There is always something unspoken between two people.

/

You forget about your brokenness, for a split second. All you can think about is the feel of his hands against your body.

You are afraid. You are afraid of being in his arms, because you feel like he will destroy you all over again. So you cannot look into his eyes, because he would know you were afraid.

And he was afraid, too. He was afraid that he will feel for you more than he should, because this is a one time thing, right?

Neither of you don't know what to expect, so you don't expect anything.

You wish you could explain the sinking in your stomach; ships finally giving into the storm. And the shaking in your hands, that you try to cover up, as if my neurons weren't filled with chaos.

You wish you could explain the buzzing in your brain: bees whispering wrongs to you like the words to your favorite song. And the cuts, so deeply rooted in your chest that no one knows they're there looking from the outside.

You wish you could explain your whole, wavering body, filled with misconceptions, and poison, and organs you think have turned into black holes.

His hands caress your cheeks, and your arms, and your hips. And you want the touch to feel right, you want it to be like it was before.

But the reality never matches your memories, because he was once perfect in your eyes and now only a silhouette of what once was.

You gave him just enough information so that he could lie convincingly. He knew what you wanted to hear, and that's why you didn't want him to speak.

Because he would tell you everything you secretly wanted to hear, but didn't. Because this wasn't him. To you, he wasn't.

Touching him was like listening to an old song that was once your favorite. His skin was soft under your cold fingertips, and you don't remember much, because your heart wasn't fluttering like it should have been.

So you bring your bodies impossibly close, praying that you feel what you should. Because you want to prove to the voice in the back of your mind who whispers that it's wrong- you want to prove it that it's wrong. That this feels right.

But it doesn't.