6 months later

Jethro:

I miss you

Can't wait to catch that flight back to Filimon Heights

Silver:

I miss you too

Ingat ka lagi diyan and please don't skip your meals

Jethro:

Yes Ma'am

How are your requirements?

Silver:

I'm cleared for everything

Graduation practice kami tomorrow

Can't believe I'm finally going to graduate in 2 weeks

Jethro:

Bilis ng panahon

Silver:

Thanks for always letting me practice on you kahit nabali ko noon ang karayom sa'yo

Akala ko di ka na magpapaturok after non

Jethro:

Anything for you

Maybe around next week makakabalik na ako

Silver:

Sige btw im heading to your house in a few

your parents invited me for dinner

Jethro:

That's random haha

Anong meron?

Silver:

I don't know haha

 is it okay if i bring flowers? parang champagne na lang kasi lagi ang dala ko

Can't bring cake since tita bakes a lot

Jethro:

Just bring yourself haha

Wish I was there with you

I can't wait to see you again, Stoney

Napangiti ako nang mabasa ang mensahe ni Jethro. Agad na akong nagbihis at nagtungo sa mansion ng mga Filimon. Ayokong paghintayin sila nang matagal.

***

"Holy shit!" sigaw ni Reika nang buksan niya ang pinto at madatnan akong nakaupo sa paanan ng kama niya. Pinipilit kong pigilan ang sarili kong mga luha pero sadyang ayaw nitong huminto.

Naninikip ang dibdib ko sa sobrang sama ng loob. Wala akong magawa kaya idinadaan ko na lamang sa iyak.

"Hala! Ba't ka umiiyak?!" Agad naglaho ang takot at gulat sa mukha ni Reika. Mabilis niyang binitiwan ang backpack niya at lumuhod sa harapan ko.

"Elemento, tahan na. Anong nangyari sa dinner kasama ang mga Filimon? Ano na namang ginawa nila?" nag-aalalang sambit ni Reika at sa puntong iyon ay mas lalo pa akong naluha.

Naikuyom ko ang mga kamay kong na nasa ibabaw ng hita ko. 

"Ano 'yong nalaman kong nagta-trabaho ka raw sa club?" Nakangiting tanong ni Tito Ivan sa kalagitnaan ng paghahapunan namin. Despite the smile on his face, there's something wicked about the look of his eyes. 

"They said as a bartender, honey." Tita Janice laughed but I sensed something in the tone of her voice... there was caution.

I swallowed, feeling my smiling lips tremble a little. I can't even look at him in the eyes. "My friend who works there as a bartender had an emergency. I once worked there before so I took over her shift tutal wala naman po akong ginagawa."

"You worked there before?" His eyes turned into slits, his smile turning more sarcastic by the second. 

I felt my skin crawl.

Tito Ivan has always been nice but there are times when I feel scared of him. I thought it was because I found him intimidating at first, but as time passed by, I was able to feel something strange about him. About their family. 

Bago pa man ako makasagot, biglang tumayo si Tita at naglagay ng juice sa baso ko, natakpan si Tito sa paningin ko.

Nang maupo na ulit si Tita, nakita kong nakatingin pa rin sa akin si Tito, wala na ang ngiti sa mukha. Naging seryoso siya bigla. "Whatever the reason is, I never want you to step foot in that club again. Whatever the condition is, never again. Babae ka at dapat hindi ka nagpupunta sa lugar na ganoon, ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga makakakilala sa'yo?"

Hindi ako nakapagsalita dahil sa magkahalong gulat at takot. Hindi niya ako tinaasan ng boses pero tila ba asido ang kanyang bawat salita.

Gusto kong mangatwiran pero sa sobrang takot ay ni hindi ko mabikua ang bibig ko.

"He's right. Don't go there again," Tita said, putting more food on my plate.

"It's bad enough that you weren't able to graduate on time tapos ngayon makikita ka ng mga tao sa club? Hija, 'wag mo nang dagdagan. Hindi porke't kinukunsinti ka nina Sophie at Neil, magpapabaya ka na. You are tied to my son, Silver. Please don't do anything to taint his good name," dagdag ni Tito. 

"They said that?!" Hindi makapaniwalang sambit ni Reika, bakas ang galit sa mukha. Mabilis siyang tumayo at naupo sa tabi ko. "Si Jethro?! Anong sabi niya?!"

Umiling ako at pumikit, pumatak lalo ang mga luha ko. "Jethro's still out of town. Ako lang ang inimbitahan nila."

Ilang sandaling natahimik ang buong silid. Walang kumiikibo sa amin hanggang sa bigla na na lang bumuntong-hininga si Reika at tumingala sa kisame. 

"I promised my Mom na hindi ako makikialam," she muttered.

"R-rei?" Napatingin ako sa kanya.

Muling bumuntong-hininga si Reika, humarap siya sa akin at hinila rin ako sa mga braso upang humarap din sa kanya. She looked at me straight in the eyes and that's when I saw her tears brimming. "Silverianne, you know how much I love you right?"

Napalunok ako nang marahas. Kinabahan ako sa tono ng pananalita niya dahil mukhang alam ko na ang ibig niyang sabihin at ayoko nito. Ayoko.

"Rei..." Umiling-iling ako kasabay ng muling pagkabasag ng boses ko sa isang iyak.

"Hindi ka iyakin pero habang tumatagal, lagi na lang kitang nakikitang umiiyak," walang emosyong giit ni Reika habang nakatitig sa mga mata ko.

Sana hindi na lang ako nag-kwento. Sana sinarili ko na lang. 

Nilunok ko ang nagbabadyang hikbi at pinunasan ang mga luha ko. "You know what, it's not that bad. I'm just being too sensitive. They've always treated me well. I'm just blowing this out of proportion."

"No, you're not!" Reika's face contorted and I can see the disgust in her face. "Gusto mong isa-isahin ko ang mga pagkakataong umuwi ka nang umiiyak dahil sa pamilyang 'yan?! Hindi ito ang una at mas lalong hindi ito ang huli!"

"Rei!" Muli akong naiyak. "Ganoon naman talaga 'yon 'di ba? There's no such thing as a perfect relationship."

"Silver, there's a fine line between imperfect and straight up toxic! And in your case, his parents are poison and Jethro always agrees with them! God, he's too much of a coward to stand up for you!"

Umiling ulit ako. "He stands up for me, Rei. It's just that he can't voice it out sometimes because he doesn't want to upset his parents. Ganyan din ako sa mga magulang namin--"

"Quit making excuses for the people who keep letting you down," Reika grunted, clasping her palms together as if begging me. "Wake up, Silver! This isn't right anymore!"

Pinunasan ko ang luhaang pisngi gamit ang mga kamay na nanginginig. "Attorney Leoncio hated your Father so much but your parents are still toge--"

"My parents fought for each other!" giit ni Reika nang pagkalakas-lakas.

Napakurap-kurap ako kasabay ng pag-awang ng labi ko.

 "A-and you think Jethro's not going to fight for me?" I asked sarcastically.

"You tell me, Silver..." She moistened her lips. "Will Jethro fight for you or will he always side with his father?"

Reika closed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, her eyes are already red, tears visible. "Do you remember Stacy's fuckboy list?"

I don't know what that list has to do with the subject but I still nodded. 

Pinunasan niya ang pisngi gamit ang palad. "I confronted Stacy, too. I asked him why would she put Magno, Jethro, and Sawyer in the list when they're not as bad as Cohen and Haji... and she had a reason for putting Jethro there."

"W-why?" Nanginig ang mga labi ko. Nakaramdam ako ng matinding takot. "Why was Jethro part of that list, Rei?"

"Because it was her way of warning girls to avoid Jethro Filimon." Reika heaved a big sigh, looking down on the floor. "Stacy knows how awful it is to date a Filimon because her Mom used to be Tita Janice's best friend."

"W-what?" Nakunot ang noo ko.

"I talked to Stacy about this again the other day and she told me something about her... how Tita Janice changed the moment she married Ivanov Filimon." Reika looked at me again with a sad look on her face. "Tita Janice used to be a competitive swimmer and a consistent academic achiever. Boyish, wears baggy clothes, and said to be one of the boys. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and had everything already figured out in her life. However, nothing could ever prepare her the moment she met Tito Ivan. She was on her way to becoming a national athlete when she was forced to marry him after getting pregnant. She gave up everything and devoted her entire life to the family. It came to a point that Tita Janice was no longer acting like herself, according to Stacy's mom. She became like this trophy wife and trophy daughter-in-law. Despite being strict and controlling, okay naman daw ang pakikitungo ng mga Filimon hanggang sa ma-bankrupt ang negosyo ng family ni Tita Janice. Hindi na na-kwento pa ni Stacy kung bakit pero may mga pagkakataong humihingi si Tita Janice ng tulong sa Mommy niya para tumakas ng Filimon Heights dala ang anak niya, pero lagi silang nahuhuli ng mga Filimon. Isang araw, biglang tumigil sa paghingi ng tulong si Tita Janice, hanggang sa parang okay na ang lahat, Jethro was born as well. Tita stopped communicating with her Mom and their friends completely. Stacy didn't elaborate further but she told me that life with the Filimons would be hell and she doesn't want anyone to end up like Tita Janice — fake, unhappy, and trapped."

My heart sank upon hearing the story. I wanted to say that Reika's just making this up to scare me into breaking up with Jethro, but I've spent more than two years with their family to know that the story is more likely to be true. 

I remember how Jethro's Grandfather treats Tita at family gatherings whenever Tito Ivan and Jethro aren't around. I remember Tita's words from the last time we fought. I remember the discoloration that I once saw on her arm and the scar on Jethro's back. All the honor and glamour in front of many people, and the sinister glances behind closed doors.

I remember how easy it is for them to call me out whenever I do something that they don't approve of... 

"I don't want you to end up like Tita Janice, Silver." Umiling-iling si Reika.

"I... I won't..." I assured her, shaking my head as well.

Reika closed her eyes shut once again, taking a deep breath before opening them again.

"Silver, you don't deserve to live a life of misery. End this while you still can, before its too late. You have to break up with Jethro for your own sake."

My heart shattered at Reika's words.

I pressed my lips together, trying to stop them from trembling. I shook my head as I cried. "Jethro's a good man. He won't let me suffer. We love each other and he will protect me, just like what he always says."

"But for how long?" Reika asked with tears in her eyes. 

"He loves me, Rei. Alam mo 'yan," pagmamatigas ko.

"But is love enough to lose yourself?" she held my head and squeezed it tight. "Do you still see yourself when you look in a mirror?"

***

Reika's words keep haunting me. Instead of joining the practice, I found myself sitting in one of our school's garden.

I feel like there's this invisible noose around my neck that's keeping me from breathing. I hate this. I really hate this.

"Hindi ka na naman ba ga-graduate ngayon?"

Mabilis akong napalingon at nakunot ang noo ko nang makita si Haji na may dalang isang paperbag. Magtatanong sana ako kung anong ginagawa niya rito pero parang alam ko na ang sagot.

"Nagpapapasok na pala ng mga demonyo dito?" ganti ko na lamang at saka mabilis na tumayo.

"Alalahanin mo, nandito ka rin." Humalakhak siya nang nakangiwi.

"Hindi lahat ng lamang lupa, masasama." Inirapan ko siya at tinalikuran na lamang. Kinuha ko ang bag ko at maglalakad na sana palayo nang bigla akong hinarang.

"Ito naman, hindi na mabiro. Pasuyo naman oh, pakibigay kay Braylee doon sa laboratory. Bawal na ako doon eh," aniya.

I rolled my eyes and accepted the paperbag. "Just court the girl, Kazemi."

He sighed and chuckled. "Just give her the paperbag. Mamaya gutom na 'yon."

I patted his shoulder and smiled faintly. "The things we do for love."

***

Despite the cloud in my head these past few days, I felt nothing but happiness at the sight of Jethro walking out of the airport in his simple faded jeans, white polo shirt, and thick eyeglasses.

I raised my hand and waved at him, my smile getting more uncontrollable by the second. My feet kept tapping the ground in anticipation. 

He flashed the sweetest smile as he ran towards me, his suitcase in tow. He wrapped me up in the warmest embrace, and just like that, all of my doubts went away.

"I love you..." I whispered, hugging him back tightly and burying my face on his broad shoulder.

He chuckled, planting a kiss on the top of my head. "I ordered lunch in my condo. Let's go before the delivery guy gets there."

Ilang linggo lang na umalis si Jethro pero hindi namin halos mabitiwan ang isa't-isa sa sobrang pagka-miss. Nanonood kami ng pelikula sa sala pero para kaming mga tangang tawa nang tawa dahil sa kung ano-anong pinagk-kwentuhan namin. Nakasandal ako sa kanya habang siya naman ay yakap ako nang mahigpit.

 Maya't-mayang sumasagi sa isipan ko ang mga sinabi ni Reika at sinabi noon ni Slade pero pilit ko itong binabalewala. 

Jethro loves me and I feel the same way. We're happy with each other and this is enough. It will always be. 

"Do you have any plans for dinner?" Jethro asked.

Umiling ako. "You're coming back today so I cleared everything."

He smiled, delighted with my answer.  He lovingly pushed the strands of my hair back to my ear. "Mom wants us to have dinner at the house later."

My heart sank but I tried to hide it by faking a smile. "That's nice."

Pagsapit ng alas-sais, dumiretso kami sa mansyon ng mga Filimon at laking gulat ko nang makita sina Mommy at Daddy na kumakain na kasama sina Tito Ivan at Tita Janice.

Mabilis akong humalik sa pisngi nina Mommy at Daddy, si Jethro naman ay humalik din sa pisngi ng Mommy niya at nagmano sa Daddy niya. 

"You're late!" Tito Ivan chuckled, looking at Jethro sharply. Noon ay aakalain kong nagbibiro lang si Tito pero ngayon, hindi ko na alam. 

"I'm sorry, Dad. The streets have been too congested lately," Jethro bowed his head down a little and pulled out a chair for both of us. Nakaharap kami sa direksyon nina Mommy at Daddy habang nasa magkabilang unahan naman sina Tito at Tita.

As we proceeded to eat, hindi ko mapigilang mapatanong kay Daddy.

"Akala ko po next week pa kayo darating?" I let out a confused yet happy smile at my parents.

Dad raised his wine glass, swirling it. "Ivan had a business proposal for us and your Mom and I have finally made up our decision."

Nagkatinginan kami ni Jethro. Tumingin ako ulit kay Daddy at pinigilan ang sarili kong magkunot-noo. "W-what's it about po?"

"Sweetie." Mom smiled at me, her eyes beaming with excitement. "Your Dad and I decided to build a mall here with the Filimons. We figured, since we have supermarkets and dealerships already, how about we try the next big thing?"

I felt like cold water was poured over me. My heart hammered against my chest. The thought of my parents being tied to the Filimons, paralyzing me.

"Silver, close your mouth, you're going to catch flies," Dad joked at doon ko lang napasin na nanigas pala ako sa kinauupuan at naiwang nakaawang ang bibig.

"A-are you sure?" my broken voice escaped, almost like air.

Naramdaman ko ang paghawak ni Jethro sa kamay ko pero hindi ko siya magawang hawakan pabalik o matingnan man lang. He caressed my thumb lightly.

Humalakhak si Tito Ivan. "Why won't we be? This will also be a good thing considering you and my son are bound to marry each other. Sa tagal na ninyo."

Napakurapkurap ako. Ni pumeke ng ngiti, hindi ko magawa.

"You have plans to marry each other right?" Tita Janice jokingly asked.

"Of course they have!" Humalakhak ulit si Tito. "Hindi sila tatagal kung wala naman silang balak. Siguro hinihintay lang ni Jethro na maka-graduate itong si Silver. Tama ba ako, hijo?"

From my periphery, I saw Jethro nod. "When the right time comes."

"Tama nga 'yan. 'Wag padalos-dalos." Daddy agreed, smiling at me. 

My eyes twitched as my lips stretched to a smile. Pakiramdam ko ay maiiyak na ako kaya pilit kong hinihigit ang hininga upang mapigilan ang sariling maluha. 

"They've been together for two years. Every day is the right time," biro ni Tito sabay simsim mula sa kanyang wine glass. "A nurse and a cop, soon, a doctor and a general. Oh, how great that sounds."

"You're proceeding to medicine, Silver?" Mom was left in awe.

No. That's not part of the plan.

"Isn't that the perfect path?" Tito insisted. "We haven't had a doctor in the family before. She'd be the first."

Dad cleared his throat. "Being a nurse is consuming enough, paano na lang kaya kung magdo-doctor? Kung ako lang talaga ang masusunod, gugustuhin kong mag-focus na lang 'tong unica hija namin sa business."

"That's what I thought as well!" Tito remarked. "Nagtaka nga ako bakit n'yo siya hinayaang maging nurse."

"Hay, kung alam mo lang. Hindi ako relihiyosong tao pero ilang santo ang dinasalan ko para lang matauhan 'tong anak ko, pero wala pa rin." Dad sighed heavily, shaking his head as if I've been such an enormous burden to him.

"Sayang..." Umiling-iling si Tito, natatawa. "She could've reached her full potential."

"Sayang nga." Tita Janice commented as well, being Tito's second voice, as always. 

"But at the end of the day, that's what our daughter wants and it's all that matters." Mom laughed awkwardly and squeezed dad's arm. "'Di ba, Neil?"

"Ah oo!" Mabilis na bawi ni Daddy sabay halakhak. "My wife's right. At the end of the day, whatever makes our daughter happy."

I looked at Jethro who was still eating. He only paused when he realized that I was looking at him. He just smiled at me.

My chest felt like it was going to burst. I quickly let go of Jethro's hand and stood up. "I don't feel so good. Mauna na po ako. Maraming salamat."

My head felt so heavy that I didn't even bother to wait or listen to their reaction. Dire-diretso akong naglakad, nag-uumapaw sa sama ng loob. Nahinto lamang ako nang biglang may humigit si braso ko. Hindi ko na kinailangang lumingon pa para malamang si Jethro ito.

"Hey, what's going on?" may pag-aalala sa boses niya. 

"I just want to go home," giit ko.

He moistened his lips and nodded. "Let's go so you can rest."

Hindi ako kumikibo habang nasa loob ng sasakyan, diretso lamang ang tingin ko, pilit na pinipigilan ang emosyon ko sa pamamagitan ng pagkuyom ng mga kamao ko.

"Are you upset because of what our Fathers said?" he asked gently while throwing glances at me.

"Yes," pag-amin ko.

"Don't mind it, Stoney. You're a few steps away into becoming a nurse. You can always proceed to business afterwards."

Napapikit ako nang mariin. Hindi iyon ang gusto kong marinig.

Nakagat ko ang labi ko. "Pinagsabihan ako ng mga magulang mo nang magkita kami last week. Alam mo ba bakit?"

Hininto ni Jethro sa isang tabi ang sasakyan. He shifted his weight on his seat to face me. "Bakit? Anong nangyari?" 

"They're upset over the fact that I was working at the club." I looked at him hoping to hear the right words from him. "Absurd, right?"

Jethro took a deep breath and sighed, grabbing a hold of my hand. "Stoney, Mom and Dad are just trying to look out for you. Parang pamilya na rin kasi ang tingin nil sa'yo."

"So you agree with them? That I shouldn't be in that club?" My voice came out cold.

He caressed my cheek, looking at me straight in the eyes. "Ayoko na pumupunta ka roon dahil delikado. Most of the people there are drunk and obnoxious. I don't want anyone to have the chance of taking advantage of you.

My heart continued to hurt at his answer. "If that's how you feel, then why didn't you say anything back then?"

"Because I don't have the right to," aniya. "I was always worried about you but I couldn't say anything because we weren't even friends."

"So that's why you were always at the club?" Nangilid ang mga luha ko.

"Stoney, okay lang sa akin na nandoon ka basta kasama ako," giit niya kaya tumango na lamang ako at umiwas ulit ng tingin.

Jethro kept holding my hand and trying to spark small talk but I remained silent, only uttering short answers while choking on my tears, trying hard not to cry right in front of him.

Huminto ang sasakyan at nagtaka ako dahil sa condo niya kami dumating.

"You haven't eaten yet. Ipagluluto kita," he said before I could even ask.

Hawak niya ang kamay ko habang paakyat pero hindi ko pa rin siya magawang hawakan o tingnan man lang. Nang makarating sa unit niya, dumiretso siya sa kusina at ako naman ay naupo sa sofa.

Habang naghihintay, napansin ko ang malaking salamin na nasa tabi ng bintana. Parang may sariling isip ang mga paa ko na tumayo at lumapit rito.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I'm wearing a green flowy dress that reaches my toes while a necklace made of the finest pearls is around my neck. My ears and wrist are flaunting the same luxurious jewelry that was handed over by the Filimons. And my hair... it's long, brown, and curly, similar to what Tita Janice had on their old family portraits.

I stared at my reflection for a long time until I felt my tears roll down my cheek.

"Hey food is ready." Jethro appeared from behind me. He smiled, placing his warm hands above my bare shoulders.

I turned around to face him. 

The smile on his face disappeared when he saw my tears. His hands dropped to my cheek, wiping them. 

I took a step back and wiped my own tears. 

His eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't see myself anymore," I said with tears in my eyes.

"Silver..." He took a step forward and I quickly took a step back.

I took a deep breath and swallowed my cry. "We have to do the right thing even if it feels wrong — you said it yourself."

"Silver, I don't like where this is going," he said in a low voice with a look of worry in his eyes.

"I don't like where this is going, too." I closed my eyes shut, letting go of my tears. "When I first came to Filimon Heights, all I wanted was freedom. I was so desperate to live my own life and achieve my dreams that I went against my parents' wishes, but when I fell in love with you, my world just revolved around you, so much that I let myself become someone that I don't like just so I can be deemed worthy of you."

I opened my eyes again just to see Jethro looking at me helplessly. Despite my aching heart, I clenched my fists.

"Akala ko sapat na 'yung mahal natin ang isa't isa, pero hindi eh. Sorry, hindi ko talaga kaya. Mahal kita pero hindi ko kayang maging isang Filimon lalo na't pakiramdam ko, mag-isa lang akong pinapaglaban ang sarili ko." 

"Silver..." The moment I saw tears brimming in Jethro's eyes, I quickly looked away. 

"I came to Filimon Heights to escape my family's manipulative clutches only to end up in another one. What makes it worse is the fact that you'll always be on your Father's side and never mine." I took a deep breath, wiping my tears again. "I love you, Jethro, but I have to end this before it's too late."

"Please don't..." He shook his head.

I shook my head, pressing my lips together to stop myself from sobbing. "It's over between us."

 | end of 60 - thank you |