As you had expected, when Tony and Steve had come to a place where they could tolerate each other in the same room without the urge to murder, the meeting was missing one key player; Bucky didn't come along and stayed behind in Wakanda. Natasha had taken his place next to Steve at the table instead, leaving you to realize just how serious he was during your last conversation. Tensions still ran high despite the agreement to keep within best behaviors; the fight that had erupted between Steve and Tony was epic to say the least, with scars that might never fully fade away even if they could resolve to rejoin the team together.

"Where's Barnes?" Tony asked as the group settled into their seats. "I didn't scare him off, did I? I promised to be a good boy."

"No, not at all," Steve answered readily, "there were just factors at play that he needed to attend to and couldn't make it. He sends his regrets."

"I bet he does," you mumbled under your breath, and it wasn't missed. You looked to your three teammates with a feigned surprise, even though you did wake up that morning feeling a little argumentative with a hint of petulance. "What?"

Tony was the first to ask, while Steve and Natasha seemed to shy away even more. You hadn't been hiding anything from Tony, per se, but you weren't exactly forthcoming without a little push. "Exactly," he asked, turning to face you, "what?"

"I'm just...I'm not surprised, okay? I didn't expect him to show up in the first place."

"So why do you look like someone just kicked your puppy? It sure seems to be bothering you."

You looked up at Steve with a quick glance and a subtle shake of your head, communicating that you didn't want to have this conversation here, hoping that the two of you hadn't been separated so long that he could no longer read you. You knew full well that Bucky had likely told him everything. "Don't read too much into it, Tony. He just couldn't make it."

"He couldn't make it to a meeting that's this important? We're talking about putting the team back together, and so that I can hear your insane suggestion that we bring him along for the ride." As Tony spoke, his words became more energetic, pushing himself forward in his chair to lean into the table to make his point physically. "I can't forgive him this easily, as you think I'm going to, and I'm sure as hell not likely to forget any time soon."

"Then why are we even here?" Natasha finally joined in. "If you're not ready to move past it-"

"That's not what I said," he immediately argued. "I said that I can't forgive and forget, but I can be a damn professional if I have to be. This is about getting the team back together, and I've decided that I need to figure out what this being a bigger person thing means. I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to prove that to anyone if the center of my rage-filled psyche doesn't show up. So, what was so important that he was allowed to take a pass and we weren't?"

This time, Steve was the one to look to you, almost as if he were seeking permission; he knew exactly what was said between you and Bucky during your recent argument, and even though he would never intentionally use that information for his own gain, he wasn't above using it to protect his friend. "Buck doesn't want to see (Y/N)," he blurted out, eliciting a gasp from you as you stared him down.

Once again, Tony turned to you, almost giddy that the two of you were on the outs, "why? What happened?"

"Nothing," you deflected. "Let's just stay on task, okay? We can do this without him."

"No, there's something," he persisted, "you keep looking at Rogers..." Tony sat quietly when you didn't play into his continued questioning, now mimicking you in looking to Steve for answers that you wouldn't provide. When Steve dropped his gaze to the tabletop in return, the lightbulb came on in Tony's mind and he slammed is open hand on the surface with a loud crack. "Oh, come the fuck on, you're kidding me, right? I've been pretty damn forgiving with this shit for years now, but this is too much."

"Tony-"

"Tell me what happened, (Y/N)," he practically snarled, his anger building even more as he faced you again. "Did you see him? Did he tell you that he loved you now, after a few years to think it over?"

"No, it wasn't like that at all. It was just an argument. We're on the same page now, so it's a non-issue."

"There's clearly an issue if he doesn't want to see you. Hell, he ditched his BFF just to avoid you."

"Shouldn't that make you happy then," you shot back, "if he refuses to even be in the same room with me? You should be thanking the whiney little bitc-"

"Hey, let's watch the name calling," Bucky answered, your mind echoing with his voice. With your anger growing so quickly, you weren't aware that you had let your guard down, and the connection was made.

"Oh, that's just terrific," you groaned, putting your head down in your hands to talk with a little more privacy. "Go away."

"I don't want this either, you know. You go away."

"Mature, Buck."

"Is that him?" Tony asked, wide-eyed and listening intently.

Without answering him, you stood to leave, waving Steve away when he stood in kind to join you, as if he could be anyone that you wanted to have near you right now. "Excuse me," you tried, but Tony stood up and blocked your path.

"No, stay here. If he wants to talk, then let's talk. Tell Barnes that if he wants to be a part of this team, then he needs to get his ass here, and he needs to get the idea out of his head that he'll ever have a shot with you. Not so long as I'm alive."

"That can be arranged," Bucky retorted with a laugh.

"Bucky, shut the hell up."

"Hey," Steve interjected, "let's watch the attitudes, alright? We don't need this to escalate into another fight."

"Yeah, (Y/N), tell your fiancé to back off. He's starting to sound a little bit jealous."

"Oh, my god, this is like a shitty game of telephone," you hissed. "I'm not doing this. If you three want to talk to each other, then do it like normal people do and call. Grow up already." Pushing your chair back with an angry, loud kick against it, you turned to leave; you felt Tony's hand reach out for you and just barely graze over your skin, but it didn't slow you at all. You had successfully made it into the hallway, but with the sensation of their eyes still on you, your feet didn't stop until you made it to your office with a slam of the door behind you. "Barnes, I said, go away. I can't have you in my head right now...not anymore...it's too much."

"Wait, what do you mean?" he asked nervously now. "Not anymore?"

"Buck," you sighed, dropping heavily into your chair, "we need to find a way to break this connection. We can't do this for the rest of our lives. I'm with Tony, and you don't deserve to be stuck watching us live our lives together, and you should be free to live yours without worrying that I'm always there."

"What about Nat and Tony? They're in the same situation."

"If we can figure out how to do it, I'm sure they'll be on board."

The silence came after that for a long time; nearly an hour. But you could feel that he was still there, still connected and just listening to the sound of your breathing as if it kept him calm again, just like when he had first known you. He would lie in bed on many nights, feeling unbearably alone, until the emptiness would allow you to connect and lull him to sleep. It began to hurt deep in his chest at the memory, and he began to wish for those simpler days before both of your worlds exploded and shattered into the mess you were piecing together now. He began to realize that no matter how screwed up this was, as each minute of silence ticked by, he wasn't ready to let it go.

"(Y/N)," he finally whispered, "I'm sorry. Don't leave me."

"Buck...we need to be able to live-"

"I was a jerk, okay? I overreacted," he hurried, his words tumbling out before you could force him from your mind. "The feelings that I'm having, yeah, they're love, but I know that you're with Tony, and I can still love you for who you are without being a threat to that, I promise you. You've always been with me, (Y/N). You were there when I started to figure out who I am, and I'm not there yet, so without you, I don't know who I'll become. And I know that I can't rely on you to do that for me, but...just...(Y/N), don't leave."

"You don't need me, Buck. You have Steve now, and Nat will be there if you need her."

"It's not the same."

A sound just outside of your office caught your attention, looking up to see Tony standing at the window and watching as you spoke. He looked remorseful, and you could feel the apology emanating from him even from so far away. He had to be your first priority, just as you had promised him long before this moment. "I have to go," you said calmly, "but I'll think about what you've said, I promise."

~~~

Bucky waited for a full week before he felt like he could even try to connect with you again, but when he had found the time to step away to do it, he couldn't bring himself to make the attempt. He had been busy with Steve once he returned to Wakanda, trying to rebuild their friendship and to remember those memories from decades ago, and he had been so immersed that it helped to pass the time. Natasha was becoming a closer friend as well, the two of them finding that their past together wasn't a barrier as they had feared. Bucky couldn't tell if they would ever reach the connection that he had felt with you, and he honestly doubted it, but it was at least something to push back against the hollow pit of loneliness that he constantly stood at the edge of. It made him believe that maybe you were right, and a resolution could be found; he happened to have better options towards it than you did, however.

Bucky approached the quiet balcony where Wanda had spent much of her day, reading and enjoying the warm sun. She looked too peaceful to interrupt, but he had to before he could change his mind. "Wanda," he asked quietly, "I may not have the right to ask, since we barely know each other, but could I ask a favor?"

She nodded gently, setting her book down at her side with a simple wave to direct him to the chair next to him. She sat in complete silence as he spoke, explaining the pain and confusion, and the connection with you that he had feared to lose but also feared keeping; she listened to every word until he stopped and simply released the breath he had been unknowingly holding. Without a sound, she raised her hands, consumed within a glowing red haze, lying one over his chest and the other against his cheek, her innate sense of empathy offering her only answer. Bucky doubled over, a wave of pain filling his chest, but she kept her hold, following him as he tumbled to the floor.

"I can't remove the connection," she said sadly, "but I can suppress it. I can hide it. Is that what you want?"

"Yes," he groaned breathlessly, "please. I just want...to make it stop."

~~~

Tony had thought that a walk in the city would be a nice reminder of that date before it all fell apart, when he had proposed and you accepted; it would be a reminder that the two of you had yet to be able to plan for that wedding and there was no time like the present. But as you walked along past the tower for a little nostalgia, just as when you had connected for the very first time, the sensation now was overwhelming and as if out of nowhere. It felt as if a hand had been thrust into your chest and was trying to rip your heart out through the ribs, a crushing, suffocating pain that stole your air, and left you clutching Tony's arm in the midst of your first attempt at time alone in far too long.

"Whoa, sweetheart, what is it?" When your grip only tightened and your feet began to falter, he turned you so that he could get his arms around you to lift you against him. "(Y/N), come on, just breathe, alright? You're scaring me."

"He's..." you stopped, struggling to follow his request.

"No, shh, just breathe."

"Tony..." you continued anyway, "he's gone."