„I'll go with you...", Jongdae had whispered to me and now he would pull me softly by my hand to follow his steps. The sun was blinded our eyes when we were walking towards the blue sea that was kissing the golden beach with its little waves.

The smell of saltwater and fish was in the air, but also the scent of freedom and vacation. It was a feeling of joy to walk by the beach and let the waves tease your toes, to inhale the fresh air and to feel the warmth of a summer on your sunkissed skin.

However, for us there also was this feeling I would describe as fear, but stronger. The sound of the water only caused panic in my veins, my feet were prepared to run, my mouth opened to scream.

For a while we just stood there and stared at the dreadful water, and the longer we had watched the waves, the tighter we held each others hands.

„Are you ready, Jia?", the man who squeezed my hand worriedly asked.

„I am...", I nodded genuinely and stepped closer towards the sea. My bare feet were meeting wet sand where they touched the ground.

„Jia...", Jongdae tried to gather my attention, but I just walked even further towards the sea, until the
cold water was brushing over my feet.

The stormy breeze from the ocean carried away the following words, Jongdae shouted after me. I was walking straight into the water and didn't mind my dress getting wet. When the water was splashing around my knees I stopped and turned around to see the beloved man and smiled. I could clearly see his mouth moving but what left his lips, I couldn't hear from the far.

A little confused I shrugged my shoulders, then I decided to ignore his shouting. He had said everything he wanted to, right?

With a deep breath I squinted at the purple horizon and chuckled happily.

Purple used to be my favourite colour.

My hand slided into the pocket and I got out what I cherished the most.

Xiumin's ring and the shell, Bo had given to me. I had been carrying it with me everywhere I went.

Rapt in thought I glanced at the two items and trailed them between my fingers so the setting sun would shine onto them.

Was it worth it, to do what I did?

With a look back at Jongdae who was still standing at the beach, forcing himself to smile for me, I nodded to myself.

It was worth it indeed.

A last time I stared at the bright sun right before me and tried to mesmerize the colors.

The sun would set soon...

Still, I remained there for a while, before I balled my hands to fists and put my arms behind my head. When I let them rebound to the front I let the two treasured items slip away from my hands and threw them into the dark blue.

Let the past be past.

With a smile planted on my lips I stepped back again and headed towards Jongdae, who had watched me from the beach.

Happily I stared at the man who trusted me more than anyone else and who still loved me after all this time.

Time changes... But the memories, good or bad, they would stay forever.

And Jongdae treasured this memories a lot... Because he had learned to let go.

„Thanks for helping me...", I thanked him lovingly and wrapped my arms around his waist.

„I didn't do anything... This was you alone.", he chuckled into my ears and suddenly I became proud.

I didn't give up, I accepted instead.

I accepted my life, my child, my grandchildren. Maybe I should have accepted love, maybe I still will.

I accepted myself.

But all those years I never let go of the past. Because I thought the past was what made me suffer... but my past strengthened me in every way. It made me who I am. And I can say I'm proud to be myself.

Now I see.

With wide eyes I looked into Jongdaes and murmered softly towards him: „Do you feel this?"

Jongdae nodded smilingly and tilted his head back so he could look at the darkening sky.

„They are here.", he responded with tears in his eyes and grabbed my chin gently to move my head up.

Breathlessly I opened my mouth and gazed at the two brightly shining stars in the night sky.

And suddenly I felt pure joy and happiness in my heart and I knew they felt the same way.

„They are happy...", I cried out and began to laugh joyfully. Jongdae nodded slowly, as if he had known that all the time, and took both of my hands into his.

„But I feel something else too...", he whispered with the softest voice I had ever heard and stepped closer to my side. My heart started racing when his stinging eyes pierced my soul with pure and true love.

„I may feel that too..."

And we remained together for a little eternity, there on the beach, where the sun sets.

~~~
THE END❤️