Dhruv put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a shake. "Ditiya?" Her smile got wider, but she didn't wake up. Shit. Suddenly a scent reached inside her nostrils, she became keenly aware of a fragrance that was very liking. Slowly, she raised her head, opened her eyes and looked straight into his face, "Good morning, my darling! Happy six months Anniversary!" Dhruv's face was barely visible behind an enormous pink and white bouquet.

"Flowers, where have you been keeping that?" He stuck his head around the nosegay. "six months, Ditz. Six months!" she looked up into his chocolate brown eyes, seeing the unshed tears, reading his happiness. Ditiya's face broke into a wide, magnificent smile. Leaning close, she kissed him tenderly on the cheek. He closed his eyes at her touch. She kissed him gently on the lips.

She patted a space on the bed next to her as she smiled at him0 hopefully. He sat down. She planted herself atop his lap and wrapped her arms around him. "They're beautiful," she said.

Ditiya had never been this happy, and she knew that her life was changed forever, though Mr. And Mrs. Virk didn't think the same way, her parents were not happy when they found out the two were dating and tried to persuade Ditiya not to date Dhruv. They could not agree with the trencher of their daughter marrying a man whose wife had committed suicide. She placed the bouquet very gently on the table by her bed. Suddenly he wanted to kiss her, not a quick peck or a teasing brush but a real kiss right there, in that very moment. He brought her against him. His lips met her soft warm ones that tasted sweet like honey.

"I want us to have a special day. What do you think?" he asked, tilting his head down to let his lips brush her neck.

"l think I can't believe that I have forgotten that we have already had spent 6 months together." She brought her face close to his so that her lips were touching his ear. She said playfully "What sort of special day?"

"Look, I want to eat a candlelight dinner at your favorite restaurant and hold hands while we stroll through the park."

"Sounds good."

He got up from the bed. "take a lazy bath while I prepare breakfast for us and then see what we feel like doing. Do you fancy a film this afternoon?"

"Why not?"

.......

Dhruv twirled a spaghetti noodle around his fork. "Here is what I'm thinking." Ditiya took a sip of her wine and looked over the glass at him.

"Want you to move in with me."

Ditiya took another sip of the sparkling wine. She folded her arms across her chest and cleared her throat before answering, "I can't move in with you."

"Why not? I need a roommate, and I want you with me."

"Because we haven't been together long enough"

"I haven't felt the way you're making me feel in a very long time. And honestly, I never thought I would again get be with you again. I don't take life for granted. You can't put things off like that," Panic began to rise inside him as Dhruv thought to control his emotions.

"I plan on being with you if you'll let me. Plus, you don't even have your own place some days you stay with and some days at your sister's house. So why don't you move in with for permanent?"

"I am just staying there until I find someplace else that I can afford." Ditiya tried to offer the reason why.

"I'm offering my love, my heart, and my home. Please take them. I won't let you down."

She gazed at her vegetables and mashed potatoes. She took a small bite of her food. "I don't want to ruin what we have. What if I move in and we don't work out? Then what?

"How can't it work?"

"Honestly, you think this won't work for us? Because I think it was great when we used to share the house, I think if you feel the same way about me as I feel about you...."

"Let's give it some time." Ditiya was trying to stop herself from rushing into something that had the potential. And she didn't want her parents to be unhappy with Dhruv.

"Okay, I'll give you until... hmm. let's see, next week to move all your stuff in." Dhruv reached over the table and held It had been a long time since last he was this happy.

This was quite scary for Ditiya and she held his hand even tighter, "are you still gonna want me like you do if I say no? "She asked calmly. A look of slight hurt in his sparkling, dark eyes.

All he felt was a lonely disappointment at the blunt rejection. He nodded at her. Yes, he mouthed.

"Dance with me?" she asked as she leaned into him. The restaurant played Elvis Presley and the crowd loved it. Ditiya wants to dance this one with him. The song was Can't help falling in love.

She threw her arms around him and then started sort of dragging him around the dance floor. She pleaded, looking him straight into his wondering eyes.

He shook his head and grabbed her hand tight in his.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he held her close, so her head rested against his chest as they slowly swayed. I want to make love to you Scarlet, to caress your sweet tender

"Dhruv I want you to make love to me over and over again, nonstop, whenever and wherever we can." She looked into her eyes; her pupils were so dilated that there was only a slight ring around the now around her melting chocolate eyes.

"All you want is to have sex with me!" Dhruv said, unable to stop himself from saying the words, despite the fact that he knew he shouldn't. Dhruv wished she could say the words he wanted to hear, that she was ready to settle down and make a home, but she didn't. She loosened her grip on him briefly, "Baby, baby, baby, listen to me, you're not getting my point here," She whispered in a loving tone.

"Why must you always have excuses?" His voice sounded strange—tired, strained and a little annoyed. He was still upset with her.

She paused for a moment, tilting her head so slightly to one side. She opened her mouth to say something but didn't. "Sorry," she eventually said, but it didn't sound very convincing.

"I just don't understand what you're trying to say to me. What does that even mean? I use you for sex?" The last words trailed off quietly, expression hurt.

"No. That's not what -" When Dhruv heard her he shook his head, and began to sigh deeply. Of course, he had fucked up already. "Nothing. Never mind. I didn't mean it like that."

"You can't just insult me and then say never mind, Dhruv," Her eyes widened and he saw her face beginning to pucker into a disappointed frown.

"I'm not insulting you," Dhruv managed slowly, calmly, trying to push down his own frustration from creeping up from within his chest was not sure if he was more frustrated at himself or at Ditiya.

"I'm trying to communicate. You seemed distracted and not really into us. That bugged me because I really love you. It's just this feeling I get sometimes. Maybe it's just me being sensitive."

"I think so."

Dhruv inhaled sharply, pursing his lips together as he fumbled through tangled thoughts for words. "I just mean - sometimes I worry it's all sex between us. Like, without it, what would we be?"

"You keep saying you aren't insulting me, but I feel pretty fucking insulted right now. First, you're saying I am distracted whenever I am with you, and now you're saying that all we do together is sex?" She said and started walking toward the door of the restaurant. Her face was scrunched together, expression pained and eyes flashing with anger.

"I think we're finished here. Bring me the bill, please." The waiter didn't have to be told twice. Going and coming back in less than five.

Despite her very high-speed walking, Dhruv managed to get right behind her, he stretched and grabbed Ditiya's wrist and drew her stumbling to her feet and took her in his arms. He knew he wouldn't be able to explain himself properly, that Ditiya would get upset anyway. She tried to struggle out of his grasp, but he held her, one arm around her waist, the other against her shoulder "I didn't say anything with the intention to hurt you. I just said everything ends in sex, and I don't know -"

"We're having sex because we like having sex with each other!" She nearly cries out in frustration. "What's so wrong with that?" she took a small step backward and lifted herself away from him.

"I wish it was not everything in our relationship," Dhruv said quietly.

Ditiya laughed sourly into thin air, shaking her head. People were looking at them curiously as they drove up and onto the road.

"Fine," she said, giving in. "Why do you suddenly think having sex might be wrong? My god, Dhruv, this is so unbelievable that it's humorous. You sound like such a hypocrite right now. If all the sex we're having really bothers you that much, then why do you initiate it more than I do?" When Dhruv didn't answer right away, she continued by saying with a hint of distaste, "Silly me, here I was thinking that it actually makes the need for close relationships stronger."

Dhruv clenched his jaw to keep from groaning aloud in frustration. "It's not that! All I'm trying to say is that if don't know if you will be every ready to settle down with me. I have no idea how you feel. I keep trying to - Fuck, Ditiya." Dhruv put his face into his hands, taking in a deep breath. He waited a minute, maybe three, Dhruv was having difficulty spitting the question from his mouth. Finally, he gained enough courage to ask, "Do you really love me?"

"What?"

His heart was still pounding as he forced herself to look up and meet her eyes. "It's a simple question," he said a bit louder, voice noticeably shaking. "simple question to which you can answer either yes or no Ditiya."

"You just insulted me. Do you really think I'm in the mood to praise you for that?"

"It's not a praise, Ditiya! Oh God. I've told you uncountable times in the past few months that I love you, and you reply it with I know. You barely even acknowledge it sometimes. So excuse me for feeling a little insecure about where we stand."

She took a steadying breath, waited until she was sure her voice would be strong, "I wasn't ready..." she said after a few tense, silent moments.

"Ready for what? We've known each other for nine or ten years!"

"We have changed so much Dhruv. I saw so many places and humans and You were settled down with someone."

"So what?" Dhruv asked with a heavy chest. "You don't love me now?"

"That's not what I'm saying! Goddamnit, Dhruv!" she said loudly, nearly shouting. "Yes, okay?" she said, her voice breaking as she tried to stem the tears. "Yes, I love you! Are you fucking happy now?"

Dhruv stared at her, chest heaving and thoughts racing. "No," he eventually said, "not when you say it like that like it's painful to even utter that you love me."

"Sorry if I'm not exactly bursting with happy feelings right now. I told you I wasn't ready. You're the one that cornered me!"

"How can you even get mad at me for this?" Dhruv asked unfathomably. "How am I supposed to know how you feel? I'm not a mind reader. There's only so far I can go without having a clue what you're thinking or feeling back."

"I told you I care about you. I call you my fucking boyfriend. I practically live in your house -"

"But you don't want to move in with me permanently," he said, his tone reminding her of a fact, "because you said no when I asked." Ditiya tried to open her mouth, to most likely yell some more, but Dhruv continued before she could get a word out, "And you've had like, hundreds of boyfriends before us. How am I supposed to know whether I'm any different? Is it really too much to ask to have some idea how you feel about me? After everything?"

Ditiya's mouth dropped open and she couldn't help the stare of disbelief, she was very offended and the rash of anger flared up on her neck. "I have not had hundreds of relationships."

"Well, there's been a hell of a lot more than my one," The man, for his part, argued back, stubbornly maintaining his status. "Come on, Ditiya whenever you called me you were with a new me."

"You just said you love me, now you're calling me a whore, Go ahead!" Ditiya said with tears streaming

"What?" Dhruv asked, a mixed look of frustration and slight confusion crossing his face "No," he said firmly, "all I'm saying is that a lot of them have come and gone, and how am I supposed to know that I'm any different... You will keep to forever?"

"The fact that you're even questioning it is - mind-boggling. I never went through even half the shit with them as I have with you. There's not even a comparison... I can't even believe - God." Ditiya turned her back on Dhruv, began to walk away from him as if he'd been dismissed... Her shoulders heaved as she sighed and turned back to face him again, "All those relationships were so insignificant. I didn't think I had to explain your importance over them. You had a lover and wife, you cheated on her with me and you're going off on me like I have something to apologize for?"

"What are you - Why are you even bringing Shreya into this? That's completely beside the point! This is about you never telling me how you felt. Am I just supposed to guess and hope I'm right? Your silence makes me wonder if I could be just as insignificant as all the others, just a bit of fun for now. I told you how I felt, I told you I loved you. That's the difference."

Ditiya looked at him and suddenly she laughed, out loud, an ugly, harsh laugh. "Oh my god, can you even hear yourself? After everything, everything we've been through, you're seriously questioning whether you're insignificant? You know you're not. And not only that, but you're throwing my past at me like I'm proud of it? Because yes, Dhruv, you're right, I have been with a lot of people, I've had my share of relationships. I even loved some of them, but a lot of them I regret. I never thought that it would affect our relationship." Her voice choked on the words and tears spilled down her cheeks. Dhruv watched her carefully, barely breathing, the honking of a dozen car horns sent fresh pain into his head

"There's a reason this has been going on for ten years when those others couldn't even make it a year. Not one. The longest was Neil, He was gay and he was in love with another MAN! I was just a safe hiding for him. So why do you get to act like the one that was hurt? I might've slept around, but as far as I could see, you didn't want me. I left you, you didn't stop me, and six months later you were married, with the person you loved. What does that say to me? If anyone should be worried, it should be me, because I was the one who got my heart broken and left pining while you found the one."

"That's not even - that's not true," Dhruv fumbled with his words as he stated. Ditiya noticeably fighting back tears. "You didn't want me and then you weren't even around -"

"What did you expect me to do? Sit around and wait for you to divorce Shreya? Maybe then you would come back." she snapped at him, her eyes flashing with anger. "You didn't want me, and you made that abundantly clear. And then your wife dies, and suddenly you always loved me?"

"You don't believe that I love you?" he asked. Hurt. His face was showing hurt.

"No, that's not it," Ditiya said. "It is hard, maybe I didn't tell you I loved you yet, because it's not so easy for me either."

By now, Dhruv had forgotten how the argument even started. Dhruv looked at her shocked. Even she looked surprised by her admission. he stared, caught in the raw look in her eyes, something he had not seen on her in a long time. This was what Dhruv was starving for - truth, for once, but the tears in her eyes and defeated way she held herself ripped at him.

"Ditiya," he started softly, "I'm cannot say that I didn't love Shreya, because I did. But you were also always there. Always. And it was different when it came to you like you said I was different. I hate how everything went down, just as much as you do. And I hate that I hurt you. I'm so, so sorry, Ditiya. I wish we could back in time." He took two steps toward her and stood within arm's length to hold her, to take it all back. She held up both hands between them, stopping him from coming any further but didn't push him away, shaking her head.

"I gotta go. I can't do this right now." Ditiya quickly steadied herself up and started walking away heading towards the bus stop

"Ditiya wait..." he called, softly drawling her name. He sighed angrily when she didn't turn back.

"No, I need to think about - about all of this. I don't even know how to process it all."

He called, but she kept walking away. "Ditiya!" He shouted her name louder, and she stopped and spun toward him. He didn't have a clue, what to say to make her stop, to fix it. Everything happened so quickly that he didn't even know what to fix. "Hey," he said, bounding after her, "you can't walk away like that."

By that time, they were a few seconds walk away from the bus stop, he could see it from where they were standing. "I am going to Di's...I just need to clear my mind and get some sleep. Lie down on a bed and close my eyes- without you." Ditiya's eyes lingered on his face for an instant. Then she looked away, her eyes going swiftly around the area. "Please, just give me space for like, a day, okay?"

Dhruv's heart sank when he realized what she was asking—breakup. He didn't know if he'd be able to convince her to stay but he had to try, he didn't know if he could survive it if she left again. Before at least he had Shreya to take his mind off the Ditiya but now without he how would he manage.

"Please, don't say that" was all he managed to get out of the mouth.

"I am. This is just too much. I can't think." Ditiya threw her hands up in the air, arms flapping in frustration. "Please don't call me every second. Respect my choice please. Give some time okay?"

Dhruv opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted then by a bus as it fast approached, winding down the road and coming to a screeching halt just ahead of them. He watched her get into the bus soon the bus drive away, without a backward glance from Ditiya.

***** I am so sorry for late update, hope you all like it though.

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