AN IMMENSE uneasiness burns its way into one's stomach when they are very near to face something they've been waiting long for. A hot lump rises to their throat and they become somewhat nervous.

That was exactly what I was feeling right then. We were in front of the 'Jamini Mahal' at last. After coming a long way in search of her, after everything, we were finally going to see Aimée.

We were about to find out why she did what she did; what was running through her mind when she decided to run away. But it couldn't entirely be the reason as to why I was feeling that way - tensed.

The house in front of me, as told by the marble plate by the main entrance, was built during the early 1970s. But it did not look like it was nearly fifty years old. It looked like it was taken care of. At the same time, it appeared very, almost eerily quiet.

The two storeyed mini mansion had light orangish walls that had been damped at the base owing to the rain. Jalpaiguri is a rain prone region, so it was not surprising to see so. A goat was feeding silently on the grass at the farthest corner of the lawn. It did not even bleat.

What was with this house and its peculiar silence?

Vrishank tilted his head questioningly at Vaidehi, "Should we go in, Ma?"

But Vaidehi raised her palm to tell him to keep quiet. Her eyes moved cautiously, exploring every bit of the surroundings with utmost attention.

All of a sudden her gaze shifted over to the verandah and stayed still. Her forehead creased when she bent her head forward to get a clear look. After a second, her curious face molded into that of a realization. She rubbed her chin and hummed.

I was about to ask her what it was when an unfamiliar voice summoned us.

"Are you looking for someone?"

It was a little girl, throwing us an inquisitive stare.

Vaidehi's eyes softened as she bent down to meet the girl's height. "Yes, we are looking for Aimée. Do you know her?"

Her eyes sparkled and she flashed us a bright smile. "Yes, yes I do! She's from Kolkata, isn't she?"

"Yes."

The girl looked like she was ten to twelve years of age. She had tied her two ponytails with a red ribbon and had a knee-length floral dress on.

"Is she at home right now?" I asked.

"Well, she might be. She does not have many other places to go. But, who are you? I mean, how do you know Aimée?"

"We are her friends. I am Maryam and that's Triparna."

"Oh, I see!" she exclaimed, her pupils dilating. "Heard so much about you two. Seems like Aimée is very grateful to have such friends."

After this, one thing was crystal clear. Aimée had certainly bragged too much, which was absolutely contrary to her personality.

"So, um, you can take us to her?" Vrishank said.

"Of course! Oh, I am Rai, by the way."

Leading us towards the Jamini Mahal, Rai hopped and twirled like an enthusiastic little bunny. The goat eyed us calmly for a few seconds, then resumed chewing on the grass. On one part of the lawn bloomed periwinkles and marigolds. A warm breeze swayed the palm trees like a pendulum. The blue sky enveloped above was accompanied by the cotton-like clouds and a few soaring birds.

City skies are rarely this pleasant. Nowadays, spotting crows on the electric wires has become quite a scene as well. Kolkata has seldom shown me clear sky and fluffy white clouds except during autumn. I have seen more concrete than greenery here.

Amidst the inward anxiety, I was finding serenity in nature.

"Do you live here?" I asked.

"Nope. My Ma comes here everyday to clean the house. That's opened the doors of the Mahal for me.

“I was kinda surprised when Aimée popped up all of a sudden. Then Ma said that she's the old tenants' relative. And I was like, “Oh!””

“No one said anything when Aimée started living here?”

“Nah. Everyone was sure that she would do no harm. So they had no issue.”

Ah, carefree.

Upon approaching a small blue door, Rai pushed it open. A small courtyard lay in front of us. On our right was a mini temple whose door was locked. And on the left was the Mahal. A woman was pumping the tubewell at a distance when she spotted us. Her eyes moved from us towards her daughter. She quickly rubbed her hands on her dupatta and ran at us.

"Ma!" said Rai. "They've come here to see Aimée. She's at home isn't she?"

The woman's sweaty face somehow paled as she looked over at us. She looked like she could be in her early thirties, strands of hair falling on her face and sweat trickling down her chin. According to Rai, this woman was taking care of Jamini Mahal and was well known to Aimée.

"Uh I-" she stammered. "May I know who you are and where you are coming from?"

"We are from Kolkata." greeted Vaidehi with a 'namaskar'. "My children are Aimée's schoolmates. They haven't seen her since long. We heard that she is staying here now. May we see her?"

"I'm sorry miss, but-" she hesitated. "Aimée does not like talking to outsiders."

Triparna gripped my wrist tightly, fingers digging into my skin. She didn't like being called an outsider.

Vaidehi sincerely said, "We did not mean to bother her, I'm sorry. It's just that we came a long way to see her. My daughters were very upset as they did not get to hear from Aimée for a prolonged period. They wanted to see Aimée once."

Rai's mother was about to give a reply when a familiar voice interrupted from inside.

"Mili Di! Is Rai here? I think I heard her."

The same voice that had given us strength for most of the high school years. The same voice that was supposed to sing with us at a cultural programme. The same voice that we knew we could never risk to lose.

"Mili-"

Pause.

The short haired girl in baggy clothes stopped short at the sight of us. Those beautiful eyes that used to hold a lot of warmth and humor in them were staring at us in pure disbelief.

The grip on my wrist tightened once again. This time, it was much more intense. A confusing ache made its way to my heart. It intended to rip me apart. A hot lump rose to my throat and I struggled to swallow it down. I could feel myself gritting my teeth. I grabbed the hem of Vaidehi's kurti and leaned to her for support. My eyes prickled.

Fuck. I was about to cry.

"Tri..."

That was where I lost it. Or both me and Tri lost it. Tears ran down our cheeks. I hid my face behind Vaidehi while my peripheral vision caught Triparna's face gleaming with tears and looking directly at Aimée's eyes.

"Maryam, Tri...I-"

It was one of the handful of moments when Aimée Monet was left speechless.

Vaidehi advanced and reached out for Aimée Monet's hands.

"Vaidehi Pokharel. Cyber crime department. I suppose we all need to talk."

Aimée scrutinized the woman in front of her cautiously. Glancing over at us once, she shook her hand with Vaidehi's. She signed us all to go in.

"Rai, meowie, you free this evening?"

Rai's face was clad with confusion, concern and a pinch of guilt when she nodded with the affirmative. She was probably thinking that she had brought the wrong people in and blaming herself for it. Her mother on the other hand was still fidgeting, biting her lower lip and anxiously staring at us.

★

"So, what brought you all here?"

We were all seated in the drawing room. The sea green walls had become shabby and black patches had made their way on them. There were old couches surrounding a low coffee table. A small bookshelf at the corner was packed with encyclopedias, dictionaries and classic Bengali novels. Aimée sat on a single bed resting against the wall. A pleasant breeze blew the curtains as well as my hair.

I could have felt serene if it wasn't for the internal rage and sadness.

"You." Vrishank answered.

Aimée's head jolted towards his direction and she studied him momentarily.

"You are...?"

"Vrishank. A friend."

"So Vrishank," folding her legs and sitting up on her bed comfortably, Aimée asked. "How did I bring you all here?"

"Well, you disappeared, made your friends anxious and led us to yourself at the end. That's how, precisely."

She chewed on her lower lip and tilted her head downwards at the floor.

"Seems like I fucked up."

"You did, yes."

With gritted teeth I questioned, "Tell me one thing, Monet. What in the world of drumsticks made you think that you could run away like that?"

"Bad decisions I guess."

"Are you kidding me right now? You're literally an adult, Monet! How do you possibly make bad decisions like these? Bad decision is deleting a file from your computer and not realising that you might need it in the future. Bad decision is not, I firmly say, fleeing and making people worry about you. And that too, as a twenty one year old."

Aimée opened her mouth to counter my words. But she couldn't because she countered rubbish. And I was saying no nonsense.

"We know why you wanted to come here, Aimée. You left your most precious journal at the 'HYMN'. It said everything. It's your dream to work for tribal communities, we know it. But you can't just run away like that!"

My voice was quivering. My vulnerability was giving away. I didn't know how to feel about it. It was not an usual sight when I was visibly upset. The sensitive part of me was not something I had let anyone except Tri and my parents know about.

It was at this moment when I realized that I had developed too much of an emotional attachment with Aimée Monet. The splashes of the sea of memories with her hit the coast of my mind. The way she guided me with the piano when I was a beginner, the fruitful advice she gave and the bad-ass comrade she was were unforgettable.

I knew that I loved (love) her. And I couldn't let her leave us without an explanation.

Sensing my inner turmoil, Tri spoke up for the first time after coming there.

"We haven't come here to have a staring contest, Aimée. We need answers. We deserve to know the truth."

"Why, may I ask?"

"Because I love you. Mar loves you. And we care. You can't ever deny that we had an inseparable bond. Besides, we just want to know the truth. And I don't fucking think that it's something that should be kept a secret."

"You want the truth, right?" Aimée raised her voice. "Okay, I'll give it to you.

"It was a bad decision. I know that. The plan to run away did not come to my mind at the very beginning. I wanted to tell my parents about it. However, it was one of their conversations I overheard one night, and I changed my mind. I was already about to turn twenty one. They could somehow sense that I might think about going abroad for higher studies or something. They aren't stupid. They are my parents.

My mother was sobbing. Dad's voice was laced with sadness. They were saying that it would be hard without me. At the same time, they couldn't say these things to me. I was literally heartbroken."

"And then you fled."

"Let me finish, dumbass. My stupid arse thought that it would be insensitive of me to tell them about my actual plans. Don't look at me like that, okay? I know it was extremely idiotic of me to come across such a weird ass conclusion.

"I was a fucking imbecile. But it was too late when I understood it. I had already run away. The police were looking for me. My parents and girlfriend were panicked as hell. But I could not afford to get caught. So I called them up and confessed every single thing I had kept from them. I asked them to stop the investigation when they were assured that I was safe."

Her voice echoed in the room the entire time she spoke. An unrealistic stillness, that I was most definitely imagining myself, engulfed the room. Aimée Monet's heavy breathing was the only sound right then.

Triparna was gaping at her with a partly open mouth. Vaidehi was staring at the ground, her eyes shut. Vrishank was eyeing Tri with concern and Aimée with disbelief. Whereas I was being carried away by a swift river of despair.

Bad decisions. How badly they were able to mess things up. How moronic Aimée was to drown herself in a bad decision.

"So," murmured Vaidehi. "These are your reasons?"

"These are my reasons, yes."

"You know how much of a crap they are?"

"I do. I do know it. And I absolutely, honestly apologize to all of you for that. I never knew that it could upset you all. I was not thoughtful at all. Shit, I'm sorry Triparna."

By the time, Aimée had knelt down, clutching Tri's hands. Tri's deep breathing accompanied with a sadness in her eyes wrecked me. I remembered the sleepless nights she spent thinking about Monet. How she tried her best to find out Aimée and how she cared about her, I knew it all. I knew that she was going to forgive Aimée. I was going to, as well.

But it wasn't possible for Monet's hand to save me from this turbulent river of hopelessness that soon. I needed a rope, strong enough to pull me on the bank and heal my injury. The rope was there. Monet had it. Still, she was using her hands to save us.

Yet, in the stream of pessimism, somehow I had one hope left - as much as a bad decision she had made once, Aimée Monet was not going to repeat it. She was sure to rescue us, just like she had done before.

★

a/n :

ah, how much i've missed writing long ass chapters. the next two are gonna be as long as this one.

regular updates? what are they? :P

don't forget to vote and comment tho!!