Chapter 11

"Are you looking for your brother?" 

I rolled my eyes at Conrad when he appeared beside me while I was walking towards my brother's team garage. I'm here on their racetrack, where they usually train with Red Hunter. The two remaining teams that are their rivals have different racetracks. 

They only see each other on one of the racetracks in this town whenever there's a competition. They don't see each other often aside from being in the same school. All of the seniors graduated from our school. And the rest of the racers are studying there. 

"Don't piss me off, Conrad," I said as I walked. 

"Wala pa nga!" And there he goes, the conyo voice.

"Hi, Prim!" I saw Ivor waving at me before he put on his helmet. 

I waved back and smiled. I also heard Conrad's groan. I ignored him and walked towards my brother, who was sitting on the hood of his car behind Harmony's car. I can feel Conrad's presence behind me, yet I ignored him until I reached my brother. 

I tapped his back, and he looked at me. I smiled and offered the paper bag I was holding. I had a stopover sa isang convenient store to buy him snacks. Ang sabi kasi ng yaya na nasa condo niya ay hindi raw nag-agahan si Kuya. 

Pinuntahan ko siya sa condo niya kanina para sana magbonding kami, kaso sabi ay wala raw ito at pumunta na ng racetrack. Pareho kaming may yaya sa condo, inutos ni Nanna, pero hindi naman sila nagi-stay sa condo. Umaalis sila kapag tapos na ang trabaho nila. 

Papakainin lang nila kami, lilinisin nila ang condo, at ia-update ang Nanna kung ano ang lagay naming dalawa at aalis na sila. Babalik na lamang sila kapag magla-lunch na at dinner kung nasa condo kami. Pero kapag may pasok ay maglilinis at magluluto lang ng breakfast para sa akin. Kay Kuya, ewan ko. 

"You didn't eat sabi ni yaya," I said. 

His eyes softened, and he sighed. Kinuha niya rin ang hawak ko at tinignan ang nasa loob. "I didn't have appetite earlier," he replied. 

"Even so," masungit kong sabi. "You're the one who told me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, yet you're the one who's not eating breakfast."

Ngumuso siya at kinuha na ang nasa paper bag na pagkain. "I'm stressed, and I'm not in the mood to eat kaninang morning. I'm sorry." 

Umirap ako. "Next time, you eat before you go here," I said. "The sun is tirik pa man din! Paano na lang if you're training and you felt dizzy while in the middle of the racetrack?! Paano ka naman nila iche-check?!"

I heard their chuckles. I rolled my eyes at Conrad, who was smirking. I know I sounded so conyo, and he'll tease me about it na naman. This man is really into something! 

"Yes, madam baby! I'll take note of that po," pang-aasar ni Kuya at kinain na ang dala ko. 

I watched him eat the food in front of me. He even offered some to Conrad and Kuya Thirdy, who's beside me. Inaakbayan niya ako habang kausap niya si Kuya tungkol sa strategies na gagawin nila habang nasa likod si Conrad. 

"You go away, Red Hunter! You're spying on their strategy!" I said to him. 

He raised his brow at me and showed me the food he was eating. Ay, he's not yet done eating pa pala? Pero kahit na! He can hear the strategies of my brother and Kuya Thirdy to win the race. What if he'll use that against them? E 'di nanalo naman siya!

"Kailan qualifying ninyo?" I asked. 

"Mamaya," Kuya Thirdy replied. 

"Oh."

A qualifying session is held before each race to determine the order cars will be lined up at the start of the race, with the fastest qualifier starting at the front and the slowest at the back. Drivers who could not set a time for any reason are also relegated to the back.

"E, ba't parang hindi pa kayo nagpe-prepare?" I asked. 

"Hindi kami ang sasabak bukas," Kuya Thirdy replied. 

"Huh? E 'di sino?"

"Sa Hot Shots, si Shiloh at si Harmony. Sa Red Hunter, si Chasin at si Rowan." Sagot nito. "Si Ivor sana, kaso sabi niya busy siya. Busy nga... sa mga babae niya pero nandiyan naman." At nagtawanan sila ng sabay. 

"Si Harmony? E, nandiyan sasakyan niya, ah?" I said, pointing the car behind my brother's car. 

Kuya Simon scratched the back of his head. "'Yung kay Thirdy ang gamit niya. Sanay naman din siya roon, kaya iyon na ang pinagamit."

"E, ba't andito kayo? Hindi niyo ba sila panonoorin?"

"Mamaya, Prim. Maaga pa naman. Four PM pa magi-start 'yung qualifying." 

Tumango ako at hindi na sumagot pa.

Am I busy tomorrow? It's Sunday and race day. Mabuti naman at hindi. Hindi naman full packed ang schedule ko. Race ni Shiloh, kaya dapat ay manonood ako. 'Tsaka noong nanood ako ng race noong nakaraan, dala ko pa 'yung iPad ko para lang mag-aral kahit na nasa kalagitnaan ako ng kaba at excitement kung sino ang mananalo. 

Ang naglalaban lang naman sa first ay si Conrad, si Kuya Simon, si Kynch, si Kuya Thirdy, at si Yuji. Sila lang naman ang nag-aagawan sa place na 'yon. Top racers kasi sila. Iyong iba ay reserve drivers, pero sinasabak din kasama ang top racers. 

"Kuya Josiah!" Tili ko nang makita ito na nagpark sa likod ng kotse ni Harmony. 

He got out of the car and removed his helmet. He placed his helmet on the top of his car and started removing his face cover and his gloves. After that, he waved at me. 

Umalis ako mula sa pagkakaakbay ni Kuya Thirdy at tumakbo sa pwesto ni Kuya Josiah. His race suit is now unzipped, leaving him in his black long-sleeve turtleneck. 

"Hello, madam baby!" He chuckled and welcomed me with a hug. 

"I miss you!" I chuckled. 

I am close with him, too. Mas close pa nga kami kaysa kay Kuya Thirdy. Kuya Thirdy looked intimidating kasi, kaya si Kuya Josiah ang naging close ko kaagad sa team ni Kuya, aside from Shiloh. 

"You're not nagpapakita na here, ha? Busy ba sa school?" He asked when he let go of me. 

"Yes! Ang daming gagawin! My gosh, I'm getting stressed." 

He chuckled and ruffled my hair. "That's only the start. You have a lot of things to have when you're in your second, third, and fourth year."

I nodded at him. Sabay kaming naglakad palapit kina Kuya habang dini-discuss niya sa akin kung ano man ang maaaring ma-encounter ko sa next years. Same course kasi kami. Pero siya, hindi napilitan dahil gusto niya 'yung BSBA. Ako napilitan dahil wala nga si Kuya Vance. Kailangan naming matuto para sa kumpanya.

Si Kuya Simon na architect ay hindi nagiging full-time architect kasi naging empleyado siya sa kumpanya ngayon. Nagte-train siya at nagwo-work para kapag magre-retire na si Daddy ay siya na ang papalit kasi nawawala pa rin 'yung panganay namin. Ako ang susunod dahil isa rin daw ako sa magma-manage ng kumpanya namin. 

Ayaw ko sana... Gusto ko ng nursing pero sa ABM ako noon dahil naubusan ako ng slot sa STEM. Pero dahil wala si Kuya Vance, sa amin naipasa ang responsibilidad niya. Nakakainis nga! Hindi man lang ako nage-enjoy sa course ko! 

"Kaya mo 'yan, Prim. Tiwala lang," Kuya Josiah said. "Hindi mo na lang namamalayan, graduate ka na at nagta-trabaho ka na." 

Umismid ako at natawa sina Kuya roon. "Paano'ng sasaya 'yan sa BSBA kahit maka-graduate, e hindi naman niya gusto 'yon na course?" Kuya Thirdy said. 

"Nakawala na sa hawla pero slight lang," tumawa kaming lahat sa sinabi ni Kuya Simon. 

He's right. I can actually have my freedom after college, yet I wouldn't have my whole freedom. Makukulong at makukulong pa rin ako sa trabahong ayaw ko. Sa trabahong hindi ko pinangarap at mahal. 

"Hanapin na lang si Vance nang matapos na kalbaryo ninyong dalawa," tumawa si Kuya Josiah. 

I scoffed. "As if magpapakita."

They all shook their heads. Alam nila kung gaano ako kagalit. Alam nila kung paano ako nasasaktan kapag nababanggit siya. Kahit huwag na rin siya magpakita parang si Constantine nang maging maayos lang ang buhay ko. 

Maayos nga ba? Hindi naman maayos buhay ko ngayon, e. Magiging maayos lang kapag narinig ko na lahat ng gusto kong marinig. 

"Prim," seryosong tawag ni Kuya Simon sa akin. 

"Hmm?"

"What if Kuya Vance and Ajax will come home nang sabay?" 

Saglit akong natigilan sa sinabi niya. Oo nga, 'no? Paano kung sabay silang umuwi at nagpakita sa akin? Paano ko sila haharapin? 

"Dapat ba akong maging masaya?" I asked sarcastically. 

He chuckled. "What will you do?"

Natahimik ako. Gano'n din ang mga lalaking nakapaligid sa amin ngayon. I bit the inner of my cheeks and roamed my eyes. Honestly, I don't know what to do. I badly wanted to welcome them with a punch, a slap, hurtful words—anything that they could feel my anger. But I know I can't do that. I won't do that because I love them. 

"Honestly, I don't know," I replied. 

Kuya Simon sighed and shrugged. "Same," he said. "Pero huwag papakita sa 'kin si Ajax hangga't hindi niya naiipaliwanag bakit ka niya iniwan. Baka masuntok ko kasi." 

Tumawa sila habang ako ay napailing. I know that he's trying to lift my mood. Because honestly, the moment he asked me that question, my chest felt heavy. Bumigat ang pakiramdam ko noong tinanong niya 'yon dahil hindi ko rin naman alam talaga ang gagawin ko. 

"Pero mahal mo pa?" Tanong ni Kuya Josiah. 

I chuckled. "Hindi naman nawala," sagot ko. Kahit ang totoo ang hindi ko na siya mahal. Unti-unting nauupos 'yung pagmamahal ko sa kaniya at napapalitan 'yon ng galit. 

"Oh, saan pupunta 'yon?" Tanong ni Kuya Thirdy nang naglakad palayo si Conrad mula sa pwesto namin. 

Tinawag pa siya nina Kuya nang ilang beses ngunit hindi na ito lumingon pa. Nagkibitbalikat na lamang ako ngunit si Kuya Josiah ay nakangisi at sumulyap sa akin. 

"Why?" I asked. 

He shrugged, and the smirk on his lips widened. "I think someone's jealous." Then he laughed like we were watching a comedy movie. 

Nangunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya at nakuryoso kung sino'ng nagseselos. Hindi ko kasi siya maintindihan kaya ngumuso ako. Ang kapatid ko naman at si Kuya Thirdy ay nakisabay sa tawanan nila.

Nang malapit na maglunch ay umalis na kami sa racetrack. Sumabay ako sa kapatid ko dahil nagtaxi lang naman ako papunta roon. Sabi niya ay magla-lunch muna kami bago kami sumunod sa racetrack na isa kung saan gaganapin 'yung race. Hindi na ako umangal dahil siya lang naman ang masusunod kahit na magsuggest pa ako. 

"Where do you want to eat?" he asked. 

"Kahit saan," sagot ko. 

"Walang kahit saan na restaurant, Prim," sabi niya at sumulyap sa akin. 

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. Pilosopo. "I'm fine with anywhere. As long as I'll eat," I said. 

He nodded and typed something on his phone; he handed it to me and focused on driving. I was just silent the whole ride, and I couldn't talk to him and ask things because I didn't know if he'd be in a good mood or a bad mood after this. 

When his phone chimed, I looked at it, and my lips parted when I saw my face as his wallpaper. It was a selfie of me pouting and scrunching my nose while my chin was resting on my arm. Oh. I remembered this photo! It was when I was thinking twice about getting a haircut. I didn't notice the text first because I was in awe when I saw my face as my brother's wallpaper. I thought it was his picture together with his ex, Sachi.

"Who texted?" he asked. 

"Conrad," I replied. 

"Your birthday is my passcode," he said. 

I opened my phone and went to the messaging app. I saw that there are a lot of texts there, but he's not reading or replying to them. Kaya naman pala 99+ ang nasa badge ng app na 'to. 

I opened his conversation with Conrad. Ang contact name ay bff at may picture kaya alam kong siya 'yon. Nakalabas ang dila ni Conrad sa picture, kaya natawa ako nang mahina. Para siyang bata rito na hindi marunong mang-away. Pero kabaliktaran naman. 

Bff:
bro, baka mamiss mo si sachi kapag doon tayo? sa fav restaurant na lang kaya ng kapatid mo. suggestion lang, pero kung mapilit ka, edi mag-reminisce ka mag-isa mo.

I read it aloud to my brother, and he's shaking his head after. Natawa na lang din siya sa sinabi ng best friend niya at parang hindi napikon. Kung ako kasi 'yon, baka masapak ko si Conrad. At bakit sa chat ang straight niya mag-Filipino? Pero kapag kausap ko siya ay English at conyo siya?

"Reply to him." Utos ng kapatid ko na nagpangisi sa akin. Parang maling ako pa yata ang pinagreply niya, ah?

Simon (Prim):
ba't 'di na lang sa fav restaurant ng Adler mo, khel? punuan doon sa fav restaurant ni prim, e, kaya hindi ako nagpareserve. nacheck ko na kanina kasi.

I chuckled after sending it. 

Bff:
fuck you, simon clarence na mahal pa si sachi 

Simon (Prim):
doon na, bro. masarap naman doon.

Simon (Prim):
wait, sino nga ulit 'yung Adler mo?

Bff:
si nahomy

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa nabasa. Sabi na! Si Nahomy ang ex nito! Akala ko naman si Alicia o 'yung iba! Lakas talaga ni Nahomy, na-pull niya si Conrad. I mean, guwapo naman siya, oo. Pero ang ugali? Parang iba. Parang hindi nagko-compliment sa mukha. 

"Sa restaurant na lang daw na favorite ng ex niya," sabi ko. 

I saw how my brother's eyes widened at what he heard. Sumulyap siya sa akin. "What did you reply?" 

At sinabi ko ang nireply ko. Hindi naman siya nagalit. Actually, he's proud of what I did. Tama raw na gantihan ko si Conrad dahil sa sinabi niya. Tumawa pa siya nang malakas dahil sabi ko ay minura siya ni Conrad. Lutong siguro n'on kapag sa bibig niya nanggaling.

I wonder if he'll punch my brother if he knows that I was the one who texted him. Now I know how I will tease him once we get there. If he'll piss me off, then I'll piss him more.

When we stopped at the restaurant, I was smiling widely when I got out of the car. When Conrad opened the passenger seat of Kuya Thirdy's car, I saw how he looked pissed while I'm smiling. Kuya Thirdy was chuckling when he went out. Kuya Simon was grinning from ear to ear like he won something. Kuya Josiah was laughing too. His face was already red.

"Masarap dito, Khel!" Natatawang ani Kuya Simon. 

Umirap si Conrad at tinaas ang middle finger. "Be thankful that I already moved on!" Naiinis niyang turan. 

"E 'di, thank you." My brother replied and laughed his ass out. 

I was stifling my smile while I was behind my brother because I was the one who sent the message. When Kuya Thirdy's eyes looked at me and saw me stifling my smile, he started laughing with my brother. 

Lintik lang ang walang ganti, Whitelock. 

Conrad's eyes went to mine, and he stopped yapping at my brother. His lips parted a little, and I saw how his ears reddened. Oh.

"Prim, I salute you!" Kuya Thirdy said, still laughing. 

Napakamot ako sa pisngi ko at natawa. Si Conrad naman ay nag-iwas na ng tingin. My brother shook his head and put his arm on my shoulder before we walked towards the entrance.

Maraming napatingin sa amin pagkapasok pa lamang namin. Ang iba ay nakatingin kay Conrad at Kuya Thirdy. Habang ang karamihan sa kumakain ay sa amin na magkapatid ang tingin. 

"Eyecatcher talaga 'tong mga Andrada na 'to," napailing na lamang si Kuya Thirdy. Natawa ako at umirap nang pabiro at naupo na sa upuan nang makarating kami sa pwestong gusto nila. "Kahit ako rin naman. Sa poganda ba naman ni Prim—"

"Tumigil ka nga. Ayaw kita maging brother-in-law." Putol ni Kuya Simon sa kaniya. 

"Bobo. Si Co—"

Conrad sighed and shook his head. "Be quiet," he said. 

Natatawa na lang ako sa kanila. Nang mailapag ang menu sa table namin ay nagbrowse na ako nang tahimik. Kailangan ko pang ilapit sa akin 'yung menu dahil hindi ko mabasa masyado 'yung mga letters. 

"What's yours?" My brother asked. 

"I'll have their salad and iced tea," I replied. 

He nodded and told the waiter our orders. Tahimik lang si Conrad pagkatapos niyang sabihin ang order niya. Hindi na siya nag-iingay katulad kanina. I don't know why. 

"Lagot ka, inasar mo sa ex niya," bulong ni Kuya Simon. He chuckled at me when I grimaced. 

"It's just for fun," I whispered back. "He's teasing me before; ngayon lang ako gaganti." 

He shook his head and laughed. "Ikaw talagang bata ka." 

I shrugged and didn't talk. Nagsimula na rin silang mag-usap about the race. Kuya Josiah was nodding all the time while Conrad was talking if he's being asked. Nakikinig naman siya, pero hindi na siya gaanong nagsasalita. 

Kuya Simon and Kuya Thirdy did all the talking. Nakikisabat ang dalawa kapag kailangan, pero hinahayaan nila 'yung dalawa rin na nagsasalita. Ang alam ko, si Kuya Thirdy ang pinakamatanda sa kanila ng buwan lamang. Magkakaedad si Kuya Josiah, Kuya Simon, and Kuya Thirdy. Sa buwan na pinanganak ay si Kuya Thirdy ang panganay, pangalawa si Kuya Josiah at bunso si Kuya Simon.

Noon, sila pa nga ang natatawag na big three. Silang tatlo kasi ang halimaw sa racing, base sa mga naririnig ko. Pero noong pumasok si Conrad pagkatapos mamatay ng kapatid niya, roon napalitan ang big three na tinatawag nila. 

Noong na-interview si Kuya Josiah tungkol doon, ang sabi niya ay hindi naman siya nainis kay Conrad na pinalitan siya. He's actually proud that a Whitelock can surpass his ability in racing. Si Achilles daw kasi noon ay hanggang fourth place lang. Pero si Conrad ay nakakaabot ng first place, kaya manghang-mangha si Kuya Josiah. 

I looked at Conrad and saw him looking at me. Nakipagtitigan ako sa kaniya ngunit wala ni-isa sa amin ang bumitaw sa pagtitig. 

Kuya Josiah looked at him. "Okay ka lang ba? Baka dinibdib mo naman masyado 'yung pang-aasar ni Prim?" Natatawang aniya. 

"Oo nga, Khel. Baka may galit ka na sa kapatid ko?" Ani Kuya Simon.

"Kung bakit kasi siya inasar ng gusto niya sa ex niya, 'no?"