Idiot, idiot! That's what you are-

"Gen? Gen? GEN!"

I snap awake, Josie's hand on my shoulder, shaking my arm wildly.

I blink and turn myself over so I can look up at her face.

"Did I wake you?" I ask groggily.

"No, I was up, but you scared the heck out of me!!! Are you ok??" She scans my entire body and then puts her hand on my forehand as of checking for a temperature.

I shove her hand off me and mumble, "Yeah I'm fine." Just the nightmares that aren't stopping...

Josie lets out a heavy breath.

"Bad dream I'm guessing?"

My eyes glance back up at her. "Yeah," I sigh.

She nods and thankfully, lets the matter drop.

That is until my emotions decide to become too much for me and tears spill over. Josie glances at me and raises her eyebrows.

I feel myself go hot and flip onto my side so I'm facing the door and not Josie.

Josie buzzes her lips. I can practically hear her debate with herself about whether to ask if I'm "ok."

"You wanna talk about it?" she tries.

"Just a bad dream, everyone has them," I say, trying to keep my voice steady and failing.

I feel Josie slap her hand down on the bed and buzz her lips again. After a moment of silence she asks, "This isn't just about the bad dream is it?"

I don't move or speak for the longest time... Then, with a lot of effort, I turn so I'm lying on my back and face her. Trying to dodge the question I tease, "Dang, how come you can still read my emotions so well?"

She doesn't even smile. Avoiding eye contact, she studies her fingers as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

"Look," she mumbles. "How many times do I have to tell you, if you want to leave, I totally get why and it's fine?"

I prop myself up on one arm, millions of stray hairs flying rather ungracefully down my head.

"Josie, why would I want to leave?"

She just looks up at me and gives me the you-know-perfectly-well-why look.

I huff out, "Josie, I... I told you... I was running away from something.."

"Were you lying to me?" she prompts more than accuses.

"What?" I reply, utterly confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Did the Tolias... Beat you or something???" she asks, waving her hand around.

"What??? Josie, no!"

"Then why would you leave them for US?" she demands. "It makes no sense. Mom just told you you that you have a brother and it's her fault you never met him and you just shrug your shoulders and trust her to continue raising you???"

I bite my lip, thinking about how weird that really sounds.

"Look-"

"Gen. Tell me what happened," she says, those ever present tears threatening to give away the fact that she's just scared for me.

I quickly turn away because I'm suddenly hit with memories of Bridget, begging and begging and begging me to tell her what happened to my family. And then begging some more to know why I would up and leave.

"Gen? I honestly still think they hurt you because honestly if-"

"Josie, cut it out!"

"Well, I'm right, aren't I?"

"Josie! NO!"

"Then why???"

"I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE HURT!" I find myself blurting. And then the emotions were suddenly breaking free like a pack of wild horses out of the pen. Tears begin to fall and sobs shake me.

Josie is suddenly silent but doesn't seem any less confused or curious.

I turn away and fling my legs over the edge of the bed. Josie takes in a breath behind me but when she lets it out, there are no words to accompany it. She crawls up behind me, the old bed creaking with her every move. She plops herself down beside me. Her arms make a move as if to hug but she awkwardly decides against that.

With one more deep breath, she finally gets words out.

"I, um... Look, I'm sorry."

I just stare down at my toes and let my ratty hair curtain the side of my face.

Josie repeats the same sentence she'd tried to get me to talk with earlier.

"You wanna talk about it?"

I grunt as a response and she comes back with, "Well obviously you do not but more importantly, do you need to talk about it?"

I lift my head slowly and tuck my hair behind my ear. Managing to look her in the eye for a moment, I scramble for words.

"I... What I need is..."

What am I supposed to do? Aunt Cassie needs... help. And honestly, I don't feel good about leaving my cousins with her. But what happens next? If I call someone on her and she gets taken away, how does that help Josie and Franklin? They'll get stuck in a foster home, and I took the streets over a foster home.

I glance at the ground then force myself to look back up at Josie.

My voice breaks as I decide to just admit the truth.

"I... I need to go... Home."

Josie breaks our gaze and sucks in her breath.

I suddenly feel bad. It hasn't even been a full twenty-four hours, and I'm already admitting that I feel coming here was... A mistake? Well, maybe I came for the wrong reasons but at least Aunt Cassie and Josie know I'm alive... Right?

"I'll visit you guys, all the time and you can-"

"Forget it," Josie says with a small, sad smile.

Then she breaks down. Delicate, soft sobs escape her and I don't hesitate to wrap my arm around her shoulders.

"Josie..."

"What- do- I- do- Gen?" she gasps.

I swallow the lump in my throat and suddenly feel more trapped than ever. What can I do for Josie and her mom? What does one do?

A lightbulb clicks on inside me.

"Could I ask the Tolias to help you Gus with-?"

"What??? No! We don't need people... Judging us and... They're gonna take Mom away and-" she chatters.

"No, Josie," I laugh. "We won't tell the police or anything, and the Tolias are the least a judgmental people on planet earth," I reassure her. Then I jokingly add, "Well, the twins will judge you for your quirks if you're related to them but, ya know."

I add in a smile to try and lighten the mood, and it gets Josie to turn her lips up at the corners a little bit.

"What would they do for her though?" she asks.

I shrug and honestly reply, "I don't know. If I did, I'd tell you and we couldn't probably do it ourselves."

She gives me a weird smile and lets out a little chuckle. Then her face goes solemn again and she says, "Well... If they can't help... Then what?"

It's as if all her deep fears flash in her eyes in that moment.

I blink rapidly, thinking.

"But what if they can help?"

This simple reply seems to actually get her to think a lot. She looks back at me and swings her arm across my shoulders.

"Let's get you home," she says.

"And meanwhile see if we can get a miracle for Mom."

And maybe one for Lacy, I think.