I loosely pulled back my damp hair as I had just gotten out of the shower. Luke and I just got in from our 'talk' on the beach and neither of us were feeling tired anymore. A shower and some food seemed ideal to both us us so that's just what he had done.

I walked out of the bathroom and into the room we were sharing, finding Luke sitting in the middle of the bed with a bag of popcorn next to him. He peered over to me as I walked in, giving me an easy smile. I sat down next to him with my legs crossed and watched as a few drops of water from his wet hair fell down his face. He leaned into me, which only made my head turn to the side as he tried to kiss me.

"Things aren't fixed because of what just happened." I muttered, looking down at my hands that rested in my lap.

"What do you-"

"I don't mean that in a bad way," I quickly said. "I mean that we know each other's true intentions now." I told him, looking up to him.

He furrowed his eyebrows, "True intentions? Did you think I've been messing around with you for the past 6 months?" He asked, a bit of hurt in his voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." I shook my head as I backed myself up, trying to stay away from sounding rude while trying to get my point across. "I mean that it was a little...misguiding when you said that you were weary to start anything with me." He took my hand in his as I spoke, kind of like a reminder that he wasn't going to get mad.

"That just slipped out, it doesn't mean anything now." He assured me, staring at me with a soft look in his eyes.

"But were you?" I asked, putting emphasis on the 'were'. His mouth fell open as he looked down, but he shut it quickly as he collected what he was going to say.

"Well yeah, a little. It was hard to think about what would happen if something disastrous happened between us. Like i hated knowing that there could be a chance that you'd never want to speak to me and I'd be a homeless bum living in the streets of New York." He cracked a smile at the end, as I did too. He seemed to make everything so easy.

"I get it." I nodded my head, grabbing his other hand and intertwining our fingers. "But that didn't happen, did it?" I questioned, watching as his thumb ran slowly over mine.

"I've got my whole life to mess things up." He laughed.

I picked my head up, "Why do you keep thinking that i'm just going to run away from you?" I softly asked. If anything Luke was too good for me and I think everyone but him realized that. It seemed he did no wrong while I sat and completely messed things up.

"Because you actually did." He reminded me, squeezing my hands gently.

My eyes widened the slightest bit that I really did run away from him. "Okay, wow, yeah I did. I'm an asshole and I'm sorry and I love you." I rushed my words, realizing that I was a huge idiot and even though Luke was being just as hostile, I should've just stopped things there. "I wasn't listening to you and actually taking in what you were saying and I was being so insensitive. I'm so sorry." I sighed, giving him a guilty look as he simply kept his eyes locked with mine.

He shook his head, "Stop apologizing." He whispered, letting go of my hand and bringing it to the side of my face.

"No, I want to. I'm afraid that if I don't you'll hate me forever." I said, grabbing onto his wrist and pulling his hand away.

"I do hate you, that's why you're my best friend." He gave me a sincere smile, one that made it feel like everything that could ever be wrong had just turned right. Like there was nothing bad anymore.

"You always ruin my sentimental girlfriend to boyfriend talks." I giggled as Luke brought our hands up to his lips, kissing the back of my hand to stop himself from laughing as well. I sighed, "But thank you for the reminder that nothing has changed."

"Except for the fact that you feel deeply and hopelessly in love with me." He replied, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I can take it back," I jokingly said. He rolled his eyes and leaned towards me, placing a simple kiss on the tip of my nose.

"No you can't." He told him, sticking his tongue out at me which I instantly returned. We sat in a short silence as we both stared at our hands that were still tangled with each others.

"I need you to be honest with me here, okay?" I spoke up after a while, my voice as soft ans easy as I could make it.

"Okay?" He repeated, looking up to meet my gaze.

"Do you want a break? Like, just some time to let things be normal for a while." I shrugged my shoulders, unsure of the suggestion.

"Autumn, this is normal. Me and you together is normal now." He told me, his shaky voice telling me that I threw him off guard. "Unless you want to take a break, I guess. Then that's okay. Do you want to?" He asked.

I easily shook my head, "No."

"Good, because it would've been awkward if you said yes and I said no." He chuckled. "Nothing has changed." He reminded me again, giving me an assuring smile. He looked down, tapping his fingers on my hand. "I want to show you something," he said. He got up from his spot before I could say anything and dug through the drawer where he had unpacked his suitcase.

I watched as he rummaged around, pulling out what looked like a thin book for a second. He walked back to the bed, tossing it in front of me as he crawled up behind me and got me to sit between his legs. I picked up the sticker covered book and leaned back into his chest. I soon realized that this was the same empty journal he had given to me a few months back, the same journal where I ripped out the page where I had wrote that I loved him.

I tilted my head back to look up at him, trying to understand what he wanted me to do with it. He simply glanced at me then to the wired book in my hands. I suggested he wanted me to read through it, but even as close as we are now it didn't exactly feel right to go through it.

"Second to last page." He told me, referring to what he wanted me to look at.

I flipped to the second to last page which was a long list of numbers which I soon figured were dates. I recognized the page as the one I had seen that laid on his bed in the open a little while ago. I didn't think they really meant anything, but for Luke to be showing me these there had to be some meaning behind it.

"What are these?" I asked, flipping the page over to reveal that there was more on the back. The dates had started late May of last year and then would jump over a few weeks until August where they became more repetitive. From about November to now they were there nearly everyday.

"Well, I accidentally skipped a few days because I simply forgot I was documenting it," He began, pushing my lose ponytail to one side of my shoulder and resting his chin on my other shoulder. "But, it's all of the days I wanted to tell you I loved you, but I didn't." He answered, his voice quiet and so honest that it had nearly sent shivers down my spine.

"These started in May." I almost didn't want him to even hear that, I was basically just making a note of it. I was actually astonished that he managed to keep track of this.

"I know, I thought I was going crazy." A short laugh from from his lips, tickling against my neck. "I just kept asking myself, 'How could I possibly be in love with Autumn?', but now all I can think is 'How could I not be in love with Autumn?'" He said, his arms wrapping around my torso. "I started it because I wanted to track how many times I thought this and then it just went from there. I guess I kind of figured there was no turning back before we ever actually started." He sighed, but a content one.

"I really don't know what to say." My voice broke just the slightest bit at the end of my sentence, I was overwhelmed to say the least. I kept looking over the dates, the most recent one being yesterday.

"You don't have to say anything." He replied. "I know it's probably weird and cheesy and dumb, but I wanted to show you because," He stopped himself, picking his chin off my shoulder for a quick second before going back. "Well, I don't really know why." He mumbled.

"Thank you," I said, receiving a light kiss on my neck from him in response.

I shut his book, setting it aside at the edge of the bed. I went right back to laying against his chest and let my legs curl up to me. All Luke could do was wrap his arms tighter around me as if I'd get up and run away from him again.

"I'm tired." He muttered into my ear. I took in a sharp breath, resting my hands over his as they locked over my stomach.

"Sleep," I said, looking over my shoulder to him.

"Only if you sleep with me." He sighed. "Not like that, unless you want it like that then I can do that." He giggled, pulling me down with him as he fell onto the mattress.

His arms untangled from around me as we got under the covers. The sun was just starting to come up as I reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. I settled back onto the pillows, turning on my side to face Luke.

He stretched out his arm to pull me into him which I became accustomed to. Our legs and hands stayed tangled while my head was buried in his chest. Even though he still had the weird habit of waking up with his head on my stomach, I wouldn't give it up for anything.

"Goodnight," He whispered, cuddling closer up to my side.

"I see the sun." I whispered back, my eyes starting to feel heavy.

"Goodnight," He repeated, his smile evident through his tone. "I love you." He left another short kiss on my forehead, making feel like he was literally showering me with his love. It was an irreplaceable feeling, no one else could possibly make me feel the way I currently do.

"I love you more."

-

A/N:

sappy luke has returned ((sorry))

he's so in love with autumn oh my god he's so cute while autumn is like wow my own luke hemmings how amazing this is the life hold on tight

they're both so in love with each other it's gross ok goals

this is also coming to a close, there will be probably 50 chapters overall plus an epilogue and if i decided to do a prequel/sequel/something of that sort i will tell you ok

i love you fam have a good day/night enjoy whatever this was