So Sorry
Today was a heavy day; it seems like my mind
always wants to wander around,
I snap out of it more than three times already.
An Image of a boy crying alone, saying.. " sorry... so sorry...." "I lost myself..."
"I want to be like how I am back then."
" Fake smile to hide your pain, act normal because people are watching,
they say " boy shouldn't cry."
"but I'm not me..."
all I see is an image of a boy walking aimlessly
everyone around him covers in black clouds they seem to be laughing and talking
"I'm tired of trying."
the mask I wear Is fragile... it could crack... fall off... shatter into pieces at any moment...
"why are you here?"
"I don't need anyone help..."
"I'm a burden to everyone..."
"just a kid that lost his path."
Sometimes he felt as if Isolation is the answer to true peace...
he mumbles " what happens to me?"
"is someone there?"
"I'm cold..."
Not from the outside...
but inside...
my heart is cold...
like a hole in the middle of my heart
Where cold wind travels in and out...
it hurt so much...
Have I been living or dying?
Sleeping or dreaming?
The boy who walks through life like a dream because He can't tell what is reality ...
he cried as he says...
"is this me??"
"would you stay in a world of reality where there a constant battle or would you stay in the world of peace?"
I choose peace...
I never know that the world of peace would take away my ability to feel real...
have I lost my self just because I want a world of peace??
What is true happiness? I know what pain feels like
10,000 knives stuck into you that no one can see,
it always there waiting for a moment in time where someone could pull it out
I felt warm
felt peaceful
when she here with me
the knives have been pulled out, but the wound constantly bled...
"I'm okay."
" I'm always Okay" "I can smile don't you see?"
Hehe...
his laughter slowly turn into a whimper of a lost soul,
he laughs through his tear as if he wants to forget the pain
"I'm okay," he said
" I'm just a kid who cries through his smile."
how long would his mask last?
" I need someone to let go of my mask."
"I can't take it off alone..."
" I feel other people pain... but Can they feel mine?"
Idk why I kind of cry few tears fall when I write those on my notebook
people look at me, I'm, right? Don't leave me alone in this cold world. I need you guys every minute, every second, every day, You guys are my peace, my hope, I don't want to lose myself anymore, it hurt not to know who you are... *hug them not letting go*
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