Arjun's POV

I was walking down the stairs, tying my watch on my wrist and my eyes fell on a man about my height standing in the hall with his back facing me. He had a strong built like mine that I could make out. Who the fuck was it?!

As I neared him, he turned towards me, revealing his face, and I stumbled backwards as if I saw a ghost for the first time in my life. My hands and feet started to shiver and my heart was beating like a drum in my chest.

Father! This is a dream! I am dreaming! He is dead. I lit his pyre myself. This can't be true.

"Hello, Son." He addressed me formally the way he used to, looking at me with his pitch dark eyes that could make me piss in my pants when I was a kid.

I looked up at him with fear," You...are...dead."

"Am I?! I believe life and death are two sides of the same coin. I am alive in you, inside you and through you. You are my son."

"Son?! Son that you terrorized when he was just four years old! Son that you had beaten up till he puked blood! Son that you tried to burn in your anger! Son that you kept locked in dungeon for three days without food and water! Need I say more, Father?!"

"I did it for your own good. I was trying to discipline you. I love you, Arjun, you are my son, the only person I ever loved."

"Love?! This word feels like a cuss from your mouth, Father."

"I think you have understood a new definition of love from your new slut."

"Wife. She is not a slut. Dare you say that word again!" I threatened him.

"She is not good for you. You have changed in to a weak man who kisses the ground your wife walks on."

"Still far better than the man who use to beat his wife day and night and fucked a different whore every single day in front of his wife!"

He smiled crudely,"Men are entitled to this behavior."

"Father, I have spend whole my life trying not to be you and nothing you say or do is going to change my mind about what kind of man you were especially what kind of a shitty father you were."

"Son, let bygones be bygones, I am here to talk about you not about me. She is no good for you, you deserve far better than her. Can't you see it, she is corrupting your mind with her sweet words?! Remember nothing last forever." He replied sardonically.

"Our love will, Father. If you had loved mother even quarter inch of how much I love Radhika, she would have been alive today and we all would have been together. You ruined our family! You ruined my entire childhood...."

He cuts me off,"I was doing my best for you but you are an ungrateful fucker!"

"You did what was best for you, Father. You didn't want me because I was your child, you wanted me because I was a male child, you wanted me because you wanted an heir and you didn't wanted anyone to challenge your legacy. Had I been a girl, you wouldn't have even given me a chance to live!"

"When you were younger, much younger, you didn't even had the courage to look me in the eye let alone raise your voice in front me. God! I loved the fear in your eyes. I loved how you shivered like a leaf when I use to be in the same room. You have changed, Son and I think that slut of yours is to be blamed for...."

I smashed his face as hard as I could," Don't ever call her a slut."

Instead of hitting me back, he summoned someone," Bring her in, its time I teach him a lesson for life."

A man dragged Radhika by her hair, and my heart was wounded by her cries as she screamed for help and tried to reach out to me. I was filled with mad fury as I charged towards that asshole but I stopped dead in my tracks when Father took Radhika from that man," For her, you raised your hand on me?! I am your fucking father! The man who is the reason for your existence. I will kill her, Arjun! No one should come between you and me. No one!"

He pushed her on a glass table and my heart stopped beating for a minute! She fell on her stomach, screaming in horror. Her eyes were open but lifeless, and when I tried to hold her hand, it felt limp in my hand. I touched her bloodied stomach where our baby was growing, and all I felt was blood on my fingers.

" Radhika....wake...up....wake...up..." I screamed at her, patting her cheek.

"She is dead." The bastard laughed.

"No! Radhika....wake...up....please....please"

I begged her, willed her to wake up but my pleas and cries fell on the deaf ears. She didn't wake up, she kept staring at me with her lifeless brown eyes.

"You...can't...die..baby..." I kept repeating over and over again, holding her lifeless body in my arms.

""Arjun, wake up, wake up...."

My eyes snapped open to Radhika who was trying to wake me up. What the fuck.
I was in tears, my heart had given up, I had broken into cold sweat. I held her face, touching her to assure myself that she was real.

" Are you okay?! He pushed you.....blood.
The....baby....Oh...God....you...were..dead."

She pulled me into a tight hug," Everything is fine. I am fine, the baby is fine."

I pulled back, crying my eyes out. 

"He....tried....to...kill...you...I....couldn't....do....anything."

"Who?!" She asked me.

"Father." I managed to say as I cried helplessly.

She pulled me to herself, pushing my face into her blossom, wrapping her arms around me tightly. I hugged her back as tightly as I could.

"It's okay, I am okay please calm down."

"It was just a dream, please at least tell me something now." She begged me.

" I saw him, he said I love you and he said nothing last forever. I hit him when he called you a slut and he killed you...were...dead.." I wept holding my face in my hands," I...kept...waking..you...up..my....baby...was...dead.."

She lifted my face up," Its okay, it was a dream. I am alive." She took my hand and placed it on her baby bump," Your baby is also alive, feel it"

Fresh tears welled in my eyes as my grip on her baby bump tightened,"Radhika, he was a bastard."

She touched my cheek wiping the tears that were escaping my eyes," Yet you loved him and wanted him to love you back like any father would love his child."

"How could he do this to his own child?! His own flesh and blood! Radhika, the things he did to me and Mamma, are so ghastly and they have given me nightmares throughout my life." I say, sniffling.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I dreamed about Father killing Radhika! What triggered this dream?!

"What he did Arjun?! Please tell me at least now don't hide things from me." She asked me.

Should I tell her?! Should I share with her a part of me I haven't shared with anyone?! Can I trust her?! What kind of a question is that?! Of course I can trust her it's just that I don't like to visit that part of my life.

""It was my father." I started in a feeble tone that I was surprised it was mine. Even years after his death, Father was the only one who could make me feel fear.

I looked down at my knotted fingers, trying to sought courage to talk about it. As if she understood my inner turmoil, she raised my chin with her hand and held my hand with her other hand.

" Tell me, Arjun." She said softly but firmly.

I looked at her, and my fear hit me hard. She was dead in my arms and she wouldn't wake up even when I screamed my lungs out. This dream shook me from inside and took me back to the darkest era of my life when I lost Mamma. Fuck! I was shit scared.

I pulled her closer swiftly, placing my head on her lap, wrapping my hands around her waist tightly. She is real. Alive. My baby is alive. I rest my face against her baby bump and closed my eyes heaving a sign of relief. She weaved her fingers inside my hair, carressing them. I have to tell her.

"I never thought I will talk about this to anyone but then I don't want to hide it from you anymore, you are the most precious thing to me and you are everything I never thought I could have."  I say with utmost honesty.

I love her so much. I know Father is dead and he cannot come back from his grave to haunt me but fuck, my heart stopped beating!

I smiled against her stomach when she leaned down and kissed my head.

I looked up at her,"I still remember everything, Radhika everything I wish I could just wipe out from my memory. You say I don't forget anything how I wish I could but I don't forget anything. I try and try and try to move on, not think about what happened but I fail everytime. Why is it so hard for me?!"

Flashback

"Ma, where are you?! Ma, look what I made for you?!" Little Arjun looked around for his mother.

"Ma, are you in there?!" He asked as he pushed open the door of a room.

Aaaaaaaaaaaa!

The heart of a five year old boy couldn't take the sight in front of him. His mother was on the floor, all messy and dishevelled and his father was standing proud with a whip in his hand! Her injuries were raw, cut deep! Her hand had ugly welts and drop of blood was oozing out of her lower lips. She looked messed up on the whole!

"Arjun, get out!" He shivered like a leaf as his father screamed, pointing towards the door.

"Arjun, darling go play in your room." He heard his mother's weak voice.

Arjun ran towards her and hugged her tightly," Ma, this." He touched her cheek which had ugly fingermarks and she winced in pain.

"Its nothing, baby go to your room."

"Arjun, didn't you hear what I said?! I said go to your room!"

He looked at his father timidly and his gaze stuck on the whip in his father's hand. He was petrified and he probably would have even peed in his pants of which he had no knowledge of.

"Ma, I am scared." He said hiding his face in the crook of her neck.

"Arjun, come here, come to daddy." His father spoke to him in an endearing tone, something which was only reserved for Arjun.

The little boy had no courage to say a 'No' but he did shook his head to make his stand clear!

"Arjun, I said come here or else.."

"Arnav, please he is scared please not him." Martha begged.

Before he knew, he was jerked out of his mother's arms harshly and made to stand in front of his father.

With a swift moment he jerked Arjun closer scaring the child to the hell and held his little arms tightly," When your father calls you or tells you to do something then you will do it, do you understand?!" Arnav asked gritting his teeth.

Arjun looked at him with deep fear as tears formed in his eyes and the next minute, he was full on crying loudly!

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ARJUN?!" Arnav repeated as he gripped Arjun's arms more tighter making Arjun shriek in pain.

"Arnav, please he is a child please can't you see you are hurting him?!" Martha sought courage and spoke.

"You are not allowed to talk in between me and my son, he is my son and I will talk to him any fucking way I want."

"Ma.ma...Ma..ma." Arjun wailed tilting his head towards his mom to get him out of here but the little bud couldn't understand that she was as helpless as him.

From somewhere the little boy gathered courage and pushed or tried to push his father away with his little hands but he was after all only five year old. What he could have ever done to a fully grown man?!

"You dared to push me! Day by day you are becoming like your sorry mother and I will not let that happen, Never!" He pushed the little boy away not with force but not gently either and as a result, Arjun fell over the tiny glass pieces of the flower pot his father had smashed against the wall some time ago! Luckily he fell over just two of them and they pierced into his leg and his one hand, for a second the boy did not understand but when the pain hit him hard, he couldn't bear it, he started crying as blood dripped out of the injured places.

"Arnav! Arjun, show me baby come to mommy." Martha said as she scooted closer to her boy.

Arnav was so mad at that moment that his anger had even blindfolded his love for his son who he loved the most. He stormed out of the room without even looking at the child who at such a tender age was cut by glass!

As I opened my eyes and tears came back in them with full force,"Radhika...I...was...just...five." I said in a cracked voice and she pushed my face inside her chest more as she too cried with me.

As I cried another memory raised its ugly head in my mind!

Flashback

Arjun had turned eight year old today and his father had gifted him a cycle which he had been asking for since last one month and finally his dad had rewarded him handsomely.

As his mother was feeding him cake with her own hands, Arjun's eyes moved around the whole room and stopped on a woman who entered inside with his father with her her hand wrapped around his father's bicep.

"And you must be Arjun, I must say this Arnav, he looks so much like you that its spooky how much a child could look like his father." That woman said as she smiled at Arjun," Happy birthday Arjun, I have something for you." She pulled out a gift wrapped box from her purse," I am sure you are going to love it."

"Arjun, lets go its time for bed." His mother said as she held his hand.

"Hey! I am talking to him so would you please mind keeping your mouth shut?!" That woman glared at his mother and Arjun would not stand and watch her trying to scare off his mother.

He glared at the woman," I don't want any gift from an impolite person like you. How dare you speak to my mother like that?!"

"Arnav, did you not teach him how to talk to his elders?!" That woman said in a fuming tone.

"Arjun, is this the way you talk?! Apologise now, I said say sorry to Shanaya now!"

Even after hearing his father's frightening voice, Arjun didn't even had tiny bit of guilt in his eyes. He was not going to say sorry for standing up for his mother. Never!

"Dad, I don't like this aunty please make her go away." Arjun looked at his father with hopeful eyes.

"Shanaya is going to stay with us henceforth and if I see you disrespecting her in any way henceforth then you will have it from me!" Arnav commanded.

Arjun frowned,"Why is she staying with us and why is she going to stay with you in your room?! When I asked you why doesn't ma sleep in your room with you like my friends parents sleep in one room, you didn't answer me in fact you slapped me then why...."

Arnav break in on him,"Arjun, the reason your mother is not sleeping with me is because she is a mere slave in this house and Shanaya is my girlfriend that is why she is going to stay in this house with me in my room."

"But dad..."

"Enough! I answered you today because you would have irritated me again by asking me again. Now listen to your mother and go and sleep in your room." Arnav stated.

"Hey you! Go back! You are not welcome here! This is my mother's house not yours go away, just get lost!" Arjun shouted as he threw her gift at her and it hit her right under her eye!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Shanaya winced in pain.

"Arjun! How dare you?!" Arnav said as his fingermarks printed on Arjun's cheeks next minute by the way he harshly slapped him.

"Arnav! Not Arjun please not Arjun, he is still a child please I beg you." Arjun felt so angry when his mother fell at his father's feet.

My ears pained as I still could hear my mother's cries of plea and the excreable sight of my mother begging my father and that bloody bitch to spare me  The more I remembered, the more I cried and he knew it from inside that I had held back so much over the years, never let this pain out so he could always be in control of his emotions and his life.

"Arjun, please don't cry, its over now." Radhika said as she carressed my hair.

How I wish I could believe you my sweet, sweet girl who is crying along with me, for me.

I looked at her with puffy eyes," Radhika, you asked me once about my scar, do you want to know how I got it?!"

She nodded frantically as she wiped my tears away, I rested my head on her lap again and signed, I knew it was easier said than done because for years I had not talked about it to anyone, just had that memory buried  so deep that a strong wall blocked it from raising its ugly head again. Today I had to break that wall on my own and I was unsure if I really wanted to do this and moreover if I am ready to feel that pain again which changed my life forever.

Flashback

Arjun towered over his mother at 5'9 with his hands behind his back. He was already the tallest boy in his class and for a boy who studied in 9th grade, he was called an eiffel tower.

"Ma, please don't fatten me up." He protested but as he opened his mouth a big spoonful of dahi shakkar was thrusted in it.

"Ma, you cheated, you said only little." He complained.

"Arjun, don't tempt me to empty this whole bowl in your mouth." His mother threatened.

He whined making her laugh,"Nothing doing its for your good luck baccha."

"So you think if I didn't go to net practice and work my butt off in the field but just having dahi shakkar will make me win?! Wow! What a method! Why didn't you shared this with me before?!" He asked her dramatically.

"Shut up! Its for your good luck and I know what you are trying to do."

"You know right, I don't believe in all this." He stated.

"Of course I am just so glad you showed your face to God today to pray along with me." She taunted in a sarcastic tone.

"Mother India won't slide off one opportunity to taunt. Now give me your blessings." He touched her feet.

"Of course my blessings are always with you, don't hurt yourself. I saw how rough this boys are on the field."

"Ma, you should see me playing then if you think others are rough. My coach says Football is a rough sport and only one thing should be on my mind is that I have to win. Anyways my shelf is full of tropies, I want a new one or where I am going to keep today's trophy and tomorrow's quiz competion one?!"

"Arjun, so you have already decided you will win?! Such arrogance is not good."

"Ma, you know I won't lose as I hate losing like anything and Dad will kill me if I don't bring today's trophy home."

His mother grimaced at the mention of his dad," So is he going to be there to watch your game?!"

"I don't know, He promised to teach me to ride a bike after I win this trophy." He grinned goofily.

"Ride a bike! Arjun, you are still in school and how on earth can you think of riding a bike?!" His mother asked in a shocked tone.

"Just like that. Oh, come on Ma I am stronger than you think and I love bikes." He said with flare.

"Well we will see about that later now stop faffing around and get rolling its already ten and your match starts at..." Her sentence left incomplete as he thrusted a big spoonful of dahi shakkar in her mouth. He kissed her cheek," Bye sweets, I love you, will see you in the evening."

Arjun came back home after almost four hours and there was a new flare in his every step as he walked with his trophy in his hand," Ma, where are you?! Ma, see what I brought for you?! Oh ma, there is so much I have to tell you, you know our principal said," Arjun, is an all rounder that too on the stage! You know the crowd was going crazy when we won, all I could hear was my name being screamed from all sides. You know I didn't know they loved me so much back in school. Ma where are you?!" He blabbered all the way as he knew she could hear him as his voice was too loud. He saw in her room but it was empty so he decided to check in his father's room if she was inside cleaing the room.

he pushed open the door of the room, and the next second he wished he had not! His father was burning his mother's feet with a hot burning cane!

"Dad, what the hell are you doing?! Ma, are you okay?! Ma, open your eyes speak to me ma, speak to me please say something." He cried as he tapped her cheek.

She was beaten up so badly that she was half unconcious! Her hands and legs were covered with red marks and he could tell his father had used his
whip on her but to burn her feet was something he couldn't bear. All this years he kept protesting but today he will stand between his father and protect his mother come what may!

"Arjun, just leave!" His father ordered in a drunk voice.

He smelled of whiskey and cigar, Arjun knew the smell as even he had tried those with his friends though he was underage.

"No you asshole, I am not going anywhere!" As he completed his sentence he staggered as he was punched on his face," How dare you?! You don't know how to talk to your father."

"And you don't know how to treat your wife!" Arjun said as he threw his trophy away in anger.

"Just like her! You are just like her! Fucking piece of shit! Why did I even thought you will be like me?! You just have my face but you..."

Arjun cuts him off,"You are right! I am not like you and I don't want to be you."

"I will show you who I really am today. You need to be taught a lesson, I am your father and you do as I say!" He barked as he held Arjun's arms and clasped them behind his back so he won't be able to fight him off.

He dragged him to the large table and pushed his face down on it. For the next five minutes of his life, Arjun felt pain, real heartwrenching pain at the tender age of 14! He screamed, screamed and screamed but nothing fell on the deaf ears.

"He burned my back, Radhika!" I broke down as I hugged her baby bump tightly. Radhika's hands that were carressing my hair stopped as she froze at my revealation. Finally she gathered her wits and hugged me as tight as she could," Its over, Arjun please please don't cry, I can't see you like this."

"What was my fault?! Why did he do that to me?!" I asked her in a cracked voice.

"He was really a shitty father to hurt his own child that too in such a way." Radhika condemned as she looked me in the eye.

I pressed my cheek against her baby bump as I wrapped my arms around her baby bump protectively," I will never be like him, my baby I will never hurt you neither will I let anyone hurt you..." I choked on my words as I cried against her belly.

I think I will kill anyone with bare hands if they ever try to hurt my baby and I grimace thinking how my father allowed one of his whores to slap me! Me! His own child who should have come first for him.

I cannot even think about exposing my child to strangers and he is not even born yet. I am so much in love with this child that it just makes me more and more resentful about Father. How could he not see the pain he caused me?! How did he not melt when he saw tears in my eyes?!

I am so deeply connected to this child, my own baby, that I feel myself getting more and more possessive and protective about him or her. At this point gender doesn't matter, boy or girl, I don't care. When I think of the moments when I needed my father to comfort me, wipe my tears, assure me that he loves me and he is there for me, he was busy fucking his whore!

I carressed her baby bump, leaned in and placed a kiss over it. Closing my eyes, I felt her swollen belly with my hand, cherishing the feeling in my heart. Fuck. This is insane. I think you can never love anyone as much as you love your own child. Of course I love Radhika more than anything or anyone but the love between a man and woman is different and has its own place in your heart.

I still remember the time I got to know I am going to be a father and how overjoyed I was. I felt as if I got the best news of my life. The first time I placed my hand on her stomach which was flat back then but I observed how it grew in size by each passing day and my baby was growing inside her. That feeling alone was and will always be the best feeling in this world.

I love sex and I love it rough most of the times of course I do enjoy making love to her as well but I enjoy a hard fuck but I found myself getting more and more gentle with her with each passing day in these five months.

I kissed her stomach again.

You will have me, no matter what, even when you will grow up and might not need your father as much as you needed him when you were a child, I will still be there for you, always and forever until I take my last breath. I love you, my baby, you will have something I never had, a family, a home to come back to whenever you are upset or hurt.

You will have your mother and forever, you will not spend your days and night crying for her, pining for her. You will have a perfect family, with everyone trying their best for you. I promise you, baby, you will be loved unconditionally and you will have everything your father never had. No one will hurt a hair on your head, no one! That's your father's promise.

To be continued....