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Chapter 7 - Home

"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets."

Arthur Miller, The Ride Down Mt. Morgan

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Wei Wuxian

How mischievous can the time be? At least that's what I can say when I'm back again in the place where it all started. Cloud Recess. The quiet kingdom.

I knew that I couldn't and I wouldn't refuse when Lan Zhan invited me this time. But I have no regrets of coming here. Because I'm sure, hereafter I'll be quite content with wherever I am, if he's with me.

As soon as we enter the garden of Jingshi, we are welcomed by Lan Zhan's rabbits. I pick one of them up.

"You brought them here?"

"Hm"

"You seem to like them quite a lot," I say grinning.

"Hm"

"Lan Zhan, add some more words-"

"Senior Wei!"

I turn to look and find Sizhui on the stone steps of the entrance to the garden with a huge smile on his face. Now I notice how much alike he and his younger self looked. I feel my heart warming up for the kid who once helped me stay sane.

"You're back!" he exclaims. He runs to me and pulls me into a hug almost crushing the rabbit on my hand.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm back. Now move back kid, you're crushing this poor rabbit."

He moves away awkwardly.

"Oh, sorry... Senior Wei, where were you all this time? Even Uncle Wen couldn't find you."

Uncle Wen

"Is Wen Ning here?" I ask avoiding the question.

"He is. Hanguang Jun gave him a cottage down the mountain"

You did? So you've been planning to bring me here all along.

"We missed you," Sizhui says looking shy.

I smile "Well, I'm here now"

"Are you going to leave again?"

"Hmm... I'll have to leave if Lan Zhan gets tired of me." I look at him and grin. "I'll make sure he won't" And I can see his ears blushing.

You know what I mean Lan Zhan...

"Senior Wei-"

Since he doesn't continue I ask "What is it?"

He inhales sharply. "Senior Wei, I wanted to thank you, for saving my relatives back then. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here today."

The old memories burn in my heart. "You don't have to thank me. I did what I believed was right."

"Senior Wei..." he hesitates. Then smiles with tears in his eyes. "You can call me Yuan"

I shake my head. When he looks at me questioningly I say, "Let go of the past Sizhui. The life you have now is much better"

I know the past is hurting you. What you went through is nothing pretty to remember. I know that more than anyone.

"But does that mean I'll stop loving them?"

"Sometimes loving someone means letting them go."

Sizhui nods with tears pouring. Suddenly remembering something, he wipes them.

"Hanguang Jun, Senior Wei, Zewu Jun asked me to check if you returned. I have to inform him, and Jingyi too. I'll leave now." He says, his voice still cracking.

"Don't worry about Zewu Jun. I will meet him personally. I have to meet my brother, don't I Lan Zhan?" I say.

Sizhui's jaw drops, knowing what addressing Zewu Jun as my brother meant. Suddenly, he seemed to have forgotten that he was crying.

"Why are you still here? Didn't you have to go?" I ask, although I probably gave him a heart stroke.

"Yes... I have to." He leaves almost stumbling on the stairs.

"I hope he doesn't knock his head anywhere," I say.

"You already knocked him too hard," Lan Zhan says and enters the house.

"Lan Zhan! Did you just make a joke??"

I turn and look at him, and find him waiting for me. So I step in with him.

"Welcome home," he says.

Home... How much I longed for this...

"Lan Zhan..."I whisper.

He comes closer to me and kisses me.

"Our home," he says kissing me again.

Lan Wangji

"Lan Zhan, does he know?" Wei Ying asks after changing into a clean set of clothes, readying himself to meet my brother. Our brother, as he says.

"Yes," I reply.

He knew before me.

"He accepted?"

"Hm. He believes in accepting one's heart"

He keeps his arms on my shoulders. "You have a good brother, do you know that Lan Zhan?"

"Yes, I know," I say thinking about how his brother mocked him.

He smiles. "Here, put this on me," he says handing me the ribbon I gave him and turns around. I tie it on his hair.

When I'm done he turns around and places a kiss on my lips.

"Lan Zhan, where do you think this will look better? On my hair or my wrists?"

I smirk.

Wei Ying! You don't know whom you're playing with.

"Let's leave," I say avoiding the question.

***

After my parents passed away, my brother was all I had. He was all I cared for. We learned to find comfort in each other's presence. Since then, he has been my father and my mother, my tutor, my friend. He was happy when I was happy. So I know he was speaking nothing but the truth when he said "Childe Wei, it's good to have you back." when we met him in Hanshi

"It's my pleasure Zewu Jun, or would you mind if I say brother Xichen?"

My brother's gaze falls on him and then on me, and I nod. Then he smiles understandingly.

"Of course, Xian"

It might be incomplete, but I feel what a family is when I'm here, together with the man I love, and my only kin. I wish is for this to last long.

"Xian, where have you been all this time?"

"Here and there. Mostly in Burial Mounds." he sighs. "I needed some time, to... figure things out."

"I understand," my brother says with a nod and a smile. "I hope that you would not leave again."

Wei Ying grins. "I've made him wait for too long." He looks at me. "Besides, He wouldn't let me leave" he adds with a smirk.

My brother chuckles. "I hope you're happy Wangji"

"I am, brother"

"Xian," my brother says, "it might not be necessary to say this. But I will, as a person who has seen how much he longed for you. His life has not been easy, and I know that you're the only person capable of comforting him. I've seen how comfortable he is with your company. So be with him when he needs you. That's all I ask."

"Brother Xichen, I swear I'll be with him whenever he needs me, and do everything I can to make him happy."

I can't help but smile at his words and the surprise in my brother's face was evident when he sees me do so.

"And there's one more thing that I have to say." Wei Ying says. "Zewu Jun, I apologize for everything that happened in the past. I know reasoning will not help to make things better. Apologizing is the least I could do."

"Wei Wuxian, when I saw my brother fighting for you even after what happened back in Nightless city, I understood one thing, That there was more in your part than we knew. I know for a fact that Wangji doesn't trust anyone easily. And I trust him. So I believe that you had reasons behind what you did and why you don't say them. So you don't have to apologize. My blessings will always be with both of you."

Truth to be told,  I was not aware of some of his reasons either. But I didn't expect him to be ready to tell me. What he went through wasn't something ordinary. And it still haunts him. I realized that when I saw him whimpering in his sleep, and calming down when I hold him close. But as my brother said, I trust him. Now, then and in the future. I know he will tell me eventually. And I hope that I too will be able to comfort him when he does.

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Till next time...

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