I remember. I remember a lot of things these days. Maybe it's because of the overwhelming feeling that never left me no matter how many people told me it would. Or maybe it was because of the sickening period of times I spent listening to that excuse of a therapist, who looked like she would rather be anywhere else in the world than listening to a teenage girl who seemed to have all the problems the universe can create. But nevertheless, I still remembered.

Today a memory that I didn't know I still had crept into my head. I cried. It wasn't a new thing. It was all I did these days. That and try to end the pain that engulfed in my bleeding heart.

I wish I didn't have this memory no matter how much I wish I did. I know. I was a bundle of contradictions. My whole life was a contradiction so I didn't mind.

It was the best day of my life. The day I knew how empty I was. It was a day I should regret. After everything I made you lose. After everything I put you through. But I didn't. Yes. I was that selfish.

It was the day I met you. The day I was no longer just Chrisè. The day my whole life changed.

For me. For you. For everyone.

                                                                           ⚜

The distance from Owerri to Akabo wasn't that far. My father's village was in Umudereke, a small kindred in Akabo village. The view of our house came into sight as we arrived. It was impossible to miss especially since the land was elevated more than the others. I always felt like we were climbing a hill every time we approached it.

We arrived at my grandma's at around two in the afternoon. Immediately we parked into the compound my cousins jumped down from the Toyota Sienna we rode in, in a hurry to get inside. The house was a beauty that was for sure. It was easily the most beautiful house in our village. My dad made sure of that.

"Zinachidimma? Is that you?" I hear my grandmother's voice as she calls my name. She looked older than the last time I saw her. Her completely gray hair was looking very scanty and scattered. Her face was very thin and her hand shook as she stood. I couldn't believe how old she grew in just two years.

"Yes ma."

Her eyes widened. "O chim! Lekwe umu aka!" I moved to hug her as she widened her hands for me. She still smelt like powder. The flowery powder that made me remember her every time I smelt it, was still clinging to her body like a second skin. "Nne?" She called my aunt. "You didn't even tell me Zinachi is here." Her clean English feels the air but not without her Igbo accent faintly lacing every word.

"Mama let's enter inside first o. And I've told you almost four times now she is coming to stay with me."

"Are you now calling me a liar?" She looked offended.

Kamsi laughs hugging grandma. "Grandma don't mind us eh. We taught we told you. Oya lets go inside and show you what we bought." She holds her as they walk into the house avoiding any drama she was about to cause. I felt ashamed of myself. Kamsi was the same age with me, I even older with more than three months but she was the most emotional intelligent person I knew. Just another thing I was not capable of.

It was about six in the evening when my Auntie announced we would be leaving. De Charlie who drove us there left to start the car. I later knew was their security man and also their driver. He was a distant cousin of Uncle Acho.

"Zinachi should stay." My grandmother said.

"Mummy, she would come next week with the children now."

"Let me be with my granddaughter that I have not seen in a long time. Besides, she is not going to school, o wa shi?"

My aunt looked at me gauging my reaction. I was surprisingly okay with it. The few hours I spent made me remember why I liked the village again. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea. And the look on my grandmother's face made me want to agree with her.

"It's okay Nene. I'll stay." I no longer felt weird calling her that anymore.

"Sure?"

I chuckled. "I'll be okay. And I miss staying the village anyway so it's not bad."

She smiled. "Okay then. I'll send De Charlie to bring some clothes for you tomorrow. In the mean time you would need clothes for the night and-"

"Nene! Don't worry. I checked Amanda's room, she left some of her clothes and there is a spare toothbrush in mine. Don't worry I'll be fine."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She visibly relaxed seeing I really meant it. "Okay guys, tell mama goodnight. Your Papa is already home."

Kamsi hugged me. "I'll miss you o. I wish I can stay with you sef. If not for my exams."

"Eh! Deceive yourself." Chinelo chipped in. "Pretend like it's only Chrisè that is making want to stay. Like you don't want to see that boy."

Kamsi covered her face in embarrassment. "Chinelo I don't know what you are talking about." But even her face showed she was lying.

Deciding to play along, I teased her more. "So this your crush? How handsome is he?"

"Angel like." She said before she could stop herself making I and Chinelo laugh at her slip up. "What I meant is he is an angel so it's just my imagination." She tried to cover up but failed totally.

"Okay. I believe you. So what's the name of our imaginary angel?"

"She doesn't know so she just calls him angel. Yeah. I know she's crazy." Chinelo said. "I told her to take a page from my book and stay away from guys. They are useless."

"You're just saying that because Ik-"

"Okay let's go now. Mummy is in the car." It was obvious she didn't want me to hear what Kamsi was about say.

Kamsi hugged me one last time before she left. "Take care." Chinelo said and followed her sister. It was after they had left the gate that I realized they were really gone. It was so strange how attached I felt to them in just a short time. And somehow I was grateful for the space. It was a wake up call for me once again. That just like this house, that was how my life was. Beautiful on the outside, empty on the inside.

⚜

The next morning came very fast. I don't go to church even when it was a Sunday because I didn't have any clothes appropriate for going to church. I sat in the kitchen playing a game on my iPad when they came back from church.

Opara, the boy that stayed with my grandmother was the first one I noticed. We weren't going to be best friends anytime soon but we talked to each other sometimes. Like when he called me for breakfast or when he asked me if I needed him to turn the water heater on. Or the time he warned me not to leave my windows open because of the mosquitos. I knew it was a one sided conversation but it was a progress to me considering my social life.

"You guys are back?" I asked even when I knew it was obvious.

"Yes. Mama was looking for you."

I nodded standing up from the kitchen stool. "Where is she?"

"Her room."

"Okay."

"What are you going to eat?" He asked me.

"What are you eating?" My question surprised him. Truth be told I didn't know why I asked that but staying with my aunt's family for a week has made me loathe the loneliness that was my usual companion.

"Pounded yam maybe. I'll ask Oluchi, she is the cook."

I nodded again. "Can I help?" This time he didn't hide his surprise. His dark brown eyes widened as he scratched his head that was almost bald.

"M'aka why? Sorry I just don't understand." His Igbo accent, not leaving any stone unturned.

"I just want to learn how to prepare it. No big deal." I open the kitchen door connected to the corridor which led to the rooms. "I'll go and greet her now after I'll join you."

I come back outside few minutes later after talking with my grandma. The truth was that she was a handful. She wasn't hearing very well any more and I had to shout for her to get me. My accent even made everything worse.

I looked outside for any sign of life and moved towards the direction of the mortar sounds I was hearing. It was coming from the old kitchen that was a mud hut. It was once attached to the house that my dad lived in when he was a child before it was demolished.

"Good afternoon Miss Oluchi." I greeted the young woman with a very light skin and a petite face. Sweat beads rolled down her face as she used her wrapper to wipe it with one hand while holding the pestle in the other.

"Ah! Sista Christy! I no no say you dey here o." She called me Christy no matter how many times I told her my real name. Not in the mood for an argument I let it pass. I was more worried with the way she addressed me especially since she was more older than me.

"I want to help."

She laughed. "Oyibo. This one big pass you o." She gestured to yam which was looking pasty already in the mortar. "Don't worry you hear. Just help Opara, I sure say you go fit do something there." The genuine concern on her face made me obey her as I went to look for Opara. He wasn't had to find especially since he was in the kitchen washing some dishes.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" My heart made a loud kick as I talked. I almost ran back in my room when I saw him- crawling back in my cowardice shell- but I didn't.
I needed to do something to take my mind of the crazy voices in my head and if that meant socializing with my grandmother's helps, so be it.

Opara looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes. I wondered what he thought. How he looked at me at that moment. Me-the rich American girl- without a friend to talk to, desperate for anyone's company. Anyone.

"You can help me wipe the plates and place them in the rack." He finally answered me.

I picked the plates and wiped them with the paper towels. We spent the few minutes in the kitchen together and I found out he was really good company. He was three years older than me in his final year in the village secondary school. I also found out he had a good sense of humor. We didn't have anything much in common due to our different lives but it didn't matter.

In two days staying with my grandmother's, I learnt a lot of things. Like how to play the Ayo stone game that virtually everyone knew how to play. Or how to climb a tree that was three times my height. But that wasn't the main thing.

I learnt that, sometimes it takes a very small place, a small gesture to make a really big difference.

                                                                              ⚜
It was Wednesday already. I spent most of my time sleeping and the rest watching how Miss Oluchi made palm oil from an oil palm.

By five in the evening, I decided to take a break. With a book in my hand and a pack of Apple and Eve juice, I walked to the front of the house where we had a large swing and sat down.

The evening lights were not one yet but I could still see the compound in its real beauty. It was a big duplex with seven rooms, two sitting rooms and a very cozy penthouse.With a water fountain in the front and a mini garden where Lou the ostrich and an old tortoise lived. My dad really out did himself.

Even though my attention was on my book, I couldn't ignore looking at my surrounding. The children of the village lined up in the front of our house with kegs and cans bigger than some of them. I heard about the lack of boreholes in the village making my dad's house among the few with one.

It puzzles me at how they worked. With almost twenty people on the line and only seven or less looked like teenagers. The rest of them were so small but with very quick agility. Their dress were worn and dirty. They laughed and quarreled but anyone with eyes could see they were happy. In their poverty.

I was still staring until one of them looked at me. His eyes staring at mine. Their color was different. Grey, blue, I couldn't decide especially from the distance. I quickly removed my face and stuck it back into my book. The racing of my heart took a while to calm and this time it wasn't because of my panic attacks.

After sometime, I got lost in my book again. It was amazing how a few words could help me create my own. But the spell was broken when I heard a scream. I looked at the direction it came from and I didn't like what I saw.

One of the bigger guys was hitting someone with his keg. A boy not more than seven! For a second, memories that I didn't want to remember flashed in my head. It helped me confirm a thought. That no matter where it was- the jungle, my interracial school in USA or my daddy's tiny village- the weak was always the prey. Always.

I didn't even notice I was no more on my the swing holding my book. That I was already halfway across the compound screaming at the boy to let go and get out of there immediately. I was furious. At that moment I really wanted to punch him. He looked at me with anger and said something that I didn't understand but I could care a lot less. Then someone held him. The guy with the strange eyes. He said something to him making him retreat a little. I was still watching the scene unfold when our security man came and escorted him out with his keg.

I could see the hatred in his eyes, that guy, but I didn't care. He was a prick and that little boy didn't deserve his treatment whatever he may had did.

It took some time for me to calm down. I got back to my book and got lost once again. It was why I loved reading. I could forget I was in hell with a good book on my hand.

Someone coughed making me curse inwardly. Whoever was interrupting me from my book better have a very good explanation before I lost it.

Reluctantly I look up and I stopped. If I felt the whole world stopped the first time then I was very unprepared for what happened next.

His eyes. They stared back at me. I was sucked into it, hypnotized by it, paralyzed, whatever adjective anyone could use to describe what I felt but I guess there was none. I forgot where I was, what I was doing and I definitely didn't remember I was very angry a second ago.

He pulled his eyes from mine because I'm sure he felt weird that a girl he just met was staring at him like a crazy person. And I regretted it, because the moment his eyes left mine, it was like I lost all air. My breathing was fast and unsteady. I felt like a girl going on drug withdrawal.

What is wrong with me?

"I'm sorry but did you hear me?" He said.

God his voice was impossible. "No. Sorry what did you say?" I didn't realized he was talking to me until then.

He chuckled. "I'm sorry if I distracted you."

His words hit me as I knew it had a double meaning. The mischievous glint in his eyes was enough for me to know. Trust the pretty boy to be a cocky, narcissistic jerk. But I was thankful. At least I could hate him now.

"What do you what?" Chrisè the asshole was activated. It was a long time that I had been mean to people but that didn't mean I couldn't be when I wanted.

"Someone wanted to talk to you."

It was then I noticed the little person behind him. It was the boy who was pushed down. He clinged to Mr Strange Eyes shirt. "Thank you." His voice was low like he was shy to talk. The way he diverted his eyes from mine. It was then I noticed what I failed to from the distance. He was a girl. The little boy who was pushed down was a girl. It only angered me more.

"No problem. We girls have to stick with each other." I didn't know why I said that but I just wanted to sound nicer than my normal self. "What's your name?" I asked still smiling.

She stared at me like I was speaking Spanish.

"E si gini bu a ha?" Strange Eyes whispered to the girl. It was the it downed to me she didn't understand me. I could very well be speaking Spanish.

"Chiamaka." She replied. She whispered something to him which made him smile. I immediately wanted to know what it was.

He coughed making me look at him. I immediately regretted my decision. His eyes, I now knew what color they were. They weren't grey or blue. They were both. His left eyes were as blue as the sky and his right were grey that looked brown if you looked closely.

"She said I should tell you you are beautiful."

A blush warmed my cheek. His eyes still shone with mischief. He was really enjoying discomfort.

I turned to the little girl smiling. "Dalu Chiamaka." I was surprised I didn't bite my tongue. Thank you was among the few words I knew and that was because I was used to my family saying it after every meal.

She grinned showing her very imperfect teeth. Nodding she waved goodbye at both of us and ran towards her friends.

My heart leaped at her innocence. I wished I could still smile after what they did to me. What he did to me.

My attention was snapped again. I breathed in before I faced him. I didn't understand it. I never had this type of reaction to any guy before. Something about him unnerved me. Maybe it was his strange eyes in a country which would be spotted from a distance. Or it was his voice which sounded like music. Soft, sweet music. I couldn't tell but one look told me something else. He was different. And he didn't belong here.

He cleared his throat alerting me of his presence. Like he needed to do that. I was very alert already.

"What is it? Are you sure you are fine, I mean I've only met you not longer than few minutes but you have coughed longer than you have talked. Should I be worried?"

He laughed. He fucking laughed. Oh God and I didn't want him to stop.

Wake up Chrisè. Stop behaving like a love sick puppy.

"So?" I raised my eyebrows waiting for him to say something. Acting like you didn't care was the best way to come out unaffected. I had a lifetime of practice to know how true it was.

He coughed again. "Sorry. Bad habit."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah whatever." He is a guy. I reminded myself. They are all scums.

I picked my book and decided to go inside. It was getting late already and I didn't want to be a living sacrifice to any insect.

"So I didn't catch the name?" He spoke, scratching his hair nervously. It was low and looked very dark and unnatural, I noticed.

Now isn't time to be checking him out.

"That's because I didn't throw it to you." I hissed. I knew it was harsh of me. And rude. I mean he hasn't done anything to warrant such treatment. Yet. But something about him made me crazy. In every way.

He smirked. "Well I like to know the name of the girl that has been staring at me for the past one hour."

He didn't just say that? Oh my God! The nerve of the asshole. "Well good luck finding her." I walked towards the house increasing my pace.

"It's Zuby." That made me stop.

I turned to look at him. "What's Zuby?" Confusion clouded my face.

"My name is Zuby. I just felt like telling you." He scratched his head looking every other place expect my face.

So he was nervous? I didn't know why that fact made me giddy inside.

"I don't feel like knowing your name. We are literally strangers and we may never meet after today. I don't plan on telling you mine either."

And as fate would have it she had to scream.

"Zinachisom!!! E be ki nu?"

I groaned and cursed in my mind. I planned to ignore her but she shouted again.

"Yes grandma. I'm coming!" I turned but not before seeing the grin on his face.

I was almost at my door when I heard him say one last time.

"Goodnight Stranger. See you soon." I didn't need to turn to know he was smiling at his self .