Maggie-

"Your father is alive, you are correct." She states casually and even though I had guessed, hoped even, the wind was knocked out of me.

"Why?" I manage to speak before the walls close in around me.

"Why what?" She's acting as if this is all just some simple misunderstanding. 

"Why everything? Why lie? Why wouldn't you come clean?" I ask desperately. "Please, I need answers."

"You always were one for the dramatics. Take a seat girl, I might as well spill the beans." She sighs as if this is all a burden on her.

"William and I were always unsuited for each other.  We argued continuously but he insisted on staying together for you until it became too much of a hassle. Eventually, we could no longer hide our hatred for each other, our words we're venom in our mouths and we took advantage of every possible opportunity to hurt one another."

"Why would you want to hurt each other?" I interrupt, I know I've irritated her when her once easy look fades to a scowl.

"When I got pregnant I wanted an abortion. I knew we weren't suited for each other and he could never be a great father. He was the class clown, a troublemaker, a womanizer, and the list goes on. But he wouldn't allow it, he was so excited when he discovered I was pregnant and he insisted we go through with the pregnancy."

"So I was a mistake then." I always knew my mother had some deep-seeded issues with me, always nitpicking every flaw, but this- She never wanted me.

"Yes girl, but we owned up to our mistake. He married me when I got pregnant with you because it was the right thing to do. But soon the right decisions became hazy and unclear as he realized he might be missing out on life." She rolls her eyes as she watches me look to the floor with disappointment.

"Maggie, he wanted his freedom, he wanted to join a band, he wanted to travel, for goodness sakes, I married a child." She rubs her forehead as if the memories have caused a migraine. "I told him to leave, I gave him his ticket to freedom and he took it, so I raised you on my own. You should be happy he wasn't around, you would have ended up a very different girl. He had no sense of responsibility, no discipline, he was a wastrel."

Silence fills the air as I attempt to grasp every word she's spoken. He never seemed to be a bad person. With what little I can remember, he seemed like a good man, a good father.

"It was the oddest thing though, you never noticed our arguments and if you did notice it's as if you pretended it wasn't real."  She says as her eyes meet mine.

"When he left us, you were so young. You asked me where he was one day and I simply told you, 'He's gone and he's not coming back.'  I was glad to be rid of him." She smiles as if him abandoning us was a blessing. 

"So how did I come to think he died?" I'm flabbergasted.

"I didn't realize you thought he was dead until months later. You were telling your friends he was in heaven, saying he was your guardian angel. I was perplexed, we hadn't even been to a funeral."

"What?" I ask unconvinced.

"It's true, I wouldn't have believed it myself unless I'd heard it. So technically honey, you lied to yourself. I just never corrected you, I knew it was for the best." She insists as she waves her hands around, attempting to dig her way out of this dark deception. "Easier, less of a mess, no explaining why he left or having you run off in an attempt to find him."

"I could have had my father but you took that from me? You just let me believe he was dead because it was easier than the truth?" I ask in a mixture of shock and disbelief. Anger waves through me and my cheeks flush from heat.

Was she so ashamed of the fact that he left her that she'd lie to her own daughter?

"I can't breathe." I say as a panic attack starts to take it's hold on me. My chest begins rising and falling in a stuttering motion and the corners of my vision begin to blur.

"Always so dramatic, he left us and we were better off without him. Your father was a damn hippie." She huffs. "He couldn't handle responsibilities or duty and he wasn't mentally equipped to raise a child." She brushes him off like he was an inconvenience or a pest.

"Did he try to contact me?" I ask on the edge of my seat while doing my best to calm my breathing.

"He paid child support and he sent a few letters." She shrugs.

"Letters? For me?" I ask. "Do you have them?" I decide I'll bring up the fact that he was paying us the whole time later. For now, I just want those letters.

"I saved them." She shrugs casually and I stop myself from reaching out to slap her. "Not that I know where they all are, besides what could he possibly have to say? You were a small child when he left, he doesn't even know you anymore."

"Oh and you do?" I counter.  I glare at her pondering every lie she's ever told about my father, then deciding I don't even know this woman. 

"I want those letters. You know I won't hesitate to break into your house again." I threaten. My hands tighten into fists and my nails dig into my palms.

"Fine, I can have them delivered some time this week. Where do you want them sent?"  She says with a straight face and I begin to wonder if she ever really cared about anyone other than herself.

I quickly write Jacks address down on a scrap of paper and slide it over to her.

She looks at it briefly and raises her eyes to mine. "You've moved?"

I forget how little she's actually involved in my life, she has no clue what's going on in my world. The only reason she found me was because I told her on Christmas I was working here. 

I still have a few things in my old apartment, but for the most part, everything I own is at Jack's.  Since he's so busy with his new book and the awards, we wanted to be together as much as we could when he's around.  However, I'm really not ready to go into details with my mother about my living situation so I keep it vague.

"It's Jackson's house and I'm usually there when I'm not working." I spit unwilling to give any more information than needed.

She surprisingly doesn't pry and instead just nods her head.

"Understood." She says as she stands to leave.

Unbelievable.  My mother didn't even apologize.  She acts as if this was all just a simple misunderstanding as if none of this is directly her fault.  How can you possibly blame a child for being confused about her father leaving and not set her straight?

"Nice office by the way." She mutters on her way to the door.

"Thanks." I don't bother turning to look at her.

"Definitely a step up from that trashy bar." Of course she'd have to give a dig before she left.

"Leave." I order without looking back but she doesn't leave, instead, she stops in the doorway and an unfamiliar sorrow blankets her voice.

"I'm the one who stayed you know. I'm the one who changed your diapers, stayed up with you when you had bad dreams, helped you with your homework.  You didn't need him then and you don't need him now." Her tone sounds different then usual, almost as if she's in pain.  I finally turn to look at her but it's too late, she's already left.

I turn my office chair so it's facing the city and plop down in it, taking my legs into my chest as if I'm giving myself a hug.  I sit for a few minutes running through different memories in my mind, searching for anything I can remember about my father but I come up blank. It's as if I've erased them completely. 

I wonder what I could have changed, what I could have done to keep my father in my life.  Did she hide him from me just because of what I said as a child or did she really believe she was doing me a favor?

I feel a few tears make their way down my cheek and reach to wipe under my eyes.  When I examine my fingers afterward I see black smudges, which means my eyeliner is a mess.

Not long after my mother has left I hear the office door open, but I don't turn around to see who it is. Jack makes his way in front of my chair and kneels beside me.  His hand blankets mine which is unknowingly gripping the armrest and I relax my fingers.

Worry crosses his face again and I remember that I need to be strong for him.  I can't have him canceling his book tour for me. I know that deep down, even if he never admits it, he would regret that he missed his tour and maybe even subconsciously blame me for it in the future.

"I ran into your mom in the lobby." He whispers.

"Yep, she finally came clean, more or less. My father is alive." I respond in a more controlled tone than I expected I'd be able to produce.

"Are you okay?" He asks as he continues examining my face.

I manage a smile and a nod, trying my best to make him believe it but his brows pull together with disbelief.

"This is a good thing, everyone wishes their loved ones would come back from the dead." I try my best to sound enthusiastic. "Right?"

He nods sadly before looking to the floor.

"We should be celebrating, let's go out tonight." I think I need a drink.

Jack's face looks even more concerned now. "You want to go out?"

"I think I need it, a night of normalcy. Let's go to The Palace tonight and dance it up." I utter as enthusiastically as I can. I really need to convince him I'm okay. I've always been the one reluctant to go out, so this is definitely a switch for me having to convince Jackson. 

"I guess, if that's what you need." He says as if he's trying to sniff out my motives. "Alright, I'll pick you back up at-"

"I'll just meet you there." I interrupt, god knows I need time to make myself look decent. "Now get out of here, I have so much to do!"

Jack is reluctant to leave, but before long I'm able to convince him I'm okay. After a few goodbye kisses, I rush him out and sit at my desk hoping to be more productive than I have been.

However, the rest of the day I have a hard time concentrating on any of the books I'm reading.  After reading the same paragraph for what seems like one hundred times I decide to take a break and get something to eat.

When I head down to the lunchroom I spot Nick and Alisa already enjoying take out.

"Do you guys just live here in the breakroom?" I tease through a smile.

"Oh, honey, why were you crying?" Alisa asks and her red hair swooshes through the air as she rushes to comfort me. 

"It's just been a long day of reading sappy love stories." I say and realize that it really is the perfect excuse. "We're going to the club next door when I get off, you guys should join us."

"Oh hell yeah, I'm in." Nick says enthusiastically and brushes a lock of blonde hair from his eyes. "You in Alisa?" He asks.

"Wish I could but I've got a full load of work to do tonight." She shrugs. "You guys have fun though, take a shot for me."

"That won't be a problem." Nick gives me a cheeky grin and elbows me right in the ribs which makes me involuntarily laugh. 

The rest of the day seems to move slowly but I get one manuscript done and turn in my report. I adjust my makeup, fix the eyeliner, and put a new bright red lipstick on. I check myself out in the mirror in the bathroom and decide I look better than when I arrived this morning, I love this new lip color on me. After quickly fluffing my hair, I leave for the bar to meet Jackson and Nick.

It's been a while since I've even stepped inside of my old stomping grounds and I'm not sure if I'm excited or nervous that I might run into Sam. 

I'm used to walking in and seeing his bright beautiful smile greeting me but with the way we left things, I'm not sure what his reaction will be. The fact that I haven't spoken to him since I quit makes me worry.

I open the large front doors of the club and I'm greeted with loud music and neon lights shining on the dance floor.  It's extremely crowded, sweaty bodies litter the area as I look around the room for Jackson. I'm half expecting to find him in a corner with a sexy brooding look. 

I see him and immediately the oxygen is completely sucked out of my lungs and I feel as if the world is spinning in slow motion. The little green jealousy monster that hasn't reared its ugly face in quite a while, suddenly makes an appearance as I spot Jack speaking with a tiny blonde I remember only as Julie.

I think back to when I met Jackson that first night and Julie was hanging all over him, calling him 'Jackie.'  I feel nauseous as I watch the two of them converse lightheartedly and even see a smile cross Jack's face.

I hadn't realized that Nick was beside me until his voice boomed into my ears, "Is that your man over there talking to the blonde?"
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I try to speak but instead, a noise that sounds like a mixture of laughter and anger comes out and I'm reminded of a t-rex from Jurassic Park. I'd be embarrassed, but I can't seem to focus. I feel a rush of heat flow through me, and it isn't the fever Jackson normally provides. 

I can't seem to pry my eyes from them until Nick shouts over the loud music, "Well, let's go get your man." then wraps his arm around mine. 

My first reaction is to pull away because I don't want Nick to get the wrong idea, but my second thought is much more devious.

"Alright, let's go." I say through a wicked grin and for the night, my mind has been taken off my father.