"So how was your Christmas?" Luke asked, his quiet voice being muffled by the speaker on my phone.

"Same old, same old." I sighed. I rolled over in my bed to face my wall, curling up into my sheets. "My parents took Effy down to my grandparent's house literally an hour ago." I double checked the time, making sure I was right.

Every year Effy is taken to my grandparent's house after we have a Christmas dinner, it used to be me accompanying with her, but this year I actually had a say in whether I could go or not and with a guilty heart, I turned it down. I didn't want to be stuck there until after New Years especially with Luke's surprise party that he decided was at my house.

"It was boring without me, right?" He laughed. A small smile pulled at my lips as I laid on my back, now staring at my ceiling. It was almost 11pm and I had felt exhausted from the day's activities of opening presents and cooking and cleaning and practically running around the house all day.

"Of course it was." I said, laughing along with him. Usually we had seen each other for at least 10 minutes on Christmas but we both seemed to be completely occupied with our lives for once and weren't able to get together today.

"Mhmn." He mumbled into the phone, his voice obviously tired.

"Do you want me to let you go?" I questioned in concerned. I heard a few blankets ruffle around and I furrowed my eyebrows as I waited for his response.

"Can you meet me outside your house in 5 minutes?" He suddenly asked. I kicked my blankets off of me and sat up, rubbing the side of my arm from the cold air in my room.

"I don't see why not." I told him. "But my parents are probably going to be home soon." I became weary of his request, not knowing what he was up to. It couldn't have been very much since he was walking instead of driving.

"Where's April and Travis?" The sound of a door shutting behind him was easily heard, then the word 'shit' fell from his mouth. Luke's parents weren't too worried about him.

Obviously they cared for him and everything, but they knew he wasn't the one to get in a serious amount of trouble and most of the time he was coming over to my house anyways so he didn't exactly have to sneak out.

"Travis is with his girlfriend and I have no clue where April is. They all ditched after dinner." I explained. I held my phone to my ear with my shoulder as I was starting to change into pants rather than shorts so I wouldn't have to be so cold.

"And your mom didn't even question why they just left?" You could tell he was outside from the way he was breathing into the phone, it sounded like he just ran across the street.

"Nope." I simply answered, flipping the switch on so I could see down the stairs. I hopped down them, listening to him ramble on about how his parents were wanting to leave early to get to Times Square for the ball drop. I walked into my kitchen as he went on, now tuning him out from making myself distracted.

"Autumn?" Luke practically yelled into the phone.

"What?" I innocently replied.

"Can you let me in?" I then heard a knock on my front door, he had probably been knocking for a while and I had just drowned in my own thoughts.

I hung up on him, scurrying towards my front door. I struggled to open my door from my sudden excitement that came over me and I finally got it unlocked and swung it open with ease.

Luke was standing right at the top of the steps, his back facing towards me. I knocked on my door that was behind me to snap his gaze away from his phone. He looked up once then over his shoulder, smirking at me or rather my Christmas pajama pants.

"You look nice." He laughed. I peered down, my cheeks warming up from my slight embarrassment. "But don't worry you look cute." He quickly added, taking his hands out from his pockets.

"Aw thanks." I sarcastically said, giving him a middle finger.

"Cheeky." He cooed as he turned back to face the road. I hadn't known what he was doing, so I let my confusion be. I sighed quietly and took a step outside my house, the crisp air instantly hitting my shoulders that weren't covered by my tank top.

"I forget you have an accent sometimes." I crossed my arms of my chest as I went up to his side, nudging him once. He glanced down at me, a gentle smile appearing and a soft look in his eye was readable.

"Are you alright?" I asked, feeling as if something was off with him.

"I am." He simply said. He looked down to me again as where I never took my eyes away from him. "Are you alright?" His voice was delicate compared to his normal loud and outgoing self, it was quite a contrast.

"Yeah." I assured him, shifting myself closer towards him.

We sat in silence as the sound of a few passing cars were heard. My head was now rested on the side of his arm, both of our arms hugging ourselves from the cold. It didn't make much sense that we were outside in the freezing air, but it was bearable at each other's sides.

He let his arms fall and he brought them to my goose bump covered shoulders and faced me to him. I didn't know what to do or say since I actually didn't know what he's been doing for the past 10 minutes of just standing out here, so things began to feel a little awkward for me as I waited for him to say something.

I guess he could feel it too and he looked up above us, his lip ring catching my eye from the small glare it gave off from the full moon out tonight. I did the same as him, narrowing my eyes at the object that dangled above us, instantly recognizing that he had more than likely put us under a mistletoe on purpose.

We both slowly looked back towards each other, our hazed eyes meeting each others. I instantly started laughing and he joined in, trying to muffle the sound with my hand. He wrapped his fingers around my wrist and pulled my hand down, leaning slowly into me.

I met him in the middle, pressing my lips to his with the same amount of softness. If there was any less pressure, our lips probably wouldn't have even touched. We pulled back at the same time, this time a childish laugh ringing in my ears.

"What's so funny?" I asked, tugging my bottom lip between me teeth to force my smile from growing wider from the cheesy moment. My arms were slung around his torso and his draped over my shoulders as his fingers brushed over my shoulder blades that were exposed from my loose tank top.

"Do you remember when we were under this mistletoe when we were 9 and-"

"No, not this story." I groaned as I cut him off. I tried to wiggle out from under his grip and escape the topic, but he locked his arms tighter around me to make it near impossible it get away.

"Let me tell it! It's so funny." He gave me a crooked smile, the same one he pulls when he wants something from me, or in this case when he's trying to convince me of something.

"It's so embarrassing." I whined. I leaned my head on his chest as the vibrations from his laugh tickled my forehead.

"Maybe you shouldn't have ran away when I kissed your cheek then, yeah?" He pulled back from me and gently pushed my back in the direction of my front door.

"I fell down the porch steps and broke my wrist." I said over my shoulder, twisting the handle and opening it.

"You had the coolest bright green cast in the whole school."

"Yeah, you were the first one to sign it." I giggled as I flipped the light on to my living room. I heard Luke shut the door and I fell onto my couch as my tiredness was beginning to wash over me again.

"And then everyone asked what happened." He walked into the room, his thin jacket dangling from his finger.

"I told everyone I fell off my bike." I grabbed the pillow beside me and hugged it to my chest and crossed my legs on the couch so I could directly face him as he sat down.

"And then I think I got mad at you for telling that story because I wanted it to be cooler."

"You mean you wanted me to tell the whole third grade you had actually kissed my cheek." I mumble into the pillow, now resting my chin on it as I snicker soon followed.

"I would've been so cool!" He threw his hands up as if he was genuinely worked up about it then turned his back to me. I was about to ask what he was doing, but he fell backwards into my lap before anything came out.

I sighed softly, not understanding how Luke and I had even gotten to this spot with each other. One day we were the same Luke and Autumn that everyone knew as best friends and then the next day 'behind closed doors' became a reality and now I'm realizing that there's nothing in the way of truly making something work out between us.

"Hey Luke?" I questioned as I stared towards the blank wall in front of me. I shook off the gaze and looked down to Luke who had tilted his head back the slightest bit to look up at me. He blinked a few times, letting me know that I had his attention.

"Remember when you first kissed me?" I shyly asked, even though I knew he remembered the day as clear as I could. I could see him swallow slowly, probably unsure of what I was trying to get at. "Why did you do that?" I watched him intently as his facial expression changed from fearful to confused to relaxed.

"Isn't it obvious why I did?" His words came out quiet, much more quiet than our conversation before. I looked away from him and to the distant sound of the TV playing. I felt Luke's hands tangle their way around the back of my neck, causing me to get my attention back to him. "Turn it off." He insisted.

I slid the remote off of the table beside me, seeing that Luke wanted my undying focus, and turned it off and tossed the remote to the chair a few feet from us. His arms fell from around me, but one hand had made it way to the side of my face. His fingertips were cold against my skin, leaving me with goosebumps.

"I like you, Autumn. If you couldn't tell." He pulled at the black ring around his lip as he smiled. "I liked you months before then and I still do. Maybe even more." He confessed.

"You liked me before? I thought you did that because you needed a way to shut me up." I laughed.

"That too." He agreed. He sat up from out of my lap and turned to face me. "But I remember when Ellis was leaving for Manhattan two months before us and how you were clinging onto him and I just kept thinking to myself, 'Why am I so bothered by this?'" He gripped onto his knees as he explained his thoughts.

"I was not clinging onto him." I added, not wanting to actually confess that what he thought was actually somewhat touching in a 'I didn't know my best friend was into me' type of way.

"Moving on." He shot me a short glare which made me meekly laugh. "I didn't know how you felt at all. So then when I did kiss you and you ran off I was just kept saying 'shit'. Just over and over again and I didn't know what to do and I was really scared that I messed everything up and that you'd hate me forever." He rubbed the back of his neck, awkwardly letting the corner of his mouth pulling down and letting his teeth show,

"Did you really think I would hate you?" I asked. Never in a hundred years could I have ever thought to actually hate Luke. Even just the thought of it made me cringe.

"Well, yeah, at the time I did. Then you let me in after me pacing around the house trying to keep my cool and not break your door down and apologize a thousand times, so I ran down to the drugstore on the corner and bought the same black notebook that I have for you." His fingers ran over my own knees and his eyes were in a locked stare at the small circles he was making. It was obvious he had no clue where he was going with his words.

I thought about the notebook and how Luke had opened himself more to me, even though I didn't really think that was anymore possible. I knew he had secrets, we all did. And then I was brought to the folded note in my bed frame that had informed me that I was in love with this idiot in front of me, which I still don't know how it came from my mind.

I do love Luke, as my own person though. I'm just not used to the fact that I actually have feelings for him. Most of the times when I think of him I'm not picturing his hands in mine or how his lips felt on my hips, but rather things that make me shake my head and wonder how in the world do I even associate myself with him. But that's what I think makes this just a bit more special.

"And then when I found out Ellis was moving in with Cianna I was so confused and I was-I don't even know. I thought that in a matter of days you would forgive him and then I'd be stuck watching you with another guy and I would be missing out and probably mope around all day." His voice rang through my ears, my cheeks flushing from his long confession that he was rambling on about that this time I didn't mind listening to.

"You're so dumb." I hit him with the pillow beside me, nearly knocking him off the couch.

"I'm not dumb." He defended himself as he readjusted himself back on my couch. "But I am jealous." He pointed out, as if I hadn't already caught onto this. "And you know that and I don't like to share you even when we were little kids." His hands squeezed at my thighs once.

"That's very true." I nodded my head to the side then back to him.

"Anyways, I'm now here with a lovely lady and I don't know where this is going to go, but I'm fine with it." He sighed, a happier sigh though. One that sounded relieved. I didn't say anything back since I was actually working up the courage to actually see where he wanted to go with this, so we sat in silence for a few moments as I wished that Luke hadn't made me turn that TV off.

"Where do you want this to go?" I asked quietly, instantly looking down at my chipped nails.

"Somewhere good." He spoke. A smile grew on my face, but it was hidden my refusal to look back up at him from feeling an embarrassed knot in my stomach. "And I know you still want to take this slow, but I kind of already ruined that with the antic I pulled with Ellis over." He added.

"I don't mean slow as in a physical aspect, but more as a mental thing." I clarified, slightly rushing my words together. I picked my head back up to meet his fixed gaze on me. "Like if we do end up together I hope it's further down the road." I shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing what to say.

"So does that mean you're willing to have sex with me on this couch right now?" He abruptly asked. I scowled at him and roughly pushed his shoulders.

"Luke!" I shouted. His ability to change the mood of our conversations was ridiculous.

"It's a serious question!" He shot back. It was clear that he didn't exactly want his words to fall out of his mouth the way they did, but it also hadn't bothered me.

"No it's not." I simply said. I crossed my arms over my chest, straightening up my back and jokingly put my nose in the air. "And no, I wouldn't." I huffed.

"Harsh." He shoved me back yet not as hard.

"I wouldn't want my first time to be on a couch in my parent's house when they could walk in the door any minute." I twirled a loose piece of hair around my finger and soon caught on to Luke's confused expression.

"Your first time?" He repeated. Now it was clear to me that Luke didn't know that I was a virgin and I played along with it.

"Yeah?" I replied with the same tone he had.

"Wait." He quickly said, shaking his head a few times. "You're a virgin?" His question made me shift in my seat, suddenly feeling insecure about all of it.

"You say it like it's a bad thing." I muttered

"No, no, no. I just didn't know." He sheepishly said as he crawled back towards me again. "I just thought that after two years with Ellis-"

"Nope." I answered, quickly cut him off. He laid on his stomach beside me with an elbow propping up his head and his other slung across my waist. I moved more on my side so we could both be in a comfortable position.

"That makes me feel better about myself." He breathed out, it hitting against my shoulders as I took in a deep breath.

"Dick." I scoffed.

"I mean, I've only had sex once." He admitted, raising his eyebrows once as he stared at the black TV screen. His cheeks were oink just as mine were earlier, seeing that he wasn't too happy about his confession.

"Don't be ashamed by that, that's completely okay." I assured him, running a hand through his hair. I heard my front door rattle and Luke and I both sat up from our previous position on the couch and twisted our clothes around from all of the pushing and shoving and pillow hitting we did.

My parents stepped inside the house, my mom giving us a small wave then my dad following in.

"Oh, hi Luke." My dad greeted as he trudged himself off to bed. I laughed silently to myself as that was the way my dad had always said hello to him. Luke used to think it was extremely intimidating but now it's just funny.

My mom walked over to us, rubbing her temples with her hands as she was obviously tired. She curiously looked between us and soon Luke and I joined in, now having multiple pairs of eyes on each other.

"Why are you at my house?" My mom suddenly asked in a hushed voice. Luke began laughing as my jaw had dropped slightly.

"Mom!" I yelled, joining in on both of their fits.

"It's midnight after Christmas, I don't know!" She put her hands up in defense and started walking to the kitchen. My mom and Luke joked with each other as if they were friends themselves and I didn't whether to find it cute or weird.

"He just came over to hangout." I told her from my spot on the couch.

"What have you guys been doing?" She questioned as she walked back in with a glass of water in her hands. She popped a hip and put a hand over it as she waited for our answer. We both shrugged our shoulders and looked to each other then back at her.

"Nothing." We said simultaneously. She nodded her head and trailed back to her bedroom. Before opening her door, she stopped and caught both of our attentions.

"The guest room is cleaned out now, you can sleep there instead of the couch." She informed us. I watched Luke nod his head then give my mom a thumbs up.

"Got it, thank you." Luke leaned back into my couch and threw his arms around the back of it and propped his feet on the table, truly making sure he was at home.

"Goodnight you dorks." My mom called out as she shut her door, leaving us both back to where we were.

"Goodnight!" We answered, giggling like children after for no apparent reason. His arms curled around me, pulling me in tightly to his chest. We laid still for a few minutes, taking in the surrounding silence and letting our rising chests become synchronized.

My knees were pulled tightly to my chest and I leaned my side on Luke as he began to slowly but surely fall asleep. I curled up tighter to him, his arm around me doing the same. My eyes grew tired, the clock becoming blurrier and my body falling numb. My hands fell from around myself to around Luke, well more under the hem of his shirt from the lack of warmth in my fingers.

"Why didn't I get you earlier?" Luke spoke softly, his fingers running across the top of my hair and down my back to where it ended. I kept my mouth closed as an understanding that Luke had actually thought I was asleep and maybe I wasn't supposed to hear that.

He sighed once more, wiggling underneath me to where I now laid on his chest instead of his torso. My eyes stayed shut and I couldn't help but think how my unconscious mind was more certain than my conscious one.

-

A/N:

THAT WAS REALLY LONG I APOLOGIZE and sorry for any errors it's 3am whoops

but lautumn that is all

thx for reading and voting and commenting it makes me happy :~)