what happens when you close your eyes?

I can see the world

sense thing around me what do you feel around people?

What if you close your eyes?

Can you sense them?

I can...

I see the world

my surrounding gets darker and darker

but they don't disappear

like a silhouette

I see their souls

I see the strings tied from their soul to my soul

Emotions linking into you

What do you feel when it happens?

Does it feels like a curse?...

Or is it a gift?

All I see are silhouettes,

silhouettes of emotions and fear

the fear of seeing the one you love disappear

my feelings are unknown to my mind,

I don't know how to feel when I know that someday, 

my best friend, who stands by my side like a silhouette,

Disappear forever.

Memories are haunting me...

remember the laughter of friendship

they are just a silhouette,

the silhouette that is fading 

The pain of missing someone

 plays in my head as a ray of light 

that shines my path suddenly get weaker

 to the point of disappearing.

 my mind can flash,

 and a new silhouette appear in my mind

my surrounding get darker

 and

 darker only to let a ray of light shines through

forming the shape of a little girl holding a flower

 instead of a gun or a knife

the little girl is fading

her flower still there but her body is just a silhouette

 the silhouette of a little girl that is about to disappear

"please don't go..."

" please don't leave me in this hell alone."

my mind felt pain but why does my heart felt so numb

I wish I could cry

but why can't I?

My light is fading... 

what do I do?

"please stay for a while."

only one year left

"please wait a little more I will come to you."

"please don't go, please just stay."

I wish I could do something instead of writing this."

I don't know what to do when you guys disappear...

"one by one, those silhouettes faded away from my life...

"I am lost, lost the path I'm on..."

"could you help me?"

"Please lead me back."

I know it not hard to end the suffering

I know it would be better if I let you go,

I don't know what to do...

to let you go, 

stop the pain for you, 

hoping that you would forget about everyone and go to a peaceful world.

 Or should I force you to stay,

 making you suffer even more...

 I don't want to forget you nor want you to live in pain and suffering, 

what do I do?

I know that when you left those silhouette around me would weep... 

and disappear.

I don't know what to do...

the memories of you will always play in my head

I know it not hard to pick up the knife to cut the pain away or stab the same wounds 

over and over again

But it hard to know that once you had to stab your self enough 

or when you had cut the last wound on your body, 

every single pain you been holding onto transferred to people you care and loves for.

What do I do?

But please wait for me, 

only one more year...

don't leave me behind. I need you.