♫ story of another us - 5sos♫

"Jethro, no matter what happens, you have to listen to Dad. Don't make the same mistake that I did. Maybe... maybe if I just listened to him, my life wouldn't get this bad. Don't be like me, okay? You should protect our family. You should protect Mom. Be a good son."

My brother's words never left my mind. Growing up, I didn't just hold on to it, I lived by it. 

I did everything that a good son would. I always obeyed Mom and Dad's orders. I focused on my studies to achieve the highest grade possible, and when Dad told me to play Basketball, I practiced hard to be the best.

I didn't just want to protect my family, I wanted to protect my friends as well. They had no clue about the dangers of their habits, and so I did everything that I could to prevent them from suffering the same fate as my brother.

I played by the rules, they called me boring, and I didn't care. At the end of the day, as long as we're okay, nothing really matters. To me, as long as my parents and friends are happy, I'm living a good life. Why make it complicated? 

One day, I found myself driving on a dark stretch of road. I don't remember much about that night, but I remember trying to step on the breaks when I saw that I was about to crash into a pile of metal bars behind a pick-up truck.

"Jethro, sabing gumising ka!"

Isang hindi pamilyar na boses ang paulit-ulit na tumatawag sa pangalan ko. Nagising ako at wala akong ibang naramdaman kung 'di matinding takot at sakit. Hindi ako makahinga. Malabo ang pandinig at paningin ko, pero malinaw sa akin na mamamatay na ako.

Buong buhay ko, ngayon lang ako natakot nang ganito. Ayoko pang mamatay. 

"I'm still young. I don't want your death to haunt me in my sleep, kaya utang na loob, lumaban ka pa." 

Nalalasahan at naamoy ko ang dugo. Nanlalamig ang buo kong katawan. May nararamdaman akong umaagos mula sa leeg ko. Gusto kong sumigaw dahil sa sobrang sakit pero wala akong lakas na gumalaw. Ni hindi ako makahinga nang maayos. Parang naglalagablab ang baga ko. 

Paulit-ulit akong napasinghap kasabay ng pagluha ko. 

"N-natabingi na ang salamin mo oh?" Naramdaman kong may nagsuot sa akin ng salamin ko. Napapikit ako at huminga nang malalim, natatakot na baka ito na ang huli.

When I opened my eyes again, that's when I saw you. 

Your warm smile and lovely eyes. You looked at me like I am the most precious thing in this world. 

"May kaunting crack ang salamin mo, pagawa ka na ng bago pagkatapos nito. Siguro naman hindi masyadong malabo ang mga mata mo kasi nakakapag-basketball ka pa?" Nanatili kang nakangiti kahit pa nakikita ko na ang luhang namumuo sa mga mata mo. 

Napakalamig at mas lalo akong nanghihina sa bawat sandali. Takot na takot pa rin ako pero nanatili akong nakatitig sa'yo.

"You'll be alright, Jethro." You held my hand tightly. Your hand was trembling, but your touch felt so warm. Somehow, I didn't feel cold anymore. Somehow, you lessened the pain coursing through my veins.

"I... I don't want to die..." I gasped as blood trickled out my mouth and down my chin.

"You won't." You sounded so sure as you spoke with a smile, but I can see that you're scared just like me.

"Next year, on this same day, you will look back at this moment and smile knowing you survived this. You will continue cutting beef for us while ignoring all the stupid things...."

You kept talking but I continued to stare at your comforting eyes.

Your gentle voice and warm smile became my sliver of hope. In my darkest moment, you were my light. I thought... if I end up dying, at least I'm holding your hand. At least, I'm not alone.

I gasped when you suddenly tried to let go of my hand. 

"D-Don't leave..." Don't let go of my hand. Keep my heart warm with your voice and smile. If I'm going to die, I want your face to be the last thing I see.

"I won't." You smiled reassuringly as you held my hand again. If only I had the strength to hold you back.

You kept your word. You stayed with me even if you were scared. You held my bloody hand as they struggled to get me out of that wreck. Even in the ambulance, you stayed by my side.

Tragedies are supposed to be cold and sad, but you made it warm and bearable. 

I woke up in a hospital bed. Mom cried, thanking the heavens for saving my life. Dad was furious, concerned at the rumors that would circulate about the incident. They asked me about what happened, but instead of answering, I chose to ask where you were.

I thought you wouldn't leave, but you did, but then again, who am I to complain? What you did for me was enough. If only I could've asked for your name. I wanted to thank you personally.

"Ang matinong damo, matagal mamatay — dapat ganyan na ang kasabihan," biro sa akin ni Tres nang pumasok siya sa pribado kong silid at ineksamina ang kalagayan ko. "You scared us for a minute there, buddy. Pati si Reika, nakapasok sa simbahan para lang ipagdasal ka."

I smiled. The thought of my friends worrying about me felt comforting. But not as comforting as your warm smile and lovely eyes.

"Hihingi ako ng pabor," hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa. "Pwede mo bang alamin kung sino ang babaeng kasama na nagdala sa akin dito. Mahaba ang buhok--"

"Si Silver ba?" Natawa siya habang inaayos ang swero ko.

"Silver?" Nakunot ang noo ko. "Iyong kaibigan ni Reika?"

Hindi ko man maalala ang mukha, naalala ko namang may kaibigan si Reika na Silver ang pangalan. Iyon marahil ang dahilan kung bakit alam niya ang pangalan ko. Akala ko dahil iyon sa nakita niya ang lisensya ko — Ito ang tumakbo sa isip ko.

Ginugol ko ang mga sumunod na linggo para magpalakas. May bali ako sa kamay at paa, kinailangan kong magsuot ng saklay. 

Mom and Dad had a celebration for me the moment I was discharged from the hospital. I hated parties centered on me, but for the first time, I looked forward to it, thinking you will attend, and I can finally thank you in person. But you didn't show up.

Alam kong nakatira kayo ni Reika sa iisang bahay pero hindi kita magawang puntahan doon lalo't tiyak kong iba ang iisipin ni Reika. Nalaman ko mula kay Apollo na nagta-trabaho ka sa Romolus Rogue kaya naisipan kong tumakas mula sa bahay para puntahan ka.

"Jethro?!" manghang bulalas ni Tres nang makasalubong ko siya. Nagbaba siya ng tingin sa saklay ko, halatang gulat na nagawa kong makapunta sa ganitong kalagayan.

Bago pa man siya makapagtanong, nagsabi na ako ng totoo. "I was bored and I remembered that I still haven't thanked Silver in person."

"Ah..." Tumawa si Tres at inakbayan ako. "Tara, doon muna tayo. Medyo busy pa si Silver kaya sabayan mo na lang akong maghintay sa kanya."

I knew right then that he likes you. I thought it was a good thing since he's a good person and he can surely protect you from the evils of Romolus Rogue. 

"Dadaan-daanan mo lang kami na parang wala tayong pinagsamahan?" Nagbiro si Tres nang sa wakas ay natapos ka na sa trabaho mo. 

It was the first time that I saw you after the accident. I guess it was also the first time that I looked at you properly. 

"Bakit?" You walked towards us with a cold expression. You didn't smile. You didn't even look at me. What happened to the girl with a warm smile and lovely eyes? 

"Gusto ka raw kasi kausapin nito." 

Finally, you looked at me. But it was nowhere near the way you looked at me that night. "What's it about?" you asked.

Did I scare you, or did my presence make you feel uncomfortable? Maybe I made you feel weird that night. After all, I kept begging you not to leave me alone when we were basically strangers to each other.

"I-I just want to thank you. I don't remember anything from the accident, but they told me that you were there to help me," I chose to say those words so you will no longer feel weird about it. Let's just forget that we held hands for that long if that's what makes you feel comfortable.

Tumango ka lang. "No problem. Glad to help."

Tress offered to drive you home. I sat on the passenger seat while you were on the backseat. The three of us are together in the same car but you were only talking to him.

I tried to focus my attention by the window, but the slanted side mirror allowed me to see you. Would you have thought I was a creep if you noticed me looking at you?

"Kailan daw pala ang balik nila Reika?"

"Sa makalawa pa."

"Ba't kasi hindi ka sumama sa kanila?"

"I have work and classes."

"Jethro, baka naman kay gusto kang iambag sa usapan?"

Shit.

"Mukhang uulan," sabi ko na lang.

After dropping you off, Tres had to run an errand at a 7-eleven. He asked me to check on you using his phone as he had to rush inside.

I sighed and fumbled on his unlocked phone.

Tres:

All good? - Tres

Silver:

Don't text and drive

Tres:

No

Stopping by a 7-11

Silver:

Get some rest

I paused when I read your message. You sure were pretty caring.

Tres:

May ipapabili ka?

Silver:

No need

im trying to sleep

Tres:

can't sleep?

Silver:

hindi akosanay na wala si reika

don't tell her

I smiled at her response. Reika had been through a lot at a young age. It's great that she finally found a friend in Silver.

Tres:

She's lucky to have u

Silver:

It's the other way around

Tres:

Get some rest

Good night

Silver:

Btw, di pa ako tapos sa bio book mo

di mo pa gagamitin 'di ba?

That was when I realized that the entire time, you thought you were talking to him.

The moment I got home, I thought about you being alone. If my memory serves right, I remember Reika complaining about eating instant food all the time which meant that both of you don't know how to cook.

I decided to ask Apollo to deliver food for you from time to time. It was the least I could do to repay you for saving my life.

I spent the next day reading my books when all of a sudden Sawyer arrived. It turns out, Mom called him to get me out of the house to get some fresh air, and Haji needed a time out as well after flunking an exam. 

We gathered together at the restaurant but since I was injured, Reika and Magno were suffering from severe sunburns, and Haji was feeling gloomy, you and Sawyer ended up doing most of the work. Sawyer grilled the meat while you had to cut them with a blunt scissor. 

"Hingi..." Magno called out to you weakly. Hindi ka nagdalawang-isip at sinubuan mo siya, pati si Reika. They started to take advantage but you continued to do things for them. Kahit ako, tinulungan mo rin.

 I guess caring is in your nature; the reason why you helped me that night.

"Hala marunong ka palang ngumiti?!" Haji suddenly exclaimed. My gaze automatically went to you.

I saw you smiling, close to laughing. Whatever you were thinking must be pretty funny. However, your smile disappeared the moment you realized that we were all looking at you.

Your smile reminded me of the night you saved me. How you became my sliver of hope. My light.

Pakiramdam ko ay may nakatingin sa akin kaya naman lumingon ako at nakita kong nakangisi sa akin si Reika. Saka ko lang napagtanto na nakangiti pala ako. Bago ko pa man maalis ang ngiti sa mukha ko, umiwas na ng tingin si Reika. 

I was scared then that she'd get the wrong idea. She had a habit of teasing us which seemed to make you feel uncomfortable.

The next day, I received a message from her, asking us to meet on my favorite line of eatery. She knows because I took them there before. Confused, I still decided to go and wait for her, until I saw you arrive. I tried to act like I didn't see you, but our eyes still met. You nodded, so I nodded back. 

Soon, we found our common ground at being the only sensible and mature ones in the group. We often exchange glances every time they act stupid. I found comfort at the thought that finally, there's someone I can relate to.

"What are you doing?" you asked me when you notice me recording their KTV performance.

"So they'd know how stupid they are when they're older." I shrugged.

Being the only sane ones in the group, we had the honor to laugh at their crazy antics. I used to suffer secondhand-embarrassment all alone, but with you, I found another person to cringe with. And back then, I used to be the only one who watches over them, now there's two of us.

Belonging to the same group of friends bridged me closer to you. It allowed me to see the different sides of you. I found it funny how they kept calling you cold and ghostly when you're clearly more than that. A tip of the iceberg.

"Man, she's fine. Silver can handle herself," natatawang paniniguro ni Apollo habang nakaupo siya sa sahig at nakikipaglaro sa aso ni Denver.

Umiling ako. "She has to stop working there. Alam mo kung ilang waitress na ang nagre-resign dahil sa kabastusan ng mga tao doon. Find her a safer job somewhere, preferably where you're working as well."

"Jethro, believe it or not, Cohen is a good employer--teka, 'yong labada ko!" Biglang tumakbo si Apollo at sumunod naman agad sa kanya ang aso.

"Ingay." Iritadong bumaba si Denver mula sa hagdan. "'Wag kang makikialam sa buhay ng iba. If you're that worried, then keep an eye on her yourself," aniya nang hindi man lang ako tinatapunan ng tingin.

Denver had a point, so after getting rid of my casts. I started hanging out at the club. It all started with trying to protect you until I found myself vying for your attention. The more I got to know you, the more I grew to like you.

"You like her, huh?" Cohen saw right through me and confronted me.  "I mean, why else would you hang out at the place that annoys you the most?"

"She's a good friend." I nodded. You've always been good to us, even at Haji who always tested your patience.

"The question is, do you want to be just friends with her?" He grinned.

It was supposed to be an easy question. Only a yes or no. I've answered more difficult questions and equations correctly before, but at that time, I couldn't even think straight because I was overwhelmed at the thought of being more than just your friend. I wonder how it would feel to get your undivided attention, to be the person you care the most, to have you right next to me in good and bad days.

"My bro's finally becoming a human being." He laughed in amusement, clapping his hands slowly. Fuck you, Lorenzo Cohen.

"You're a piece of shit," iyon lang ang naisagot ko. Hindi ako pikon pero nang gabing 'yon, hibla na lang ang natitira kong pasensya para sa kanya.

Eyes cold as Snow, Cherry Lips, and character like no other — watching you from afar became my favorite habit. I told myself it was to protect you, the same way I protect my friends, but I knew at the back of my mind, I don't want to be just friends with you. 

"Jethro, I know that you're grateful because everyone told you that I saved you, but the truth is I didn't. Also, my injury was an accident. Hindi mo 'yon sinasadya kaya hindi mo na kailangang bumawi. It's okay. Stop doing things for me and just go do your thing."

I wanted to tell you how wrong you were. It wasn't about being grateful or being guilty, it was because I like you. I never liked someone this much and it's frustrating because you like someone else. 

"Stop using Magno just to make Tres jealous." I'm getting jealous, too.

"Fuck you, Filimon." You didn't get angry when I gave you a black eye when you should've. This time, I guess I really made you angry. 

I waited for your anger to cool down and went to apologize the next day. "I'm sorry for what I said last night. I was out of line and--"

"Damn right you were out of line. I was there last night, trying to have fun, and there you were, accusing me of using someone for such petty reason. You know what? Learn to mind your own business. After all, you are Reika's friend and not mine."

Your last sentence haunted me. Yes, I didn't want to be just friends, but that wasn't what I meant. I'd rather be your friend than someone you hate.

"Why the hell are you here?" Denver asked when I barged in his house, seeking answers.

"You don't talk to anyone else so my secret will be safe with you." I gave him bags of dog treats as a bribe. I explained my situation and even if he looked annoyed, I know he still listened.

"Get back to the club, help her out in any way you could, and then just ask her to be your friend to clear the air. Talino mong tao pero ang bobo mo." 

A series of fortunate events allowed me to reach the middle of the bridge. The more I walked, the closer I got to you. But that's when I learned someone else removed the roadblocks for me.

"You really should be thanking me! You owe me bigtime, Filimon." Cohen laughed as he raised his glass of wine. "I didn't just give you the best dare I could think of, I got rid of your competition, too!"

I saw red and ended up punching one of the people I always wanted to protect. 

I always knew Tres liked you and that you felt the same. However, because I like you, you ended up getting hurt. You and Tres.

I wanted to tell you the truth but I got scared at the thought of you, hating me. I was already so close to you. I could already hold your hand whenever I want. You already know how I feel for you, and I could tell you feel the same way already. I was just waiting for your green light.

I grew up knowing what I always wanted. No shortcuts, no cheat codes. I'll get what I want, fair and square. However, I could no longer turn back. It's either have you or lose you. And you know the answer to that.

"Puchangama, don't make this any more awkward. Sinasagot na kita kaya tayo na. Tapos ang usapan."

You have no idea how happy I was to hear you say that. And when you told me that you love me, I was at my happiest. After losing the game, Dad berated me and said vile things no father should. I used to feel disheartened and ashamed whenever Dad does that but at that time, I was trying hard not to smile. Why should I be upset about losing some game when there's someone like you who loves me?

The bridge was as good as unbreakable. I finally reached you and you're finally holding me tight. Nothing could tear us apart.

"Son, I heard you're friends with a Villafranca? Her family can be a good asset to us. Keep her close," Dad said one day as we were having our dinner.

I should be glad that he likes you, but I started to worry that you'll hate the reason why. I know Dad. He only likes people he deems valuable. 

"I met her a couple of times. Great girl." Mom flashed me a knowing smile. At least Mom is different. "She should smile more though..." Mom sighed.

Why do they always nag us to smile more?

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Two years later, with you by my side, became the best days of my life. I've never felt anyone love me the way you do, and I've never loved someone the way I love you.

Whenever Dad calls me an utter disappointment, you're always there to make me feel otherwise. 

You are the best thing to ever happen to me, so I always made sure to protect you. I wanted us to live the best life possible. I thought bringing you into my world would make you safer and happier. Living by my brother's advice, I listened intently to Mom and Dad so I could never lose you the way I lost my brother. I thought I was doing it right, after all, I'm just trying to do what's best for you.

However, little did I know, my actions began to push you away. The further we drifted apart, the more our cracks appeared. 

"When I first came to Filimon Heights, all I wanted was freedom. I was so desperate to live my own life and achieve my dreams that I went against my parents' wishes, but when I fell in love with you, my world just revolved around you, so much that I let myself become someone that I don't like, just so I can be deemed worthy of you."

You cried right in front of me. You were in so much pain and it was all because of me.

"Akala ko sapat na 'yung mahal natin ang isa't isa, pero hindi eh. Sorry, hindi ko na talaga kaya. Mahal kita pero hindi ko kayang maging isang Filimon lalo na't pakiramdam ko, mag-isa lang akong pinaglalaban ang sarili ko."

I couldn't understand you at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I saw your pain.

"It's over between us."

Everything I've done, I did them all to protect you. However, I had no idea that they were also the same reason for your pain, the same reason for pushing you away.

I thought putting you in my world would be what's best for you, but I forgot how fucked up my world was. In the end, I realized that I wasn't protecting you. Instead, I was dragging you to my world of misery.

I'm always sorry for not realizing sooner that I was dragging you to hell with me.

"We will be free to live our own lives outside Filimon Heights. No orders to follow, parents to impress, or reputation to uphold. We will start anew, just you and me."

When you gave me a second chance, running away from hell was the first thing I thought of. I couldn't lose the only thing that's good in my life, so why not try to have a new start.

I tried to be the best person for you, but then the pain of yesterday returned through a face of someone new.

"Kuya, hindi totoo ang sinasabi niya! Something happened between us, but it was consensual! I don't know why she's doing this to me! Please Kuya, ikaw lang ang naiisip kong makakatulong sa akin."

I saw my own brother in him. Was he this scared, too? Did he beg everyone to believe him, too? If more people believed my brother, would he still choose to end his life?

Blinded by my brother's pain, I chose to believe Romeo's claim of innocence. I thought I was helping you as well by preventing you from destroying someone's life. I thought I was preventing you from a lifetime of guilt.

Little did I know, that was the last straw. And I was the one heading for a lifetime of guilt.

"How many times will you believe that boy?! You're wasting time and manpower trying to make sense of that boy's delusion! Wala kang napala nang imbestigahan mo 'yan noon, kaya bakit uulitin mo pa?!"

"Inutil ka! Hindi ka na ba natuto sa nangyari sa Kuya mo noon?!"

"A girl with PTSD isn't fine! She's a walking timebomb and it's not good that she's with your delusional friend! Kaya ba ng konsensya mo na may mangyaring msama sa kanila dahil lang sa maling akala nila?! Kaya ba ng konsensya mo na may inosenteng madamay dahil lang sa mga teyorya nila?! Alam mo kung anong pwedeng mangyari dahil sa ginagawa nila. Tama na 'yong nangyari sa Kuya mo, Jethro! 'Wag mo nang hayaang maulit pa 'yon!"

Dad's voice echoed in my head. I remembered what happened to my Brother. If the scandal didn't occur at the same time as the string of disappearances and rape cases, would he still be miserable enough to want to die? If he wasn't accused as a serial rapist, would he still kill himself?!

"Ano?!" Baka nakakalimutan mong ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit namatay ang Kuya mo?!"

All of a sudden, I was brought back to the night when my brother lied to me, asking me to get our Father's gun so he could clean it and make my Dad happy.

My brother's final words resonated in my head once again. I became desperate to protect my friends, and I ended up committing grave mistakes.

In my attempt to do the right thing, I ended up ruining everything.

"I can't trust you anymore, Jethro. I can never look at you the same way anymore."

That night, the bridge between us fell apart.

I thought I could still change your mind, but you left and even the friends who helped bridge us together turned into walls.

My anguish turned into anger. I felt betrayed by the way you just gave up and ran away. After everything we've been through, you left just because I chose to believe an innocent man. You left me even if I was doing the right thing.

One day, Mom arrived bearing a confession. I cried at the sight of the bruises on her wrist and neck. With tears in her eyes, she admitted who the culprit is. I broke down the moment I learned this wasn't the first time it happened.

Nothing about their relationship was picture perfect from the very beginning. Even my brother's conception was forced. Had it not been for us, she wouldn't have stayed.

What kind of son was I for not seeing my Mother's plight? How could I not realize the source of my brother's misery?

All of a sudden, it all came back to me... how my Father used to beat my brother up and how he would hurt me or my mother for trying to intervene. My brother used to stand up for himself whenever he pleases. However, on the day that fateful day, he crumbled down and eventually succumbed to my Father's abysmal sentiments.

When he said he wanted Dad to be happy... did he mean his death?

Did the abuse get far enough to add fuel to my brother's doom?

My Mother's misery opened my eyes to my Father's darkness. And that's when I realized that for so long, I didn't even realize that I was slowly turning into him. And in being so, you were also suffering the same fate like my Mother.

I understand now why you left. And I was thankful you did. You wouldn't be happy in my world.

My Mom and I turned our backs on Filimon Heights. Dad threatened us with financial woes but nothing could stop us anymore, and it's not like I will ever let him hurt her anymore. He cared so much about his reputation and I ended up using it against him just so we can be free.

I resigned from the force but he said he will never accept my resignation, and that I can go back whenever I want. Other officers don't have the same opportunity. I understand Silver now.

Starting new at a strange place was more than difficult. I thought of you every single day and I was shameless to wonder if you ever think of me too.

"Anak, si Silver na naman ba ang iniisip mo?" tanong ni Mommy nang minsan niya akong mahuli na nalulunod sa sarili kong isip, imbes na dapat mag-aral sa panibago kong landas na tinatahak.

Walang saysay para magsinungaling kaya tumango ako at ngumiti. Miss na miss na kita kahit alam kong ayaw mo na akong makita pa. At naiintindihan ko 'yon. Pagkatapos ba naman ng sakit na dinulot namin ng pamilya ko sa'yo.

"Hindi mo pa rin ba alam nasaan siya?"

Umiling ako. "Wala pong nakakaalam nasaan siya, kahit ang number niya."

"Kahit sina Reika?"

Umiling ulit ako at ngumiti. "Iniiba po nila agad usapan."

"How about social media?"

"She took down everything. Siguro nasa mga liblib na probinsya na siya ngayon. She always wanted to be part of a foundation that serves people who are away from far away areas."

Whoever coined the phrase 'out of mind, out of sight' is dumb. The more I couldn't see you, the more I yearned for you.

"Do you still love her?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

"Come on, Mom." Natawa na lamang ako. "There's no reason for me to stop."

"Then go look for her when you finally get your license!" Pinalo niya pa ako sa balikat. "I didn't raise a quitter!"

Mom's words encouraged me to be shameless.

One day, I woke up determined to fix my life and have you back. I'm not going to drag you into a world of misery this time.

When I was able to leave, I headed to places where you could be. I tried working at different places where a nurse with a mindset like you would choose. I kept returning to Filimon Heights every now and then, trying to fish for information, too. Odds are, I might see you again in the city that brought us together.

The more I miss you, the more I became determined to look for you.

Fate became kind to me. I received a call from Sawyer, telling me to come home for Cohen's wedding proposal. I was upset about Apollo, but Cohen's proposal and the wedding will be an opportunity to see you again. Our bridge may have fallen, but I still know your heart. You wouldn't miss out on our friend's special day. Even if you won't take me back, at least I will get to see you again. The least I can do is apologize.

"Chill ka lang, baka sa Montival Island pupunta na 'yon," Warren said, handing me a glass of beer for comfort.

"Yeah, Reika will kill her if she wouldn't attend," paniniguro rin sa akin ni Denver.

The brothers continued to be my ears through the years.

"Just a little heads up though..." Warren sighed. "Reika's already campaigning against you. Isa-isa na kaming pinagbantaan na huwag na huwag kayong aasarin ni Silver sa isa't isa kapag nagkita kayo. She even made us promise to keep you apart at all times."

"Her threats are empty. Ignore her." Tumawa naman si Denver.

Two years after I broke your heart, I finally saw you again in Montival Islandd. We were hundreds of feet apart. You were by the gate of the villa while we were drinking at the second floor terrace. I couldn't believe it was you because you had short hair... but I recognized Reika and Slade from afar.

"Oh, inom ng tubig." Magno was joking when he handed me a glass of water but I badly needed it at that time.

"Nurse Quack!" Haji suddenly jumped up and down like he was so happy to see you. And you waved back.

I wanted to push Haji off the railings. I wondered why you seem close when years ago you were always out to harm each other.

I found you playing the piano on top of the staircase. Aside from your hair, nothing seemed to have changed about you. I wonder if you still love me too.

I gasped and quickly rubbed my watering eyes. I didn't even realize that I was holding my breath while watching you. I wanted to run to you and hug you but my feet felt like they were nailed to the ground. Do you still feel the same way? Will you ever forgive me?

Bigla na lamang may bumangga sa akin. Bago pa man ako makapagsalita, dumaan sa harapan ko si Haji. Lumingon siya sa akin at ngumisi bago lumapit sa'yo. Gusto ko siyang saktan nang mga sandaling iyon pero baka lalo lang sumama ang tingin mo sa akin.

Paulit-ulit kong pinlano kung ano ang sasabihin sa'yo oras na magkita tayo. Pero nang lumingon ka at tuluyang magtama ang mga mata natin, nawala ako sa sarili kong pag-iisip.

Umalis na lamang ako dahil hindi ko na alam anong gagawin.

The more I saw you, the more I wanted to hold you. When you were playing the Piano in front of everyone else, I remembered the times when you would play only for me. Memories of us made me yearn for you even more.

When Denver proposed to Braylee in the midst of the crowd, I couldn't help but look at your direction. If I didn't mess up, we would've been the first to get married. Maybe we would even have kids by now.

You turned to look at me and our eyes met. Are you thinking the same, too?

"Ang sarap magmahal, lasang wasak!" Nagsimulang uminom si Haji. Napansin ko agad ang sakit sa mga mata niya. Doon ay agad kong napagtanto na walang namamagitan sa inyo. Hanggang ngayon, si Braylee pa rin.

Lumapit ka sa amin at bigla mo siyang hinatak palabas. Susunod sana ako sa inyo pero pinigilan ako nina Magno.

Hanggang ngayon ako pa rin ba? O si Haji na?

They kept telling me that it's impossible for the two of you to be together, but seeing the two of you act so close still bothered me.

Napangiti ako nang makita kang tawa nang tawa habang kasama sina Reika, kahit pa kasama mo si Haji.

"Some of the guests are already asleep, keep it down." Hindi ko alam kung bakit iyon sinabi. Umalis na lang agad ako at nagtungo sa pool side. Habang naroon, bigla kang lumingon sa direksyon ko at ngumiti.

I've had delusions about you for the last two years, so I thought my eyes were just playing tricks on me again. Instead of smiling back, I chose to look away.

Kinabukasan, natagpuan kitang naglalaro ng luksong tinik kasama sina Reika. Nakakatuwa kang pagmasdan kasi napakasaya mo, tawa ka lang nang tawa. Malayo sa hitsura mo noong huli tayong nagkita. Kaso hindi ko mapigilang mag-alala para sa inyo, lalo na kay Magno na siyang pinaka mabilis mabalian ng buto.

Napahalukipkip ako ng braso ko. Gusto ko kayong pigilan pero gusto ko pang makita ang ngiti mo.

"Puchangama! Akala ko multong Principal!" Nagulat ako nang bigla kang sumigaw habang nakatingin sa akin, tawa ka pa nang tawa.

Natahimik ang lahat. Ako naman ay nanatiling nakatingin sa'yo, gulat na gulat.

Does this mean you're not mad anymore? Does this mean we're okay? I can talk to you without upsetting you?

"Idiots..." I mumbled when Sawyer, Magno, and Reika were playfully wrestling on the grass. I was hoping you would share the same sentiment, after all, the two of us used to suffer secondhand-embarrassment because of them. I guess you didn't hear me.

"Bro, sali ka?" Haji grinned.

This is my opportunity to hit Haji without making it seem obvious. I can just pretend I did it by accident, so why not?

I took off my shoes and watch, even unbuttoned my polo shirt. I wanted them to see I'm trying to take it seriously so that they won't suspect me when I hit Haji.

Hinubad ko ang salamin ko at inabot ito sa'yo. You looked surprised and I was, too. I guess it was a force of habit. I used to do that whenever you were there to watch me play basketball.

"Pahawak," sabi ko na lang at tinanggap mo naman ito.

Sa huli, minalas ako dahil hindi naman sumali si Haji sa obstacle. Hindi ko tuloy siya 'aksidenteng' tinamaan.

Somehow the air between us felt light enough for the two of us to joke on each other. I can't help but hope that there's still a chance for the two us.

"Progress?" kaswal na tanong ni Denver habang nasa isang tabi kami kasama si Warren, pinapanood silang naglalaro.

"Bantay sarado pa rin si Reika kaya 'di ko makausap nang maayos. But we can joke around each other now. She laughs when others poke fun of me." I sighed, trying to stop myself from smiling.

"Paselosin na kasi natin." Warren grinned.

"Iba ang takbo ng utak ni Silver, delikado." Umiling agad si Denver at ilang sandaling napatulala. "Okay, may naisip na ako."

"Ano?" sabay naming tanong ni Warren.

"Basta, alisto ka lang." Paniniguro ni Denver.

Hindi ko inasahan ang ginawa ni Denver. Nagulat na lang ako nang literal niya akong tinulak patungo sa'yo. Nadaganan kita at lalo lang nadagdagan ang kasalanan ko.

Kinabukasan, umagang-umaga ay ginugulo na ako ni Stacy. Mula nang maging magkaibigan ulit ang mga ina namin, para na rin akong nagkaroon ng nakababatang kapatid.

"Warren's right, you know! Sige na kasi, pagselosin na natin!" giit niya.

"Si Silver ba talaga ang gusto mong pagselosin o si Heath?" tanong ko kaya natahimik siya. Sinasabi ko na nga ba.

Alam ko ang pinagdaanan niya kay Heath kaya pumayag na lang din ako. Pinagdasal ko na lang na sana 'wag kang magkaroon ng ibang ideya, o kahit si Reika.

Nang nasa simbahan tayo, nakahanap ako ng pagkakataong makausap ka lalo't wala si Reika sa tabi ko. So sobrang pangungulila, naitanong ko ang mga bagay na wala akong karapatang itanong sa iyo.

The last two years felt like eternity. I just want to go back to the way we used to. But if we can only be friends for now, then I'll endure.

We left Montival Island on a good note. You headed back to Filimon Heights so I did the same.

"Jethro, ano bang pumasok sa isip mo?! You almost killed that boy! Do you know what this can do to you?! To the two of us?!" Dad kept screaming while I was sitting on the floor, behind bars.

I don't regret running over Romeo with my car. If there's one thing I regret, it was believing him. Because of what I did, I ruined Vanessa's life. Because of what I did, I ended up losing you. You were right all along. I ended up ruining someone's life.

I could only cry remembering all those times you tried to convince me. Instead of hearing you out, I continued to listen to my own selfish judgment. What's worse is that after all that, you still didn't hate me.

You should've hated me, Silver. You suffered for so long because of me.

When I saw you again at Braylee and Denver's wedding. I wanted to beg for your forgiveness but I was too ashamed to look at you. Do I even have the right to talk to you?

I guess I was just too shameless because after apologizing, I had the audacity to ask you for another chance.

"Maaayos pa natin, pero hindi na maibabalik pa 'yong dating tayo. Oo, hindi nawala 'yong nararamdaman ko para sa'yo, pero hindi ko na kayang makipag relasyon ulit sa'yo."

I nodded and looked down, trying to hide my tears. After everything that I've done, it's no longer a surprise that you don't want to be with me anymore.

"I'm letting you go now, Silver..."

Accepting your decision was the only thing I could do for you. So, even if it hurts, I had to let you go. The bridge between you and I has long been gone.

A year later and somehow, it brought me comfort that Romeo is behind bars and all his victims finally got the justice they deserved.

I considered longing for you as my eternal punishment.

Habang naghihintay kay Reika sa loob ng restaurant ni Apollo, biglang tumawag si Mommy kaya agad ko itong sinagot.

"Anak! What's the update?" tanong agad sa akin ni Mommy. "Send photos of Denver's kid."

"Later, Mom." Natawa ako.

"Si Silver ba, nagkita kayo?" she asked excitedly.

I shook my head. "Kahapon pa raw po siya umalis."

"Naku, nagkasalisi pala kayo! Next time kasi bilisan mo!"

Maybe it's for the best that I didn't see her. At least she can forget me faster. I'd hate the thought of her being with someone else, but she deserves to be happy.

"Nga pala, kailan ka uuwi rito? Ngayon ko lang kasi napansin na may dumating--"

"Maybe next month. Ibababa ko na ho, nandito na si Reika." Ibinaba ko ang cellphone ko nang makita siyang pumasok.

"Thanks for making time! Anong oras ang flight mo?" tanong niya agad.

"In three hours?" Napasulyap ako sa relo ko. "Make that 2 hours and 40 minutes."

"Okay, hindi na ako magpapaligoy-ligoy pa, Teacher Jethro!" She sighed and grabbed the drink I ordered in advance for her. Sinabit niya ang dalawang braso sa upuan at ngumisi habang sumisimsim ng inumin niya.

"Any minute now." I joked.

She swallowed hard and sighed, putting her drink down. "You and Silver still love each other. You're no longer a toxic mess. She's having trouble forgetting you. Bottom line, you have my blessing, magbalikan na kayo."

I chuckled, amused that she's on my side again. "Tempting, but she deserves someone else. After what I've done--"

"She still loves you," she cut me off with an eyebrow raised. "Channel your guilt into being a better man for her. For the love of God, I want my best friend back! And totoy bato, please hurry up. Sige ka, papatol 'yon kay Haji."

I'd like to believe that you still love me, but I don't want to get my hopes up. After what I've done, you have every reason to love someone else. Even if it's Haji.

"Jethro, narinig mo ba ang sinabi ko?!" Halos paluin niya ang mesa. "SI Haji! Payag ka na si Haji ang ipapalit sa'yo?!"

Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi nakakabahala ang sinabi niya, pero may magagawa ba ako? 

Tumawa na lamang ako at pabirong ginulo ang buhok niya. "Thanks for building our bridge from the very beginning."

"So, babalikan mo siya?" She beamed. "Baka gusto mo ng address?"

Sandali akong natigilan pero mas pinili kong umiling. "She's better off without me."

"What if she needs you?" tanong niya.

I nodded and smiled. "Then I will be there for her in a heartbeat."

"She needs you right now. Napapariwara na ang buhay niya dahil kay Haji." Ngumuso siya.

"When she really needs me, I'll be there..." I assured her. Siguro naman hindi siya ipapahamak ni Haji, iyon ang naisip ko. Subukan niya lang at kakalimutan kong magkaibigan kami.

"Nga pala, nakita mo ba si Magno?" tanong niya kaya umiling ako.

"Bakit?" Nakunot ang noo ko.

Nagkibit balikat siya at ngumiti. "Wala... Focus ka na lang sa trabaho mo. Mag-ipon ka para sa future n'yo ni Silver."

Ang hindi ko alam, 'yon na ang huling beses na makikita ko siyang buhay.

***

I felt helpless as I watched you prepare for Reika's memorial. We were in pain after losing a good friend, but you lost a sister. Instead of grieving, you chose to occupy yourself with errands for her. You chose to go around comforting and serving everyone.

I wanted to approach and comfort you, but I know how upset you are with my Father for his involvement with stealing her corpse.

If only there's a way that I could help.

"My sister is a mess and she needs someone to lean on. You're the only person I can think of." Nagulat ako nang sikreto akong kinausap ni Slade. "She needs you the most, and I'm sure you need her too. Kung mahal mo pa ang kapatid ko--"

"You know i'll do everything for her," sabi ko kaagad. "But are you sure she won't be upset? I mean, she hates me."

"Tanga." Suminghal si Slade. "Basta, ikaw na ang bahala sa kanya. Ilayo mo rin siya kay Haji. Hindi sila nakakatulong sa isa't isa."

I kept an eye on you at a fair distance. Nangyari ang kinakatakutan ko at tuluyan kang bumagsak sa sahig.

Nawala na sa isip ko ang galit mo at agad kitang nilapitan.

"Napaso ka ba?" Taranta kong tiningnan ang mga kamay mo at nakitang pulang-pula ito, pero mukhang wala kang ibang nararamdamang sakit.

Lumuluha kaming lahat pero mas pinipili mong magpakatatag para kay Slade at para sa pamilya ni Reika.

Gusto kitang yakapin pero ayokong mas lalong sumama ang kalooban mo. Wala akong magawa kundi bantayan ka mula sa malayo.

I was drowning in pain as Haji dragged me out of that burning house. I held on to my wound, trying to stop it from bleeding. I can feel myself slowly slipping away until I heard you calling out my name.

"Anong nangyari?!" 

I was surprised to see you crying and trying to help me get to safety.

"I'm okay..." I gasped and tried to smile at you. Babawi pa ako sa'yo. Hindi ako mawawala.

"Puchangama ka!" You cried but it just made me laugh a little. I missed hearing you scream that word.

Hanggang sa ambulansya, hindi mo ako iniwan. Ni hindi mo binitiwan ang kamay ko.

"Didn't I tell you not to get hurt?!"

"Hey, don't cry. Mababaw lang 'to. Okay lang ako." Parang nawala ang lahat ng sakit sa katawan ko. Ayaw kitang makitang umiiyak at nag-aalala para sa akin. Inaamin ako, para ring naglaho ang lahat ng sakit nang makita ko ang pag-aalala mo.

Pero agad na naglaho ang ngiti sa mukha ko nang makita ang biglang pagbabago ng paghinga mo. Saka ko lang napansing duguan ka.

"S-Silver?! Hey, she can't breathe!" Halos mapabangon ako. Alam kong sobra kang nasasaktan dahil sa pagkawala niya, pero nang mga sandaling iyon ay napagtanto kong mas matindi pa ang sugat na iniwan sa'yo ng pagpanaw niya.

Nagising ako nang marinig ang boses mo. Nabahala ako nang makita ang mga benda sa mga braso mo. Naalala ko ang hitsura mo sa ambulansya. Nabahala ako ulit.

"Okay ka lang?" tanong ko sa'yo.

"Ah, oo. Mawawala naman daw 'to, ilang araw lang. Pero ang hapdi pa rin talaga." Si Haji ang sumagot, imbes na ikaw. Napatingin ako sa'yo, pero nagkibit balikat ka lang.

Isang sapak lang kay Haji, pwede ba 'yon?

"How long was I out?" tanong ko na lamang. Ramdam ko pa rin ang kirot mula sa saksak na tinamo ko.

"A day," sagot mo.

Bakit ka nandito? Ako pa rin ba? Gusto ko itong itanong sa'yo pero alam kong hindi dapat.

Tinangka kong umupo at kahit iika-ika ka ay mabilis kang lumapit. Hindi ko mapigilang umasa. Totoo ba ang sinabi ni Reika at ipinahiwatig ni Slade? Ako pa rin ba?

"Tara na, Silver. Late na tayo sa date natin."

Will Reika be mad if I punch Haji, just this once?

"I need you to stop smiling at me like that." I should be comforting you but it's hard to see you smile at me like the good old days. It makes me believe that there's still a chance for us.

Your smile makes me shameless. Nakakalimutan ko ang lahat ng kasalanan ko at gusto lang kitang hagkan kagaya ng dati.

I was supposed to be comforting you but you ended up comforting me on my greatest downfall. My grave mistakes kept piling up and it even lead to Reika's death. Still, you didn't hate me. You still stayed by my side.

"Hindi mo kasalanan," paulit-ulit mo itong pinapaalala sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung paano mo pa ako nagagawang paniwalaan pagkatapos ng lahat ng mga nagawa ko.

"If you still choose to blame yourself, then do something to, at least, make up for it. Makakabawi ka pa sa kanila."

After everything I've done, you still believe in me.

It's hard to comfort you and stay by your side when you're always smiling at me like I'm still the love of your life.

Is the bridge there again?

"You're being so nice to me, and I'm scared that one day, I'll get the wrong idea," I had to admit it

"When did I ever want to be just a friend to you?" 

I instantly felt regret after uttering those words. I regret asking you to stay away from me. I should be helping and comforting you but I kept making it about me. I'm sorry.

I saw you break down in tears at Reika's funeral. You hid away from everyone else just to cry on your own.

Even in your own darkest moment, you kept being our light. And I promise to be yours.

"I can't be just friends with you so, let's get back together? How about that?"

Three years. I've considered this a dream for so long. When you said it, I almost couldn't even believe it.

I had to blink and take a deep breath. "So, to be clear, If I ask you to be my Girlfriend again, you'll say yes?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Remove the if." You rolled your eyes. "We both still love each other, you know that."

After everything that happened, you're still in love with me. The bridge is there again.

There's no way to undo my grave mistakes, so, until my last breath, I vow to make up for every single one of them. I will be a better man for you. I will love you better. And I will be a better friend to them. It will be my atonement.

***

A month after Reika's death and now, you finally have the courage to watch her video about you.

"Ready?" I smiled as you sat next to me on our living room couch.

You nodded and leaned on my shoulder. I held your hand tight and kissed it as you pressed the TV remote to play.

"Hey Little Bean! Kumusta? Nagbalikan na ba sina Ate Silly at Kuya Jethro mo? Kung hindi pa, ipaalala mo sa akin na ibugaw ulit sila sa isa't isa. Tulungan mo ako sa pagpa-plano ha? Those two are made for each other. Biro-biro ko lang talaga 'yon sa simula eh, kasi alam mo na, pareho silang bato at matino. Malay ko bang magkakatotoo. Those two really love each other, Little Bean. I feel kinda responsible for breaking them apart, but hey, they both needed a time out. I hope they find their way back to each other again."

I will always be grateful to Reika. She was the reason we met, the first one help build our bridge. Even in death, she still helped me get to you.

I had to hit pause when I saw you crying. "Stoney..."

I know you're still in so much pain from losing her. I promise to comfort you in every way that I can. To wipe your tears. To wake you up from your nightmares. To hold your hand when it trembles. To breathe with you when you can't. We'll face this pain together.

I will never let our bridge fall again.

"I'm okay, Stoney." You gasped and wiped your tears. You looked at me with a smile. Somehow, the look on your eyes seems different. I can see happiness in them.

I faced you and cupped your cheeks gently, kissing your forehead.

"I'm just happy..." You chuckled.

"Why?" I asked as I leaned back, still holding your hand.

"It feels good to know that all along, she was rooting for us to get back together." You laughed tearfully. I knew right then that you're crying out of happiness. "I'm sure if she was here, she'd be so happy for us."

My breathing slowed as a hunch crossed my mind. I remembered the mornings when you'll do nothing but throw-up and complain about staying in bed. Please tell me this is the confirmation that I had been waiting for.

You suddenly grabbed a tiny silver box from your pocket and handed it to me.

I looked at you as my eyes watered. "Stoney..."

"Puchangama, boy labo! Just open it!" You grinned.

I opened the box and found a pregnancy test kit inside.

Two red lines.

I have never been happier.

thanks for reading! to God be the glory!