❝ Your silence is my favourite sound ❞

❦

I knew Fai would come to me afterwards. I just had a feeling because I know he can't stay away. Not after what happened.

It takes him about ten minutes, but he sits down beside me, placing his tattooed arms on the bar counter. He sits there and just stares at me.

I finally lift my head to look at him. "What do you want now?" I ask him. It seems like everyone is going to interrupt me while I'm reading so I might as well just put the book back into my backpack.

"There's a party we're going to. You can come with."

I stare at him, holding back so I don't burst out laughing. "I can come with you? Really?" I ask him. "Geez Louise, with what did I deserve such an honour?"

Fai shrugs. "I always see you reading books and shit, I want to see if you know how to party. Besides, I heard you promised me a kiss."

I lean closer to him, putting a hand on his cheek in a soft manner. The gesture probably looks cute to other people, but I use it mockingly. "Fai, darling, I'm not that easy. You might be used to getting things easily from the girls you choose to hang out with, I don't know, but you're not getting that from me. Yeah?"

"Who said anything about easy?" Fai asks with a smirk.

I shake my head in disbelief. He's acting like that one time and then he doesn't want to see me another time. Like, decide what the hell you want, dude. "What happened to staying away from each other, Fai? Huh?"

He shrugs. "People are already talking. Might as well just give them something to talk about in return."

I see Harper is polishing a glass and giving me and staring at us. She's studying us both intently so I'll get a full report from her later. Fai notices I'm looking at her. "She can go with us, too."

"No," I say immediately. "Does she seem like a partying type?"

Fai looks her up and down and I want to rip his eyes out for just doing so. I squint my eyes at him. "We can make her be one, that's no problem. How would you know if she is the one for parties if you don't let her party? You don't want her to be anything like you and that shit's entertaining to watch."

I shake my head. "She's completely different from me. We've had different lives and she's one of a kind. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"Neither do you," Fai throws my words back in my face.

"Cheers to that, motherfucker!" I say.

Fait pats my knee and stands up. "Decide if you want to hit the clubs with us. We leave in around 15 minutes. Don't expect me to wait a second more."

I wave him goodbye, giving him an innocent smile. "15 minutes. Got ya," I say as if I'm actually going to think about it. I won't. I have to go to work, anyway. But I'm intrigued to see the way his group parties. Are they fun? Do they dance? Or do they just drink? I know they smoke, but what exactly do they smoke? Maybe I'll get a chance to see it some other time.

Harper dances towards me, acting all nonchalant and innocent. I look right through her. She's a terrible actress. "Did he apologise? Was she his sister? Please say it was."

I roll my eyes. "Harp, this is not one of the romantic movies you watch so much. Let him be."

"Are you even into him?" she asks me, putting her hands on her hips.

I chuckle. "What?"

"How can you watch him with another girl? Do you like him or not?"

I almost laugh at her innocence, but I don't want to be rude and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Oh, Harp. so naive. "Harper, it's really not that deep, but you wouldn't understand. No offence."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I take a deep breath. "You have to find the guy appealing and you have to like his character. He has to be the only one for you and you have to be the only one for him. To put it simply, you have to really be into him before you fuck him. I don't. That's the difference and that's why it's so hard to understand for you."

Her eyes bulge out and she looks around, her cheeks getting red. She's uncomfortable. So innocent it's almost making me embarrassed. "You asked, Harp." I shrug.

"I'm already regretting it."

I just give her a big smile, trying to make it innocent, but Harper only shakes her head and goes back to work. I focus on the book again before Fai shows up at my side again. "So? You coming?"

"Nope," I say, not looking up from the book. "It doesn't interest me that much that I would call in sick to work."

Fai only shrugs. "Your loss."

I look up from the book. He's wearing that nonchalant expression that has the effect to piss me off, apparently. "You know what?" I close the book. "I'll go, but I have a condition."

Fai looks up at the ceiling, annoyed. "I invite you to the party and you get to have conditions?"

I place my finger on his chest. "You want me to come," I say lowly.

"Yeah, in more ways than one. Name your conditions and I'll see how much I really want you with us."

"I only have one," I point out. "Pick one tattoo of yours and tell me the meaning behind it."

Fai's face darkens. "My tattoos don't have any meanings."

"Stop bullshitting!" I say, knowing he's lying.

He stares at me and I stare right back. "Either that or you tell how you got heterochromia?"

Fai rolls his shoulders. He doesn't need much time to think about it and I immediately understand which thing he's not willing to talk about. He rolls his sleeve on the left arm up. He points to a date written in Roman numerals. "The date my mother was born. And that's all the meaning behind this one." There are many, many more tattoos. Pictures, words, dates ... I know they all have a meaning and I know he picked the easiest one to explain.

"That's too easy."

"You said one, you got one." He shrugs, rolling the sleeve back down.

"That one doesn't count. I want to know one more. A picture this time."

"You don't get to change the rules of the game to make it to your liking, bee. Take it or leave it."

"One more and I'm coming."

He sighs and lifts his shirt up in the front, showing off more tattooed skin. It's a skyline of a city over his stomach. "Skyline of Dubai. I was born there."

I place my finger on his skin and his muscles clench. He quickly steps back, away from my touch, pulling his shirt back down. His jaw is clenched. "Dubai?" I ask.

"Yeah. So? I'm not going to wait anymore. You got what you wanted."

"I mean, alright, if you insist ..." I did make a deal with him, after all, and I don't back down when I give my word. I'm not like that. People get from me what I promise them, nothing more, nothing less, no fake promises.

I call Harper over. "Hey, Harp. I'm going with Fai and his group."

She looks suspicious. "Where?"

"To some club." I immediately see she doesn't like that. "Don't worry about me, I just want to have some time. Text me when you get home, please."

Harper frowns. "I'll lock the door so you'll have to wake me up when you come to know you're safe."

I make a heart with my hands before I jump down from the stool. "Take this book with you, please," I say. I can't put it anywhere and I'm certainly not going to take my book with me to a club to a party. I'm not a loser like that.

I send a text to my manager that I feel sick and I won't be coming today. This is the first time I've ever done this so I can get away with it pretty easily.

Fai doesn't want to tell me where we're going. He only gives me the helmet, telling me to just climb on the motorcycle because everyone's tired of waiting on me, apparently. I can't tell what the guys think about me going with them. No one says anything and they're all wearing helmets so I can't see their faces. Not that I care anyway.

It's been a minute since I went out to party. The parties have kind of lost their charms, but I used to be pretty heavy on partying and everything that came with it – alcohol and drugs. But then the scene got boring to me because it was repetitive self-destruction and always some drama with everyone that I just didn't want to deal with anymore.

I put on the helmet and climb behind Fai. And we go into the night, leaving the sound of revving machines behind. It doesn't come as a surprise that we go downtown, near the club where I work. There are known clubs around there and there's a club for every taste and for every age.

We go to the club called 6ix and Fai does a handshake with the bodyguard at the door and he lets us in without checking our IDs. Impressive. It might be useful to remember that Fai has connections to get us into the club.

I've never been here before, but the club itself is not special in any kind. It's just a normal club with dim lights and loud music. There are a few people that greet Fai with either a nod or a fist bump, some even with that manly hug that shows just the right amount of affection, but not too much.

We go upstairs to the biggest table with the couch that's reserved and it's for us apparently. There's already drinks and we all start with shots. I don't even think twice about it before drinking three of them, welcoming the burn down my throat that I almost forgot about.

I do notice that Fai chose a beer for himself, though, and he didn't join us with shots. I get closer to him. "Introduce me to your friends," I tell him.

Fai waves his hand nonchalantly. "They know who you are."

I give him an annoyed look. "Yeah, you dummy. But I don't know their names." And I don't want Fai to be the only person that I know here. It's also weird being with a group of people and not knowing their names.

Fai sighs as if I asked him to do the hardest thing in existence. "Bastian. Cruz. Ante. Lev. Jon." He names them how they sit. Lev is the one who has hots for Harper.

I nod. "Which of them is single?"

Fai now gives me his full attention, rotating his body so he's fully looking at me. "You're not getting with any of my friends, bee. They'd kill you before you could get a full sentence out of your mouth."

I raise an eyebrow. "Don't forget one of your friends laid his eyes on my friend so I just might be the one to kill first." I shrug, taking the glass to my lips and down yet another shot.

"Get over it already," Fai says in an exasperated tone. Yes, because he doesn't know what it's like. He's taking all of this as a game, but it isn't. Not with Harper. He can think he's playing with me, but I know the game and I'm willing to play it with him to some extent. Harper isn't.

I roll my shoulders. "I need way more booze if I'll have to deal with you for the whole night," I say. Frankly, he can get on my nerves like no one else.

"You need something heavier, princess?" one of the guys asks suddenly. Ante, I think.

"How heavier."

"Ante, stop this shit," Fai says.

"Fuck off, Fai. Let her decide on herself."

Fai looks annoyed, but doesn't say anything else. He takes the cigarette out and lights it up instead. I shrug at Ante. "Let me see what you have and we'll talk further."

"I only have Molly with me tonight." He shrugs, taking out a full bottle of ecstasy. Shit, they're really not joking.

I do have some experience with drugs from before. Not much, but something. And it's not a bad experience at all, all those times I had a really great time.

I take one pill and put it on my tongue, showing it to Fai just to sort of piss him off a little further. I swallow it and drink a shot on top, scrunching my nose up and laughing it off. "Okay, shit, maybe take it easy a little bit there. I don't want you to kill yourself."

I pat Fai's cheek. "I know what I'm doing."

The guys go for the heroine, thought and Lev settles for marijuana while Fai takes neither. "What? Are you babysitting? Isn't it your birthday or you lied?" I ask him, stealing the cigarette from him and taking a drag.

He glares at me for that. "Not really into drugs."

I shrug, not thinking too much about it.

I start to feel the alcohol already. It's been some time since I drank and maybe I should take it a little easier from now on.

"You know what I really want to do now?" I ask Fai.

He gives me a disinterested look and I grin. "Dance."

"Fuck no," he says, shaking his head. "By yourself maybe."

I look around the club. "I don't think it's going to be by myself, but you're being cute." I stand up and I have to blink a few times to steady myself completely and remember that I still have legs.

I go to the dancefloor, by myself. There aren't many people upstairs so I go down and lose myself in the crowd. I start to feel the pill because I feel lighter. Happier. I don't really see people around me anymore. I'm lost in myself and in the music.

I don't know for how long I dance. It might be 15 minutes or it might be an hour. That's the thing about drugs, you completely lose track of the time. Five minutes can feel like half an hour sometimes. I go back upstairs when I start to get thirsty. A guy tries to stop me on my way up, putting his arm out and blocking my way. "You showed quite the moves there, baby girl. Want to do it again against me?"

I scrunch my face up. "You just totally blew your chance with your weird fucking words." I slap his arm away, shaking my head.

I come upstairs to find the group is incomplete. Jon and Ante are completely missing while Bastian is talking to some girl at the end of the couch. Lev and Fai are the only one at the table. I don't sit down because I'm afraid the alcohol will have an even bigger effect on me.

Fuck, I'm sweating so much.

I take the sweater off and carelessly throwing it next to Fai. I also realise my ponytail got undid and I lost my hairband while dancing. I don't like wearing my hair down and I almost never do. It's too long and it gets in my way, but at this moment, I can't bring myself to care. "Can a girl get something to drink here before she dies from the dehydration? Where is everyone? Left already? Didn't know their bedtime is so early."

Someone places his arm around me from behind, bringing their mouth close to my ear. "Didn't know you'd miss me so fast."

I push Jon away from me, but I laugh. "Someone has to."

Fai stands up, pushing a bottle of water in my direction and sending a glare at Jon. I groan. "Water? Fuck off, Fai, seriously. Give me something fucking stronger."

Ante shakes his bottle of pills into my direction. "Want another one?"

"Stop filling her with the pills, man, what the fuck's your problem?" Fai suddenly bursts out, looking pissed as hell. O-kay.

I throw my arms around him, unable to match his bad mood, but I rather grin. "Come dance with me. You can yell at him later."

"I would rather yell at him n–"

I crash my lips against his, shutting him the hell up. And just because I felt like kissing him. Because I'm happy and everything is good and, right now, there's not any fucked up shit going on in my head. 

*

I'm dying in this heat??? If this is how hot hell is, I really need to start behaving...