The next morning, you woke to an empty bed and a hangover that made you regret every drink taken the night before. Your eyes felt like they could explode from your skull, your stomach was churning the acid building up into your throat, and the headache was like no other; the normally musical sounds of birds just outside your window only made you consider a round of target practice.

Your first instinct was to blame this on Tony for giving you the idea to drown the images from your minds, but then it was all shifted to Bucky for making them in the first place. You couldn't really stop him, of course, but you weren't as skilled as blocking him from your mind as he had been, and poor Tony had barely any experience with this problem at all. He was new to this whole soulmate thing, so his first instinct was to panic.

"Hey, FRIDAY," you practically whispered, "where's-"

"He's still asleep on the couch, miss. He moved downstairs when your incessant snoring kept him from sleeping."

"I don't snore," you argued, finding your voice in the insinuation. All it did to argue with the A.I., whose attitude matched her creator's, was to get a replay of the sounds of your sleep during the night, played just loud enough to echo throughout your room, but not to cause you any more pain in your already pounding head. "Fine, point made, turn it off."

"Of course," she complied. "I also have a message saved for you from Mr. Barnes. I intercepted it from your phone before it rang so it wouldn't wake you."

The last thing that you wanted to hear right now was his voice, knowing that it would only renew the sights that put you into this position in the first place. "Can you just give me the high points instead?"

"He didn't say much, only to ask if you would call him once you woke for the day."

"Thanks." But before you could talk to him, you stood and stretched, hoping to quell the ache in every muscle in your body, but it didn't much help. You considered loading up with caffeine to find just enough energy to move, but you would have to move to get it. Instead, you grabbed your phone from your bedside table and flopped back down onto the mattress with a huff. You found Bucky's number with a few hesitant swipes of your thumb over the glass, and closed your eyes when you finally decided to connect the call.

"Hey," he answered quietly. You heard the hastened shuffle of his feet as he moved, making it clear that you hadn't caught him alone.

"Buck, what the hell was that?"

"What?"

"Last night," you answered flatly. "Are you and Natasha a thing now? When did that happen?"

There was a long pause, but you could hear the sounds of his breathing; otherwise, you might have thought he had hung up out of refusal to answer. "Why does that matter?"

"Because I didn't think that you were ready for something so serious. Buck, you only just got your mind back, and you still aren't at 100% yet."

"How would you know?" he snapped. "You left, and we barely talk. You have no idea what my mind is doing, and I know that you and Steve are buddies but whatever he's told you is from his skewed point of view. He's overprotective to a goddamn annoying fault."

"Buck, what's going on?" you asked, keeping your tone calm. "You seem like something's wrong. You're being...hostile."

"I don't know, honey, you're coming at me with your accusations and judgments, so I'm just tossing it back."

"I don't mean to be, I'm sorry," you sighed. "I just had a long night and a really bad hangover. It was a shock to see, that's all."

"Pfft, right," he scoffed, "tell me about it. It's about damn time you got that experience. It fucking sucks, doesn't it?"

"What are you talking about-"

"I've seen so much of Stark that even Shuri couldn't get that out of my head. Now you get how hard it is for me to see when I can't just shut the connection down. That's why I've been trying so hard to keep it from happening."

Bucky was making a fair point, that when you and Tony were bombarded with the connection the night before, you hadn't stopped to consider that it was something that he had been dealing with through you for several years now. "That's why you've been so distant, even just talking to me."

"Yeah, and after your latest romp in Tony's lab, Nat and I decided to give you a bit of your own medicine. At least now I have someone who's suffering just as much as I've been."

"Hold up just a damn minute, Barnes," you stopped him, "so, what? That was just messing with us to make a point? You're not actually together?"

"Of course not, (Y/N). Listen, Nat and I have a torrid and terrifying history, and we both know how dangerous it could be to fall back into it. We've been talking a lot, and we're better off to try to find a way forward as friends. If nothing else, it's good to have someone with a shared life experience."

You wanted to be angry at both him and Natasha for the lie and trickery, but you couldn't build up the emotion enough to fully appreciate it. You still barely had the energy to just have this conversation. It would have been preferable to talk about it last night; at least then you wouldn't feel as terrible as you do after a night of drinking your feelings away. "Well, I'm sorry that I've had to put you through that. I'm sure that Tony is too. I'm glad that you've figured out things, though. I worry about you, Buck."

"Why?"

"You're my friend?" It came out more as a question than an answer, but the tone felt appropriate nonetheless.

"And that's all I'm ever gonna be, right?"

"Are you really going there? I've been with Tony for as long as you've known me...even before that. Nothing is going to change there."

"Okay, then if that's true, then why did you get so worked up over me and Nat?" he challenged. "You were jealous, doll, I could hear it in your voice."

"I was not! I just wanted you to think about what you were doing...for your own good, not mine."

"Oh, cut the bullshit, (Y/N)!" he finally cracked, and his voice was so loud now that you had to hold the phone away from your ear to stop the pain it was causing. "I'm not yours to tell what to do! I'm not yours so that you can push me around and mold my life into what makes you comfortable! I'm not yours, and you were never mine! You never will be, and you can't have this both ways! I know that I'll never have this, or you, but you don't hear me telling you what to do just because I can't stand to see you happy with him! At least I can keep my mouth shut!"

"Just because we're soulmates, it doesn't mean that we're going to be together. It doesn't always work that way. You even said so yourself-"

"Yeah, I've always been good at making shit up to keep everyone else happy and to not hurt their feelings. Just ask Steve." There was a long pause again, only this time you had fully expected that to be the end of the discussion. At least a full minute had passed, and you nearly hung up, but the sound of his much quieter voice caught your attention just in time. "(Y/N), I wish that things had been different. Maybe I'm just feeling these things because you were the first person...the first one to care about me. Maybe this is some weird attachment thing, I don't know, and maybe it will go away if we keep ourselves from connecting. All I know for sure," he paused again, with a heavy breath, "is that I wish you had never been nice to me in the first place."

~~~

It took about an hour of absolute silence and immobility before you could bring yourself to consider getting out of bed, and when you finally pushed yourself up, you could only consider hiding under the blankets for eternity instead. But you knew that Tony would find you eventually, once his own hangover abated and he actually decided to sleep. You toyed with the idea that it could be days before he would notice in his insomnia, with the likelihood of being immersed in work to keep his mind off of the images he had seen, so maybe you could just burrow in and die after all. It felt so much easier than facing any more of the problems all around you.

Tony had agreed that he would meet with Steve and Bucky, though the latter may no longer have an invitation after last night, and after your conversation you found yourself beginning to agree. "FRIDAY, is he awake?"

"Yes, he's in the kitchen trying to feed himself."

"Trying? Oh, great," you grumbled under your breath, making your way into the hallway and to the elevator so that you could see just how bad it was, and if breakfast could be salvaged. So far, there hadn't been any fire alarms sounding, so that was promising, if nothing else. When the doors opened, you hurried to the kitchen to take in the sights, only to find Tony sitting alone at the table, eyes closed and with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.

"Hey, sweetheart," he whispered, holding up a hand to keep you from answering too loudly. "I made coffee, and then I had to sit down. Do you think the room has stopped spinning yet?"

"Oh, honey," you answered softly, taking a seat next to him very carefully, "you should go to bed. I'm sorry that I snored you out of the room. Come on, I'll help you."

"No, I have too much to do," he argued, "I'll just nap later."

"Tony, you can't work if you can't open your eyes."

"We don't know that for sure until I try. After I try to get to my office without looking at where I'm going..."

"Fine, if you're so determined, tell me what you need from the office and I'll bring it here," you offered in compromise. "I think that's safer than your idea."

"You see, that's why I love you. I may be a genius, but you're the smart one around here." You thought you might have seen the faintest curl of a smile on his lips, but he still refused to open his eyes to let you know if the feeling was genuine; you never could look away from that sparkle in Tony's eyes once his smile had reached them. "Okay, all I need is the pile of papers on the left side of my desk, my tablet, and in the right side top drawer, there's a phone."

You looked at the table in front of where he sat, your brow furrowed in confusion. "Your phone is right here?"

"No, it's an old piece of junk," he explained. "One of those flip phones from back in the 90's. Steve sent it to me after Siberia, and honestly, I'm a little impressed. I had no idea that he actually had a sense of humor."