" ✌︎☹︎❄︎☟︎⚐︎🕆︎☝︎☟︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎🕯︎💧︎ ☠︎⚐︎ ☹︎⚐︎☠︎☝︎☜︎☼︎ ✌︎☠︎✡︎ ☼︎⚐︎⚐︎💣︎ ❄︎⚐︎ ❄︎☼︎🕆︎💧︎❄︎ 💣︎☜︎📪︎ ✋︎ ☟︎⚐︎🏱︎☜︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎ 👍︎✌︎☠︎ ☹︎☜︎✌︎☼︎☠︎ ❄︎⚐︎ ❄︎☼︎🕆︎💧︎❄︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎💣︎. "

You were lucky.

There was nothing else amongst the lists of tests needed to be run that came even close to painful compared to that initial strike to your soul. Although Gaster explained that it took a good chuck out of your HP. By the end of the day, you learned that your normal twenty was down to twelve.

After that first extraction, you were dreadfully lifeless for the rest of the day, nearly giving in to whatever may happen, despite that your soul screamed for you not to. Maybe it was because you knew he could just hold you down with his magic if you tried to run or resist. Or maybe it was because he took some of the determination straight from your soul.

The rest of the day had endurance tests, and Gaster could not muster enough carelessness and apathy to continue with anything else. So he teleported you both back to Snowdin after he was done inputting initial numbers. He saw how for the rest of the day you cradled your right arm close to you, and you didn't let him touch you at all.

He couldn't even get close enough to try and heal you - as measly of a job it would have been. So he gave you a sling for your arm and told you to fasten it to yourself, since you were adamant on him not getting any closer. You clipped it into place and gently laid your arm into it, grateful for the pressure on your shoulder relieved. It was still in pain, but better than when you were dragging it around earlier.

That didn't meant you trusted him. No, you trusted him even less than before because of this stunt. Not to mention the lingering comment he made that this would not be the first time he would need to do something like this. He swore he would try his best to avoid actions like those, but it didn't make you feel much better, because you knew that he wouldn't hesitate resorting to pulling out pieces of your soul if need be.

The thought scared you; because it was more than a thought now. It was a completely real possibility - a very likely possibility.

God, you really really needed a hug right now.

But you settled for wrapping your good arm around yourself and crinkling your red jacket closer to your body.

Gaster had teleported the two of you into the house, right in front of the door. You had your head dug into your jacket's hood and you were shrinking into yourself the longer Gaster stood beside you.

"DADDY!" Papyrus's loud voice didn't really startle you after the first couple of days, but after the traumatizing events of today, it scared you enough that you shuffled backwards. Your eyes still had that dull lifelessness to them, but you slowly backed yourself up against the door. A sharp glance from Gaster was the only thing stopping you from making a run for it.

"hey dad." Sans commented as he poked his head out of his room. "home already?"

"I'm just here to take Papyrus to the dentist." Gaster said with a tired tone that Sans recognized. It must have been a long day. Sans figured you'd given his father a hard time during the tests today and held some silent negativity about the idea.

"NOOO!" Papyrus cried, trying to run before Gaster snatched him up into his arms.

"Aha! No you don't." He chuckled with a tired grin. Sans could tell that something was still on his father's mind. "Come on Papyrus, I thought you said you were never afraid of anything."

"I-I'M NOT!" The little skeleton refuted. "B-BUT THAT THING SCARES ME!"

"what, the dentist chair?" Sans joked with a teasing grin as he leaned against the stair railing from the second floor.

"NO!" Papyrus fumed. "THE - THE DRILLS!"

"Do not worry, Papyrus. Everything will be fine." Gaster shifted Papyrus to hold more comfortably before the scientist turned his attention to his eldest son. "Sans... Could you please keep an eye on (Y/N)?"

Before Sans could answer, Gaster was gone, but not before giving you a single glance. It wasn't hostile, but it wasn't exactly friendly, or even pitiful either. It was blank, and it scared you.

When he finally blinked out of existance, you collapsed, sliding down against the front door with a slight thud and uneven breaths. You clutched the white t-shirt over your chest with your shaking left hand and Sans stared at you in shock from the top floor.

Without much warning, he moved away from the railing and appeared right in front of you. You reacted faster than he anticipated and shoved him back with a weak push. It was all that was needed for him to stumble back and land on his bottom though. He stared at you with wide eyes as you curled into yourself, wrapping your arm around the one in a sling and pulling your knees closer to your chest.

Wait- why was your arm in a sling? You were fine this morning! What happened? Did you put up such a fight with his father that you hurt yourself? Because - because... Sans's mind stalled and he could feel his own panic attack threaten to begin when he thought about the idea that his father had hurt you. He almost wanted to puke at the idea of you having bled because of one of his father's attacks or something of the like.

NO!

Sans shook his skull. "No." He spoke this time to reassure himself. The scientist wouldn't hurt you unless provoked, so this was either an accident, or you did something that prompted his father to hurt you. That's right, his dad would never...

He shook his skull again, taking in your appearance. He couldn't let you have a panic attack the moment his father was gone. Gaster specifically told him to keep an eye on you, and if you passed out because you couldn't breathe - well... He wanted to avoid the consequences of letting that happen.

Your body was trembling, and he could actually hear faint whimpers from you. This was probably a worse attack than last week's. That was bad. "hey." Sans tried to get your attention. You wouldn't even raise your head to try and look at him, but he couldn't risk touching you. You might turn worse if he tried to touch you.

"hey!" He said a little louder. He could see you wrap yourself tighter. Any tighter and you would probably hurt your arm again. "look i need you to breathe. you gotta breathe slowly or you're gonna pass out."

He straightened himself, now sitting on his knees and inching closer. "you're having a panic attack, and it's worse than the one last time. you gotta breathe." His voice was getting lower and lower, but more gentle as he got closer to you.

"it's ok. everything's gonna be alright."

That was a mistake.

"LIAR!" You shouted back at him, louder than he'd ever heard you speak.

Sans was so shocked by your sudden outburst that his eye ignited into a bright blue, but it wasn't even a second later that it disappeared. Your breathing was becoming even more erratic and now you were nearly gasping for air, but you were finally look at him now. He could see anger and tears and betrayal flickering in and out of that dullness in your eyes and he felt something in himself being pulled in two different directions.

What happened?

If you could make out his expression from beyond the burning sting of your tears, you would see that he was at a loss. He didn't know what to do - he'd never known that a panic attack like this could be so close to a violent outburst too.

He disappeared in that same moment, but you didn't let yourself relax - more like you couldn't. Sans was right, if you continued the way you were right now, you'd pass out from a lack of oxygen very soon. Your head was swimming with emotions, and they all crashed into each other so frantically that you couldn't even form a full thought. Your shut your eyes tightly, hoping that the lack of stimulus would help you focus more.

It wasn't until something touched you that they snapped back open again. Sans was leaning over you for only a second, and that was all he needed to wrap his old blue blanket around you. He wrapped it so tight that you almost couldn't move, but in some strange way, it was comforting.

He took several steps back when he was done. Glancing at your figure he found that, despite still having a hard time breathing, you were no longer holding those embers of hate in your eyes. Good! That was good! At least he thought it was. He could at least have a peace of mind that you wouldn't suddenly lunge at and dust him in his own house.

"breathe, (Y/N)." He said gently, making the motions your lungs should have with his hands. Eventually you did, your gasps turning into dramatic hiccups instead.

Still, a funny question entered your mind. How would he know your lungs moved like that if he didn't have any? It was amusing enough of an idea that you felt your mind slow down. You were finally able to piece together rational thoughts - or at least some logical questions.

"i'm gonna make you a cup of tea, ok?" He said turning away when he realized that you were finally breathing again. You didn't give him an answer, but that was alright, because he was going to do it anyway. You stayed there, slumped against the door, wrapped up in his blanket while you watched him enter the kitchen. He boiled some water, shuffled through the cabinets, and made you tea.

It was weird how he was only kind to you when you'd have panic attacks. You'd probably do the same to him though. You finally steadied your hiccups to some mildly uneven breaths, and you could smell faint hints of sour ketchup on the blanket. Ok, that was disgusting. You took another glance at it, realizing there were a few stains on it, a noticeable tear in the fabric, and a few loose ends- OH MY GOD.

You snickered to yourself, staring at Sans with a teasing glance as he walked over to you with a cup of Golden Flower Tea.

"here." He placed it in front of you, and you took it into your hands, but not before you said something with interlaced giggled.

"Is this your blankie?" You couldn't help yourself.

Sans stiffened, his bones going rigid and his eye sockets wide, his white eye lights completely gone. You got your answer when a blue blush spread all across his face, his mouth agape enough for you to see that he had some fangs growing in. He was gonna stammer out a denial, but he couldn't even get his voice to work, so he just buried himself deeper into his sweater.

"Holy shit, it is!" You cried, completely taken by surprise. You would start laughing - actually it was completely reasonable for you to laugh - but he did just help you out of a panic attack, so you tried your best not to. Although, another thought began to settle in. "You'd give me your blankie, just to..." You trailed off, as a more pressing question surfaced. "Why?"

The blanket was old, obviously used often, and well loved, but not abused. So why would he give you it? He had to have seriously strong emotional attachment to it, as you remembered he had it wrapped around him during that night last week.

Sans hadn't said anything to you for a while. He wondered himself as to why he'd given that to you. He hadn't even thought about it - he just rushed to get it and comfort you with it.

"you looked like you needed it." His voice was just above a whisper.

You stared up at him, completely confused, but thankful all the same. You both held a foreign gentleness in your eyes even if neither of them made contact.

"Thanks." You said, coming out of your curled position.

"'s no problem." He muttered, turning away. He was still standing up, and just shuffled there awkwardly.

After taking a single sip of the tea, you shakily tried to stand on your own, but considering that both your hands weren't exactly able to prop you up, Sans had to help you stand. He supported your left elbow and despite your knees being a little shaky, you leaned and wrapped Sans in an awkward one armed hug. Your elbow bending around his neck as you kept your head down to lay on his opposite shoulder. You were about the same height.

"Thank you, Sans."

He stood there completely shocked, and a little stiff, but his bones weren't rattling, and you didn't feel or see the smoke pouring from his eye, so he wasn't hostile. You were still holding your cup of tea in your left hand, but he shifted to awkwardly hug you back as well. Maybe you could trust him. Maybe you should trust him. You had to trust someone after all.

"You're welcome, (Y/N)."

If Sans so fiercely protected Papyrus, perhaps if you got him to trust you, just as you planned to learn to trust him... Maybe he could protect you all the same. Despite everything - despite that you were hopeless and terrified, you felt Sans give you a surge of courage. The possibility filled you with determination and hope.