Chapter theme : Waves - Fragile - gnash ft wrenn

happy new year!

Reika:

If u can read this, I guess this means I didn't smash your phone that well. Sayang

Don't feel bad if the screen cracked though, be thankful that isn't your face

If u want a replacement phone, ask my dad for a new one tutal close kayo

you twins better not talk to me again

btw, please go to hell :)

My tears kept falling while reading Reika's message to Slade. My hands kept trembling, unable to hold Slade's phone tighter. It breaks my heart knowing my worst fears have come true. Reika hates me. I lost her.

"Silver, stop crying. Everything will be okay. Reika will come through." Slade knelt right in front of me, wiping my tears and taking his phone from my trembling hand. "Kakausapin ko siya. For now she's not answering my calls but I will find a way to get to her."

"Sh-she hates..." The words won't even come out of my mouth.

"No, she doesn't. She loves you. She only hates me. See, she even sent the message to me. Hindi sa'yo," he assured me with a small smile on his face.

All of a sudden, all of my sorrows turned into anger. 

"You are my brother. Family protects each other, but why do you always end up becoming the reason for all my pain? Why do you always have to ruin my life?" My voice came out low and trembling. I couldn't look at Slade anymore so I stood up and walked idly for the stairs. 

"Silver..." I heard Slade call out my name but I just kept on walking. 

I can't look at him anymore. I hate him.

I locked myself inside my bedroom but ended up crying even more at the sight of Reika's bed.

My knees lost strength and I sat down the floor, bawling. Moments like this, when things take a turn for the worst, I cling to Reika for support and cry on her shoulder. But now, I have no one else anymore. I'm alone again.

"Silver. Silver come on, you have to eat. Just open the door." All-day I kept hearing Slade's pleas from outside the door but I remained in bed, immobile. I don't have the strength to move or get up. Eating is the last thing on my mind.

Next thing I know I could see the light of day passing through my window. I closed my eyes, trying to sleep once again when I heard my phone ring. I tried to ignore it but the possibility for it to be Reika crossed my mind - I guess it was also my wishful thinking. 

"Rei?" wala sa sarili kong bulalas nang sinagot ito. Hindi ko man lang tiningnan ang caller ID.

"Mabuti naman at sumagot ka na. Kahapon pa ako text nang text sa'yo. Akala ko napano ka na. First time mong umabsent nang whole day ah? Anong oras na, hindi ka rin ba papasok ngayon?" I heard Collette's voice from the other side, making me sigh in frustration. "I tried asking Reika kanina kung nasaan ka pero di niya ako pinansin. Nag-away ba kayo?"

The mention of Reika jolted my senses. "She's at school?"

"Oo, parang wala nga sa sarili." 

I ended the call and quickly went to the bathroom to prepare. By the time I'm at school, pumunta ako kung saan-saan para hanapin siya at nang hindi ko siya makita ay dumiretso na lamang ako sa locker area. Alam kong may P.E class siya ngayon at sigurado akong dadaan siya sa locker niya. Naupo ako sa isang tabi at naghintay, walang pakialam kahit gaano pa ito katagal.

Habang naghihintay, nag-iisip ako kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. Makalipas ang ilang oras, nakita ko siyang paparating.

My heart leaped at the sight of her but it sank at the way she looked at me. It was full of hate and resentment. 

She walked up to her locker and opened it. I took a deep breath and still took my chance. I stood up and approached her, trying to keep myself together.

"I know you're mad and I'm really really really sorry." Wala sa mga pinractice ko ang lumabas sa bibig ko dahil sa sobrang kaba at desperasyon. Pilit kong pinigilan ang mga luha ko dahil alam kong oras na maiyak ako, maaring hindi na ako makapagsalita pa. Maaring hindi ko na masabi ang mga gusto kong sabihin.

"Okay." Reika smiled and nodded while placing books inside her locker. All without looking at me.

Her smile and calmness scared me even more, but it didn't stop me from having a shred of hope.

"S-so we're okay?" I asked, hesitantly.

Reika just continued to smile, still without looking at me. My hope disappeared at an instant. She hates me. I can see it in her eyes. 

She's trying to ignore me and it hurts like hell.

"Reika I know you're mad at me, pero please naman kausapin mo ako oh," I begged as my eyes began to water, my breathing becoming ragged. Pakiramdam ko'y sasabog na ang puso ko sa sobrang kaba at sakit.

Tumawa lang si Reika at sinara ang pinto ng locker niya, pati na ng zipper ng backpack niya. 

"Reika!" I called out to her desperately when she began walking away. "Reika, magsalita ka naman oh!" I begged. 

I grabbed ahold of her arm and she quickly turned, slapping my hand and pulling her hand back. She looked at me with so much rage. I've seen her become angry before, but not like this.

"I was taught to keep my mouth shut when I don't have anything good to say so don't try me, Villafranca because I am just holding the devil back," she said with gritted teeth and tensed-up jaw. 

I could only look at her as my knees weakened and my eyes blur with tears. Napakasakit. "R-Reika I know I should've told you--"

"Alam mo naman pala eh..." Reika spat out sarcastically and dramatically.

"Reika, it was Slade's idea!" I cried out of desperation. 

Please stop hating me. Please be my friend again.

"Last time I checked, it was you who offered me to live with you. You knew who I was, Silver. It couldn't be fate. No sane person would invite a stranger as a roommate. You always knew who I was and I was a fool to believe your lies," she said while looking at me in the eyes. Her head held high with a smile on her face. "Don't worry, you're not entirely accountable. Kasalanan ko rin naman kasi nagpauto ako sa inyo. Now do me a favor and stay the hell away from me, you and Slade. God knows how much I want to punch the daylights out of you so don't try me, bitch."

I froze in utter distraught and disbelief as tears continued to stream down my face. 

Reika turned but before she could take another step, she faced me once again. "And oh, tell Dad he's got nothing to worry about. Even if I was from a broken family, My Grandparents gave me all the love I ever needed. I don't fucking need him. I don't even need your charity of friendship either."

She walked away and I couldn't do anything but cry. My heart couldn't take in anymore so I turned my back to run but fell on the floor when I suddenly bumped into someone. 

"Sorry! Anong nangyari? Ba't kayo nag-aaway ni Reika?" I heard Riley's voice as he pulled me up. I couldn't talk or even look at him. By the time I was up, I continued running away.

Takbo ako nang takbo habang pinupunasan ang mga luha kong patuloy sa pagpatak. Huminto lamang ako nang hindi na ako makahinga. My lungs felt like it was burning so I sat down the pavement lifelessly, chasing my breath as I cried. 

"Silver, stand up. Come on, let's go." I heard a familiar voice. It a baritone and gentle one.

I looked up and rubbed my watery eyes, only to see Jethro sitting right in front of me, chasing his breath as well. I looked around and was surprised to see that I'm already outside the University premises and I'm just sitting down a random sidewalk. 

I wanted to ask him what he's doing or why he's here but I couldn't stop crying. Fuck.

"Let's get you out of here, okay?" he asked gently as he held me by the arm and waist, guiding me to stand up.

Wala ako sa sariling sumunod sa kanya hanggang sa papasukin niya ako sa passenger seat ng sasakyan niya. Iyak pa rin ako ng iyak kaya siya na ang nagkabit ng seatbelt ko.

Namulat ako nang maramdaman ko ang malamig na hanging humahaplos sa mukha ko. May naririnig din akong tila ba mga alon at huni ng ibon kaya naman kumurap-kurap ako't laking gulat ko nang makita ang dagat.

Nasapo ko na lamang ang ulo ko nang mapagtanto kong nakaupo pa rin pala ako sa loob ng sasakyan ni Jethro. 

"Nakatulog ka sa kaiiyak." Narinig ko ang boses ni Jethro. Humilig ako sa direksyon niya at nakita ko siyang nakaupo lang habang nakatanaw sa dagat.

"I'm sorry.." My voice was hoarse and my throat feels sore from all the crying. Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko, lalo na ng ulo ko. 

"What happened back there? I've never seen you cry before." Humilig siya sa direksyon ko at umiwas agad ako nang tingnan niya ako sa mga mata.

"You haven't been answering my texts. Reika, too," he said. "Did something happen?"

I nodded. "I fucked up." I bit my lower lip as my eyes watered once again. "Reika hates me now."

From my periphery, I saw him nod. "That's friendship. Ups and downs."

"You don't get it." Tumingin ulit ako sa kanya. "I fucked up bigtime. This isn't some misunderstanding, Filimon."

"How long have you known Reika?" he asked.

"About two years?" My forehead creased.

"I've known Reika since we were kids, so believe me when I say that she'll come around. Just give her time to think," he said reassuringly. 

"You don't even know why she's angry at me." Napasinghal ako.

"You're right, I don't. But I know how much you love her, it's not like you'll do something horrible to her," he retorted. 

"I already did something horrible." I took a deep breath, pressed my lips together as I tried to wipe my tears away. "When my brother ran away from home, Uncle Rico took him in - Reika's Father. When Slade learned that I'm in Filimon Heights, he talked me into offering Reika to be my roommate. All in his attempt to help Uncle Rico and Reika reconcile. And that's what I fucking did, I fucking offered Reika to be my roommate."

"What's so wrong with that? If anything, you and Slade were just trying to help," Jethro said, taking me by surprise. "Besides, it's not like you only cared for her because you were asked to." His hand suddenly reached for my face, I flinched a little but then realized that he was only wiping my tears. Ni Hindi ko namalayang umiiyak na pala ako ulit.

"But it's different in Reika's shoes." I argued. "Reika was abandoned by her father. She hates him and that taints everything. She'll think I'm in cahoots with the guy who broke her heart."

"Reika will come around," Jethro assured me once again. "Is that why you wanted to keep your brother a secret at first? Because of his connection to Reika's Dad?"

I nodded. Umiwas ako ng tingin at dumungaw na lamang sa bintana at pinagmasdan ang mga alon na humahampas sa dalampasigan.

"Do you know how bad it feels to be looked at by someone you love with so much hate?" I asked as my tears fall once again.

Hindi siya kumibo kaya naman tumingin ako ulit sa kanya. "It hurts a fucking lot."

Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa labas ng bintana at bumuntong-hininga. Laging bumabalik sa isipan ko ang mga sinabi ni Reika kaya naman maya't-maya kong napapapikit, pilit na winawakli ito sa isip ko dahil sobrang sakit na.

"You'll be alright, Silverianne." I heard him say.

I choked back tears as I tried to speak, "I don't think so."

I heard his seatbelt unbuckle. I opened my eyes only to see Jethro unbuckling mine as well. "Come on, the beach is more relaxing up close. Don't mope."

My tears continued to fall as I stared at the waves crashing against the shore. Jethro stood next to me, silent as usual. The beach is beautiful up close alright, but it doesn't make me feel any fucking better.

"Hindi ko alam na iyakin ka," he commented all of a sudden and placed his hand on top of my head, patting it lightly.

"Mukha ba akong aso, Filimon?" I glared at him.

He shook his head without even looking at me. "Mukha kang multo."

"Mukha ka ring multo, multo ng isang striktong principal," ganti ko.

He chuckled and pushed his glasses further to his face. "That's a cool concept."

Gagong Gori.

I sighed and looked up at him. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this."

"You saw me in worse, Silver," he retorted.

Bahagya akong natawa. "Right. Your face, when the needle broke, was priceless."

"You just really had to bring that up." He looked at me flatly.

"What? Cute ka naman do'n," I joked.

Umingos siya at umiwas ng tingin. Nahiya pa.

|End of 34 - Thank you |