I rolled over in my bed and glanced at the clock. It was nearly one in the afternoon. After our late night out, I came straight home and crawled into bed. I even put on my flannel pajamas. After all, it was Christmas. I was usually sad this time of year because I didn't have any family. My parents passed away when I was little and I was raised by my grandparents. Two years ago, they both passed away six months apart. What are the chances of that? But this Christmas was a different story all together.

I glanced at my dresser and saw the picture of Adam and I when we went to Europe. We were kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower. How did two people so in love get from that point to this one? It's hard to think that I was the girl in that picture once upon a time. Irrevocably happy and in love. Now, heartbroken and alone. Life truly was a mystery.

I thought about my choice last night to not sleep with that frat guy. I didn't even remember his name. Even though most of the night was a blur, I remembered stumbling into the women's bathroom with him...and him sitting me on the counter. I remember kissing. A lot. Then, as soon as he tried to put his hand under my dress, I told him I couldn't do it and I came home.

When I emerged from the bathroom, I saw Cam leaving with the bartender that flirted with her when we had first arrived. She texted me early this morning to let me know she got home safely. It was a thing we did to keep an eye on each other. One time, I forgot to text her and she came over to my apartment. She totally walked in on me and Adam going at it. Oops. I still loved her though. I still loved Adam, too. I didn't want to, but that's why I couldn't sleep with that guy. After all, I spent over two years of my life with him. 

My cell phone chimed and I knew who it was.

Cam: Stop wallowing.

Me: I'm not wallowing.

Cam: You're still in bed and in your flannels. STOP wallowing.

Did this girl have to know everything about me?

Me: I hate you.

Cam: Pleaseeeeeee. You love me. Now, get out of the flannels. It's Christmas.

I didn't care what day it was, I was not leaving my apartment. I didn't want to be around strangers today. I didn't even want to be around my friends and have to answer their questions when I explained why Adam wasn't with me. I knee I was going to have to deal with them sooner or later; I just preferred later. Or never, if I got my way. But that's not how the world worked. Not for me anyway.

Me: Fine. I'll change and shower, like a real human. But I'm not leaving.

Cam: I'll be there in thirty minutes with chocolate, wine, and slasher movies :)

I couldn't help but smile at the text. I really did love my best friend.

Me: Sounds good xoxo

As promised, I crawled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. After showering and washing my hair, I put on comfy pants and a tank top. Suitable for company, but not for the public. It was the perfect outfit for my situation.

I walked to the kitchen in my one bedroom apartment. Adam and I moved in here eight months ago. Now, I needed to figure out how I was going to finish off this lease by myself. Waitressing was decent money, but it didn't cover all of the bills. Oh, well. That was next week's problem. Today, I was going to stay-in, probably cry a lot, and eat my weight in Ben & Jerry's. That was the standard protocol right? 

There was a knock at my door and I didn't need to ask who it was. "Coming, Cam!" I skipped over to the door and opened it for her. She came inside with her hands full and placed the snacks and DVD's on the table. 

I shut the door behind her and walked over to see what she brought. As promised, she brought plenty of chocolate, and enough bad horror movies to last us a week. "You know I have Netflix, right? And Hulu...and Vudu. Pretty much every video platform." 

She went to the fridge and put the wine on the shelf. "Yes, but we need to do it old school. You know, like when we were teens."

I picked up the worn copy of Friday the 13th and thought back to one such occasion.

"Hey, Cam," I said into my cellphone. 

Cam's voice was shaky and distraught. Clearly something terrible happened and she had been crying. "Jason Mitchell cheated on me with that skank Mindy Thompson!"

My mouth dropped as my eyes got wide. "What! How? When?" 

"It doesn't matter," she huffed. I could tell she was pacing in her bedroom. "I'm at home. Can you sleep over tonight?" 

My chest ached for her. Even thought she and Jason had only been dating for a few months, she was in love with him. At least, she loved him as much as she was able to at the age of fifteen.

I grabbed my bag and packed all the usual necessities. Snacks, clothes, CD's, and some movies. I ran downstairs and asked my grandparents if I could stay at her house and they said yes. As always. 

Camille lived close enough that I could ride my bike to her house. The usual ride was only about seven minutes. Tonight, however, I made a pitstop at the gas station on the corner. When I finally got to her house, she was sitting outside the door on her front steps.

I dismounted my bike and walked towards her. Her eyes were red-rimmed and tired from the countless hours of crying. Her hair was a mess and her clothes didn't match. Poor thing. When Camille was distraught...everything in her world fell apart. 

Camille came rushing over and pulled me into a hug. If my hands weren't full, I would have happily returned it. "Thank you for coming! This is the worst day of my life." 

Coming from someone who lost both her parents, I knew this wasn't the worst day of her life. But I also knew that it was very real for her. "I know," I said as we pulled away from each other. "That's why I got these!" 

She gasped when she saw the strawberry/coke slushy I got from the gas station. It was our guilty pleasure and usually only had them when we were having bad days. Today definitely qualified. "You are the best best friend ever!" 

I laughed as we went into her house and headed for her room. "I'm you're only best friend." 

"That's not true!" she argues; sitting on her bed and taking the straw between her lips. 

"Oh, really?" I asked. "Who else puts up with your personality?"  She laid back on the bed as she tried to think of someone. "Well?" I urged. 

"Fine! You're the only one," she huffed as she sat up and pouted. "You're the only one, and I'm extremely grateful to have you in my life."  I started taking things out of my bag and she grabbed the DVD I knew she wanted to watch. "Oh! Let's watch Friday the 13th!" 

I laughed as I put the snacks on her bed and sat down next to her. As the movie started playing, she grabbed some chocolate and sat next to me. She rested her head on my shoulder and whispered, "I love you, Einstein."

I smiled at the nickname. No one knew my first name was Alberta. I hated it, so everyone called me Ally. Camille, of course knew the truth and has called me Einstein since we were little. Yes, as in Albert Einstein. Just like the nickname I had for her; the girl I knew who lived her life breaking as many rules as she could."I love you, too, Sin." 

"Hello? Earth to Ally!" 

My train of thought broke and I looked up at her. "Sorry. What did you ask me?"

She laughed as she closed the fridge and leaned against the counter. "I asked you how it was with the frat guy last night. I saw you sneak off with him and go to the bathroom." 

Oh, yes. The sex I didn't have because I panicked and was still hung up on the asshole who dumped me. "It was great. Definitely just what I needed." I turned away to grab a bag of chips from my pantry. I hoped she bought it because I really didn't want to--

"Liar!" 

Ugh. I sighed and closed my eyes before turning back to her. "I'm not lying, Cam."

She pointed an accusing finger at me. "You are so lying! Tell me the truth!"

I sat at my breakfast bar and my arms flailed. "Fine! I didn't sleep with him." 

"Well, duh," Cam laughed and grabbed some Doritos from the open bag on the counter. "Tell me what did happen." 

I brushed my hair back. "Okay, we were dancing and he started kissing my neck. Then he grabbed my hand and took me to the back."

I knew I had Cam's full attention. "And then?" she asked with excitement.

"He backed me up against the sink and sat me on top. Which was kind of hot, by the way." We both laughed at that. "We were kissing again and I was just so consumed." 

Cam grabbed another chip. "He was that good?" 

I cocked my head to the side. "No, he wasn't bad. It's just, I think I was consumed by that feeling." 

"Being horny?" 

"Very funny," I quipped. "No. I mean, that feeling you get when your world is spinning out of control. Where nothing exists but that moment and who you're with." 

She took a sip of her coffee. "So, that's what you felt with him? That sounds great!"

My frown deepened. "That's the thing, Cam. I didn't feel that. Not with him and not with Adam. At least, not lately." I shrugged. "Anyway, I left after that." 

Cam was quiet for a moment. "That's what you need to find then. Someone who makes you feel like that." 

Yeah, okay. I'll get right on that. "Maybe one day," I breathed before I changed the subject. "Now, tell me what happened with bartender guy." 

She smiled before she answered me. "The night was awesome. His name is Kyle, by the way." 

"And?" I prodded. Whenever she had a night like that, she always couldn't wait to tell me. 

"We went for coffee first. Then we went to his place." 

I motioned with my hands for her to continue. When she didn't, realization dawned on me. "Oh, my God. You didn't sleep with him did you?" 

She grabbed the snacks from the table and headed to the living room. "Let's watch this movie, 'kay?" 

I followed after her. "Oh, no you don't! This is a big deal." She sat on the couch and grabbed the remote. I stood in front of the TV to block her. "Sin, tell me!" 

She covered her hands with her face. "No, I didn't sleep with him." She dropped her hands. "He took me to his place and we...talked. For hours. I have no idea why!" 

"And then?" 

She met my stare with fear in her eyes. "Then we cuddled and I fell asleep."

I threw back my head and laughed. This was so incredibly not normal for Cam. She didn't date. She didn't believe in relationships. It just wasn't who she was. 

"It's not funny!" She whined. "What am I doing, Einstein? You have to help me. You're the smart one." 

I sobered as I fell beside her on the couch. "Yeah, right. If I was so smart, I wouldn't have gotten dumped by my fiancee the day before Christmas." 

Cam sat back on her knees and clapped her hands. "Okay, Ally. Today is not the day to get emotional over boy drama. We are going to binge on unhealthy snacks that we'll regret tomorrow, drink a shit-ton of wine, and watch movies. Deal?" 

"Deal," I replied.

Even though I agreed with everything she said, I still couldn't keep my mind from wandering to Adam. What was he doing right now? It was Christmas, so he was probably with his family. Cam pushed play on the movie and I let out a big sigh. Merry Christmas, Ally.