just plain in shock.

   "Hey, it's okay. Let's get you home,"

   I nodded, and we walked a bit more to Ryan's car, where he was waiting. I tucked myself into the back seat, finally feeling safe. Kaylee told Ryan how to get to my house, and I stared out the window, silent, for the drive.

   "I'll call you," I whispered to her, before I got out of the car.

   She nodded, squeezed my hand and then let me go.

   It was only ten-thirty, and both of my parents were awake, in the family room. The TV was on. I waved as I passed, but did not want to stop and talk.

   "Home early," my dad commented.

   "How was it?" my mom chimed in.

   I glanced at her for a second, but then looked away. I couldn't lie to her face. "Good."

   She could probably tell something was wrong, but I hurried up to my room, closing the door. Finally, I let out a huge breath I'd been holding in and fell onto my bed, sobbing again. I knew I should call Kaylee. I felt like I needed to text Kane and tell him that I was sorry. I wanted to run back downstairs and tell my mom, and let her hold me while I cried. But instead I just closed my eyes, pulling my blankets up to my chin and fell asleep.

   I woke up at 6A.M., from a nightmare that Kyler was chasing me through the carnival. Panting, I grabbed my phone. Four texts, two from Kaylee, asking if I was okay. One from Mandee and one from Kyler. I deleted the last one and put my phone down again. I had no idea what I was going to do.

   I sat in the kitchen a couple hours later, with my dad and Andy. Mom had left for an early manicure appointment. Dad had made pancakes, but my stomach hurt and I couldn't eat. I didn't know how long I could pretend I was fine.

   "Did you go on the roller coaster?" Andy asked me, cutting up his pancakes.

   "Yeah," I nodded at him.

   "Ah, Mom wouldn't let me. Did you go on the ferris wheel?"

   I nodded, but I could only think of Kyler. How he sat beside me on the ferris wheel, smiling. Was he planning what he had done? Or did he just take the opportunity as he came?

   "Wasn't it great? I could see the whole town from up there!" Andy went on.

   "Yeah," I said again.

   I noticed my dad watching me. He was trying to figure out what was going on. I ignored him and finally sent a message back to Kaylee, when I was done pretending to eat breakfast.

   Can you come get me?

   Of course. Be there in ten, she replied.

   I smiled to myself, because I knew she would drop everything, or jump out of bed, to come and pick me up when I needed her.

   We were in the cafe around the corner half an hour later, sitting at a two person table in the back, with our lattes. She was staring at me, tapping her cup, waiting. I wanted to tell her everything, but I felt like I couldn't talk at all.

   "Kay..." I finally began. "I... he..."

   "God, Marley, what happened?" Now she looked scared more than worried.

   Tears filled my eyes, knowing I had to tell her now. I took in a breath and just held it, thinking maybe if I didn't let it out, I could avoid this all together. Maybe we could pretend the carnival was amazing, or maybe we could just talk about her date with Ryan. But I knew she was waiting for me to explain why I'd had to get out of there so fast.

   "Kyler and I... we were hanging out, walking around. He played a game, and won me this stupid unicorn..." I said, thinking of where it might have ended up after all of that. "And then we were making out, behind one of the rides..." Kaylee was still just staring, unsure of what was going to come out of my mouth next. "But he started to... he was trying... and I told him to stop..."

   "Oh my god, Marley," Kaylee said, too loud, grasping for my hands across the table.

   "He had his hand down my pants and I was trying to get away," I whispered, sobbing. I couldn't believe this had even happened to me, and that I was telling my best friend in public, over lattes. "He was just holding my arm tight, but finally I was able to kick him... and I ran."

   "Marley... I'm so sorry," she said, a blank look on her face. She then started crying, tears just pouring down her cheeks, she wasn't even wiping them away.

   I blinked, staring at my hands. This didn't seem real. This type of thing wasn't supposed to happen to me. I hadn't thought about having to see him at school, until that very moment. Or what Kane would do if he found out.

   "I'm going to kill him," Kaylee went on, squeezing my hands again.

   "I don't want anyone to know," I said stupidly.

   "Marley, no, you have to tell. He has to have consequences, or he will -"

   I dropped her hands, raising them up in front of me. "I can't. My parents just can't find out. And Kane..."

   "Oh, I won't have to kill Kyler, because Kane will," Cassie said seriously.

   "Please don't tell anyone," I repeated.

   "Of course, I won't. But you should," she told me.

   I thought about it all day. I thought about telling my mom. Or just walking myself to the police station and reporting it. But I just couldn't. I didn't want anyone to know that I was so stupid to have let this happen. I did not want to admit they were right this whole time.