"Chrisè, where are you?" I hear a voice which seems so far away that at a moment I think it was in my head.

But it wasn't.

I try moving my hands, my mouth to speak. To shout out to someone, anyone to save me.

From this darkness I found myself in. For the emptiness I created. But I couldn't.

My eyes loses it's focus as I notice a figure approach me.

"Jesus! Somebody help! Blood!" The person screams in paranoia. I wanted to tell the person to hush it. That everything is fine. That I didn't try to kill myself.

Only that it's not. It's not fine. I'm not fine. You weren't fine either. But it doesn't matter anymore.

Because sometimes the best lies are the ones we never talk about.

                                                                              ⚜

Immediately we reached our house. I opened the door and came down, putting my headphones on as I entered into my room. Thirty minutes later my dad came banging on my door waking me up from sleep.

"Christina get out of that room immediately!!"

I ignored him pressing the pillow on my head grumbling. I reached for my headphones at the head of the bed putting it on again. That didn't stop him. He began calling my phone which was connected to the headset.

Fed up, I got up and opened the door. It was my sister at the door. "What now?" I asked irritated. "Why can't someone get some sleep in this country?"

She rolled her eyes. "You can leave if you hate here that much. As much as I'll love to see you all annoyed and frustrated, I'll prefer not to see you at all."

"If that's what you came to tell me then just know the feeling is mutual." I attempted to shut my door as she blocked it with her legs.

"Papa is calling you. I hope he is finally fed up with you because I am."

I gave her a fake smile. "Thanks for your concern. I'll keep that in mind." I brushed passed her as I walked to my parents room. Reaching there I knocked twice and entered.

"When you knock you wait for a reply before you enter! Ara cha la gi?" My mother barked in our native tongue which I barely understand but didn't need anyone to tell me I was insulted.

"Augusta that's enough!" I guess I wasn't the only ones stunned at my father's outburst because my mother was immediately dumbstruck. "I've had enough drama for today I don't need yours again."

"So now you are shouting like I'm a small child?" She whined.

"Then will you please stop behaving like one!"

"It's not your fault." She looked at me with contempt and hissed. "I'm going to the sitting room. I can't take this anymore." Then she walked out of the room and slammed the door dramatically.

When he was sure she was gone he turned to me. "So young lady what is your problem?" He asked.

"Nothing." I answered nonchalantly as I stood beside his bed.

"Don't give me that nonsense. I told you that the next time you got into trouble you'll get it hot from me. You didn't even last one day!" He shrieked, then we began a staring contest. I knew my dad would be mad especially since the only time he payed attention to me was when I got myself in trouble.

"So I'll repeat myself for the last time. What is your problem?"

"Nothing I know of." I dared to say.

He was shocked at my reply. "I will not keep an unruly child under my roof. Either you behave yourself or you find some where else to stay."

"As if it would make any difference." I murmured.

"What did you say?"

"I said as if it would make any difference!" I said louder and angrier this time. "As if you care if I'm alive or dead. You just keeping me here for formality sake because I mean nothing to you. You and your wife will do everything in their power to see I am no longer in existence. So guess what? You mean nothing to me and even if you ship me of to the middle of nowhere, I don't give a fuck!" Tears were at the brink of rolling down.

"I will tolerate your ranting but I'll not tolerate you using any swear words at me!" He ordered.

"I'll say whatever I fucking want." I said as I darted towards the door. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I stamped my foot.

"Come back here Christina!"

Ignoring him I ran to my room as I passed my mother who was just coming up the stairs. Entering my room I locked my door, jumped on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

I didn't come out of my room that day. Or the day after. I remembered Auntie Chika knocking on my door for hours and not leaving until I convinced her I was okay. On the second day, Junior came to borrow my game pad and left after I didn't answer. Not once did my mom, sister or my dad come to look for me. I wish I was already used to the hatred and contempt they felt towards me but I still felt hurt. At night when everyone is sleeping, I'll go to the kitchen and take as much food as I wanted and locked myself back in my room.

So there I was, two days later, playing Gods Of Egypt with someone with a username Godperv3697 and enjoying a bite of pretzels with a bottle of coke. Sweet sweet life. Then I heard a knock. I quickly moved my ears to the door.

"What do you mean you haven't seen her since I left?" I heard a voice say in front of my door.

"It's exactly how I said it George."

"Augusta! You don't mean that girl has been in that room since on Monday which was two days ago."

"I tried calling her but she ignored me. What do you want me to do? Break the door down?"

"Yes! That's what every reasonable parent who haven't seen their child in a day would do."

"So now I'm unreasonable?"

I just placed my ear at the door listening to the drama happening outside.

"Biko, I don't have time for this. Christina are you hearing me?" He knocked on my door.

Immediately I tipped toed to my bed pretending to be asleep. Few minutes later I heard a key in the keyhole.

Shit, I forgot he heard a master key and my spare.

"Christina!" He shouted as he entered into my room.

I sleepily stood up as I rubbed my eyes open. Yeah I also have a talent in drama, my whole life was drama after all.

"See there nothing wrong with her." My mother said. I noticed the whole house was in my room.

"Someone having a party in my room that I didn't know of." I said sleepily.

"You have crossed the line this time woman!! I'm sending you to mama. She will deal of with you not me." My dad spoke visibly frustrated as he left my room dialing a number on his phone.

"Finally he has sense." My mother murmured after him. "Your bad character will chase everyone from you and no one would be blamed for that. Ekwu nsu." She eyed me and left.

I turned and saw my brother look at me before he sighed and left leaving the queen bitch at my door.

"I would say I'll miss you but that would be too much of a lie even for me." She said in her annoying tiny voice that ignorant people would call sweet. Luckily for me, I knew better.

"Don't get so excited Mandy, I'm not even gone yet." I smirked in return.

"But you would be. Very soon. And nobody's gonna miss you." She smiled.

"Bitch!" And I shut the door as I heard her reply. "The feeling is mutual."

I stared at my bed for long. I didn't want to let it get to me. No I couldn't. I was used to not staying in a place for long. I never had a home. I was used to everyone hating me but somehow the pain didn't reduce even as I threw and broke everything in sight. Somehow the tears couldn't stop rolling down my eyes.

That night I cried myself to sleep the second time in a week and the fourth  time since I could remember.