🥷

The session ended thirty minutes later. Talia did not feel any different, but she thought it was normal, given it was only the first try. As she meditated more, she would feel the change.

She picked herself up from the floor, said her goodbye to Yoshi, and went to leave, but Leo also got up and followed her.

"For someone who has never meditated before, you didn't do too bad," Leo said, taking off his haōri.

"Thank you," Talia said. "You seem to be the master of it."

Leo scratched the back of his neck. "Eh, I can't compete with my father; he's been doing it for God knows how long."

"I did not realize how difficult it would be," Talia admitted. "It was like trying to spend time alone with a whole clutter in my head."

"And that's completely normal," Leo assured with a smile. "With some practice and trying out new techniques, the sessions will be more easier for you."

Talia tucked a curly lock behind her ear. "I wanted to say that I appreciated your words earlier. It was something I needed to hear."

Leo's face turned into one of surprise. He was not expecting Talia to say that, but he cleared his throat and said, "Oh, no problem. You're going through an extremely hard time right now. Anyone can see that."

What Leo said really resonated with her. The way he chose his words and was able to describe the same feelings she was going through . . . Could it be that he knew exactly what Talia was talking about because he went through something like this before? Unless he was a professor on sleep and trauma-related nightmares.

"Have you ever experienced a nightmare so intense, that it kept you up at night?" Talia asked out of the blue.

While Leo's expression remained dry and clear like glass, but his eyes told a different story— like he had been dragged into a time machine and looked back at old memories. "Plenty. A few years back. I don't dream about them right now, but I know they're waiting to resurface."

That was the power trauma had. You never knew when it would come back to haunt you; just one little trigger on a normal day was enough to make the body feel like it was reliving that distressing moment.

"In your dreams, where there things that just did not make sense to you? And after it was over, you tried to come up with every possible answer, hoping it was the one?"

Leo deeply exhaled, crossing his arms. "A few times, yeah. I even tried changing the ending to some of them, but it made no difference. Each one ended worse than the last."

"Did they ever change?"

"Not until I figured out what my nightmares were trying to tell me. Then it all became clear."

"I just hope I can figure out what message mine is trying to get to me."

"I have a feeling you will," Leo said resolutely. "You just have to look harder."

Talia nodded, and that was when the conversation died down. Truthfully, her recent nightmare was still on her mind. She still could not understand why her body recognized those emotions and sensations as if she had been in that situation before. She had never seen those blue flowers before in her life. And the outfit she had on? She certainly had enough memory to know if she bought and wore a certain outfit, but with this one there was no such thing. But then why did it feel as though she had? Something was missing.

After moments of silence, Leo decided to say as if reading her thoughts, "I think I have something that will help if you continue to have these nightmares."

Talia blinked. Her and Leo departed together from the dojo and once making it to the living room, told her to wait there while he went to his room to retrieve the item. She settled down on the couch, waiting for his return. A standing photo frame on the coffee table grabbed her interest. Upon zooming in on it, she saw that it was Yoshi and his five children— posing and making funny faces (particularly the five). It did not look like your typical family portrait, but in Talia's opinion, the imperfections was what made the picture look perfect; seeing a moment of carefreeness and happiness captured would no doubt make anyone feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Mr. Hamato could not have had it easy for all these years. Raising one child alone is already difficult, but raising five while being a single father? If it were anyone else, they would probably be driven insane. . .

Talia heard footsteps coming from nearby, so she diverted her attention away from the photograph and looked up to find Leo reaching the bottom of the stairs with a cardboard box in his hands.

"When Mikey and Donnie first moved into our home, Mikey was always convinced that there were monsters hiding under the bed and in the closet," Leo began, setting the box on top of the couch, "so he was really afraid of the dark. To help him overcome his fear, I let him use these."

Talia peeked inside the box, staring down at a collection of nightlights, including glow-in-the-dark stars and even a star projector. It definitely was not what she expected Leo to give her.

"Although Mikey doesn't use them anymore, I still kept them around," Leo further explained. "Just in case. I just thought that since you're having these nightmares. . . Maybe the nightlights could help you bear the nights a little better."

"Oh, um, thank you. But you shouldn't have." Talia blushed. She felt that it was unnecessary for Leo to go out of his way to help her, considering it was for something silly, but perhaps he was right. With an evil clan after her and nightmares plaguing her mind, she no longer felt safe when asleep. And who knew? Maybe she would finally get a good night's rest.

"No, I insist," Leo urged. "You can take the whole box and use as many as you want."

It was the thought that counts. Talia smiled shyly. "I just feel embarrassed. . ."

"Don't be. Everyone gets nightmares— even the most strongest of people."

"Well, thank you. That's really nice of you." Talia grabbed the box and was about to head for the door. Before she did, though, she whirled her head around and said, "I also forgot to mention, Leo, that I liked your oil painting that was in the hallway."

Leo's eyebrows curved. "How do you—" then, as if already figuring it out, he groaned, "—argh, Mikey."

Talia giggled. "You are a very good painter, Leo. All I have to say is to keep doing what you are doing."

Leo's cheeks slightly tinted red. Talia smiled one last time and left.

***

Raph's POV

Raph already wanted to drop dead as soon he read the first sentence out of his chemistry textbook. He tried to busy his mind with homework, but his motivation to study disappeared as soon as he opened the textbook. It was beyond his comprehension how anyone could enjoy reading about science. Just what was so fulfilling about atomic structures and chemical bonding? Was it possible that this was used as a torture method in prison?

If I pay Donnie 20 bucks, would he do my homework for me? Raph groaned and let his forehead hit the kitchen table. Fantastic. Now I'm gonna die stupid.

As he continued to wallow in his hole of educational misery, his phone out of nowhere blared loudly. Without looking up, he simply extended a hand, swiped his finger, and pressed the speaker button.

"Hello?" He answered flatly.

"Raph?" The voice was immediately recognizable.

"Oh. Leo." Raph straightened his back and put the phone to his ear. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to call and see how things were. It's been a busy day."

Leo was now a first-year university student, studying and majoring business & finance at Columbia University. He actually got accepted with a scholarship to go to other prestige universities like Harvard and Stanford, but the thought of being so far away already had him feeling homesick.

"How's university?" Raph asked.

"Campus is amazing! I'm still trying to adjust, but. . ."

Raph listened to Leo's anecdotes about his classes, professors, and pretty much anything and everything that had to with his new college life. Secretly, Raph wanted to know everything for when it was his time to go to college. Of course, he doubted an Ivy League university would accept his application, considering his grade track list were mostly made up of B's, with a sprinkle of C's (he always got A's in English), but he always dreamed of going to college with a good English program.

"Wait, what? Seriously?" Raph snorted after hearing how Leo ended up in the wrong classroom.

"Never again, dude. I thought the professor was going to behead me! But anyway, what about you? Roosevelt Prep treating you good?"

"Don't get me started! The homework is insane. The projects? Double insane. And the tests? Pshh." Raph coughed and then mimicked in his best strict teacher voice: "Write down the name of every President of the United States, the day they were born, their life growing up, and how they influenced the nation under their leadership. Oh, I almost forgot— you have thirty minutes!"

Leo laughed. "You could become a stand-up comedian if you wanted to, Raph."

"Like, how do they seriously expect me to remember every single fucking detail when I can't even remember what I ate yesterday?!" Raph felt good ranting about his teachers' ridiculous expectations. For some reason, he could only openly tell this to Leo.

"Yeah, Roosevelt Prep has a knack for being. . . unrealistic. But believe it or not, I was excited when dad transferred you to my old school."

Raph rolled his eyes. "I think dad wanted to see me suffer. I mean, come on! Sending me to one of the most energy-draining schools in Manhattan? What, was I not decent enough?"

"You know that's not the reason, Raph. You know how he thought about your old school."

If there was a prize for 'most troublesome school in the history of schools', it would definitely go to St. Joseph's. His father had even warned him about going there, but the more someone told Raph not to do something, the more likely he was at rebelling. He purposefully chose to go to St. Joseph's, despite finishing middle school with good grades. Like catching the flu, Raph caught on his peers' bad habits, such as ditching and falling asleep in class. This took a toll on his grades, which in an Asian household, was equivalent to spitting on your ancestors' shrine. Unable to accept this, Yoshi took matters into his own hands and forced Raph to go to Roosevelt Prep to clean up his act. If Raph knew beforehand that his father was going to do such a thing, he would've just ran away and join a traveling circus.

When Raph didn't speak on the topic, Leo then asked carefully, "You're staying out of trouble, right?"

Although Leo gave many different reasons explaining why he wasn't interested going to a university outside of New York City, Raph knew the true reason was to keep him (Raph) from getting into trouble. In Leo's head, if he was closer to home, he would keep an eye on his younger brother. Even at sixteen years of age, Leo never stopped worrying about him.

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying that I'm some fucking delinquent?" Raph went on the offensive, just to entertain himself.

"No, Raph's that's not what I meant-"

"You think I spend all my free time hot-wiring cars, shop-lifting, and spray-painting graffiti on the wall?"

"No, I don't. Look, I'm sorry-"

"Why would you say that, huh? Like, sorry if I'm not incredibly gifted and talented like you are."

Leo stayed silent, feeling guilty for making his brother feel that way. Raph burst out laughing. "Geez, man, I'm kidding. You totally fell for it." But deep down, Raph couldn't help but wonder if there was truth behind his humor.

Raph could already picture Leo shaking his head and frowning deeply.

"I just want to know that you're okay," Leo said, almost whispering.

Raph felt an inkling of tenderness, but he brushed it off and teased, "Yes, dad. I'm doing fine. No ditching. No fighting. No trying to fall behind in class. Nada. That is what you meant, right?"

"Don't ever think that you're some kind of delinquent, Raph. You're a good kid."

"Tell that to dad."

"He doesn't think of you that way. I don't either. Not even when you fell into dangerous hands and started causing trouble. That wasn't you."

Raph's chest tightened. Leo was referring to something that Raph liked to call 'The biggest screwup of my life.'

"And I know I said this many times, but I never blamed you for what happened. You only took that path because you were trying to prove-"

Raph couldn't do this. He couldn't afford to engage in a conversation where he was most vulnerable, so he did what he did best: "Shit, uh, what's that, Leo? The connection is breaking up on me so I can't hear you. . . I guess I'll hang up now. . ." Nothing was wrong with the call and Raph perfectly knew that, but he had to get away.

Now that the call had ended, Raph was left alone to lick his own wounds, tasting his own shame and regret. The memories he tried to block out all those years ago flooded back into his brain like a tsunami. He never forgot the looks on his family's faces— especially his father's.

Raph then thought about his mother. If she were alive, what would she think? That this was the person her little boy had made himself into?

In a fucked-up way, Raph thought it was better that his mother was dead. If she saw the shit he had done, it would kill her a second time.