history - one direction

Everything seems blurry but I can see Jethro carrying me towards the car.

"Jethro naman eh! Ayoko pang umuwi!" pupungas-pungas kong protesta habang kinakabit niya ang seatbelt sa akin. Gustong-gusto ko pang uminom pero heto siya at nagpapaka-principal na naman!

He chuckled. "You're already drunk and I promised your brother that we'll be back by midnight. 'Wag nang matigas ang ulo."

"Hindi niya naman malalaman eh!" Ngumuso ako at humawak sa tenga niya. He flinched at my touch. Dali-dali niyang tinapos ang ginagawa at mabilis na sinara ang pinto. Patakbo siyang umikot upang maupo sa driver's seat kaya naman hinilig ko ang ulo para abangan siya.

"Jethro..." Panlalambing ko sa kanya.

"You're drunk." He sighed and started the car. He placed his arm at the back of my seat and turned to look behind us, his other hand maneuvering the steering wheel. His hands tightened as he turned the car around.

"Psst..." I smiled sheepishly, poking his cheek.

"Nope." Walang emosyon siyang umiling at umayos ng upo, inilagay na ang dalawang kamay sa manibela.

I couldn't help but stare at Jethro's cold-looking face as he drove. His jaw was tensed up while his icy gaze is focused on the road.

"Have I ever told you how hot you look when you drive?" I smirked, still facing him while leaning my back against the seat.

"I'll pretend I never heard that." He heaved a loud sigh. He's not even throwing me a single glance.

"Wanna make out?" pang-aasar ko at sa isang iglap ay naubo siya nang wala sa oras. Gumewang pa nang kaunti ang sasakyan. Tawa tuloy ako nang tawa.

Napansin kong mas binilisan niya ang pagpapatakbo. Pinaandar niya pa ang radyo at sa isang iglap, biglang umalingawngaw ang kanta... Just when I thought I was over you, and just when I thought I could stand on my own, oh baby those me---

Lalo akong natawa nang dali-dali itong pinatay ni Jethro. Nataranta ang puchangama.

"Sleep," maotoridad niyang sambit at muling binalik ang tingin sa kalsada. "I'll wake you up when we're there."

Napabuntong-hininga na lamang ako at hinugot ang cellphone mula sa bulsa ko. Paulit-ulit kong kinurap-kurap ang mga mata ko para lang mahanap ang pangalan niya sa contacts ko. Napangiti ako nang sa wakas ay makita ko ang pangalan ni Haji at mabilis siyang tinawagan.

"Hello?" Inaantok niyang bulalas nang sa wakas ay sagutin na niya ang tawag ko.

"Go take a shower and find us a place to drink! We're getting wasted tonight!" I couldn't stop laughing and smiling.

"Ha? Eh mukhang lasing ka na?" Naguguluhan niyang sambit. "Silver, hindi na makakatulong 'tong pag-inom sa mga problema--

"Screw you, Kazemi!" Nakaramdam ako bigla ng matinding inis. "Ikaw na lang nga 'yong maasahan ko sa ganitong bagay, tatanggi ka pang puchangama-- Hey! I'm still talking to that scumbag!"

Biglang inagaw ni Jethro ang cellphone ko at kinausap niya si Haji, diretso pa rin ang tingin sa daan. "I'm with her... Oo, ako na ang bahala. Oo sige, salamat."

He ended the call and handed me back my phone. Napasinghal na lamang ako. "Gusto ko lang naman ng kainuman, ba't ang aarte n'yo?"

"Let's drink then." Jethro breathed a loud sigh. Mukhang napipilitan lang.

"Ayoko ng napipilitan!" I glared at him.

"Hindi ako napipilitan..." His voice softened as he glanced at me. "I was just trying to be careful around you."

Natawa ako at niyakap na lamang ang sarili ko. "Ah basta, sinabi mo nang sasamahan mo akong uminom. Wala nang bawian. Gisingin mo ako kapag nasa Filimon Heights na tayo."

"Yes, Ma'am..." aniya.

"By the way, this doesn't mean anything." I smiled sheepishly. 

"I know..." He nodded. "This is just me, being a good friend to you."

"Bait mo talaga, Friend!" I jokingly poked his cheek once again.

***

"Silver, nakikiliti ako," walang emosyon niyang reklamo habang nilalaro ko ang tenga niya. 

"Reklamador ka na ngayon." Pabiro akong bumusangot at pinaglandas ang mga daliri ko sa panga niya. "Hindi ka naman mukhang taong grasa ah? Hayop talaga si Kirsten."

Bumukas na ang elevator doors. Akala ko ay ibababa na ako ni Jethro pero lumabas siyang karga pa rin ako.

"Which door?" he asked.

"Last one on the right." Ngumuso ako. "Ibaba mo na ako. Hindi na ako matutumba, promise."

Naglakad siyang karga pa rin ako, pero nang tuluyang makarating sa pinto, ibinaba na niya ako. Sumusuray pa ako nang binuksan ko ang bag ko kaya naman si Jethro na rin ang kumuha ng susi ko.

Pagbukas ng pinto at ilaw sa sala, natawa ako nang makita ang gulat sa mukha ni Jethro. Tumambad kasi agad sa kanya ang mga basyo ng alak sa sahig, pati na sa sofa.

"Did you drink them all by yourself?" he asked.

"Don't judge me." I giggled and grabbed him by the hand to enter the room. Nakatulala pa rin siya habang nakatitig sa mga basyo kaya ako na ang nagsara ng pinto. Hindi pa rin siya gumagalaw kaya hinila ko na lang siya sa patungo sa kusina at pinaupo sa bar stool.

Inilabas ko ang mga alak na nasa ref, pati na rin ang mga snacks, at inilapag ito sa harapan ni Jethro.

Naupo ako sa tapat niya, at dahil may bottle opener na, ako na ang nagtanggal ng mga takip.

"Kumusta na nga pala ang pakiramdam mo?" I asked as I continued my drinking spree.

He took a deep breath and sighed, grabbing a bottle of beer. "Magno's too nice, he doesn't even blame me when he should." 

He drank straight from the bottle after sharing his own sentiment.

I can't help but feel bad while seeing the sad look on his eyes, but somehow, it brings me comfort to hear him talk about it. 

I nodded and opened a snack for us to eat. "How's your wound? Puchangama ka, kinarga-karga mo pa ako."

He chuckled, putting his arms on the counter and slouching as he picked up a couple of chips. "Parang wala nga eh. I mean, I've been through worse..."

Naalala ko bigla iyong aksidente niya noon. For crying out loud, he was impaled with metal and he managed to survive that! Para sa isang mabuting damo, medyo mahaba ang buhay niya.

"Si Tita kumusta na pala?" tanong ko. "Tumawag pala siya noong isang araw, noong naiwan ang cellphone mo sa akin. Nag-aalala siya kaya sinagot ko na lang."

Natigilan si Jethro dahil sa sinabi ko. Halata ang gulat sa mukha niya. "Y-yeah.. She told me she talked to you. Ano pala ang pinag-usapan ninyo? Ayaw niya kasing sabihin."

He continued drinking after opening a new bottle for me.

I shrugged. "Nangumusta lang. Nasabi ko rin ang tungkol kay Reika. She didn't have any idea about what happened."

He stopped drinking and wiped his lips using his clenched hand. "Mom filed for an annulment and we left Dad three years ago. He hasn't stepped foot in Filimon Heights since then."

May ideya na ako tungkol dito pero nakakagulat pa rin na marinig ito mula kay Jethro.

"H-how does that make you feel?" My voice stammered as I looked at his eyes.

I noticed his hands relax as a smile crept up his face. "Relieved..."

Nilaklak niya ang natitirang laman ng iniinom at nang ilapag niya ito sa mesa ay napansin kong nanunubig na ang mga mata niya. "But I still don't understand how I wasn't able to see my Mom's bruises. How I wasn't able to protect my own Mother..."

Jethro choked down his own tears as he tried to continued, "I thought he loved her.. I really thought that he was making her happy. Mom had been suffering for so many years and I didn't even have any idea..."

"That's because she was trying to protect you..." Hinawakan ko ang kamay niyang nakapatong sa mesa. "None of it is your fault."

He chuckled dryly and took off his eyeglasses. This time I can see his tearful eyes clearly. "I asked her about it... And she said that it was because she wanted me to have a complete family. Sinikmura niyang manatiling isang Filimon para lang sa akin."

I held his hand with my two hands and cupped it gently. "Hey, at least now she's finally free."

"Enough about me..." He sighed and smiled, holding my hand back. "How about you?"

"How about me?" I laughed a little.

He shrugged, placing his other hand on top of mine. Namalayan ko na lamang na naglalaro na ang mga daliri namin sa isa't isa. "Whatever it is that you want to talk about."

Natawa ako. "Ah tama! What's up with the facial hair?"

"Hey, I said we'll talk about you." He smiled.

"I don't want to talk about me. I just want to drink." Binitiwan ko siya at nagbukas ulit ako ng mga bagong bote.

"Pang-ilan mo na 'yan?" tanong niya.

"Speak to yourself! Isang bote pa nga lang nauubos mo, namumula ka na!" pang-aasar ko sabay abot sa kanya ng bote. "Inom ka pa. Madami pa rito."

"Cheers!" I raised my bottle at natatawa naman niyang itinaas ang kanya.

Uminom lang ako nang uminom at tumawa lang ako nang tumawa. Kung ano-ano ang pinag-uusapan namin, hindi man ito gaanong rumerehistro sa isip ko, kahit papaano ay nakakalimutan ko ang sakit na ilang araw nang sumasakop sa sistema ko.

Namalayan ko ang pagbagsak ng ulo ko sa counter. Sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko pero pinipigilan kong makatulog dahil siguradong babalik lang ang lahat sa mga panaginip ko.

"Come on, that's it for now."  Lumapit si Jethro sa akin at natawa ako nang makitang pasuray-suray na rin siya sa paglalakad.

Hilong-hilo man, pilit akong umupo nang maayos. Sinalubong ko siya at hinawakan ang magkabila niyang mga kamay. Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti habang nakatingala sa kanya. "Inom pa tayo, sige na."

Hinawakan niya ang magkabila kong pisngi. Bahagya siyang yumuko dahilan para magpantay ang mga mukha namin. He flashed the sweetest smile and said, "next time. let's get wasted next time. for now, you have to rest."

I stared at his eyes for a few seconds until I looked down on his lips. "Jethro, this doesn't mean anything, okay?"

"What are you--" I cupped his face and kissed him before he could even continue.

It's been three years since the last time we kissed, but somehow, everything still feels the same. His lips are just as sweet and soft as I remembered. 

He tried to pull away but I held him by the nape and deepened my kiss. I couldn't help but smile when I felt him answer with the same fervor. Feeling him again was euphoric.

He suddenly pulled away, gasping. "L-let's stop this... You're drunk."

Natawa ako sa naging reaksyon niya lalo na nang makitang lalong namula ang leeg at mukha niya. Itinuro ko ang upuan. "Don't be such a stickler! Come on, the night's still young!"

"Where's your room?" he asked.

Napahalumbaba ako at uminom ulit, nagbingi-bingihan sa tanong niya. Bigla niya akong hinila patayo kaya sumunod na lang ako, bitbit pa rin ang iniinuman kong bote. Binuksan niya ang pinto kwartong pinakamalapit sa amin. Sumalubong agad sa amin ang kadiliman kaya naman agad niyang kinapa ang dingding para sa switch.

Pag-andar ng mga ilaw, nakita kong natigilan siya nang tumambad sa kanya ang mga basag na salamin at gamit sa paligid. Saktong naubos na ang laman ng boteng iniinom ko kaya hinayaan ko itong bumagsak sa sahig at gumulong ito palayo.

"S-Silver..." Napasinghap siya at mabilis na napalingon sa akin.

Mapait akong napangiti sa kawalan kasabay ng pagpatak ng mga luha ko "Did you know that Warren lied?"

"W-What are you..." Halos hindi niya matapos ang sinasabi.

"In his Eulogy Speech for her, he said Reika didn't suffer. And it was a lie because I was there... Reika was in so much pain as she bled on that sidewalk. She cried and screamed, begging for the pain to stop. She was really scared. She didn't want to die so she begged and begged; she never stopped begging to live, she kept begging for her agony to end. She suffered so much that night, Jethro. We were there and yet we still couldn't do anything to help her."

Hiniwakan ni Jethro ang kamay ko at iginiya niya ako patungo sa kabilang kwarto. Binuksan niya ang ilaw at inalalayan niya ako paupo sa kama. Nanatili akong nakatingin sa kawalan, hinahayaan ko ang mga luha kong pumatak.

Lumuhod siya sa harapan ko at tinanggal ang mga sapatos ko. "It's been a really long day. You should rest."

Napapikit ako kasabay ng pag-agos ng mga luha ko. "I can still hear her crying and begging. I can still see her lying on a pool of blood, suffering in so much pain. Even in my sleep, I see her. Every time I close my eyes, I still see and hear her."

I felt him cup my cheeks and lean his forehead on mine. I could hear his very breathing. "I want to help you but I don't know how."

"I just don't want to be alone..." I cried. "Please stay with me, even just for tonight."

"I don't want us to do anything that you will regret in the morning," he said in a whisper.

"I won't regret this..." I shook my head and kissed him again. "I just want to forget everything even just for a short time."

He answered my kisses fervently and I found myself taking off my dress. I laid back as he took off his shirt. I grabbed him as soon as he was bare. I felt the longing in his kisses and truth is, I feel the same way, too. As our lips were busy, I felt him take off everything that's left on me.

"Wait,  your stubble tickles!" Natawa ako nang wala sa oras nang bumaba ang halik niya sa leeg ko. Kahit siya ay natawa rin sa reaskyon ko.

"Should I get rid of it?" he asked as his lips went back to mine, while his hands started cupping my mound.

"Yes, you should. Naiiyak si Braver dahil sa'yo," I joked, kissing him and massaging the back of his head. I heard him grunt, making me giggle.

He parted my legs and I felt him even in his jeans. I let out a moan when his lips suddenly went down my mound while his other hand made its way on my entrance. 

His touch and kisses made me feverish. He knew his effect on me and moved more viciously.

"N-No Hickeys..." Natatawa kong paalala. 

He chuckled as his kisses made its way up on my neck to my cheeks again. 

"I missed you," he whispered.

"I missed you too, Stoney..." I cupped his face and kissed him deeply.

"W-Wait what did you call me?" His lips rose to a grin the moment our lips parted.

"Gori." I bit my lip and grinned back, reaching for the button of his pants.

"I still heard that..." He dipped his head to kiss me again. "It's okay for you to call me that. I won't get the wrong idea."

//