chapter theme : losing you - you me at six

"It's not a date-date! It's a fucking figure of speech!" Napabangon ako nang wala sa oras dahil sa napagtanto. Puchangama, good thing I researched about it online! 

"Ano? Speech? Ha?" Narinig ko ang wala sa sariling pagsasalita ni Reika. Nagising ito dahil sa akin kaya naman dali-dali akong bumaba sa hagdan at tinabihan siya sa kama niya.

"Wala, tulog ka lang, wala kang narinig," I said gently as I tried to soothe her back to sleep. Naging masunurin naman ang demonya at unti-unting pumikit hanggang sa muling makatulog.

Kumuha ako ng mga unan at kumot, saka tinabihan si Reika sa kama niya tutal sobra ko siyang na-miss.  Tinakpan ko ng kumot ang mukha niya para masigurong hindi siya biglang sisilip sa cellphone ko. May pagka-ninja rin kasi si Reika, bigla-biglang nagigising kaya mabuti nang sigurado.

Huminga ako nang malalim nang maging komportable na sa pagkakahiga. I raised my phone above my face and squinted at the light emanating from the screen. 

"Puchangama," bulong ko sa sarili ko nang makitang alas kwatro na pala ng umaga. I didn't get to sleep because of his message! I can't blame him though, ako naman 'tong masyadong assuming. I'm so dumb to even consider the idea of him trying to ask me out. I mean we're like best friends. He already saw me at my worst, the guy even knows the worst things about me — pretty sure he'll never be interested in me and the feeling is mutual.

Jethro:

sure

it's a date then

12:01 AM

Jethro:

hey?

nakatulog ka na siguro

good night

4:05 AM

Silver:

1am pala ang out ko sa hospital bukas

i mean, mamaya

re-sched?

Jethro:

it's okay

may basketball practice din naman kami

sakto lang

Silver:

that's 1 am

are you sure?

Jethro:

absolutely

Silver:

ano palang meron?

Jethro:

saan?

Silver:

nevermind

ba't gising ka pa?

Jethro:

woke up early to study

how about you?

Silver:

Same

Jethro:

saan mo gusto mamaya?

Silver:

i thought we're already going to the library?

Jethro:

right haha sorry

Silver:

ok study ka na 

tulog na rin ako

Jethro:

i thought you were going to study?

"Puchangama..." namura ko ang sarili ko nang mapagtanto ang pagkakamali ko.

"Fried Chicken ko..." I heard Reika mumble in her sleep and saw her yank the blanket away from her face kaya naman pasimple ko itong itinakip ulit sa mukha niya.

"Shhh..." Tinapik ko ang tiyan niya gamit ang isang kamay, at nag-reply gamit ang kabila.

Silver:

changed my mind antok na ako

Jethro:

ok

sleep well

Silver:

ok

Sinubukan kong matulog ngunit wala pang isang oras ay nagising na ako. Hindi na ako makabalik sa pagtulog kaya naman bumaba muna ako sa sala para maghanda ng hot choco. 

"Good Morning." Nakangiting bati sa akin ni Slade pero inirapan ko lang siya.

"Sungit." Umingos siya pero hindi ko na pinansin. 

Habang inihahanda ko ang inumin ko, napansin ko ang pagtabi sa akin ni Slade dala ang chopping block, kutsilyo, at ingredients ng mga lulutuin niya. He's basically the cook of the house. 

"Nakita kong hinatid ka ulit ni Jethro kagabi. Close n'yo na ah?" pabiro niyang tanong sabay siko sa akin. Pasimple pa kung mang-usisa.

"Close n'yo na rin sana ni Reika, kaso ngayon hangin ka na lang sa kanya," ganti ko sabay irap ulit sa kanya. 

Bumusangot siya. "Si Jethro ang pinag-uusapan."

"At bakit naman natin pag-uusapan ang batong 'yon?" I spat out sarcastically. 

Bumuntong-hininga si Slade, parang napipikon na sa paraan ng pagsagot ko sa kanya. Buti nga. 

"Look, I know I disappointed you so many times already, but I'm still your older brother--"

"For like 7 minutes!" pabalang kong paalala.

"So what? I'm still your brother, Silver. You can't stop me from looking out for you. Come on, what happened to the good old days? What happened to Twins against the world? Hindi ba tayo ang magkasangga--"

"Whatever." I cut him off again and walked away. Bahala siya sa buhay niya. Minsan talaga nakakaubos na siya ng pasensya.

Bumawi ako sa mga araw na absent ako kaya naman naging sobrang abala ng araw ko. I spent my morning hanging out with both Reika and Slade, lectures in the afternoon, few hours duty sa club, tapos dumiretso na sa hospital para sa shift ko. It was tedious but knowing I have my friends, and Slade, to lean on, I know I can survive.

Colette and I were hanging out in the hospital lounge, waiting for tasks to be given to us, when all of a sudden my phone vibrated from inside my pocket. It was incessant, making me realize that it's a call.

I looked around, making sure that no one will see my other than Colette, before fetching out my phone.

It's a call from an unknown number, and for some reason, I felt uneasy. I could feel my heartbeat race fast.

"Hello?" I answered and swallowed hard like there's a lump in my throat all of a sudden.

"Si Silverianne Villafranca po ba ito?" tanong ng isang lalake mula sa kabilang linya. Hindi ito pamilyar at lalo pa akong kinabahan dahil sa tono ng pananalita nito.

"Opo, bakit po?" I tried to sound calm. Colette looked at me with a questioning look but my attention remained on the other line.

"Nakita ko po kasi na ikaw ang emergency contact ni Mr. Slade Villafranca--"

"Anong nangyari sa kapatid ko?!" Pinanlamigan ako ng buong katawan at parang nanghina ang mga tuhod ko sa sobrang takot. 

"Ma'am, may nangyari po kasing aksidente at nasa Filimon Heights General Hospital po siya ngayon."

***

"Slade, sorry..." Walang tigil sa pagpatak ang mga luha ko habang pinagmamasdan ang walang malay na si Slade habang nakaratay sa kama. They already told me that he's going to be okay, but I still can't stop crying and worrying over him. I almost lost him.

 Awang-awa ako sa kapatid ko dahil sa sinapit niya pero mas lalo pa akong nanlumo nang mapagtantong na-injure niya ang braso niya. God knows how much he fought for his dreams, only to end up like this.

Hindi ko na mapigilan ang emosyon ko kaya naman lumabas muna ako ng kwarto. Saktong dumating si Reika kaya naman agad akong nagtatakbo patungo sa kanya at niyakap siya nang mahigpit. Sa pagkakataong ito ay tuluyan akong napahagulgol.

"W-what happened?" mangiyak-ngiyak na tanong ni Reika sa akin. Siya ang unang tinawagan ko habang nasa taxi ako kanina. She looks just as shocked and distraught as I am.

"S-sabi ng mga pulis binangga raw ang sasakyan ni Slade ng isang van. They said it was a miracle that he only got minor injuries." Pilit akong nagsalita habang humahangos. Pinupunasan ko ang mga luha ko ngunit sadyang ayaw nitong huminto. 

Sinubukan kong ngumiti ngunit nauwi pa rin ito sa isang iyak. "I should be happy that he's okay but part of me is still torn over the fact that I almost lost him tonight."

Reika cried and hugged me tightly. In her arms, I gave into my emotions and cried even harder. "I kept trying to remember the last thing I told him and I couldn't even remember what it was... I didn't even bother saying 'goodbye' to him when I left the house earlier. I kept giving him the cold shoulder, yelling at him for the pettiest things, blaming him for everything. I kept making him feel that I hate him but I don't really hate him! He's my other half and I can't even picture life without him!"

Reika and I cried in each other's arms. In a way, despite our own heartaches, we found comfort in each other.

Pumasok kami ulit ni Reika sa kwarto at doon ay napansin ko ang lalong pagbuhos ng luha ni Reika. I noticed how she suddenly froze, like she couldn't breathe. 

"Rei, are you okay?" I called out to her especially when I saw her fists trembling.

"Y-yeah.." Humarap sa akin si Reika at tumango-tango. 

I pointed out her trembling fists, worried about her. However, she just smiled and asked to borrow my phone. Ipinahiram ko na lamang ito sa kanya at hinayaan siyang lumabas nang mag-isa dahil ayon sa kanya ay may tatawagan daw siya.

Nang kami na lamang ulit ni Slade, naupo ako ulit sa gilid niya at hinawakan ang kamay niyang lupaypay. "Please be okay... please be okay..."

I uttered my silent prayers while holding his hand. I prayed and prayed, not just for the healing of his injuries but of his heart as well. After all, the injury will definitely derail him from his music. 

I didn't leave Slade's side. I kept holding his hand, praying like I've never prayed before, until all of a sudden I saw his eyelids move until he eventually got to open his eyes.

"Slade!" Napaiyak ako lalo at napayakap sa kanya.

"Aray..." He chuckled. 

"Sorry..." Panay ang paghingi ko ng tawad sa kanya habang nakayakap pa rin sa kanya. Wala na akong pakialam kahit makita niya akong umiiyak. So what? he's my brother and I love him. 

"A-anong nangyari?" He sounded so weak and confused.

Humiwalay ako mula sa kanya at pinunasan ang mga luha ko. "May puchangamang bumangga sa inyo ni Brownie. Humanda sa akin ang gagong 'yon!" 

"S-Sil 'wag mong tatawagan sina Mommy at Daddy please..." pakiusap niya at nakita ko ang labis na pag-aalala sa mukha niya.

Mabilis akong tumango-tango at ngumiti. "Don't worry. Hindi ko sila tinawagan. Kaya natin 'to na tayo-tayo lang. Wala nang sisihan o gaguhan. It's Twins against the world. Always."

Slade smiled and I saw his eyes water. "Twins against the world."

I smiled as I cried once again. Yayakapin ko ulit sana siya nang bigla kong naalala ang doktor. Dali-dali akong nagpaalam kay Slade na tatawagin muna ang doktor at pati na rin si Reika.

***

"D-doc hindi ko maigalaw ang kamay ko!" Paulit-ulit na bumabalik sa isipan ko ang takot sa mukha ni Slade. Kahit na anong gawin ko, hindi pa rin ako mapalagay lalo't alam kong labis na nagdurusa ang kakambal ko.

"Sil... Sil, your phone keeps vibrating. May tumatawag yata sa'yo..." I snapped out from my reverie when I heard Reika's hoarse voice.

Natagpuan ko ang sarili ko sa labas ng private room ni Slade kasama si Reika. She called her Dad kaya naman ito muna ang kasama ng kapatid ko sa loob. Uncle Rico isn't related to us but to Slade he's like his second Father, kaya alam kong isa ito sa mga taong makakapagpagaan sa kalooban niya. I'd love to stay by Slade's side pero ayaw tumigil ng mga luha ko. I won't be much help for now, both Reika and I, kaya lumabas muna kami upang pakalmahin ang mga sarili namin.

Kinuha ko ang cellphone mula sa bulsa ko at nakita kong si Jethro ang tumatawag. Nagulat ako lalo na nang maalala ang usapan namin.

Dali-dali akong tumayo sabay sagot ng tawag habang naglalakad patungo sa direksyon ng hagdan kung saan malayo ako sa pandinig ng lahat.

"I'm at the parking lot with some buffalo wings and plastic gloves so we won't get--"

"I can't go. I'm sorry." I tried to bottle up my emotions but to no avail.

"Hey what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I heard him say from the other line.

Naupo ako sa hagdanan at nasapo ang noo ko. "Slade got into an accident. He's okay, but he injured his arm. God, I don't even know if he can ever play his guitar."

"Saang hospital? I'm on my way."

"On Filimon Heights General," I answered while trying to stop myself from crying. "Ang fucked up lang na sobrang saya ko kahapon tapos ngayon, heto na naman. Parang ang hirap nang maging masaya kung may kapalit naman pala."

"Remember what you told me back in that accident?" he said.

"Ano?" Napapikit ako.

"You'll be alright, Silverianne," aniya at kahit papaano ay gumaan ang kalooban ko.

"Thank you..." I pressed my lips together, trying to stop myself from sobbing. "For always being there when I need someone to lean on."

"Anything for you," aniya. 

"Re-schedule na lang talaga 'yong hangout natin sa library." I joked while wiping my tears.

"Yeah... hangout." I heard him chuckle.

| End of 37 - Thank you! |