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So Sorry

Today was a heavy day; it seems like my mind

always wants to wander around,

I snap out of it more than three times already.

An Image of a boy crying alone, saying.. " sorry... so sorry...." "I lost myself..."

"I want to be like how I am back then."

" Fake smile to hide your pain, act normal because people are watching,

they say " boy shouldn't cry."

"but I'm not me..."

all I see is an image of a boy walking aimlessly

everyone around him covers in black clouds they seem to be laughing and talking

"I'm tired of trying."

the mask I wear Is fragile... it could crack... fall off... shatter into pieces at any moment...

"why are you here?"

"I don't need anyone help..."

"I'm a burden to everyone..."

"just a kid that lost his path."

Sometimes he felt as if Isolation is the answer to true peace...

he mumbles " what happens to me?"

"is someone there?"

"I'm cold..."

Not from the outside...

but inside...

my heart is cold...

like a hole in the middle of my heart

Where cold wind travels in and out...

it hurt so much...

Have I been living or dying?

Sleeping or dreaming?

The boy who walks through life like a dream because He can't tell what is reality ...

he cried as he says...

"is this me??"

"would you stay in a world of reality where there a constant battle or would you stay in the world of peace?"

I choose peace...

I never know that the world of peace would take away my ability to feel real...

have I lost my self just because I want a world of peace??

What is true happiness? I know what pain feels like

10,000 knives stuck into you that no one can see,

it always there waiting for a moment in time where someone could pull it out

I felt warm

felt peaceful

when she here with me

the knives have been pulled out, but the wound constantly bled...

"I'm okay."

" I'm always Okay" "I can smile don't you see?"

Hehe...

his laughter slowly turn into a whimper of a lost soul,

he laughs through his tear as if he wants to forget the pain

"I'm okay," he said

" I'm just a kid who cries through his smile."

how long would his mask last?

" I need someone to let go of my mask."

"I can't take it off alone..."

" I feel other people pain... but Can they feel mine?"

Idk why I kind of cry few tears fall when I write those on my notebook

people look at me, I'm, right? Don't leave me alone in this cold world. I need you guys every minute, every second, every day, You guys are my peace, my hope, I don't want to lose myself anymore, it hurt not to know who you are... *hug them not letting go*

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Tags: #reality