Chapter 4

“I swear, Moira, you won’t be able to perform well if you abuse your body,” Ate Nina warned.

I grabbed the water bottle near my bag and took a sip. Hinabol ko ang akin hininga bago naupo sa sahig at sumandal sa malaking salamin. I wiped the sweat on my forehead and looked at Ate Nina and Jesh. They both crossed their hands as they watched me.

“I’m fine, Ate,” I replied. “Just go home. Baka magalit pa si AC na ang tagal niyo.”

Jesh sighed and rolled her eyes. “One hour, Moira. If you’re not home by one hour, susunduin talaga kitang babae ka. Halatang pagod ka na, e. We’re done with the practice today, don’t push yourself too much.”

I nodded. “Don’t worry, one hour will do. Besides, I’ll take a short break now, okay? Ingat!”

Wala silang nagawa kaya kahit labag sa loob nila ay iniwan nila ako sa practice room. Ilang beses pa akong pinaalalahanan ni Jesh na isang oras lang ako dapat. We have upcoming performances again and we have to perform two songs for an event. To be honest, I also wanted to go home with them. However, I was not satisfied today. I felt like there was something lacking with the details. I couldn’t do the steps smoothly.

When one hour came. Jesh called me. Madaling araw na rin naman kaya naman tumigil na ako.

I just hope that everything was worth it. And that someday, my hard work would pay-off.

Muntik na akong matumba nang biglang yumakap si Jesh sa akin pagkapasok ko sa dorm. She then scanned me, a frown forming on her forehead.

Her lips pursed. “Go and rest now, babe. You look pale already!”

I pouted. “I’m just dehydrated, I guess? I forgot to drink water after I practiced.”

Halos wala na akong lakas din na kumuha ng tubig kanina kaya diretso na akong umuwi pagkatapos ko magpahinga saglit.

Jesh guided me inside until I sat on the couch. She went to get me water, to which I thanked her. She sat beside me and massaged my shoulder. My body relaxed at her touch which made me shut my eyes.

“Come on, you should go to the room, Moi,” Jesh said. “I’ll give you a quick massage there. Para naman makatulog ka’t makapagpahinga.”

“Thank you so much, Jesh.”

She smiled at me. “You deserve it, our hard-working main dancer.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I groaned. The throbbing in my head didn’t help with my body condition today. The others stared at me while we were eating. I looked at them and frowned.

Ate Nina sighed. “Are you really okay? You don’t look good at all.”

Tumango ako. “Okay lang, Ate.”

Tumitig siya sa akin nang ilang minuto at napailing na lamang. Mabilis naman ako napalingon kay AC nang peke siyang umubo. 

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t you dare mess up our performance later, Moira!”

As if I would. Well, I hope I won't.

People like us don’t have the right to be sick. Our bodies shouldn’t affect our schedules unless we’re injured. 

I’ve long accepted that already. Kaya nga kahit may lagnat ay madalas tuloy pa rin ang pag perform namin. Kahit na madulas ka sa stage ay kailangan tumayo at magpatuloy lang. Just like the saying that the show must go on. Even if it means risking our lives. After all, we’re performers. We live to perform even if our bodies were giving up. At least, that is what our company taught us during our trainee days.

When I went back to the room to grab my bag, my eyes went to the oil that Hendreich gave me. I took a deep breath before I grabbed it and slid it inside my sling bag.

A small smile formed on my lips.

Jesh gave me a nudge while we walked towards the van. “You’re the only sick person I know that was smiling as if you’re in love.”

I blinked. “Do I look like a person who is in love?”

She nodded. “A bit. You were smiling at your bag when you came back from the room, babe.”

I shook my head and pursed my lips.

Hindi naman na siya nangulit nang makapasok kami sa van. Just like usual, we took a nap during the whole drive to the salon. We also tried to take a nap when we were doing our hair and makeup,

“Please, Moira, take some rest!” Ate Nina let out a dramatic sigh. She pulled me and forced me to sit on the chair in the corner where she could see me while fixing her shoulder-length black hair that was pulled into a ponytail.

Ngumuso ako ngunit sumunod din sa kanya. I was just trying to recall some steps when she stopped me. I could only be a good girl and obey Ate Nina.

Alam ko rin naman na kailangan ko na tumigil sa pagkilos lalo na't bumibigat ang pakiramdam at para bang lalagnatin na ako.

I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes before exhaling slowly to stabilize the beating of my heart. My shoulder relaxed at what I did.

I practiced a lot of times. I should be okay, right?

I tried to take a rest while waiting. However, the stares of AC and Debbie made me feel even more restless. They're probably thinking about how they would insult me and blame me if I ever screwed everything up because I wasn't feeling well.

“Are you girls ready?” the assistant producer asked.

We all nodded. We were told to stand by because we’ll be the next ones to perform after the rookies of E Entertainment. I glanced at the monitor in our dressing room. The new boy group’s intro was something simple yet powerful.

Jesh sipped on her coffee and stood beside me. “Wow. I could say that their company has the best visuals. Look at those young boys, they’re so handsome!”

Tumango ako sa kanya. Aside from vocals, E Entertainment was also a home of visuals. May mga time na akala ng iba ay under ako ng kompanya na iyon dahil daw maganda ako at bagay doon. I appreciate it, but I did hope that I’ll be deserving to be part of that company because of my talent not because of my face.

We stood in line and waited for our cue to go on the stage. 

I took a deep breath and focused on our performance. I don’t even know how many times I tried to blink the tears away while my body moved. I wanted to collapse. I tried hard not to.

I stayed backstage to rest in a corner. Pakiramdam ko ay babagsak na ako pag naglakad pa ako. Jesh wanted to stay with me but she has to prepare for the special stage with other idols while Ate Nina needs to talk to our manager regarding her schedule for the next day.

“Hi, are you alright?” one of the staff asked. She eyed me worriedly as I stood to go back to the dressing room.

Isang pilit na ngiti ang binigay ko sa kanya at tumango. Her eyes followed me until I was in the hallway. I let out a sigh of relief when the hallway was empty. Mabagal akong naglakad para hindi mawalan ng balanse.

However, luck was not on my side today. I almost lost my balance but someone behind me held me on my shoulders and helped me stand straight. His hands didn’t leave my shoulders until I stood steadily.

My eyes blinked when I looked at the person who caught me.

Hendreich stepped back, putting a bit of distance between us. He licked his lower lip while his eyes met mine. I bowed my head before I looked away when he just stared at me.

“Why are you alone when you're obviously not okay right now?” he asked with a frown.

I bit my lower lip. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Hendreich stepped closer. “Let me walk you back to your dressing room.”

Umiling kaagad ako sa kanya. “Okay lang. Kaya ko naman na. Medyo nahilo lang talaga ako.”

Hindi kaagad siya nagsalita. My heart accelerated when he suddenly touched me on my forehead. When he realized what he had done, he pulled his hand back. He then laughed awkwardly as he combed his black curly hair.

“Sorry. I should have asked for your permission.”

“It’s fine,” I said, still trying to calm the beating of my heart. I could still feel his touch, which was not a great help.

Hendreich waved his hands in front of me. “See, you’re zoning out. Medyo mainit ka rin. So please let me walk you back, okay?”

My lips parted and I couldn’t help but just nod my head. He was hesitant to touch me again. That's why he asked me if it was okay if he'd hold me by my shoulder. Even if it was awkward, I just let him. Besides, I appreciate his help. I also don’t want to suddenly collapse because I felt a little bit dizzy.

Hendreich leaned forward while we walked. “Don’t mind them,” he said as his grip tightened.

He might have sensed that I was uncomfortable in the eyes of those who were watching us when we passed by in the hallway where there were some staff and artists from different companies.

As much as I don’t want to overreact, I could sense another issue coming about the two of us. Still, I didn't want to reject his offer when I felt his sincerity that he was worried about me. We may not be that close and people may gossip about us, but for some reason, I was at ease knowing that he was kind to me.

“Moira!”

I frowned when AC ran towards me and clung to my arms when Hendreich and I walked inside the room. She then glanced at the person beside me and bowed a bit. “Hi, Kuya Hendreich!”

“Hello,” he greeted her politely. “Sorry I have to guide Moira back. She’s not feeling well and she seems to collapse anytime.”

“Thank you, Kuya Hendreich. Sorry din if naabala ka ni Moira,” our leader gave an apologetic look.

I bit my lower lip and looked away. However, my attention turned back to the person who helped me. He chuckled lightly while waving his hands.

Hendreich’s eyes met mine. His eyes were bright and full of life. He gave me those comforting smiles before he faced AC again. “I insisted. Please advise your main dancer to rest sometimes. Take care of her.”

Then he glanced at the others in the room before he bid his farewell.

My eyes blinked a few times as I stared at his retreating back. Did he just really wink at me before he left?

Was he flirting or… 

I shook my head. I shouldn’t read too much about the situation and how he treats me. Still, he has a history of flirting with a lot of girls in this industry but he was also genuinely kind to others, especially to his juniors.

Nagpanggap na lang akong tulog sa waiting room para umiwas sa mga mata na nakatingin sa akin. Even Mica was glaring at me when Hendreich left. I balled my fist when I heard our manager’s giggle when AC told her about what happened earlier.

Jesh then whispered to my ears. “I’m just glad that he was with you. Ate and I are worried about you, Moi.” My eyes opened at her touch. She caressed me on my shoulder. “Kuya Hendreich is nice. Mukhang seryoso naman na gusto ka lang niya alalayan dahil halata naman na hindi ka okay.”

I opened my eyes slightly and smiled. “Thank you, Jesh.”

They may gossip about others, but I know that they don’t judge that easily. Well, Ate Nins and Jesh still have doubts when it comes to boys. They were also concerned with my issue with the visual of the Grand Knights. They told me to be careful around him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

My head turned to Jesh when she let out a sigh. She pouted, staring at me. “Do you want to come?”

I shook my head. “It’s fine, Jesh. I’ll be fine here. Besides, uuwi rin sila Mommy bukas, ‘di ba?”

My family was not aware that I was given a break for a week, so I understand that they’re not home. I already appreciate the fact that they’ll cut their trip short because I’ll be coming home after a year of not being able to. I feel bad about it. I left them when I was in my teenage years. Now, I’m already an adult but I couldn’t be with them that much since our house was a bit far from the company. Plus, I have to train really hard before, and now I have tight schedules that I barely sleep.

May time na nagbiro si mommy na hindi niya masabi sa iba na pinalaki niya ako, since we all know that I grew up in the company or well… in the dorm. Alone. Dahil ilang oras din ang biyahe pauwi noon na trainee ako, pinatuloy ako sa isang bakante na dorm ng kompanya. May mga panahon naman na dinadalaw ako ng pamilya ko pero iba pa rin talaga kapag kasama ko sila araw-araw.

I smiled when Jesh still stared at me worriedly. I stood and closed her bag full of skincare products. “Come on, Jesh. Uuwi ako bukas kahit pa hindi umuwi sila mommy. Though I doubt that they would. It’s been so long since they last saw me. Still, I appreciate your offer. Thank you.”

She groaned and that made me laugh. I bit my lower lip when she glared at me.

“Basta you can go to my place if ever gusto mo ng kasama, okay? You’re always welcome to come to my place,” she said.

I nodded at her.

Pareho sila ni Ate Nina na ayaw akong iwan sa dorm noong nalaman nilang baka hindi ako umuwi. Kaya nang umalis si Ate ay si Jesh naman ang natira para lang samahan ako. I felt bad because just like me, Jesh didn’t see her family for almost half a year. That’s why I called my mother to inform her about my break and when it was settled that they’ll be coming home tomorrow, Jesh was convinced that I won’t be alone for a week. Kaya naman napilit ko rin na pauwiin siya at hindi niya ako kailangan samahan.

“Take care, Jesh!” I waved my hands at her before she went inside the cab.

I stayed inside the room the whole day and slept. Ngayon ko lang halos naramdaman ang pagod kahit na nagkasakit na ako. Hinayaan ko na rin magpahinga ang aking katawan.

If I’m being honest, every time I practice and close my eyes, I often remember Hendreich’s reminder for me to rest. I know that I don’t have the luxury, but remembering him made me want to give myself time to relax even just a little.

The next morning, I woke up with a smile on my face. I did my stretching routine before I took a shower and packed some things that I would bring with me. Just some skin care products and things I bought for my family.

“Uuwi ka na, Moira?”

I looked at our manager as she entered the dorm.

I nodded.

She did the same and walked near me. “Go stop by the office. Our CEO wants to personally tell you about the new project he approved for you.” Ate then pouted and sat on the couch. “Was it something big? Kahit ako mismo ay hindi pa alam ang magiging schedule mo. Bihira lang ang mga dumidiretso sa CEO para sa mga guesting. Since you debuted, I was the one who handled every gig of the group and even as an individual. Now, I feel like I was left out.”

Kumurap ako habang nakatingin sa kanya. 

She sighed. “Anyways, I was told that I’ll also be informed about it. Iyon nga lang mas gusto ni Mr. Vern na ikaw muna ang unang makaalam tungkol doon. You should go now. Ingat pauwi!”

“Okay, Ate. Thank you,” I replied.

Just like what I was told to, I went to the company. I bowed my head to the staff and waved my hands to the trainees who were on their way to their lessons. They were probably pressured right now since the company was looking for another group to debut.

I knocked twice before I entered Mr. Vern’s office. He darted a glance at me while he was on the phone and gestured to me to sit on the long couch in his office. It only took a minute before he ended the call and sat across from where I was sitting. Mr. Vern put his tablet down on the table.

“That would be the terms and conditions of your contract with the music show,” he said, pointing at the tablet.

My brows furrowed. “Music show?”

He crossed his arms and legs. “The director asked you to be the next emcee of the show along with Hendreich for three months.”

“Hendreich? As in Henreich Lee?”

“Yes. The director saw the two of you in the hallway where Hendreich took care of you. He said that he saw some sparks just by watching from afar,” he replied. “They first contracted E Entertainment and they accepted it. So, I also did the same.”

“But…”

He shook his head. “I know that you will look like you’re using him, Moira Arabella. Still, this is how the industry works. You’ve been all over the place since your name got involved with one of the most known idols. I also don’t want my cousin to think that we’re using Kuya Hendreich but this is an opportunity we should take. Work is work, after all.”

Mr. Vern stood and stared at me with a grin. “By the way, E Entertainment simply informed their artist about the offer to let him decide, especially when he was also getting a lot of attention because of you. And guess what, it was Hendreich who accepted the offer, not his agency or his manager.”

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