CHAPTER 24 - Deep Sea

MABIGAT NA HININGA ang pinakawalan ni Janus saka pumara ng taxi. Ayaw niyang sumabay si Kara kay Javaid, pero naiinis siya dahil baka galit ito dahil sa nangyari kanina. Kung sana hindi na lang niya ito pinilit mag-jeep, hindi sana mangyayari iyon.

Sumakay siya sa pumaradang taxi sa harapan niya.

"Sa Arion International School po," aniya saka ipinikit ang mata. Seconds passed, pero hindi pa rin umandar ang taxi. He heard a constant knocking on the window kaya iminulat niya ang mata.

To his surprise, Kara was standing in front of the window of the taxi. Nagtataka niyang itong pinagbuksan.

"Akala ko ba, sa coaster ka sasabay?" His heart was pounding fast when she entered.

"May sinabi ba 'ko?" She rolled her eyes and whispered, "Mang-iiwan."

He chuckled at the sight of her pissed. "Hindi kita iniwan. Akala ko lang, ayaw mo 'kong kasabay."

She faced him and stared. "Sinong may sabi?"

"Wala." He looked away. He can't contain the rampage of feelings inside him.

Damn. Bakit ba parang ang saya niya na sa kaniya ito sumabay?

"Wala naman pala, eh. Ba't naman ako sasabay kay Javaid, siya ba ang kasama ko?"

"Hindi rin."

"See? Bakit ko naman siya sasabayan kung hindi ko naman siya kasama."

"You like him, don't you?" Pareho silang natigilan sa tanong niya. "Don't answer it."

He looked away. The thought of Kara liking Javaid pained him. And he knows the reason why, he's starting to like her. Hindi siya manhid para hindi maramdaman iyon. Pero hindi pa lang siya nagsisimula ay tingin niya, talo na siya.

Ayaw niyang marinig ang isasagot ni Kara because he might know the answer. He can see it when Javaid is around. The way she smiled at him and the way she laughs, he knows that she likes him.

"Yes, I do like Javaid. He's charming and likeable. I like him as a bro-"

"Stop."

Pain gripped his heart. He knew, of course! Sino nga ba ang hindi magkakagusto kay Javaid? He also has the looks and fame.

Naalala niya ang ideal guy na inilagay ni Kara sa questionnaire na pinasagutan niya. He's neat and also into punk rock songs.

Naikuyom niya ang kamao. Bakit sa lahat ng lalaki, si Javaid pa? Bakit ang dating kaibigan pa niya?

Mabuti na lamang at huminto na ang taxi sa harap ng school niya. Naglabas siya ng 200 saka ibinayad iyon sa driver. Hindi na niya hinintay pa si Kara. He can't face her.

NAKATITIG SI KARA habang palayo sa kaniya ang bulto ni Janus. May nasabi ba siyang masama? Yes, she does like Javaid but as a brother only. Bakit naman niya gugustuhin ang lalaking gusto ng kaibigan niya?

"Mang-iiwan talaga!" bulong niya saka naglakad na rin pabalik sa klase.

Pagpasok niya sa classroom ay mabilis siyang nilapitan nina Vera at Riella.

"Kumusta 'yong venue?" Vera asked.

"Okay na. Nakapagbayad na kami. Wala na tayong problema sa venue."

Tumango ang dalawa. Mabilis din natapos ang klase nila kaya maaga silang nakapunta sa music room. Nakahiga si Kohen sa sofa samantalang nakaupo naman sa table ni Sir Jannick ang kuya niya.

"Si Janus?" tanong niya. Ito lang kasi ang kulang sa kanila.

Kohen eyed. "Akala ko, kasama ka? Hindi pumasok no'ng hapon, eh."

Her brows knitted. "Sabay kaming bumalik ng school kanina before noon class."

"Saan naman pupunta iyon?" Riella asked.

Napaisip siya. Either sa likod ng black building or sa rooftop. Doon kasi niya ito palagi nakikita except sa music room.

Binaba niya ang bag niya sa sofa saka naglakad palabas. "Babalik ako."

Mabilis ang kabog ng dibdib niya habang naglalakad paakyat ng rooftop. Hindi niya alam pero doon siya dinala ng mga paa. When she opened the door, she saw Janus leaning on the wall of the water room.

His eyes were shut and he's wearing his earphones. Dahan-dahan niya itong nilapitan saka naupo sa tabi nang hindi gumagawa ng ingay. Hindi napansin ni Janus ang pagdating niya kaya nagkaroon siya ng pagkakataon na titigan ang guwapong mukha nito.

Kumpara sa una nilang pagkikita, Janus' messy hair was now cleaned cut. Mas lalong nakita ang jawline nitong tila perpekto sa kaniyang paningin. His lips were pressed together. Muling dumapo ang mata niya sa nunal nito sa kaliwang mata. Para sa kaniya, iyon ang parte ng mukha ni Janus na pinakagusto niya. Hindi niya napigilan ang sarili at hinaplos niya iyon.

Dahan-dahang iminulat ni Janus ang mata at bahagya itong nanlaki nang makita siya. Her heart slammed through her chest. Hinawakan nito ang kamay niyang humaplos sa nunal nito.

His chestnut brown eyes stared at her. "Kara . . . ."

Tila nalulunod siya sa lalim ng titig ni Janus sa kaniya. It's like he could see through her. And that stares sent butterflies to her stomach.

"Janus." She almost stuttered when she whispered his name.

Para itong nabalik sa huwisyo at binitiwan ang kamay niya. He looked away and shut his eyes. "Bakit ka nandito?"

"Hinahanap ka nila. Hindi ka raw pumasok sabi ni Kohen. May problema ba? May ginawa na naman ba si Mayor?"

Hindi siya nito sinagot. Nanatili itong nakapikit. "Janus."

He took a glance at her and forced a smile. "Wala . . . just leave," he said but his eyes were like screaming, there is.

Bahagya niya itong pinalo sa braso. "Stop giving me that look. Stop saying there isn't even if there is."

Naiinis siya kapag nagkukunwari ito sa harapan niya. She wants the raw Janus. Iyong walang tinatago. Hindi nagkukunwari.

Janus let out a deep sigh. "But there isn't. Kasi ako 'yong problema."

Naguguluhan niya itong tinitigan. "What? Hindi kita maintindihan."

Sa halip na sagutin nito ang tanong niya, Janus pulled out his phone from his pocket. May pinindot ito roon saka inalis ang isang pares ng earphone sa tainga at inilagay sa kaniya. He played a song that is kinda familiar to her.

It's her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away

Nilingon siya ni Janus saka sinabayan ang kanta. Pabilis nang pabilis ang tibok ng puso niya dahil sa bawat pagbanggit nito ng liriko ng kanta ay parang sinasabi nito iyon sa kaniya. Is he confessing to her through the lyrics of the song?

And my voice shakes along with my hands
'Cause she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again

Huminto ito sa pagkanta at mataman siyang tinitigan. Damn . . . what the hell is happening to her heart? Kinakapos na siya ng hininga.

'Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land

"It was you, Kara. You're that strange sea that I am afraid to swim. Because if I did, hindi ko alam kung makaaahon pa ako. I tried . . . I tried to push these feelings away, but you're always there when I need someone to be with. You never left my side kahit ilang beses kitang ipagtulakan. God knows how much I tried to run away, but I always find myself coming back to you."

He looked away and sadness flicked in his eyes. "Walang problema. Because it's me. I was busy saving myself from drowning on your depths because I know you won't come to save me."

Her lips parted. Tila naputulan siya ng dila dahil hindi niya alam ang sasabihin dito. Her heart was thumping fast in her ribcage. Hindi siya makapaniwala sa sinabi nito. So, it's mutual? He also likes her? Janus also likes her? Para siyang nasa ulap at nanalo sa lotto. Her heart was overwhelmed with the feeling of happiness.

"You are my comfort but also my downfall. I know you like Javaid and who am I to force myself to you? So please, Kara. Just leave . . . ." She felt a pinch in her heart because of his pleading voice.

Muling bumalik sa alaala niya ang pagsabi niya na gusto niya si Javaid. He misunderstood it dahil hindi siya nito pinatapos. He likes Javaid but only as a brother. Crap, nagseselos ba ito kay Javaid?

Inagaw niya ang cell phone ni Janus saka inalis doon ang plug ng earphone at inilipat sa cell phone niya. Confusion was written on Janus' face. Hindi niya iyon pinansin. She scanned her playlist and played a song.

Merrily we fall out of line, out of line
I'd fall anywhere with you, I'm by your side

Tinitigan niya si Janus para makita ekspresyon ng mukha nito. Mukhang hindi nito nakuha ang nais niyang iparating kaya sinabayan niya ang kanta.

You came and you took this heart, and set it free
Every word you write or sing is so warm to me, so warm to me

She continued to sing. He stared at her with his eyes filled with confusion. Damn . . . this guy is making her heart want to get out of her chest.

Forever is a long time
But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side

Marahas na inalis ni Janus ang earphones. "Damn, Kara. 'Wag ka namang paasa. I'm starting to fall on your trap." He looked down.

She chuckled and tilted his head up. "Hindi ako paasa at ako ba hindi? Damn you, Janus. If only you knew how these butterflies on my stomach get wild when you're around. If you only knew how my heart thump so fast when you're near. Hindi mo kasi ako pinatapos kanina. Yes, I do like Javaid but only as a brother figure. I can see a brother in him. But it was you. You're the guy that I like."

He looked at her with gleam in his eyes. Seconds later, he looked away and hid himself in his palm.

"Hey, problema mo?" Tinangka niyang alisin ang kamay nito na nakatakip sa mukha, pero lalo lamang iyong umiwas sa kaniya.

"Janus . . . ."

Hindi ito sumagot. Dumako ang mata niya sa tainga nitong pulang-pula na. Crap, is he blushing?

"Hey." Pilit niyang inalis ang kamay nito and when he put it away, his reddened cheeks faced her.

"You're blushing," she said in awe.

Hindi siya makapaniwala na makikita niya si Janus sa ganoong hitsura. She had dealt with his annoyed, happy and grieving face, but seeing Janus blush in front of her made her feel weightless.

"It's your fault!"

She chuckled because of the softness of his voice. Damn, siya ba talaga si Janus?

"Stop laughing on someone else's feelings, can you?"

Tumango siya. Napuno ng katahimikan ang paligid. Pareho silang nakatingin sa malayo habang nakasuot ang earphone sa magkabilang tainga. She felt awkward because of the silence but also comfortable because Janus was beside her. 'Weird.'

"I will court you." Her mouth fell open. Hindi siya nito tinanong, he just said with conviction. Shit, nagwawala na naman ang sistema niya.

She pursed her lips and gave him a mischievous smile. "Paalam ka muna kay Kuya."