Chapter 1

“One, two, three,” that was a cue coming from the photographer telling us to smile in front of his camera.

Ngumiti naman ako habang kasama ang family ko. My parents were sitting on a beige sofa while me and Ate Trixie stood behind them. The photographer also told us to stay at our parent’s both sides and that’s what we did.

Kinuhanan din ng litrato ang parents ko na silang dalawa lamang since this event is for them, and of course, mayroon din iyong kasama nila ang mga bisita. After couple of shots, I heard the visitors clapped at us and my parents kept thanking them.

Today’s my Mom and Dad’s silver anniversary. Of course, they had lots of visitors, thanks to them who don’t even get tired in inviting people especially in their firm.

Okay, I grew up in a family of lawyers and not to brag, they own a well-known firm in the whole region kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung sobrang dami ng kanilang kakilala. Their connection is no joke at all.

“She’s your youngest, right?” One of my parent’s colleagues asked. Nakita ko naman ang pagtango ng Mom ko. “Is she going to take your footsteps too?” Dagdag pang tanong nito.

Mom just smiled at her and instead of answering her colleague’s question, she abruptly changed the topic.

“Oh, I think the cake is ready! Let’s go there!” Mom answered. Nang lingunin ako nung babae ay ngumiti na lamang ako sa kanya.

Dahil nga handa na iyong cake, halos sabay-sabay na nagsitayuan ang mga bisita to witness how my parents would cut their anniversary cake.

“Happy silver anniversary, Eryn and Jackson!” malakas at nakangiting bati ng mga bisita saka nila hiniwa iyong cake.

Sunud-sunod namang nagpalakpakan ang lahat at ganoon din ang ginawa ko at ni Ate Trixie.

“Happy 25th anniversary, Mom and Dad,” ngiting bati ni Ate Trixie nang makalapit ito sa kanila.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” and they hugged her.

Binati ko rin sina Mommy at Daddy and they both pinched my cheek causing everyone to giggle at us.

“Your family is so adorable,” manghang kumento ng isa sa mga bisita. Ang ilan pa’y sumang-ayon sa sinabi nito.

“Thanks to these two pretty young ladies here!” proud namang sambit ni Daddy at niyakap pa niya kami ni Ate sa magkabila niyang kamay.

Being prisoned in my Dad’s arm, I can’t help but smile.

Around 10 in the evening when that event ended. The hotel service chauffered us in our house. Pagkarating ko sa bahay ay agad na akong pumasok sa kwarto dahil nga inaantok na ako.

Kinabukasan ay pumasok na ako sa paaralan. All of us sat in our designated chairs as soon as our teacher arrived.

“Good morning class,” bungad sa amin ng aming guro at binati naman namin ito pabalik.

Done with the opening prayer, agad nitong ibinahagi sa amin ang aming gagawin sa susunod na linggo, that is about our work immersion since we are senior high school students.

Work immersion, as explained to us, is one of the course requirements for our graduation and we need to undergo Work Immersion because this will provide us a real workplace experience, and to prepare us in meeting our needs, the challenges of employment we might encounter soon and of course, in preparation for higher education after we graduate.

Since I’m a STEM student, we were given the chance to choose what agency or company we would like to work with. In this immersion, we are required to render a minimum of 80 hours and that would be for two weeks.

Ma’am Teresita further explained us the details. Na kailangan namin ng documentary portfolio as well as in making our reflection during that work immersion.

Natapos ang araw na iyon na puro tungkol doon ang naririnig ko. Sino nga ba naman kasing hindi ma-eexcite ‘di ba? Pagkalabas ko sa gate ang siya namang dating ng family driver namin.

Pagkapark pa lang ng car sa garahe, halos takbuhin ko ang living room para lang maibalita sa parents ko ang magaganap sa susunod na linggo. 

“Mom, magsisimula na ang Work Immersion namin next week,” masaya kong salubong dito pagkapasok ko.

“I see, but it would have been better if you...” hindi nito itinuloy ang dapat niyang sasabihin saka siya naiiling na tumayo at umakyat sa hagdan.

Nakita ko pa ang pagkadismaya sa mukha nito... katulad ng lagi kong nakikita sa tuwing nagbabahagi ako ng mga kaganapan sa school namin.

Napalingon naman ako sa direksyon ni Ate Trixie nang marinig ko ang pag-tsk nito.

“You know how Mom hates it when you tell her some stuff about your school. If you should have just took Humanities and Social Sciences strand, you won’t be feeling this way," nakakrus ang brasong saad nito habang ang paningin niya ay nakatutok lamang sa telebisyon.

"You know I’m pursuing a medical doctor course, Ate. Why would I take HUMSS if—”

"And you’re proud of it after going against with our parent’s decision, huh?” sarkasmo nitong tanong sabay ikot ng kanyang mga mata.

I want to tell her that I didn’t go against my parent’s decision, that I just followed my own decision that’s why I took the STEM strand because I know that would be my steppingstone in achieving my dreams, but knowing how my sister would react if ever I voice it out, I decided to keep those words in myself instead.

Nagpakawala na lang ako ng malalim na buntong hininga. Dahil ayaw ko namang makipag-argumento pa kay Ate, umakyat na lang ako ng hagdan at pumanhik sa aking kwarto.

“Argh, kainis!” inis kong sambit saka padapa kong itinapon ang aking katawan sa malambot na higaan.

Minutes after, bumangon ako at iyong larawan ng aking pamilya ang una kong nakita. Dahil sa inis na nakakubli pa rin sa aking katawan ay nilapitan ko iyon at ipinataob doon sa ibabaw ng mesa. Nakakainis lang kasi. Hindi naman sila ganoon dati.

They started to treat me differently when I took the STEM strand. Although I kept telling them that I wanted to become a doctor soon, they didn’t believe that I will really pursue it that’s why ganoon na lamang ang trato nila sa akin.

Simula noon, nawalan na ng gana ang mga magulang ko pati ang Ate ko na makinig sa mga masasayang balitang ibinabahagi ko sa kanila pati sa mga achievements na nakukuha ko sa school.

You see, I grew up in a family of lawyers and when my parents learned that I took the STEM strand, nag-iba ang pakikitungo ng mga ito sa akin.

I know why they are treating me this way. They wanted me to follow their footsteps but never in my whole life did I imagine that I will become a lawyer.

Doctor ang nakikita ko sa sarili ko. I can foresee myself wearing a white coat and not a black coat. Bakit ba hindi nila matanggap na pagiging doctor ang gusto ko? Bakit ba hindi nila ako masuportahan sa pangarap ko?

“Mom, Dad, guess what?” hindi maitatago ang ngiti sa labi ni Ate Trixie habang sinasabi niya iyon.

Narito kami ngayong apat sa dining table at kasalukuyang nanananghalian nang magbukas ito ng topic.

“What is it?” Mom asked as she wiped the side of her lips using a tissue, then she looked at my sister’s direction.

“I got a flat 1 in my major subject!” sobrang sayang sambit nito kasabay ng kanyang pagtili.

“Really, sweetheart?” Dad proudly asked and Ate Trixie nodded.

Kasabay noon ay ang pagkekwento pa nito sa mga ginagawa nila sa school at kita ko sa mukha ng parents ko na talagang interesado sila sa pakikinig. Hindi rin maubos-ubos ang congratulatory message na ibinibigay nina Mom at Dad para kay Ate habang ako ay tahimik lamang na nakikinig sa aking pwesto.

“Bakit kaya hindi mo gayahin ang ate mo, Megan?” pansin kong napatingin ang mga ito sa gawi ko.

“Pinagbubutihan ko naman po ang pag-aaral ko,” I answered with a small smile in my face.

When Ate Trixie met my gaze, I also smiled at her and told her that she deserves it. After that, I took the glass of water in front of me. I was about to drink from it nang maramdaman ko ang pasikretong pagsiko nito sa akin dahilan para mahulog iyon at mabasag sa sahig.

“Megan!” histeryang sigaw ni Ate at agad na napatayo sa kanyang pwesto.

“I’m sorry, Ate,” hinging paumanhin ko.

“Wala ka na ba talagang matinong gagawin? Why can’t you even hold that glass properly? You’re so clumsy, Megan!” Mom scolded me. Wala akong nagawa kundi ang mapatungo na lamang sa may paanan ko.

“Instead of congratulating your sister, look what you did!” Nagagalit namang saad sa akin ng Daddy.

“Naramdaman ko po kasi ‘yong pagsiko ni ate—”

“Megan!” Dad cut my words off without even hearing the reason why the glass fell off. I pursed my lips as I felt the hot liquid on the side of my eyes.

“Sorry po,” naiiyak kong sambit saka ako nagmadaling tumakbo palabas ng bahay. Rinig ko pa ang pagtawag sa akin ni Daddy.

“Hayaan mo siya, Dad, nag-iinarte lang ‘yon for sure,” rinig kong usal ni Ate bago ako tuluyang makalabas ng pintuan. Doon na rin tumulo nang tuluyan ang mga luha ko.

Hindi ko lang kasi mapigilang maging emosyonal dahil sa sitwasyon ko.

I don’t know why people envy the kind of family I have. They thought our family is close to a word perfect, but it is not. Kung titignan sa larawan, maybe I could agree that our family is perfect but in reality, it is not. It is not and it will never be.

About my Ate, I’m so proud of her to be honest. Nakikita ko kasi kung paano siyang nagpupursigi sa kanyang pag-aaral lalo na sa kursong kanyang kinuha. She’s a graduating student of a law course, katulad din sa parents ko kaya suportado nila siya sa lahat ng mga ginagawa niya lalo na because she’s vying for a Latin honor — a Summa Cum Laude to be specific.

I sometimes envy her because my parents are giving her their full support which I think I cannot feel for the rest of my life... just because I’m pursuing a course they didn’t like for me.

Pinahid ko ang mga luha ko gamit ang likod ng aking palad. Kasabay ng pagtakbo ko palayo ay ang muling pagsipagbagsakan ng mga luha sa aking pisngi.

Sometimes I’m wondering if I took the HUMSS strand, would they support me the way they are doing to my sister? Would they guide me? Would they encourage me? Would they lift me up?

Pero ayoko naman kasing kunin ang kursong ayaw ko. Bakit ba hindi nila maintindihan iyon?

Tuluy-tuloy pa rin ako sa paglalakad. Naramdaman ko na nga iyong pagkatuyo ng luha sa aking pisngi pero hinayaan ko na lang iyon hanggang sa mapadpad ako sa isang tulay. Pumagilid ako sa may gutter at nagtuluy-tuloy ulit sa paglalakad.

When I found a nice spot, tumigil ako roon at tinignan iyong dagat sa baba. Grabe ang sikat ng araw ngayon. Katunayan ay nasisilaw ako sa repleksyon nito kahit sa tubig mo lang tignan pero hindi ko iyon ininda. Pasalamat na lang ako dahil medyo malakas-lakas iyong simoy ng hangin kaya kahit paano ay hindi masakit sa balat iyong sikat ng araw.

Ipinatong ko ang dalawa kong paa sa may bakal sa baba noong tulay para mas lalo ko pang ma-appreciate iyong tanawing nasa harapan ko ngayon. Then I spread my arms to feel the breeze of air. I even closed my eyes.

Parang tanga na kung tignan pero wala akong pakialam. Besides, wala namang nadadaan masyado na mga tao. And if ever there is, I wouldn’t mind. They don’t know my pain so they don’t have the right to judge me. I just want to free myself right now dahil sigurado akong masu-suffocate na naman ako pagbalik ko sa bahay.

If only my arms were wings, I wanna fly right now so I could fly freely and forget all my problems but I’m too selfish to think that way lalo pa’t hindi ko naman pwedeng takasan ang mga problema ko.

After spreading my arms, napahawak naman ako sa parang railings nung tulay.

“Ang unfair niyo!” sigaw ko. Umaasang sa pagsigaw kong iyon ay mawala lahat ng inis ko. “I hate you!” I shouted again and tears automatically rolled down my cheeks.

Bakit ba labas nang labas ang mga luhang ‘to? Nakakainis naman.

I tip toed and was about to shout that phrase once again when I felt my body being lifted on air. Noon ko lang naramdamang may nagbuhat pala sa akin.

“Ano ba?” reklamo ko nang maibaba ako nito.

“Don’t take your life just because of your problems!” sigaw nung lalaking nagbuhat sa akin kanina. “If you have problems, you can open it up to your friends, or to your family, or... even to me since I’m just a stranger. I won’t judge you. Just don’t do what you are planning to do. Taking your own life will never be a solution!” muli nitong sigaw sa akin.

My eyes narrowed because of what he’s saying and soon I realized what he meant. He thought I’m going to suicide?

Dahil sa isipang iyon, hindi ko mapigilang mapatawa nang malakas. Saan ba niya nakuha ang ideyang magsusuicide ako? Just because I’m standing on the bridge, he thought I’m going to take my life?

Muli akong napatawa nang malakas habang siya naman ay nakakunot lang ang noo, pinagmamasdan ako. Napaupo na nga rin ako dahil sa katatawa pero ang tawang iyon ay unti-unting napalitan ng hikbi hanggang sa sakupin muli ng luha ang aking pisngi.

I hope my family would care for me as much as this stranger is doing to me. Is it really hard for them to consider my feelings? Kahit man lang sana sinundan nila ako pero hinayaan lang talaga nila akong umalis. Am I really nothing to them?

Ipinatong ko ang ulo ko sa magkadikit kong tuhod at doon ay muli akong nag-iiyak. Makalipas ang ilang minuto, pinunasan ko rin ang luha ko saka ako tumayo at pumunta roon sa dati kong tinayuan.

“Hindi ako magpapakamatay, magpapahangin lang,” saad ko nang maramdaman ko ang muling paglapit nung lalaki sa akin.

After inhaling a large amount of air, nilingon ko iyong estranghero. Pansin ko namang nakatitig lamang siya sa akin. Siguro ay iniisip nitong baliw ako, na kanina lamang ay tumatawa ako tapos ngayon naman ay biglang umiiyak.

Still staring at me, I snapped my fingers in front of him.

“Bakit ganyan ka makatingin sa akin? Nagagandahan ka ba?” I joked.

He glared at me. “Sino namang may sabing maganda ka?”

“Pangalan ko,” sagot ko.

“Seriously?” hindi makapaniwalang saad nito.

“Of course! Baka hindi mo alam? I am Megan. Megan-dang nilalang,” proud kong saad pero binigyan lang ako nito ng blankong tingin. “Okay, waley! Ang korni talaga ng joke ko!” I added.

Naiiling naman ito sa akin. “Why did I even intervene you in the first place?” rinig kong bulong nito saka siya tumalikod. Doon ko napansing may dala itong bike.

“Oy, teka lang!” pagpipigil ko sa kanya nang magsimula na itong magpedal saka ako tumakbo sa kanyang harapan. “Pwedeng pa-angkas? Or ako na lang magbike, ikaw aangkas.” I negotiated but he just shook his head again.

“Tss. Hop in,” masungit nitong saad matapos ang ilang minuto na akala mo ay sa kotse niya ako pinapasakay.

Before doing so, I offered him my hand. “Just for formality, I’m Megan Uy,” pagpapakilala ko rito. He stared at my hand for seconds before he took it.

“Aldridge. I’m Aldridge Samonte,” I smiled at him then I sat at the rear rack, it’s like the back seat of his bike.

“Let’s go Aldridge,” I demanded, feeling close to him while flashing a big smile on my face.

Kahit na napailing ulit ito, hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti. Then he started pedaling the bike and without hesitation, I held on his waist.

Mula sa mga buhok kong nililipad ng hangin at pikit ang mga mata, I let the breezy air overshadowed my inner feelings while I was with Aldridge, a man whom I just met.