14. To love and lose
Clint ran up the steps of the City Hall building the moment he heard Marie and Zack screaming. He rushed inside before the decontamination unit could begin to spray him down.
The first thing that he saw inside was his wife and son trying to fight off an entire horde of infected surrounding them. Marie had a long table lamp in her hand. Zack was holding a box cutter.
"Those are your weapons?!" Clint cried out.
Marie glared at him. "You have a gun, don't you? Use it, dumbass!"
Clint pulled out the pistol and shot one of the infected who was approaching Marie from behind. He didn't get the creature in the head but managed to cap a bullet into its shoulder.
"Get away from them!" Clint yelled.
"What do you think we are trying to do?!" Marie yelled back, whacking an infected lady in the head with the table lamp.
Clint groaned. "I wasn't talking to you, idiot!" He shot another mumbling dummy who was stalking closer to his son. Bang!
"Don't call me an idiot, Clint! Or I swear--"
"Then stop acting like one!" Bang! "I'd told you to stay out of this building!"
"You just said that cuz you didn't want to sleep in a government building. And that's because you hate the government as a general thing!" Whack!
"Look what your love for the government landed you in!" Bang!
"I don't love the government, Clint. Shut up!" Whack!
"If you don't then why did you come here?!"
"Because the doors and windows were intact!"
"Would you two stop fighting for once!" Zack yelled. "We all might die right now! Is this the last thing you wanna be saying to each other?!"
Marie's eyes went wide under her mask. "Who said we are gonna die, Zack? Stop having such a negative outlook on life!"
"That still doesn't mean you two gotta argue in a dangerous situation like this!" Zack stabbed one of the infected in the crotch. "Like read the room, ya'll!"
Clint groaned but didn't drag the argument any further. He shot another infected in the leg, punched two other infected that were shuffling closer to him.
Marie and Zack were slowly inching along by the wall, trying to make their way towards Clint.
"Clint, watch out. The gunshots are drawing more of them near to you."
"Don't worry about me, just get here fast before I run out of bullets," Clint said, gritting his teeth, trying to shoot the infected that could blindside Marie and Zack and trying to kick away the ones that were too close to him for comfort.
Clint fired five more bullets. The magazine had twelve. He had used up seven already. On his eighth bullet the trigger went stiff. Clint squeezed it harder. But gun didn't fire. "Uh-oh." His face lost its color. "The damn thing is jammed!"
Marie slammed the heel of her boot into one of the infected and shoved him away. Zack cut another one in the kneecap and elbowed him away. His eyes went wide. "Dad, the door!" he cried out.
Clint saw what his son was pointing at. "Oh god, why now?!" Another horde was stalking up the steps of the City Hall porch. The gunshots had probably attracted them. Clint pulled his survival knife strapped to his belt and slashed one of the infected in the throat. A dark blue jelly oozed out of the wound. "Ugh, gross!"
That's when the mindless chattering grew more frantic, the infected pushed the huge doors shut and slid the bolt home. Clint heard Marie's shriek for help among the meaningless droning voices.
An infected woman had Marie's hair in a death grip, another infected man was trying to pull off her mask. An older infected man was trying to rip open her shirt. Zack was trying to free his mom. Two more infected were trying to wrench him away.
"Keep you hands off my family, you animals!" Clint growled, wearing his backpack on his stomach like a hefty armor and barreling through the horde with all his strength, knocking aside the bodies like bowling pins as he crashed through the sea of shuffling husks of humans.
He pulled out his survival knife and stabbed the old infected in the skull who'd been trying to undress Marie. Then he slammed his elbow into the face of the guy who'd been trying to take off her mask. Next he stabbed the infected woman's wrist that had been clutching at Marie's hair. He tore his son out of the grasp of the two other infected and tossed him over his shoulder in a fireman's hold. He grabbed Marie's hand and pulled her after him, once again barreling through the ocean of bodies like a human battering ram.
Clint had been no quarterback, but he knew if he didn't pretend to be one right now, he might just lose his wife and son. "Clint, the door's that way!" Marie cried out.
"There are too many infected by the door, not to mention the suckers even put a bolt on it. We can get bitten while trying to unlock it. Too risky!" Clint said.
"Then where are we going?" Zack asked, slumped over his Dad's bony shoulder.
"Upstairs!" Clint gritted his teeth as he knocked aside the shamblers in his way.
Marie and Clint bolted up the stairs. Zack clung tightly to his Dad's shirt as his Dad's shoulder poked into his stomach. "Dad, the horde is after us!"
"Just close your eyes and plug your ears son! Don't pay attention to them!" Clint said as they ascended the stairway.
"Okay, dad!"
###
When Lisa opened her eyes Marllowe was not in the truck with them and the sun was starting to shine outside. Cathy's breathing had become normal but her mumbling still hadn't stopped. Her fever had gone down a bit, but that still didn't end all of Lisa's worries.
She donned her gas mask and climbed out of the truck through the front door. Marllowe was crouched by the front tyres, the truck was tilted on a heavy-duty jack. And he was replacing the wheel. What stuck out to Lisa the most was that the tyres had melted to a mush, and even the metal rim on the inside looked burnt. "What the hell did it even rain from those clouds?" she said, crossing her arms as she watched him work.
His helmet turned to face her, his face was still obscured in the dark plexiglass. "Your husband was the scientist. Shouldn't you have a better idea than me?" She imagined him smirking under that thing on his head.
Lisa wasn't amused. "I'm really not ready to find it funny yet," she said, looking away. "It's barely been twenty four hours since Richard...since he left us."
Marllowe's shoulders slouched, a ragged sigh rattled through the respirator in his helmet. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," she said. "It's not like anything could've saved him."
Marllowe didn't react to her statement and kept working on the tyre. Lisa's gaze wandered away, taking in everything that remained after the rain–there wasn't much to begin with. Buildings had crumbled into a slush of brick and mortar and concrete and stones. The roads had caved into the earth, small craters were formed in the surface in which some sort of purple residue glinted in the sunlight. There were also masses of metal, plastic, leather and glass that might've been cars before it rained. One of these was the convertible that Lisa and Cathy had driven in. She could see miles away, the ground was leveled and all that was left were these crumpled piles of civilization.
And then her eyes happened on the truck. It was the only thing that stood firm in the rain and it was still standing. There were just tiny specks of black printed all across its surface. The metallic body of the vehicle had a chromium gleam to it but it actually casted reflections much clearer than chrome itself. Lisa was captivated by its odd appearance. It was like gazing at a tropical mountain standing tall in a barren desert.
She was only distracted by the electronic hiss of the radio that was perched on the front bumper of the truck.
"So, Dr. Neville, please tell us what might've caused this tragedy to our dear sector--"
Lisa's face twisted into a furious glare. She stomped up to the radio and scooped it in a blazing grip. "That's not Richard!" she screamed into the machine. "That's not my husband, you lying sacks of shit! It's some bozo you guys are paying to pretend to be Richard! It's not my Richard! My Richard is dead and you are the ones responsible!" Her voice had now turned to a grating growl. She raised the radio above her head, ready to slam the thing down.
That's when Marllowe rushed up to her and snatched the machine out of her hands. "Woah, there, sister, calm down!" he said. "You wouldn't wanna do that! The radio was a gift from a friend."
Lisa glared at him. Her breath was heavy, fogging up on the visor her of her mask, her face was flushed red in fury, her hair was wild and falling over her forehead and around her temples. She flared her nostrils and looked away. The glare couldn't last too long on her features. Soon the anger dissipated, turned to sadness and brought a fresh supply of tears to her eyes. Her shoulders trembled, her head hung low.
Marllowe sighed and put an awkward hand on her arm. "H-Hey, you okay, Mrs. Neville?"
Lisa started to cry harder, shaking her head. "I'm not," she said. "I'm absolutely not okay."
Marllowe stared at her, giving a small nod. "Understandable."
###
"I wanna run for elec..."
"I have to file the repor..."
"The data is incom..."
"My filesssss..."
The Harris family had managed to lock themselves in the bathroom while the infected banged at the door outside, mumbling away as mindlessly as always. Marie sat leaning against the wall, hugging Zack close to her.
"You didn't get hurt, did you Mom?" Zack asked softly.
Marie smiled and shook her head. "I'm completely fine, honey."
Zack hugged her tighter.
Clint paced around frantically. "Should we try the vents? Maybe we can crawl away like in the movies? Or maybe jump out the window? Climb down the pipes? Or we can rip down one of these doors and use it as shield? Or--"
"I'm sorry," Marie said.
Clint paused, looked down at Marie slumped on the floor, holding their son, comforting him or trying to comfort herself. She was looking up at Clint with an apologetic shimmer in her big blue eyes. "I'm sorry," she said again. "You were right. I'm the one who messed this up."
Clint bit his lip nervously. "I-I...I don't blame you, Marie."
"I know you don't," she said. "You never blame me for anything, Clint. You always take all the burden on yourself. Despite our constant arguments I know you never blame me for anything. You are always looking to take the responsibility." Her voice was starting to tremble. "I-I'm the one who is ruining you, am I not? It's not this outbreak, not the war, not Nick, not survival, not the government. It's me who is making you this way, isn't it?"
Breath seemed to constrict in Clint's throat. It took him a good minute to find his voice again. Even then he only managed to whisper, "Marie..."
###
Lisa and Marllowe were back in the truck again. Lisa had taken off the mask and was drinking water from the canteen that Marllowe had offered her. "Thanks," she said, handing the canteen back to him.
"Don't mention it." Marllowe shrugged. "You want more of these?" He waved another pack of tissues at her.
She looked at the bundle of paper napkins and shook her head. She had already finished one pack he'd offered her. Her face was red and blotched from crying. She shook her head. "I won't need them, I guess." She took a deep breath and looked down at her baby bump. Her eyes dropped somberly. "Richard left because we had this baby on the way. I was thinking about this all night. If I hadn't gotten pregnant, would Richard still be here?"
Marllowe was quiet for some time. The dark plexiglass helmet was facing the crater-filled road ahead before it finally turned to regard her. "You aren't blaming your unborn child for what happened to him, are you?" he asked.
She shook her head again. "I don't blame this kid," she said. "There's nothing that this child could've done. I'm blaming myself. I was the one who wanted to be a mother. I was the one who wanted to raise a family in this hell." She looked up through the windshield and at the heaps of waste that had once been Sector 22. "I'm the one responsible."
###
"It's not you," Clint said, crouching in front of Marie and Zack. "I made mistakes because I'm not perfect. And that's what keeps bugging me. I want to do better. Provide better. Be better for both of you." He ruffled Zack's hair before taking Marie's hand in his own. "But I never measure up to being the person I want to be for you. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you were the bad guy in this marriage. You weren't. And you'll never be. I'll always love you, no matter what."
Marie gazed at him for a long moment. "Promise?"
Clint smiled. "I promise."
The infected were still slamming at the door, the hinges were starting to rattle. The the bolt was coming loose.
"What are we gonna do now, dad?" Zack said softly.
Clint's eyes moved from his wife to his son and back to his wife again. He rose to his feet, walked over to the door. "Both of you can hide in one of these stalls. I'll throw the door open and run outside, drawing the horde away. I'll rush downstairs and open the main door. You two make the run for it and get out of the building. I'll ditch these dummies once I make sure you two got away and meet up with you near the house we left earlier."
Zack got up and grabbed onto his Dad's jacket. "Dad, that's dangerous. I won't let you," he said.
"It's more dangerous to let them tear down this door, son." Clint patted him on the head. "And trust me, it will take more than this to stop me from being with you."
"You are crazy, dad. I won't let you do this!"
Marie got up and pulled Zack closer to herself. "Shh, daddy's got this, honey. You know he is strong enough to do this."
Zack's face was turning red from suppressing tears, he bit his lip. Marie hugged him tightly, even tighter than before.
The screw fell off one of the door-hinges. Clint took a deep breath. "Marie, the stalls. Now," he said quietly.
Marie nodded and rose to her feet. Before walking up to the stall she looked at her husband and said, "If you dare to die out there, I swear, I'm gonna be pissed off."
Clint just smiled.
###
Lisa was shaking her head, her eyes still set grimly on the washed down wasteland ahead. "I wish I never had a family. I wish I never wished for a family. What's the point of loving someone if you are only gonna lose them in the end?"
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