❝All the glamour and the trauma

and the fucking melodrama❞

❦

When I step into my room, making sure I lock the door, I remember that I told Harper I'm going out for a cigarette and then I never came back.

"Shoot," I mutter to myself, taking my phone out of my pocket and see I already have five missed calls from her and dozens of texts. I immediately call her back.

"Kadie! Where are you?" she asks hurriedly, picking up on the second ring.

"I'm at home. Sorry I disappeared on you, I didn't want to make you worried, but I'm all good."

"You make me want to kill you sometimes, I swear. How did you get home? Did you walk? In the dark?" She never lets me walk around alone in the dark. I mean, she has a point, but I have a knife and good self-defence skills so I'm not that worried for myself.

"No, Harp. Don't worry, I'm fine. Heading to bed now," I lie.

"It's a little early for you," she comments.

"I know. I'm tired," I say. And that's not a lie.

"Okay, I won't keep you up, then. Goodnight," she wishes me.

"Goodnight," I tell her, feeling bad for lying to her. But it's for a good cause, I tell myself. If she knew where I was going, she'd be more worried and she shouldn't be. The less she knows, the better.

I thought I was already tasting victory and having a reason to celebrate when I haven't seen Fai at the bar for five days straight. But my luck is short-lived.

One of his guys comes to me and says, "Walk with me," without any greeting or any explanation.

I slightly turn on the stool so I have a better view of him, placing my arm around the back of the chair. "Oh, he sent his minions today? Tell your king I'm good."

"Kadience, walk," he tells me.

"Sweetie pie, I don't take orders. You can go walk if you want, I'm good where I am."

"Fai is outside. He wants to speak to you."

"And I'm inside. If he wants to speak to me, you can tell him where he can find me. Although I'd prefer if he didn't."

The man sighs, rolling his eyes so hard it must probably hurt. "Now I see why he's on the verge of losing his fucking mind," he mutters. "I'm not gonna deal with your annoying ass," he says, walking straight out of the club.

I shake my head. "Weak," I mutter to myself.

Harper is in front of me in seconds. "Another one?" she asks me, not even slightly happy about me talking with one of them as she refers to them now.

"Nope, I actually don't know what he wanted, but he for sure didn't get it."

"You should've left them alone, Kadie, now they're all after you."

"I think they want to come across as scary, but they're just being annoying." I shrug.

Harper looks behind my shoulder and her eyes widen slightly. A second later, Fai appears by my side, putting his hand on my shoulder so I face him. "Get the fuck outside. Now," he growls harshly, his serious face getting close to mine.

I look around myself. "Sorry, what? Who are you trying to speak to like that?"

Fai's face gets even closer to mine. "Kadience, get the fuck outside. I'm not playing games with you tonight, this is serious."

John, the bodyguard, is immediately by my side. "Troubles, Kadie?" he asks while eyeing Fai.

"No, J, it's all good. He's harmless." I put my hand on Fai's cheek. "As if hearing a puppy barking."

Fai leans his head back, away from my touch. "What the fuck."

I get down from the stool, intentionally slowly. "It's alright, J, I'm just going to see what this drama queen wants tonight and I'll be back. Won't take longer than five minutes, right, Fai?"

"Oh, yeah. I can probably kill you in three, depends on how generous I'm feeling."

John immediately takes a threatening step closer to Fai and I have to chuckle. "I would like to see you try," I tell him, still laughing. "Walk now, I have better things to do than to ruin my evening talking to you."

Fai is walking behind me. I don't give him the chance to lead today simply because I don't want him to feel he has an upper hand. He doesn't.

The second I step outside, a group of his friends surrounds me, making me stop and lift my eyebrows. "Okay, so what crime did I commit?" I ask, completely uninterested.

"Who the fuck did you tell what you heard?" Fai asks me, his face close to mine. I can smell the cigarettes in his breath and it makes me crave one.

I grin, crossing my arms. "Oh, boy. You've been busted already? You aren't as good as you portray yourselves then."

"Kadie, I swear to fucking God, don't make me lose my mind. Who. The. Fuck. Did. You. Open. Your. Mouth. To.?"

"I mean, I don't know ..." I look at my nails. "Maybe it would help me to remember if you asked me just a little bit nicer ..."

Fai steps back from me, putting both of his hands in his hair, turning around so his back is towards me. "Someone help me before I kill her, I'm not kidding," he says with clear exasperation in his voice. He's on the verge of losing it.

I bite down on my lip, smiling. It's so fun playing with his head. He gets frustrated so easily. "Listen here, bitch. If we get in trouble because of you, you're going down, too. You were seen and if any of them recognise your face, you're going down."

"We don't know if they saw her, alright? Fuck! I don't need this on top of everything now," Fai says.

"Yeah? Well, maybe you should've thought about this before and be more careful!" another one speaks up.

Fai is immediately in his face, his hands at his neck, pushing him hard against the wall. "Maybe consider the words and the tone coming out of your mouth before you open it again next time."

"Okay, guys, can I go back inside now? This is clearly not concerning me and I'm getting bored with your childish outbursts. You have the wrong person, I didn't tell anyone shit. Maybe go interview someone else you pissed off, I'm sure I'm not the only one."

One of the guys grabs my arm when I try to get inside and I react quickly, trying to hit him in the leg, but he's faster and he decks the move. "Stop trying to play dirty, I'm not afraid to hit a woman."

My nose scrunches in disgust and I look at him up and down. "Yeah, you do look like a fucking scumbag like that."

His nostrils flare and he lifts his hand in preparation to hit me, but the hit never comes because Fai grabs his hand and pulls him away from him. "We're not doing this," he tells him. "You know the rule and you know what happens if you break it."

I wrap my hands around myself, rolling my bottom lip into my mouth. A sudden breeze sends chills down my body and I start shaking. I lower my eyes to the ground and take deep, long breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Slow and steady like I taught myself.

Fai then steps to me, looking calmer than before. "Look, you may or may not be in trouble. And you're in even bigger trouble if you talked shit around so it'd be better to tell what you know."

"Hold up." I hold my hands out. "Who exactly am I in trouble with? And why?" I feel like they're bullshitting and they're trying to scare me just so I talk. Too sad it won't work, but I give them a point for trying.

Fai looks as if he doesn't exactly know how to answer my question. "Can't tell you who, I can only tell you you're gonna have problems."

I chuckle. "Okay. Thanks for the bedtime story."

"No, I'm fucking serious, Kadience. Stop taking this as a joke because it's really not. You have no idea the shit you could get involved with."

"Aww, don't worry about me, babe. I didn't say anything to anyone yet so I think I'm good. But thanks for worrying about me." I pat his chest, directly over his heart. "Looks like you have something in here after all. Who would've thought?"

He grabs my hand and removes it, his jaw ticking. "Don't fucking say I didn't warn you."

I laugh. "Yeah, okay, kids. Have fun with all the dangerous stuff you're doing." I salute them. What he fails to understand is that I crave danger. I've been broken through and through and I need something to make me feel alive. The lines between good and bad are blurred for me and I've chased danger all my life because I can't help myself. 

I've dealt with people like Fai before, maybe even worse. Kissed them. Fucked them. Yelled at them. Got yelled at by them - you name it. I like to deliberately put myself in dangerous situations sometimes to feel something. To fight for my life and either come out pumped with adrenaline and happy that I get to live longer or I end up dead. But I need this adrenaline in my life in order to feel alive. Nothing else works for me.

I go back into the bar and Harper is on me the second she sees me. "What was that? What do you have with them, Kadie?"

"Nothing, Harp. Literally nothing. They're just being annoying, that's really it. They thought I'm an easy target but, hopefully, they're seeing they were wrong."

Harper blows the breath out of her mouth, standing in a motherly stance – her hands on her hips, her eyes right on mine. "He kissed you and you're still talking to them. I don't understand. Do you have a thing with him? You'd tell me if you did, right? I know I must come across as non-understanding and I look like I'm forbidding you, but I don't want you to hide things from me. If you have something going on with them, no matter what it is, I'd like to know, even if I don't approve."

"Harp, no. I don't have anything going on with anyone. You would know, okay? I would tell you, but they're just trying to mess with my head and I don't let them which frustrates the shit out of them. Let's not talk about them because they're not important." I don't tell Harper what I saw the other night simply because she'd lose her shit. I hope they're going to get the hell away from this bar and find a new place to hang out.

Harper nods. She knows I tell her more than any other person. She knows she's the only one that I trust and she also knows that some things, I have to keep to myself, but I always tell her what she needs to know. I don't want to worry her, but she loves to do it. She loves beating herself up for things that she can't change – me, for instance.

"Please, Harp, for my sake, try to stay out of trouble. Don't put me in the grave because of worrying at such a young age. I want to experience my life just a little bit more."

I laugh whole-heartedly. "Don't worry, I'm going to be right by your side when you marry some boring doctor."

Harper shows me tongue.

The universe doesn't want me to live my life in peace.

When I come to the bar the next night, Fai is leaning against the door outside. I let out a frustrated sigh, filled with anger and go straight to him. "I thought we had a deal."

Fai is carelessly leaning against the wall, his foot placed on the wall, his arms crossed. He's dressed in all black – black leather jacket, black jeans and black boots. His usual attire. "The deal's off. People are already talking."

"But not because of me. I did my part."

He leans in close to my face. "There's no deal, bee. Accept it."

I huff. "So? When are you going to jail?" I provoke.

Fai chuckles dryly. "I'm not going anywhere, but you're going to have to come with me."

My eyebrow raises in suspicion. "I'm going to have to come with you? I don't think so." I shake my head, trying to move past him, but he grips my arm.

"Go inside and you're dead."

My whole body stills and I daringly look him in the eyes – slowly. "You're not going to kill me, stop bullshitting."

"No, it won't be me. You were recognised, Kadie. There are people in there who want to see you."

"I was recognised where? By whom?" I want to think this is some kind of game where he wants to scare the crap out of me, but something in his voice and the way he's carrying himself makes me believe he's actually telling the truth, although it doesn't really make much sense.

Fai eyes the person that walks out of the bar, pushing me to the side so I'm hidden. I rip my arm out of his hold. "What the fuck is going on with you?" I ask him in anger.

"Listen, bee, I can't tell you much because you have a big mouth, but I'm advising you not to go into the bar because it's a high possibility you'll get in trouble."

"By who?" I ask, having a hard time believing whatever he's trying to say.

Fai grunts. "Can't tell you. You were seen with me and that is not good. Maybe I should just throw you to the wolves and let them eat you alive so I don't ever have to deal with you again, though," he thinks out loud.

"Then why don't you?"

"Good question," he mutters. "I'm kind of responsible for this and I might be an asshole but I'm not that big of an asshole to at least not warn you about it."

"Okay, my hero. So if those dangerous people who saw me with you are in there, that means they're in the same space as Harper. And now, my friend, this is going to be a problem."

"Your friend's fine. The boys are in there having an eye on her."

"Are you fucking serious?" I ask. "I swear to God if you do anything to her, I won't hesitate to murder your ass. I'm not kidding, Fai."

The door opens again and Fai tenses up, looking at whoever walks out. He relaxes when it's not the person he was afraid to see. "Listen, bee, I'd be glad to stay here and listen to your cute threats, but we have to get going."

"Get going where?"

"Away from here."

"That's not an answer," I say, growing annoyed with this whole situation.

"It's the only one you're getting. Get the fuck on the motorcycle now," he grunts, pushing me so I have no choice but to walk.

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

Fai swiftly turns me around so I'm looking at him again. "Listen here and listen carefully. I could let you walk the fuck in that club and let you and your cute little friend in there get completely fucked over – literally. Or I'll be kind enough to warn you and drive you away from here so no one sees you."

"No one's fucking anyone over, there are bodyguards in there."

Fai knocks on my head. "Bee, if you think they'd be stupid enough to do anything tonight ..." He shakes his head. "They're only here to get a good look at how you look. They'll attack some other time."

"You know what, I don't believe a word you're saying. I'm not dumb enough to go anywhere with you. Especially since you believe it was me spreading the word around about whatever the hell happened that other night."

Fai looks somewhere behind me. "Fuck." He forcingly puts a helmet on my head. "No words. Get on the motorcycle."

"Wha–"

"No fucking words, Kadience," he grits out, straddling the motorcycle. I turn around to see a man looking directly at us and when he sees me looking at him, he starts walking towards when Fai and I are standing. I raise an eyebrow under the helmet, watching him with interest. I don't have a clear view of his face, but I see him pulling out a gun.

I sigh to myself. "This is some fucking bullshit," I mutter but climb on the motorcycle behind Fai because maybe he might've been right and someone came here to kill me tonight.

How awesome.

*

Posting the next chapter when this one gets 100 votes :)