Stranger, why do you stay?

It's been... Well, an infinite time, implausible for me to describe.

Do you love me? Is that why you stayed? I loved someone very much but I forgot them.

I'm the worst.

Stranger, I don't think this run is gonna go different. Once this return is finished and I die what will you do?

Oh right. You can't answer.

Please love me despite all my failures.

I really tried. Does that help?

Probably not.

Newcomer's Welcome

~°°~

Light spilled from the window, painting bright spots all over his bed. His eyebrows fluttered as he blearily opened them. The first thing he noticed was his head pounding as if it had its own heartbeat. It's heavy like lead and burning, as if struck by a sledgehammer three times.

When he stumbled up, his body wanted to drag him down and die, his stomach churning. Boreas rushed to the bathroom, vomit on its way out.

~°°~

If someone were to ask how it felt, Eris Heindell would describe it as something you'll get used to. Bones liquidized into a random matter, your blood clotting and solidifying. Your body wasn't yours, it didn't look like yours nor did it feel like yours. Simply a wisp, watching yourself from afar, twisted into different atoms because in the end of the day, you were just a consciousness, seeing through two holes in a round bone. That was what you must accept before being able to continuously and consistently transform into anything you want. For change to be pursued, there must be a feeling of unsettle, bitter enough to burn through the entirety of your being.

Or, at the very least, that was what helped Eris Heindell to transform.

Sweat slowly dripped down from their chin. Eris turned off the training sim, grabbed their candle tinted glasses and shoved it to their face. It's morning and Eris had personally confirmed that only having three hours of sleep is hell. The bell rang—the portal should open soon. A bunch of sickos wrecked almost every room of the school. Good thing the training room remained untouched.

Train, sleep, Mirror Room, eat. Train, sleep, Mirror Room, eat. Sometimes a travel near to the Walls. Then, train again and again.

Yet, the training results remained unsatisfactory. Transforming into objects had been as easy as breathing now but what Eris wanted to do was to have just one specific body part transformed instead. It's harder to conceptualize that.

The bell screamed once again, more guttural than the last.

Hastily, they grabbed the bag where a small green notebook hid. Rycella knew better than to give it back personally but it quietly appeared to Eris' bag one day. Their dorm room always sat in silence with the exception of Eris' own breaths and footsteps. Rycella would come at midnight when Eris was fast asleep. They know because there would be small, meek footsteps pulling them awake and lulling them back to sleep.

The shower was a cold recluse, soothing embrace to their sore flesh. The notebook sat near, hidden by the towel. Eris always kept it by their side. Somewhere in the pages, there would be drawings, recounting and records of their lonesome night escapades to the Mirror Room and to the edges of the Walls. Just in case their memories were tampered.

They quickly braided their curly hair despite it being still wet and grabbed the glasses resting in the bed. The back of their head still stung. Eris buttoned up the uniform, skin still burning hot yet rather damp and when they blinked, they found themself standing in the front of the Light Tower, watching the Portal form and ignite light. In tiptoes, because of the crowding heads, Eris pored at the sight with an odd sense of deja vu and benign. Lined up, small silhouettes rushed out from the Portal, shyly following a taller, darker figure with bright eyes, wearing a formal suit.

Tall, fit with bright amber eyes. He had a young face and a short, clean ebony black hair, sporting a grin as he waved excitedly. A new Professor.

"Please welcome your new brothers and sisters. And your new Professor Korin Hulner, ID 67.785," said a voice, resounding loudly from the Tower. The crowding students began to clap, most just feigning interest on the newcomers as they made space to make a pathway. The lines of the new students stopped and the Portal began to wane. Boring formalities and nothing of importance, the same kind that Eris had heard when they first arrived here.

Eris heard groups of teens behind them, walking away as they mutter something. Eris almost followed suit but then halted, seeing a familiar face. Which was odd because, it was a hundred percent guaranteed that they never met this person before.

Eris slithered through the crowd and grabbed the kid's hand. He yelped in surprise.

"You. Do I know you?"

The kid squeaked as he fervently shook his head, blue eyes wide under his round, scraggly looking glasses. "N-no, I don't think so. I-I'm very sorry."

Eris stared intently at his face, trying to understand this.. this something.

"Hey, what's the issue here, kids?" That new Professor Hulner took notice of them, quirking an eyebrow. "'S something wrong?"

Eris gritted their teeth, blinked and shook their head. "Nothing, nothing." They glanced at the very, very trembling and confused boy. "I'm sorry kid, I thought you're someone else."

"Ah," the Professor's eyes glistened. "I completely understand. But, um—what's your name?"

"Eris Heindell, ID 13.190," Eris said, politely.

"Well, Eris, don't just grab people out of nowhere!" He beamed and offered out a handshake, which Eris blankly gazed for two seconds before taking it with a firm shake. "Nice to meet you, young Eris. I'm Korin Hulner but please just call me Hulner. New Professor."

"I know," Eris said, simply. Despite meeting him for mere seconds, there's a stab of dislike in their gut."Kind of hard to miss when there's an amplified tower screaming your name."

"Oh, right. Sorry." He flushed in embarrassment and stalked away. Weirdo.

The boy sniffed, scratching his cropped auburn hair. "Well, can you drop my hand now?"

"Right." The callouses of their palm felt a rounded bump on soft skin as they let go of the hand. Eris' eyes fell to the boy's hand and indeed saw a reddish bump on the back of their hand, in the skin between the thumb and the index finger, almost like a pimple. "What happened to your hand?"

"Bug bite. Everyone had them."

"Everyone, huh?" Eris scanned the area, zeroing on the hands of the other kids.

The kid looked at Eris straight in the eyes, initial fear from earlier gone and said, "You're really weird."

Then, he walked away. Eris gazed at the back of their palm in deep wonder then quickly schooled their face back to boredom.

The feast right after was nothing to be bored of however. The long tables of the Dining Hall brimmed of life and food. The chandeliers burned brighter than ever as sweet aroma of freshly cooked food filled the room. There's a fresh, new chatter over all. Fresh, new livestock more like, thought Eris as they munched on a really good fried chicken wing. Eris briefly wondered where and how they managed to get all of these food, of who cooked it and if it's too damn many for them. They saw a bunch of new kids huddled together earnestly praying to Yves along with that new Professor who, in Eris' opinion, smiles too much. (Eris came to a very, very logical conclusion that it's probably a mask and he probably tortures children in his free time.)

They were just like that once. Those prayers wouldn't reach the heavens. No one knew who they were praying to. Not that it mattered anymore. First and foremost, their suspicions were confirmed. That thing they saw in the Mirror Room was a portal. So, portals were at first technological, huh? How weird. It made them wonder what it was for, if there was a match of it outside, waiting, as rusty and burned. No chance to know that unless a goddess existed truly and she decided to give Eris an engineering degree. They meticulously sketched it in the notebook however, as if that would magically materialize it to reality.

Secondly, there should be some sort of charm or glyph to ward off bugs. Because goodness sake, those bumps looked painful. Eris remembered hearing something about epidemics because contrary to popular belief, they did listen to History. Admittedly, kinds of bugs and stuff weren't exactly tackled because there's really no records anymore and bugs didn't exist anymore either.

Eris munched another chicken wing before it clicked.

Needless to say, they ended up glancing endlessly at random kids' hands for the rest of the day. So, the two notes ended up being to four.

Third note consisted of this: all the new kids did have the said 'bug bite'. Fourthly, Eris Heindell didn't know what it meant. Something fishy for sure. While they know they are lacking the quick detective skills of Boreas or the intuitive wit of her, they weren't just friends for nothing.

Eris heard and seen the process elimination from Boreas and they could very much do that. Eris wondered if caressing their chin in a mysterious way would help but their fingers were filled with grease and was very much occupied with food.

So, elimination process. The first thing to do would be subtle observation of the subject or subjects of investigation. They managed to find that redheaded kid from earlier, eating two tables away near the far end.

Eris could be subtle. They stood up and marched straight to the table and reached out for the pie near the kid. Then, without any warning, they sat down beside him and ate. Observing Process.

The boy looked well, eating happily while chattering with his friends not even noticing them. So, not a virus or a transmitted sickness but probable vision impairment. But, his friends did notice Eris, muttering something about the weirdo who kept staring in wrists, so maybe not. Awkwardly, Eris grabbed another slice of pie and ate.

Well, it would be weirder not to say anything and it's not illegal to ask questions at the Observation Process. "How's the bug bites?"

The redheaded boy finally noticed them and narrowed his eyes. "You're the weirdo again. Aren't you a senior or something? Why are you so obsessed with bug bites?"

"Is there something wrong with being obsessed with bug bites?"

His little nose scrunched. "I just don't get it. Aren't old people supposed to be doing more serious and cooler stuff?"

"Ah, well," Eris nodded sagely. "Believe me there's not much difference, well, except maybe for people expecting more of you. Just like what you're doing now." He looked like he didn't believe them however. So, Eris asked instead, "Anyways, did you have those bug bites checked up to the nurse?"

"Ignore her, Ilor." A friend of his butted in with a sharp glare, brandishing a cupcake as if it was a knife. New kids these days are fierce, thought Eris.

Ilor frowned a little, fiddling with the cutlery which was obviously too big for him. "I did. They said it'll be gone in a few days. Now, will you please leave me alone?"

So, it's something that disappears, Eris noted that mentally. It was important enough for them to hide. Considering everyone new had them, it was not improbable to think that everyone had them once, they just disappeared as time went on. Eris didn't remember having a bug bite when they first came here but to be fair, their memory was quite hazy. Now, after gaining the needed information, it was still very important to also have a subtle exit. It was easier to simply just sprint off but that would obviously set off alarms.

Clutching their stomach in one hand, they stood up, stumbling and groaning in pain. "There's something wrong with the pies. They taste quite bad, watch out." Then, they ran off.

The kids looked at her quizzically. Ilor blinked. "But, you're grabbing four of them in your other hand?"

~°°~

The four notes of the day became five. Soon scrapped and became note five vers. two. It wasn't even connected to note four because Eris got distracted. The thoughts had spiraled so out of control that they never did took shape and lasted up until the night. And well, what does Eris Heindell do at night? Travel to the Mirror Room, of course. Which was another weird thing and would be discussed in note six.

Why so? One might ask. And wasn't Mirror Room only safe in Wednesdays? Good question. It was something that Eris noticed when they accidentally forgot the date of the day. For some reason, there was no checking up, no security and the four-eyed fleshballs were nowhere to be found. They were yet to see a Professor trying to stop or atleast follow them. It's almost like they're beckoning them to wander and to search for some reason. Despite Krowan's talk about keeping the peace, GPS and—

"I think I figured it out. Guys!" Eris had been struck by a lightning of realization, comically standing up. Eris swerved their head to look behind, beaming, only to be met by the reflections of their own unfamiliar, blanked face in the endless haze of mirrors.

Of course. After all, Boreas would have probably figured that out earlier.

The silence was palpable and Eris blinked, once, twice, before sitting back down. "That makes sense," they said, chuckling out loud as they reached out for a pen and the green notebook. "Hands are bony, they probably don't like eating that. Plus, it's easier to put it there than in the stomach or something."

Eris glanced at their own hand, tracing the skin in the back of their hand. "We probably have to..." They looked a bit green at the mere thought of it. "To take it out. But, of course not right now. We still need to find that thing for the step one of the Escape Plan." Pen twirled in the air by dark, calloused fingers."And I still haven't figured out how to transform a certain part of myself and we need that for step two."

They sighed and leaned back to the twisted walls. "Should I go and, uh, search for stuff in these mirrors again? I mean, sure, they're interesting especially that cool arc thing and the notes I got but still, mostly just old and useless junk. I can't even understand the books we got. I still don't know Vlyrenian." Eris rubbed their eyes that became heavier and heavier with each passed minute, and yawned, grumpily slinking down even more. The bricks were hard and rather uncomfortable to lay on but they were also cold in a way that made them want to curl up n the corner. "Or—or maybe, we should get back and sleep so I can have more time to train my Peculiar."

"Maybe, I'll get another idea. Of what to do after step one and two. What to do for the Walls Problem then the After The Walls Problem," Eris mumbled to the notebook, caressing their chin in a mystified manner. "I'm talking to myself. I'm asking a notebook what to do. Ugh." Eris slapped themselves awake and tried to force their eyes open. "Can't yet, can't. Need to manage to do one thing before—before..." The word trailed, swallowed by yet another yawn.

Closing their eyes felt like floating away. It wasn't mere tiredness achieved through physical means. It was the tiredness that stacked from days before and the days that will come after that. The stinging tiredness as you put a cold, bitten, left-over pizza on a microwave and accidentally burnt them because you haven't done groceries in a week and you just got home at twelve'o clock from work.

A set of footsteps roused them half-awake. It stopped in front of Eris' sleeping figure and dropped to the knee, lightly shaking them awake. This simply resulted to an annoyed mumbled gibberish as Eris curled to themselves even tighter.

A sigh, tired, sad yet fond, as gentle arms wrapped around trying to carefully lift them off the ground. A hand fixed up the lopsided glasses on their nose bridge. Mint wafted to Eris' nostrils. "You shouldn't sleep here. Let's get you to bed."

"I do wha'ver I want," was the grumbled reply.

That garnered an amused smile. They were carried over the shoulder and Eris gravitated for the warmth, hugging tightly. Trudging slowly, Eris hazily saw the twisted, odd cobbled hallway and the mirrors on its walls that seemed to stare as they passed by. The soft footsteps almost lulled them to sleep.

"You found me." they blurted at the back of the vague figure where they imagined soft, auburn hair resting on her shoulder. Eris kind of missed her bright golden hair.

"I did," Rycella simply hummed in response.

Eris could glimpse reflections staring back through the countless mirrors. They closed their eyes and sighed. "I'm hungry."

Rycella stopped in her tracks. "Want to eat first?"

They shrugged. "Sure. Where to? I want something pumpkin. Or orange. Or chicken."

Rycella glanced at them thoughtfully before nodding. "It's midnight. You need to sleep soon so we need to be quick. Hang on tight." And then she ran. Eris smartly followed the words.

Thankfully, it wasn't something far—or maybe, Rycella was just fast—and they were there in a minute or so. It was a huge, circular, well-polished mirror; looking extremely new compared to the most of the mirror frames in here.

It was then did Eris register how dangerous this was, going to unknown room with Rycella Gullerva, a confidant of demons, a lapdog of the Principal in the middle of the night. Alone. Eris thought of jumping off and sprinting away but it was too late. They were already in when the thought entered their mind. The blank, vague silhouette in front of them now sported reddish hair that reached to her shoulders, muddied by the shadows. Fortunately, Eris didn't die that day, and the room wasn't some hidden torture chamber. Large boxes piled atop each other, almost covering the walls completely. There were locks on each one with bold, bright red symbols that Eris couldn't understand. The room only had one light; a candle, midway to it's death, sitting primly on its brass holder.

"What a nice, dandy place for dinner," said Eris sarcastically, fixing up their glasses. It slept at night nowadays. The air wasn't dusty at least and the place itself looked well kept. The tiles looked new and the mellow paint of the walls were far from falling off.

Rycella dropped them and they yelped in surprise, falling to the ground with a thud. She slouched to the nearest locked box and took out a pin from her pockets. Deft fingers bent them. She stripped off the rubber knobs on its end with her teeth and pushed the pin to the lock. It took a minute or two before Eris heard a soft 'clink' and the lock popped open.

Rycella opened the lid and grabbed for something inside. "Here."

She tossed something to Eris, sleek, dark indigo and star shaped. "What on—"

A fruit. The skin rather spiky, gleaming slightly due to the small flames of the candle. A stem protruded on one of the point, a leaf still sticking. Eris looked at it blandly. "You dragged me here to eat fruit."

"Don't be so dramatic." Rycella rolled her eyes, getting one for herself. "It's Polar Fruit. Biologically engineered to thrive in the dark. This and some kinds of potatoes and underground vegetables are the only plants that survived. Classified information so don't tell anyone, but the best part of this fruit is this." She peeled it open like a banana. The fruit itself looked nothing of significance. White, crunchy meat with small, dark seeds looking like a wild mix of watermelon and sour fruit.

Well, atleast at first. It changed right in front of Eris' very eyes. Smaller, rounder and softer, darkened into bread, baked to perfection. It was still smoking but Rycella bit on it immediately. Which was a bad idea. She made a shocked, muffled noise as it burned on her tongue and throat, eyes glistening. "Okay, wow." Rycella blinked rapidly, eyebrows raised as she swallowed, pained and exhaled loudly in her mouth. She winced. "I can't feel my tongue."

It was then did Eris noticed that there was some sort of filling in the bread, smoking brazenly as if it had just went to the oven. Eris laughed, a full-blown laugh that had their stomach clutching, one that had Rycella tilting her head in some sort of wonder. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Well," Rycella explained sheepishly. "I guess I just missed it. I would have the soup from my home, but we don't exactly have a bowl so.."

A silence settled over them, noxious. They have never actually talked about those things. They didn't have time and it was not like Eris lets her. Eris licked their lips and slowly asked, "Was that bread also from your home? I've never seen food like that. What's it called?"

Rycella squared her jaw, hesitant and Eris felt regret in asking but instead she answered. "I forgot what it's called." She said, in a heartbreakingly familiar manner that Eris understood. "But, it's meat in a bun. It has goose and mushroom. My mother would add some sort of herb that makes it spicy. But not too much." She pursed her lips and swallowed before continuing in an animated manner. "It's very savory. Quite salty and has a tinge of spice. And it's always hot and burns my mouth. Try."

Eris nodded and took a small bite, internally panicking on what to say and simply settled on the first thing their mind had said. "That's nice." They weren't lying. The bun was soft but had that nice toasted feel; the meat melting in your mouth, contrasted by the earthy flavors of the mushrooms and thyme. The filling, hot and spicy. It did burn and Eris almost choked at the heat. "Very nice."

"It is." The taller girl smiled. "Anyways, you should eat yours too. Of course no soup. Oh yeah, and don't pick anything sweet because—"

It was too late however because Eris already had a chocolate bar in hand, halfway their mouth. Wide-eyed, Eris spat the chocolate out, braided, dark hair shaking as they shook their head fervently with a greenish touch in their bronze skin. "It's very bitter!"

"—the fruit can't duplicate the sweet taste," she ended lamely. She handed a bottle of water to the doubled over Eris in the corner.

"What? Why?!"

"I don't know?" Rycella shrugged. "You might have to ask the people who made it. Although, you might have to find a Peculiar that can speak to the dead or something of that sort," she said, with an amused crinkle in her eyes. But Eris straightened at the words as if awakened from a dream.

"Is there really a Peculiar like that?" Eris murmured in a soft, animated way.

"Well," Rycella started before swallowing. "Maybe. I don't know." She fiddled with the hems of her uniform as she steeled her face in soft resolve that cracked as quickly as it formed. "I'm sorry. There's so many things—and I'm sorry. I couldn't do anything at all."

Eris stiffened. "It's fine."

"The Graduation will be held in just a few weeks."

"... I see."

The silence sat over the air once again, carrying something palpable with it albeit not the harsh tension from their former conversations. Which was odd because Rycella expected them to atleast get angry. Awkwardly, Eris grabbed another fruit from the box and peeled it. A crispy, chicken landed on dark, calloused palms. An audible crunch was heard as Eris chomped on it, face brightening as they swallowed.

"Oh, wow—holy shit, that's good." Eris' voice was muffled tinged with delight as they even slurped to the bones. "So, how does this get planted? I mean, the seeds kind of transformed along with the fruit." They rotated the bones as black eyes searched for seeds. "Yep, no seeds. How odd."

Rycella quirked a brow in suspicion, lips pursed into straight line.

"Just curious." The smaller girl shrugged, leg bouncing fervently. "I don't fancy starving to death. I know there's like the Shroud stuff so I'm just wondering how easy it is to plant this and how long it takes to like, y'know, grow." Eris cocked their head to the side as their hands made some blooming gesture. "And are there like trees outside? Or is it just like... Always potatoes? Because there are trees in the Dome so—"

"Eris," said Rycella, clear and sharp. "There's only one tree in the Dome. And it's the one on the east side of the Wall."

Eris blinked, hesitating for a minute before rolling their eyes and tossed away the bones. "Fine, whatever. Sorry if my mind's a bit fucked up and forgetting." They sighed as they stood up and stretched. "My friend kinda died and I forgot them so it's a bit of—" They shook their head. "Whatever."

The redhead's face soured as if beaten by her own game, lips tight. "Well, you of course, can't plant it if it's already eaten. Some of the Polar fruits are not served and they're the ones being planted instead. Although, what most people do is take out the seeds before serving." She paused, glanced at Eris and pushed her rimmed glasses up her nose bridge. Eris urged her to go on. She sighed. "It isn't a tree. And it's first fruit should start showing after a week or so. Grows quite fast but peeled skin rots quite as fast as well and used as fertilizers. It perfectly gives proper nutrition and minerals—well, minus glucose—but of course, it still has to be balanced ."

Eris snorted. "So, it grows real fast, duplicates food perfectly, somehow also perfectly gives the needed calories and whatnot, and doesn't need sunlight. But it can't have sugar." They accentuated the last word as they looked at Rycella in disbelief. "That's some bullshit."

"Look, Eris, I'm as confused as you are," she said defensively, raising her arms. Her cheeks were warm pink. "I don't know much about it either. "

"Then, how did they make the foods sweet?" Eris asked incredulously.

"Sweet potatoes, there's like a whole process and..." Rycella scratched the back of her head, shutting her eyes for a second and inhaled deeply. "Look, I'm not a food expert. Do you think, I can go around and ask demons about the intricate process of sugar—"

Eris held their hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, I get it. Stop looking like you'll strangle me."

She huffed as she stood and crossed her arms. "Good. Can we go to sleep now?"

"Can I have water first? This thing can turn to liquid right?" Eris gave their best impression of puppy eyes, their hands clasped together. "Can you get me a bowl or a cup, pretty please. I wanna try."

Rycella hunched down and tiredly muttered something incoherent before sighing and nodding. Eris' soft, rounded features lit up and they beamed, smiling widely. Well, Rycella supposed, nothing wrong with indulging sometimes. Plus, the mirror to the Principal's Office should be close.

She grimaced at the mere thought of jasmine tea and a figure stuck in a creaking chair, watching the fifteen screens in her office but she went anyways. The room was already dark when she went in. Screens were open, painting the whole room into a bluish hue. The scent of tea ever present of course, and green eyes perceived a shadow of a cup along with the silhouette of the Principal near the table, but the kettle was cold. A bird mask rested on a chair. Clothes haphazardly laid on the floor. Rycella wrinkled her nose at the odd stench in some. Well, at the very least, this is still quite better than scheming, loud Principal. Or, manic, obsessed Principal.

Rycella didn't really know the rules for the Principals but she had gotten an inkling that the procedures for the showings weren't exactly a walk in the park. She doubted that she had ever eaten the whole day. She didn't ask, however. The Principal had the tendency to not hear real voices especially when busy and especially if the said real voice was like Rycella's, quiet, soft and mellow, so instead she thought very, very loudly, Can I borrow a cup?

And received the tiniest, slimmest movement of a nod. She washed the cluttered dishes and placed them to the plateholder, grabbed a cup and strode towards the door. She felt her soul jumping out of her skin when a full-blown laughter suddenly burst from behind.

"My bad, my bad," the Principal puffed out in a breath, hunched over in laughter to the point her eyes began to shimmer. "I just heard the funniest and absurd joke—so like there's a kid who—wait, I can't explain the joke, it wouldn't be funny." She was still chuckling, slapping her desk. "Just... just go."

Rycella opened her mouth, flabbergasted before wisely shutting it close and went out in a hurried pace. She supposed mind reading really wasn't that cool after all. It wasn't long before she saw the large circular, mirror again. Rycella cleared her throat and straightened her back before she clambered back to the circular mirror, a smooth, pottery cup for jasmine tea in hand. "Eris, here—"

An empty space lest for the boxes and starry fruits was what she met instead. Eris was gone.

~°°~